Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Island of The Gawker Part Three. Will We Ever Get Back To Our Sea?

So we're back with the glowy eyed freaks causing us flack. The godly one sure could run fast, as he was keeping up with the rest of the cast. I had no idea who Pat thought he was now as he made some ancient sounding vow. Miss Priss and I just kept up with Blabber and her tarsier pet not liking the incoming threat. She disappeared from view and I knew she was short but really? Disappearing can't be true. Thankfully it was not as she popped up out of  the ground waving her arm around. Blabber held open the top to her secret base and waved us into her place. The godly one wasted little time jumping in and Pat just curled up his nose at the ground letting his OCD win. We did not have time for that. So he was pushed in by the cat. Miss Priss and I jumped in behind and we all slid down into a bunker setting hoping we escaped our bind.

The tarsier perked up his ears and after a few seconds relieved all our fears, as Miss Priss and I heard it too. The glowy eyed freaks did not have a clue. Drazin dusted himself off and continued to grunt, trying to act big and brave as he did not like being saved by a runt. Pat seemed normal once more, as the bunker sparkled and was so clean you could eat off the floor. Miss Priss was still delighted over Blabber saving us and I was glad that tarsier was not like Tarsier Man and on the short bus. Although the bug eyed thing ran around me and I chased it up its little fake tree. What did it expect a cat to do? Never fear, no eating came due I just gave him a mew and turned as Drazin's yap let his name once more ensue.

"Drazin could have held Drazin's own."

"Right, godly one. Just like how you did when they buried you in the big beach litter box."

"Drazin can still take you fleabag."

"Keep dreaming godly mook. So how did you get here?"

"Yeah, what's with the radio and the shampoo?"

"Better yet, flea on the knee, Drazin has to hear that one."

Blabber seemed a tad overwhelmed by their questioning of her and bent down brushing my fur. I guess she liked that I kept my mouth shut and I appreciated the safety of her underground hut. I suppose being here this long with only yourself to talk too might make one go loony tunes, it's sad but true. In this case I was not sure though and then Blabber caught me off guard as she began to blow. She grabbed a handful of what looked like dust and blew it on me with one quick gust. I sneezed and felt really weird and then in my brain the answers appeared. Magic dust, I guess it beats rust. That was not the end of it though for I started rhyming out the answers like I was at my rhyming show.

On a typical New York day,
Blabber went to her work bay.
It seems some evil Japanese,
Were tired of her collecting fees.

So they wished fleas on her knees.
Looking to do a bit more than tease.
It wasn't divine,
But she was still fine.

Until the shampoo
It turns out using shampoo times two
Coupled with a magic flea,
Brought her across the sea.

A flea on the knee,
A knee with a flea.
Took her across the sea,
At least it wasn't on me.

Blabber appeared before The Gawker,
Thinking he was another creepy stalker.
But that soon turned to concern,
As she felt his gawker burn.

"So a magic flea brought this Blabbermouth here? Drazin has heard some stories but that takes the cake."

"I'm sure Merlin jumped out of his Sword in the Stone Disney feature and had a hand in it."

"Pat's right. Besides oh godly one, you never told us how you got here."

"Drazin was eating french fries and then Drazin appeared on that beach."

"And magic french fries are better how?"

"At least Drazin can blame the french, Drazin bets they were Canadian too. Those damn french Canadians with their french "eh" can't be trusted. All the Blabbermouth runt here has is a flea. Drazin guesses she can blame a fleabag like you two. Great! The rhyming fleabag isn't done."

The Gawker's dome,
Was made of chrome.
With a shiny mohawk,
Increasing his gawk.

His Grammar Nazi chief,
Had crashed on the reef,
Heading to Bangkok,
Before getting gobbled up by the gawk.

The Dictionary Collector,
Was a knowledge protector.
Seeking a rare prized work,
Before he got gawked upon with a smirk.

The Penguin Man,
Was an obvious penguin fan.
He was on a secret mission,
And got gawked into submission.

These three lieutenants led the pack,
As they circled Blabber ready to attack.
She had nowhere to run,
Thinking she was done.

For The Gawker began to glare,
After seconds he parted his mohawk hair.
His head opened like a can,
Blabber found it gross and was not a fan.

Out popped a big eyeball,
The size of a basketball.
It was attached to a cord in his head,
And this is what he said.

The Gawker will have your soul,
This is the toll,
To live among The Gawker's land,
So give me your hand.

