Island Of The Gawker Part Six. Time To Fix These Cult Hicks!

Did they actually think a jail with a dirt floor could hold a cat at their shore? Miss Priss and I simply dug beneath the bars and of course instead of freeing ourselves, we got blasted off to Mars. That is to say thanks to two cats digging their way out, Drazin and Pat began to shout, as the floor caved in and we fell into some lit up bin. There were torches all around and thankfully our fall was cushioned by the falling ground. But still that stone floor hurt. I would like to smack whoever said it is safe to dig in the dirt.

"Now look what you fleabags did. You've trapped Drazin in some pit. If there is no way out Drazin will eat you first."

"Quiet demon, though shall not succumb to such acts."

Drazin was threatening to have us for brunch and Pat was once again out to lunch. Then out came three mutts smaller than me followed my some smug lady. She looked like a Mary but I guess she went by Contrary. Her mutts yapped thinking they were scary and brave but scattered when Drazin grunted and stomped his foot beginning to rant and rave.

"First fleabags and now little hairless mutts. Drazin has to get out of here. Drazin is going to..."

"Would you shut up already. Maybe she knows a way off this island."

"Keep thy guard up. She could be a demon."

Contrary smiled at the comment of Miss Priss and I could not help but figure she new something we did not about all of this. She stated we may find the answers we seek or end up a glowy eyed freak. But we certainly were on no three hour tour that was for sure.

"That was helpful. Is it just Drazin or do people seem to be getting crazier by the second?"

"He has a point."

"A TV reference. Well at least we know how to turn Pat back."

Contrary was not very helpful at all, as she and her dogs turned into a fiery ball. They zoomed down a path lighting it up for us and we figured what's one more for the short bus. So we followed Contrary's trail and came to a room producing underground hail. It stopped as we entered and formed into the shape of an L. Really? What the hell?

The L shaped hail also started to speak and began yapping about Gawker peak. It seems L was almost gawked by The Gawker's stare but barely escaped his glare. Now she is stuck in limbo of some sort unable to stray from this underground court.

"L? What kind of name is that? Let's all do it. Drazin is now D. D finds it fun to do. D thinks it's crap though, so D is going back to Drazin."

Drazin fell on his behind as L's hail whatever it was thought he was unkind and rammed into the godly one. Who no longer made fun. Thankfully he saved Pat and Miss Priss from saying something like that and I suppose even the cat. Once more he came through. His godly powers must be true. Drazin grunted as he got to his feet and L sounded like she was like Blabber's communication and began to repeat.

"No earth is an island. The magic you seek is there, believe and the island can be earth."

"Does that make sense to anyone?"

"Nothing makes sense to Drazin in this damn place. Drazin is going to ring Merlin's neck."

"Great! Look what your loud mouth did now. As if bald McClane in Die Hard 4 wasn't bad enough. Now we have to listen to you and her with no mute button."

The hail disappeared from sight with her voice still repeating the same old sound bite. But it was overwhelmed by the cries of some glowy eyed freaks coming our way ready to cause us dismay. I guess they honed in on us from L's warning or whatever, thinking they were oh so clever.

"You've come up against D to the 4 and I'll leave you a smudge on the floor."
"Surrender to my power, as I leave you in a Beer Shower."
"Jaywalk Moon will pick your eyes out with a spoon."

"One wants to get us drunk, another wants to use cutlery on us and another wants us to go on the floor? I guess Die Hard 4 is sounding better by the second."

"Drazin has had enough of these clowns."

Drazin marched right up to one and grabbed them by their shroud. It then poofed away into a black cloud. It appeared behind him and gave him a whack, shoving him once more waste deep into the stone floor preventing any attack.

"Same trick twice. Drazin you really need to wise up. But we can do the same."

Miss Priss yanked me toward her and latched onto my fur. I guess she was hoping to increase our spirit and hoped these guys would fear it. Pat tried throwing rocks at the shrouded flocks. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to know how that went, as he did not even make a dent. The glowy eyed freaks just laughed us off, as the two of us did not even make them scoff. But suddenly they were struck with fear and a rock Pat threw dinged one right in the ear.

Drazin dung himself out of the hole and accomplished his goal. He rang the neck of one and laughed a ton, slamming it to the ground and acting all profound.

"D to the 4 has to warn The Gawker that they found the cure."
"Don't leave Jaywalk Moon with this loon."
"At least give Beer Shower a beer before you cower."

The D to the 4 guy ran away but we sure made the other two pay. They stated how we would never win and how we were committing such a sin. The Gawker would know and he would have us all wrapped in a great big bow. Drazin scoffed and threw him in the hole they put him in. Pat grabbed the other and chucked him down with his freaky kin. Miss Priss and I kicked away and buried them right where they lay. Two more glowy eyed freaks were down only another thousand or so to go in crazy town.

We heard some chirp and turned to find that tarsier standing on a raccoon who gave a burp. Now we knew how we had the power to stop them all for their combined souls helped us as they waited in the hall. He made his head go indicating for us to follow and we did along with a whole group of animals including a swallow. We walked up a hill into the light and found ourselves just outside the cult's invisible wall thing's site.

The tarsier pointed and we saw the cavemen lackeys dragging Petsy and Blabber into their antique town. Just giving us another foe we had to take down. Even Drazin was game for a little bit of cult mame, after all they had saved us before so it was time we evened the score. Miss Priss signaled for tarsier and Petsy's animals to stay until they heard us call for a stampede to cause the cult dismay. Then we stepped through ready to give this cult what they had coming due.

********************

I guess we did not fix those cult hicks yet but next time I would say that is a pretty safe bet. For part seven I don't intend on rhyming them into heaven. But they will get a thrill and maybe need to pop a pill when I give them their rhyming fill. Damn, cavemen mass will suffer the wrath of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.