Friday, March 30, 2012

Island Of The Gawker Part Six. Time To Fix These Cult Hicks!

Did they actually think a jail with a dirt floor could hold a cat at their shore? Miss Priss and I simply dug beneath the bars and of course instead of freeing ourselves, we got blasted off to Mars. That is to say thanks to two cats digging their way out, Drazin and Pat began to shout, as the floor caved in and we fell into some lit up bin. There were torches all around and thankfully our fall was cushioned by the falling ground. But still that stone floor hurt. I would like to smack whoever said it is safe to dig in the dirt.

"Now look what you fleabags did. You've trapped Drazin in some pit. If there is no way out Drazin will eat you first."

"Quiet demon, though shall not succumb to such acts."

Drazin was threatening to have us for brunch and Pat was once again out to lunch. Then out came three mutts smaller than me followed my some smug lady. She looked like a Mary but I guess she went by Contrary. Her mutts yapped thinking they were scary and brave but scattered when Drazin grunted and stomped his foot beginning to rant and rave.

"First fleabags and now little hairless mutts. Drazin has to get out of here. Drazin is going to..."

"Would you shut up already. Maybe she knows a way off this island."

"Keep thy guard up. She could be a demon."

Contrary smiled at the comment of Miss Priss and I could not help but figure she new something we did not about all of this. She stated we may find the answers we seek or end up a glowy eyed freak. But we certainly were on no three hour tour that was for sure.

"That was helpful. Is it just Drazin or do people seem to be getting crazier by the second?"

"He has a point."

"A TV reference. Well at least we know how to turn Pat back."

Contrary was not very helpful at all, as she and her dogs turned into a fiery ball. They zoomed down a path lighting it up for us and we figured what's one more for the short bus. So we followed Contrary's trail and came to a room producing underground hail. It stopped as we entered and formed into the shape of an L. Really? What the hell?

The L shaped hail also started to speak and began yapping about Gawker peak. It seems L was almost gawked by The Gawker's stare but barely escaped his glare. Now she is stuck in limbo of some sort unable to stray from this underground court.

"L? What kind of name is that? Let's all do it. Drazin is now D. D finds it fun to do. D thinks it's crap though, so D is going back to Drazin."

Drazin fell on his behind as L's hail whatever it was thought he was unkind and rammed into the godly one. Who no longer made fun. Thankfully he saved Pat and Miss Priss from saying something like that and I suppose even the cat. Once more he came through. His godly powers must be true. Drazin grunted as he got to his feet and L sounded like she was like Blabber's communication and began to repeat.

"No earth is an island. The magic you seek is there, believe and the island can be earth."

"Does that make sense to anyone?"

"Nothing makes sense to Drazin in this damn place. Drazin is going to ring Merlin's neck."

"Great! Look what your loud mouth did now. As if bald McClane in Die Hard 4 wasn't bad enough. Now we have to listen to you and her with no mute button."

The hail disappeared from sight with her voice still repeating the same old sound bite. But it was overwhelmed by the cries of some glowy eyed freaks coming our way ready to cause us dismay. I guess they honed in on us from L's warning or whatever, thinking they were oh so clever.

"You've come up against D to the 4 and I'll leave you a smudge on the floor."
"Surrender to my power, as I leave you in a Beer Shower."
"Jaywalk Moon will pick your eyes out with a spoon."

"One wants to get us drunk, another wants to use cutlery on us and another wants us to go on the floor? I guess Die Hard 4 is sounding better by the second."

"Drazin has had enough of these clowns."

Drazin marched right up to one and grabbed them by their shroud. It then poofed away into a black cloud. It appeared behind him and gave him a whack, shoving him once more waste deep into the stone floor preventing any attack.

"Same trick twice. Drazin you really need to wise up. But we can do the same."