All your cares will go,
As you suffer my gawking glow.
Becoming one of my elite,
Won't you be a tasty treat.

He stepped closer,
Like a trained cat mouser.
Expecting Blabber to stay still,
But that ugly sight gave her OCD no thrill.

Thanks to her fit,
She still had her wit.
But being surrounded by each glowy eyed freak,
And stuck on Gawker Peak.

Left her with no course of action,
And she was slowly falling for his gawking attraction.
She kept worrying about her hair,
Almost succumbing to his stare.

When boom,
She swung her head around and her hair brought them doom.
It seemed to stretch for a mile,
And they found it quite vile.

The glowy eyed freaks charged her,
And the rest is a blur.
As Blabber stepped back,
And avoided their attack.

By accidentally falling from the peak,
Awaking to the tarsier near a creek.
And has since avoided another round with The Gawker coming due,
Still wishing for at least two kinds of shampoo.

"Fleabag, Drazin thinks that dust made you high. Magic hair? Falling from a cliff and living? Drazin knows this is all bull. Drazin is going to find this Gawker guy and make him eat that eyeball."

"It does seem like a bad day at Hogwarts or something."

"Even the godly mook makes more sense then this."

The three stood around confused and even though I felt a bit used, I somehow knew it was all true and could see everything in my mind's view. This dust was kind of cool and it did not make me drool. We all tried to process what we would have to do to stop The Gawker and his glowy eyed freakshow crew. We curled up and rested until dawn, hoping tomorrow we would be home and this place would be long gone.

********************

The more and more this damn place get shoved in the cat's face, the more we end up finding out some freaky crap. Dust that can make the cat rap? Geez, as if I need that. Now I was almost as whacko as Pat. But at least we were safe under the grass and that ends part three of the tale concerning my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

112 comments:

  1. Falling the cliff and living
    Gosh, did it again
    Got in first,
    Was no rehearse
    Lucky it is
    What bliss!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah off she went
      And didn't even get bent
      As you came first
      Once again with your burst

      Delete
  2. Here is the shocker...
    you have to deal with a Gawker!
    Fleas for everyone!
    What I just wrote really means nothing, but good post... LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL it was quite fun though
      And I hardly make much sense at my show

      Delete
  3. I see these three
    at your bay.
    They come here
    often to play.
    And you include
    them in
    your rhymes,
    well it's about
    bloody time.

    I can't wait to see what Dez has to say about this!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha they've been included time and time again at my bay
      Usually making fun as I have my say
      Should be interesting to see what penguin man says too
      As he got gawked and is now part of The Gawker crew

      Delete
    2. Annzie, this is strictly confidential, hope the cat won't hear us, but I've no idea who Gawker and Drazin and the rest of them are, I just pretend to have read cats meowing :)

      Delete
    3. Dez can read above a two year old level though
      So we will have to cut him some slack at my show

      Delete
  4. Good grief, your flow is so animated and it might end up disseminated...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that is the kind of flow
      I go for at my show

      Delete
  5. I have no words!! That was great!!! hahaha So Blabber got summoned to The Gawkers island by some magic flea? That's awful!!!!! At least the cat knows that their rescuer isn't lying! And the tarsier man saved her?! I can't think of a better rescuer!

    Was Pat really afraid of his OCD running a muck? The poor girl has been trapped there for God knows how long. She better have cleaned! Hell, she better even clean things that are already clean just to pass the time! hahahaha

    and now we know who The Gawker is! Dun dun dunnnnn lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. respect the hawk, even if you gawk, tis the season for fleas we just medicated our cat to cure them before being born, never had one whisk me away through, just nip and bite and not be nice....

      Delete
    2. LOL you will speak sooner or later I bet
      When the big eyeball once more makes you fret
      hahaha some magic flea on the knee
      Mixed with shampoo sent Blabber across the sea
      hahaha the tarsier was just there
      He's not what saved you or some lucky hare
      You shall see who/what saved you
      Then they through you away because you weren't part of the cat's crew

      LOL well it was dirt on the ground
      He head no idea Blabber had a bunker under there that can be found
      Yeah being bored to death on the island for so long
      She prob cleaned so much making the smell so strong
      That it made her go a tad french loon crazy
      Or at least make her eyes hazy
      Yep the Gawker is the mohawk guy
      That leaves a comment and likes to hit reply..haha

      Delete
    3. LOL respect the hawk all shall indeed
      Or they'll be gawked at on their feed
      And sent to loony tune land
      By a flea on the knee isn't that grand?

      Delete
    4. @Pat...of course Blabber will speak. She's so deafeningly quiet that I want to speak for her!! hahaha

      The tarsier didn't save her? How deceiving!!!! Then who or what did?!

      So if you mix shampoo with a magic flea on a knee that could send you to Gawker islander? Now, does the flea HAVE to be on the knee, or the presence of the flea is just enough? Sigh...Wait until I send you some magic bed bugs hiding in Cupids Diaper! Watch where they send you! You may even turn into a crazy Indonesian loon!

      P.S. Loved your Japanese reference above. I loled!!

      Delete
    5. lol...Jax, you crack me up. "I have no words!" but then you go on and on. Blabber is a good name for you, dear! hahahaha. Although "Chatty" would sound a little more appealing, don't you think? At least you got your shampoo! Now you need one more brand to rotate them!

      Delete
    6. hahahaha after being on the island for so long
      She may even sing a song..hahahaha
      The tarsier just found her there
      And stayed with her because she had nice hair..haha
      What/who saved you are a bunch of crazies which you will see
      As they may also save me

      That flea just had to be on your knee
      To send you across the sea
      So when you use shampoo
      Within a certain time frame that comes due
      Off you go
      To suffer the gawk of The Gawker at his show
      LOL a crazy Indonesian loon
      Also this magic would make for a fine cartoon

      hahaha had to throw them in
      To not to would have been a sin

      Delete
    7. Petsy you are mistaken I say
      As no shampoo is at her bay
      hahaha glad you agree with Blabber though
      Chatty just doesn't have quite the same flow

      Delete
    8. well get that girl a bottle or two
      as being with shampoo just will not do
      At least make her glad
      this trip she did have
      while she has to be Blabber
      and constantly jabber.
      lol.

      Delete
    9. That's it...I'm proving how quiet I can be.

      My lips are sealed!

      P.S. How long do I need to do this to prove my point???! I'm busting here!

      Delete
    10. you'll never last.
      now don't cause a scene at work! haha.

      Delete
    11. haha there is no shampoo on the island though
      So I guess you'll have to let your twin know
      Or I mean The Gawker
      Like that was a shocker
      She will Blabber either way
      But it is fun I will say

      LMAO that won't last long
      As the Japanese will surely think something is wrong..haha
      I think a second or two is enough
      Any more than that and things would get rough

      haha see two know it won't come due
      So just give up and blabber away on cue

      Delete
    12. wow...Jax..you do impress
      but I know this is killing you at best!

      Delete
    13. Wow a few hours without a blabber here
      She may think she caught some disease and been stricken with fear

      Delete
    14. I will continue to hold my toungue! Bullies....

      P.S. I can't stop eating b/c my mouth just doesn't know what to do...

      Delete
    15. LOL first I hope you washed your hand or hands before you started holding your tongue
      Bet the Japanese really thing your bell is rung..hahaha
      Second you can't continue to hold your tongue because you spoke
      So now you have to start all over and please don't choke..haha
      And third LMAO I hope you don't blame me
      If an extra pound or two attaches itself to thee
      Betsy is a bully too
      See I agree with you..hahahaha

      Delete
    16. Yes, you and Betsy can split the bill for my new wardrobe. If I keep this up I'll be a size 3 by next week and won't have anything to wear.

      Now excuse me while I go back to holding my toungue.
      Zip!

      Delete
    17. Betsy started it
      So she can take more of the bill hit
      60/40 I will say
      Will work better at my bay....lol
      But I have no fear
      Of you growing a great big ummm rear...hahaha
      For you could never keep your blabbermouth shut for a week
      So I guess Betsy and I aren't up the creek
      Hold the tongue but stop the drool
      That is just so uncool

      Delete
    18. Oh dear and Oh my.
      I laughed til I almost cried.
      And what's this 60/40 fluff?
      You started it, Mr. Tuff Stuff.
      lol.
      Yes, I think we are safe
      as Jax can't really partake
      of being in the silent state
      Way too hard to be quiet
      on talking she is reliant.
      ha.

      Delete
    19. I called her blabber and she was fine
      Until you had to go and cross the line
      That chatter chatty thing is nasty you see
      If makes her teeth go like she saw something scary
      And then she thinks she has some disease
      All blabber does is bring forth fleas..hahaha

      Delete
    20. I just wanted to let you both know, I've decided to become a mute.