Miss Priss yanked me toward her and latched onto my fur. I guess she was hoping to increase our spirit and hoped these guys would fear it. Pat tried throwing rocks at the shrouded flocks. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to know how that went, as he did not even make a dent. The glowy eyed freaks just laughed us off, as the two of us did not even make them scoff. But suddenly they were struck with fear and a rock Pat threw dinged one right in the ear.

Drazin dung himself out of the hole and accomplished his goal. He rang the neck of one and laughed a ton, slamming it to the ground and acting all profound.

"D to the 4 has to warn The Gawker that they found the cure."
"Don't leave Jaywalk Moon with this loon."
"At least give Beer Shower a beer before you cower."

The D to the 4 guy ran away but we sure made the other two pay. They stated how we would never win and how we were committing such a sin. The Gawker would know and he would have us all wrapped in a great big bow. Drazin scoffed and threw him in the hole they put him in. Pat grabbed the other and chucked him down with his freaky kin. Miss Priss and I kicked away and buried them right where they lay. Two more glowy eyed freaks were down only another thousand or so to go in crazy town.

We heard some chirp and turned to find that tarsier standing on a raccoon who gave a burp. Now we knew how we had the power to stop them all for their combined souls helped us as they waited in the hall. He made his head go indicating for us to follow and we did along with a whole group of animals including a swallow. We walked up a hill into the light and found ourselves just outside the cult's invisible wall thing's site.

The tarsier pointed and we saw the cavemen lackeys dragging Petsy and Blabber into their antique town. Just giving us another foe we had to take down. Even Drazin was game for a little bit of cult mame, after all they had saved us before so it was time we evened the score. Miss Priss signaled for tarsier and Petsy's animals to stay until they heard us call for a stampede to cause the cult dismay. Then we stepped through ready to give this cult what they had coming due.

********************

I guess we did not fix those cult hicks yet but next time I would say that is a pretty safe bet. For part seven I don't intend on rhyming them into heaven. But they will get a thrill and maybe need to pop a pill when I give them their rhyming fill. Damn, cavemen mass will suffer the wrath of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

92 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. A great and a story
      R is here in all his glory..haha

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    2. I think you should write an entire post for R to show your appreciation Pat.

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    3. LMAO that would only be two words though
      People wouldn't come to my show..haha

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    4. I would, I would...we could build upon the two words, rhyme after rhyme LOL

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    5. LOL hmmm there could be an idea to do
      Letting each have two words and then I'll put it together for all to view..haha

      Delete
  2. Awesome stuff Pat, I'm with R, you're an awesome writer of stories, I seriously need to purchase that book you and Bersecules worked on together.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They just flow out of me
      Here at my sea
      Whether rhyming or not
      Seems I can do a lot

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  3. Makes me smile for a while every day, just crazy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See what crazy can do
      Make a smile come everyday for you

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  4. Replies
    1. Great Stuff at my sea
      Is always fun for me

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  5. MArs? I bet you went to Mars for some Dejah Thoris, you naughty Cat!

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    Replies
    1. She would surely be worth the trip
      Although by the time I got there I doubt I could move without breaking a hip..haha

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  6. Replies
    1. I can do that too
      LOL see there it is to view

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  7. Oh no! Not some cavemen lackies!
    That is just so tacky!
    Hurry and save us Cat
    before they squash us flat!
    Meanwhile, Blabber and I will put our minds together
    and confuse them in their endeavor
    They don't look like they have much between the eyes
    so we'll confuse them with some lies.

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    1. haha yeah I'm sure confusing them wouldn't take much
      As with reality they are slightly out of touch
      I'm sure the cat will save you though
      Or at least put on a pretty good show
      If they try to eat the cat
      You may be doomed at my mat..haha

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    2. I have no doubt we will be saved by the cat
      I have faith in Orlin and the beautiful Cass.
      The zoo stampede is standing by
      ready to run when they hear the battle cry.