      Delete
    21. Pfffffft riiiight
      That will be over before you check your alarm clock for the first time tonight
      See your none mute self in the morning at my sea
      Where you will blabber away with glee..haha

      Delete
  6. I will tie myself to someone whenever I taste frenchfry. Not ready for timetravel now. And tarsier and his pointy ears and eyes and his rhyming , would be better match for Yoda. hawker and head, this is what I love about goggles and helmet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Put a helmet on him
      And things may not seem so grim
      Those french fries can be bad
      So tie yourself down and you will be glad

      Delete
  7. I love your stuff even though I'm feeling rough. I can't wait to hear part four, if there isn't one... blame will fall... at your door? Best I can do Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha oh there will be a part four
      Here at my shore
      As the group goes to get rough
      And tell The Gawker they've had enough

      Delete
  8. Uhhh... Refresh my memory, here. You said you don't do drugs, right? Haha!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL just naturally high
      So my brain doesn't fry

      Delete
    2. just say nope

      so you don't end up dope

      Delete
    3. That's the way to be
      And nope is said by me
      A million times or more
      At my shore

      Delete
  9. Wish I could find some dust to make me rap...

    ReplyDelete
  10. "And the rest is a blur"
    that sentence is one of the mechanisms that wannabe writers use when they grow tired of their own story and don't know how to finish it :P I've read countless bad books in which they spend 40 pages describing the heroes adventure to reach his goal, and when he finally reaches it, they just say -and then all happened in a blur and he woke up with the battle finished, enemies slayed and with the princess in his bed :))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh don't worry the cat would never do that
      He always knows the ending at his mat
      Just one can't tell Blabber how she was saved just yet
      As things first have to happen to the pet
      I hate when they get lazy and do that too
      Just ruins the whole thing, sad but true

      Delete
  11. Big Action
    Big Drama
    Big Death
    Big Whoop.
    lol. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL just my luck
      You are quoting Puck

      Delete
    2. I knew you'd laugh at that
      for things stuck in my brain, I'm blaming you, pat.
      hahahaha
      It's enough to make me scream blue murder
      and yes, you are a crazy writer.

      Delete
    3. Having comment issues as you can tell.
      WTH?!
      ha.

      Delete
    4. hahaha so fun to get such things stuck in your brain
      Just to see you have to use them at my lane
      Scream blue murder hahaha that is good too
      All kinds of crazy things come/came due

      Yes I can tell
      As you try to ring the comment bell

      Delete
    5. haha a cartoon movie would be grand
      To show off my land

      Delete
  12. I read all Pat but I finish exausted, shampoo (you love this), fleas (lol)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was exhausted, too! ha.

      Delete
    2. oh, I'm still exhausted :) The cat needs to rub our feet after this :)

      Delete
    3. LOL yes love picking away
      Over the shampoo display

      Pfft you exhaused yeah right
      You'll just suck back another cup of coffee and your energy will be back at its height..haha

      Pffft rub your own feet
      That cat will even toss you a treat

      Delete
    4. a foot massage...my favorite
      thanks Dez for suggesting he do it!

      Delete
    5. Pffft go head and try
      The cat will claw away at each girl and guy

      Delete
    6. Cats don't pet us, we pet them, they've got us conditioned to serve them at will.

      Delete
    7. Exactly the case
      Anne knows her place..LOL

      Delete
    8. I like Dez's idea better.
      When he wakes up, I'm sure he'll agree
      it's better to rub our toes, you see
      and we'll let you do it for free!
      hahaha.

      Delete
    9. hell, I won't let him do it for free, he has to pay for us to let him rub our royal, in your case Betsy, or imperial, in my case, feet :) It's the biggest honour for any feline minion.

      Delete
    10. Pfft the cat will rub something against your feet
      I guaruntee you won't think it's sweet
      Would prob strick fear
      And I'd get more than an oh dear..haha

      Right! You can take your penguins and have them nip of your toes
      And let me know how that goes
      For you will truly waddle around
      Being all toe less bound

      Delete
    11. more than an 'oh dear'?
      something like "don't touch me with those bloody uglies!"
      lol.

      Delete
    12. LOL bloody hell
      You stole the line I was going to tell...haha

      Delete
    13. lol...so sorry I beat you to it.
      I've been reading all night and had to prove it!
      hahaha

      Delete
    14. haha that you did with ease
      Maybe even beatings those magic fleas

      Delete
  13. you cant trust a French canadian ? i think so too :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha glad you agree
      But that's with Drazin not me

      Delete
  14. Haha, chapter three was quite the see, magic dust to rap to, mohawks split, knowledge protected, but the Drazin and his magic french fry and his blaming french Canadians just takes the cake here- can't wait to see what chapter four has in store

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha yeah Drazin is quite the mook
      Those french fries might now may him puke
      That be nasty to see
      And magic dust getting a rap out of me
      Because of some flea
      Is a tad ummm crazy

      Delete
  15. a magic flea is not the solitary reason
    drazin can hold his own in any gosh darn season
    his view of the french not as sharp as his hook
    a flea on the knee and you knowthe tarsier is going to have a look
    blue murder sure is the thing to scream
    nothing more worrisome to me than the gawker's dream

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the godly one can hold is own
      Even if he likes to moan and groan
      With the view of a mook or something on par
      Yet he still gets pretty far
      The tarsier would eat the flea
      Then climb up a tree

      Delete
  16. Such good flow, a lyrical genius!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds like a plan to me
      As I rhyme day and night at my sea

      Delete
  17. Well jumping in in the middle of something is always a bad idea so I wont lie when I say I was lost but this was pretty frigin funny :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah in the middle one can get lost
      And it may cost
      But glad it was still funny
      As The Gawker and his eyeball is less than sunny

      Delete
  18. Pretty genius stuff, which I've come to expect from you already. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hopefully I can keep it up steady
      As my genuis seems at the ready

      Delete
  19. I actually feel like scrolling back and hearing the Tarsier Man's track but then sanity prevailed...LOL
    I always wondered where the 'eh? came from ...now I know! Saying nothing ..uh uh... hehe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha yeah those french brought forth the eh I say
      Causing me all the eh dismay
      Tarsier Man would like you to hear once more
      As he appreciates an encore

      Delete
  20. Magic dust? What kind of drug is that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha it is brand new
      It makes you rhyme without a clue

      Delete
  21. A flea on the knee... Hmm reminds me of the flea markets I go to when I visit Florida.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Flea markets in Florida give fleas?
      Remind me to protect my knees

      Delete
  22. # It does seem like a bad day at Hogwarts or something...
    It had me laughing for a big time :P
    your freaky crap is a treat 4 readers :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha had to throw in a reference or two
      And that one fit with such a freaky view
      Glad it's a treat
      As the readers come to take a seat

      Delete
  23. A flea on the knee?
    Could be worse, old chum.
    Instead of the knee
    A flea up your bum?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that would be worse
      Once would curse
      As they sat down
      Feeling their gifted flea bite crown

      Delete
  24. The eyeball bit gave me interesting mental images

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha be scary if it did not
      As images it gave to me a whole lot

      Delete
  25. Yikes for more fleas on the knee and the eyeball as big as basketball ~ Very imaginative Pat ~

    Have a good night ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The eyeball would be the worst
      Would sure be a scary burst..haha

      Delete
  26. Replies
    1. Glad you think so
      As I rhyme away at my show

      Delete
  27. Replies
    1. LOL that they are
      Sending people near and far

      Delete
  28. A flea is a hopper
    This is true
    But why does it have to be
    Shampoo times two?

    Everyone knows that shampoo times three
    Will bring you much further beyond the sea.
    Trust me, my friend, there will be no Gawkers
    But beware of the billions and billions of Facebook stalkers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow billions of Facebook stalkers
      Sure there will be some mighty big shocker
      Times three
      May delight the flea
      As then it would send them to timbukto
      A time or two

      Delete
  29. fleas on her knees--that does sound like quite the predicament LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yep quite the predicament indeed
      Of fleas one should always take heed

      Delete
  30. Unda da sea... unda da sea...~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now you got that song in my head
      Oh the dread

      Delete
  31. Replies
    1. Ummm never ever?
      That may be an ewww endeavor

      Delete
  32. Quite the tale lol, i can only imagine the Grammer Nazi in Bangcock, spelling intentional. I will resist the urge to crack any more jokes. You should market that dust, i think a lot of politicians and bankers would happily snort it, imagine the rhymes they would spout, from the snout as the voters and customers pout. Certainly it would be more interesting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL well you won't make me choke
      As that was set up for such a joke
      Hmm I could get rich
      But giving the politician the rhyming twitch
      Maybe I should market it
      Might be quite the hit

      Delete
  33. Give me some of that dust the next time I write an essay, I need all the help I can get.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha a rhyming essay would be fun
      Not sure you'd get a good grand though for such a run

      Delete