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    3. haha plus you have loud mouth Drazin there too
      He will yap until he turns blue
      Getting their attention away
      Well we save the day
      Then may come the stampede
      To seal the deed
      But who knows
      How it goes

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    4. and how did I get there with Drazin anyway?
      I thought I sat on my elephant and goodbye to you waived
      and stayed at my zoo
      with all my crew.

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    5. LOL the cult people need sacrifices and Petsy is one of the four humans not part of them or Gawked by The Gawker on the island
      So they snuck into your zoo and binded each hand
      Sneaking you out to be sacrificed to the moon
      So they can be sent above thanks to this rhyming loon..haha

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    6. well I guess I'm human at least
      and not some kind of beast.
      lol.

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    7. LOL maybe you can transform
      In an animal that can cause a storm..haha

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  8. Oh another part!
    Rhyming from the start!

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    Replies
    1. I will rhyme from beginning to end
      That is solely my daily trend

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  9. The earth is an island in the sea of space

    that's some philosophical ace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It truly is indeed
      But there could be more than what is revealed on today's feed

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  10. Looks like I'm back in the blogger world after they tried to kick me out. Sigh...

    What's a shroud??? Isn't that the protective lining under your car?!

    and I knew a stampede would come. I just knew it!! Can I just say that I love having a tarsier in this story?? It's the second best thing to actually having one!!! This keeps getting better and better! I'm going to be sad to this this series end! hahaha

    P.S. B/w Petsy, IrishAir, and Blabber those cult people have zero chance!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blogger could never keep you away
      You'd blabber their ear off it thye tried such a display..haha

      A shroud is a cloth of some sort that one wears around them to protect their identity or something like that
      Think of some cartoon grim reaper with that black thing over him and that is what those glowy eyed freaks are wearing at my mat

      LOL he just popped in when I went to add you.
      I too like having him there to use and view
      hahaha it still has prob 4 more to go
      As I am on number eight at my show
      Plus it may be a while
      As next month Pat goes the A to Z mile
      But it will come due
      And hopefully stay better and better until it is through

      LOL yeah we'd don't even need to save you
      As you three would knock them out before they had a clue

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    2. Blogger raped my e-mail this morning, so I'll call us even. hahahaha

      I still think that the under part of your car is called a shroud. Any mechanics want to chime in? lol

      What is the A to Z mile????? And that's right!! Us 3 are tough cookies! The cat may end up hiding behind us! LOL

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    3. LOL well he just might hide behind you and your hair
      As you pull a Squat the Robot and spin it around with such flair..hahaha
      Not sure on the under part of a car
      With cars my knowledge doesn't go very far..haha
      Blogger does deserve what it gets from you
      After such crap coming due

      The A to Z challenge thing is for the month of April
      Like some 1200 bloggers or so signed up for the thrill
      And each day you post something that starts with A, B , C
      So on and so forth at ones sea.
      The cat figured he'd give it a go
      As he'll just rant as usual at his show..haha
      Still can sign up too
      If you wish such a thing for you

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    4. I'm doing the A-Z, too! But I don't think you are in my group.

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    5. Does that mean we have to wait a MONTH until the end of the gawker?????? Sigh...

      So you're both blogging in the alphabet?? This should be interesting. hahaha

      P.S. I'm watching Supernatural. It's about a Japanese monster!! Think it's a sign??? LOL!!

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    6. There is a group for the A to Z
      Hmmm that was not known to thee..haha

      No there are free days here and there
      So there will be one or two edition of The Gawker at my lair
      So he will return
      Making all feel his gawker burn

      hahahaha the universe is trying to tell you to run
      Or call the Winchesters before you go to work under Monday's sun..haha

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    7. I got an email from my group leader. She has 110 of us assigned to her. Yeah, we have Sundays off except for the 1st. Should be fun! jax...you should join!

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    8. Pffft no email for me came due
      I figured I would just reply to all that came to view
      And hop around to a few more
      Oh well just another day at my shore
      And yours as well
      As we pretty much daily ring the post bell

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  11. Lost in lost. Reminds me of that film 'Changing channels' starring John Ritter where they get sucked in to a series of tv shows. Ritter became a quitter when his heart developed a titter. I recognised a John Donne refrence, which is ironic considering Lost offered a surface philosophy course in its characters names.I think Kate was the famous tree climbing philosopher history forgot.No man is an islan, this island earth giant lobster men and tefal men.Tefal is a popular cooking equipment company in England, the adverts had the engineers as giant forhead mutants.

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    Replies
    1. Wow you took a ton away from this part
      Of the Gawker story cart
      I remember that John Ritter movie too
      Maybe that plays a bit in my mind as things come due
      Lost had tons of references and philosphy as well
      Even if the ending was pathetic as hell

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  12. No earth is an island. Is that kind of like, "No man is an island?" Pretty profound.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah something like that
      But there is a spin on it from the cat

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  13. I have a headache now after all that action ;) Beam me up Scottie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha hope it doesn't put you in traction
      That would be a bad action

      Delete
  14. Wow, all those animals stampeding a plenty, I actually lost count of all those paws, was it eight or was it twenty. The pit fix was cool, reminded me of old video games where you had to beat one level before moving to the next, yet each turn another adventure spouts and off you go, fighting until you reach the final foe. Although video games don't tend to have so many cool rhyming flow, they may have some soundtrack or radio stations you can change in car, right before you beat the….anyhow, the tale is progressing fine, moving along the gawker line, whether on a mountain or up in space, it seems like the enemies got the upper hand but one that will surely eventually fall to sand. and oh, btw I just read another Die Hard is on the way, coming later this year or so they say, I think it's john mclane and his kid….I'll probably be a sap and go see it but really did they have to extend that fight.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. haha wait until they all come in
      Then they will really confuse at my bin
      Yeah that does kind of seem like what it tends to be
      Just when we think we are free
      Poof back we go
      To fight some other foe
      hahaha yeah it is probably going to be crap
      But I too will watch it like a sap
      Sadly it can't get much worse than four
      So I will take the fifth tour

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  15. Replies
    1. Nice R channel there
      You do it well which is rare..haha

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    2. Oh the dread
      R is going to everyones head

      Delete
  16. oh, sorry, for a second, I thought I was "R" - we share that common bond of one letter names and all....

    **applause**, **applause**

    everyone, everyone, please, take your seats! Oh, I see, you're all sitting already *ahem* I'd like to thank the academy, my moms, umm, Steve Jobs for allowing me to spend a ton of money on this MacBook Pro I'm typing on...what? I'm not famous???? I'm mentioned in a story...but, Pat made me feel really, really famous. Not to mention oober cool. Plus he said All Hail L - oh, he didn't?? I couldn't have sworn I read that...damn...

    =)

    Thanks Pat!!

    BTW - I'm copying this for future generations....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO glad you liked it
      As we fell into the pit
      And you gave use a clue
      As to where we were as the tale grew
      I hope you enjoy your great award
      You can whack people with it when you are bored
      LOL all hail the L
      Drazin might not like seeing that at my cell..hahahaha

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    2. We love "L" don't we Pats? She's my coruler of Hooliganville.

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    3. A title I share with honor indeed!!!! I'm polishing my crown right now....

      damn, a ruby fell off...

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    4. Sure I guess there is a little love
      The cat will even eat a dove
      So it doesn't fly over head
      And cause you dread
      By pooing on your crown
      Giving you a frown..hahahaha

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  17. bald maclane in die hard was good and bad
    contrary's fireball would have hurt a tad
    drazin should never be questioned
    the tarsier i will not mention
    d to the 4 can eat a smore
    this episode goes down in rhyme time lore

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that would have hurt some
      If it hit my little rhyming bum
      Drazin will get questioned by the cat
      For we can't have that
      And glad it will go down his lore
      As there should be four more

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  18. Blogger is finally letting me comment. Jesus Christ, this thing is going to drive us all crazy again while it goes through it's new changes.

    I'm so irritated right now the only thing I have left in me today is a "nice post" for everyone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it's been a bit crazy with comments around the Blogosphere today ;( Some blogs didn't even have comments possible today.
      Maybe Pats is diverting our attention while he tries to break into our Irish/Serbian Gossiping Alliance headquarters? I've left him a poo there for his Pringles collection :)

      Delete
    2. Yeah it's only going to get worse once more
      In the coming days at each and every shore
      Such a pain in the ass
      On these stupid changes blogger should take a pass

      Hmmm you would never know I snuck in
      To your alliance headquarters bin
      Unless i stopped and left more poop
      For you to scoop

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    3. Oh we would know, we would just let you think we didn't know until we decided we wanted you to know that we know. It all starts out as a little mindgame and before you know it BAM you're locked up in the looney bin and we're holding the keys.

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    4. Oh but you won't know that I know that you know about me knowing that you know
      Then my deceit will grow
      And no rubber room or straight jacket can hold me
      And I will be right where I want to be
      Going through all the records of your little group
      And leaving nothing but a pringle can full of Dez's favorite, poop..haha

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    5. see, Anne, how he thinks that he knows that he knows that we know that he knows that we know... ah, poor little naive feline pooper... he'll become our super trooper in no time after we've done with our little mindgames.

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    6. I will never give in and submit to any of that you know that I know and all the know stuff
      For the cat is very tough

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    7. oh, please, we broke Chuck Norris, we will break you too :)

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    8. Pfft Chuck Norris is just an old fart
      With a bad heart

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  19. Yikes! I am Mary and somewhat contrary and have 'mutts.' Wonder if my ears should be ringing here!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm you never know
      It could be you at my show..hahaha

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    2. LOL!! You had me guessing.

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    3. LOL well it was you
      If you want me to be true..haha

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    4. I guess it was Mary you are referring to :-)

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    5. haha yes it was she
      Who was used by me

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  20. Zooming on, now, as I just posted the "Z" and feeling zippy. See you around the bend, Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds like a plan
      I'm also a zippy fan..haha

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  21. Replies
    1. I weaved in this and that
      For this edition from the cat

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  22. I like your play on the usual phrase with "No earth is an island".

    Great story!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah there is a point to that too
      Which will surely come due

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  23. Better fix those hicks before their blips become bliss

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes those hicks will fry
      As the cat will make them cry

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  24. Shout to great bloggers Pat Hatt style. You are awesome Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Always like to give a shout at my sea
      For it is fun to do at bush number three

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  25. I see some new things books) in the horizon...another book coming out again Pat...and whew, look at all your followers.

    I hope your blogger friends see the shout out ~ always fun at your shore ~ Good night ~

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    Replies
    1. Yeah new book coming once more at my nook
      As well as a few other surprise I cook
      But they come along rather slow
      And many followers do like my show
      Although maybe 200 come and go
      Faithfully just so you know

      Delete
  26. Hey now, I like Die Hard 4! It's number 3 I can't watch.

    This amused me: "She looked like a Mary but I guess she went by Contrary."

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse, co-host of the 2012 #atozchallenge! Twitter: @AprilA2Z

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    Replies
    1. Pffft such bad taste from you
      But I suppose I can forgive one it's true..haha

      Delete
  27. Ever thought of compiling all these rhymes and stories into a book pat? You could make a killing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I mean apart from the books you already have written that is.

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    2. Not sure about making a killing
      But it would be thrilling
      I'm thinking on putting the Gawker Island one into a book
      As it could be off the hook

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  28. This is a long story... thing...?

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  29. couldn't stop myself from reading Gawker part-6 :D
    awesome as ever

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha the gawker has you on the hook
      Here at my nook

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