We peered through the bushes to find, let's call her Irish Air, out in the middle of nowhere. She was sucking back the liquor and beating her drums quicker and quicker. The mountain of empty bottles piled high would be enough to make any normal person die. I guess she could suck it back well and we sat and watched for a spell. Drazin had enough and Pat, still thinking he was Zeus, also wanted to get rough. They were going to make her talk assuming she was somehow part of The Gawker's freaky flock. The pair leaped into the clearing while Miss Priss and I remained peering.
"Drazin wants to know how Drazin gets out of this hell hole. Tell Drazin now!"
"I will smite thee with the power of thunder if you don't talk wench."
She looked over the pair and seemed not to care, taking another swig of her liquor and I think I heard her snicker.
"Bugger off you eejits."
Drazin and Pat did not seem to like that. They circled to either side and Irish Air just smiled wide. She flicked the end off her drum sticks and stopped playing her music mix. They were like mini swords, making Pat and Drazin stop moving towards. Her eyes grew big as she once more too a swig, calling the pair names I care not to repeat. For it seems we stopped her beat and it was the only thing keeping the glowy eyed freaks away. They howled and circled above us having their say.
"Mess with an Angry Lurker and you'll become a Gawker worker."
"The Gawker's right hand Waffle will do things to you that are awful."
"Go near bathtubs and you'll be drowned by Shockgrubz."
"With all this rhyming Drazin is sure you feel right at home fleabag, but Drazin thinks it's time Drazin got out of here."
"What? A god afraid of a few freaks?"
Irish Air sighed and Miss Priss tossed her another bottle as she smiled wide. She then sucked the liquor back and went back on the drumming attack. The poor glowy eyed freaks flew off out of sight. Add another weakness that causes them a fright. Pat still tried to hurl imaginary lightning bolts their way, it was quite the nutty display.
Irish Air screamed as she played not wanting the drumming to fade. It turns out she and her drums had been sucked into this place by some nosey neighbor not liking the drumming coming from her space. She found this huge supply of liquor and heard the glowy eyed freaks bicker. So she played away and has been doing so night and day. Irish Air was not going to let those buggers win as long as she had some gin. She thought we were crazy eejits for going to face The Gawker, that was no shocker. Irish air offered to help should we find a way to stop The Gawker from causing dismay. But she was not about to leave her liquor stash until we had a plan that would not get her turned to ash.
I whacked Pat and he stopped his imaginary fight and off we went as day became night. Drazin let his red eyes glow and he does make a pretty good flashlight just so you know. We followed a path hoping not to suffer any glowy eyed freak wrath, looking back we may have been better off for we heard something that sounded like whooping cough. Pat immediately snapped back to normal wishing for the paranormal, as his OCD took control and he did not want those germs to take a stroll.
It came from all directions as out popped this Besercules nut saying how he had connections. We could join him and his army of apes or be squashed like grapes. Pat gave a sigh of relief no longer having his OCD cause him grief. Drazin smacked Bersercules upside the head and shaked his hand as it turned red.
"That's right. The ape king has powers too. Join or die!"
"Listen you George of the Jungle wannabe. Take your Dr. Fate helmet and shove it up your gazoo because we aren't joining a bunch of damn dirty apes."
Of course normal Pat had to go and antagonize the self proclaimed king of the apes. Why couldn't he have thought he was the inventor of grapes? This was not good, as the apes came out holding sticks of wood. They swung them like a bat and I can tell they wanted to squash us flat. Stupid Merlin was going to pay for this as the apes started to swing, and thankfully, miss.
"These guys must have taken baseball lessons from Michael Jordon."
"Good one fleabag but Drazin is tired of all this monkeying around."
Drazin gave a smirk as he grabbed their stick and threw one to Pat, he grabbed another and the pair beat the apes back, to the delight of the cat. Of course Besercules could not keep his big trap shut and howled out into the night like some nut. Apes twice the size of those we just fought off came out and then Besercules started to cough. Pat curled up his nose and it even curled Drazin's toes. Besercules looked to have been bombarded by, well, poo and a small tarsier quickly came into view. Thankfully it was not that superhero nut or we all would have kicked his butt. He twirled up on the tree branch, making fun of Besercules and his ape ranch.
We had no idea what that tarsier was trying to prove. But before Miss Priss and I could move, we were snatched up by some jungle creature who swung down on a vine grabbing us like it was out of some Tarzan feature. It even got us across the creek and sent a vine to Pat and one to Drazin as he continued with his third person speak.
"Have fun with your apes. Drazin thinks you fit right it."
"Shut up, demon. We need to continue our quest."
Pat, once more thinking he was King Arthur, pushed Drazin across the creek and then he swung behind the third person talking freak. Which one was more of the nut was beyond my little rhyming butt. The tarsier was already on our side and we all smiled wide, as Besercules shook his fist while the apes behind him looked over their wrist.
The tarsier jumped on the shoulder of the jungle creature and it turned out not to be a Tarzan feature. Drazin let his eyes glow and we got a good look. It turns out a woman got us across the nook. Miss Priss seemed proud as she was always surrounded by a male crowd and found this just grand. I just wanted out of this land.
"Well if you guys aren't kept around for your abilities and it surely it isn't for your looks, why do I keep putting up with you."
"Shut up, fleabag."
"I believe because thou art fed."
All hope that wild jungle girl knew the way out quickly ended as she gave us a shout. She did seem delighted to have some company at last but after hearing Drazin I think that faded fast.
"Did you bring the shampoo?"
"It's flea on the knee girl."
"I will smite the flea, point thee out."
"Just what Drazin needs a crazy jungle blabbermouth runt."
Before we could get into anything the tarsier's ears gave a ring. Blabber dashed off into the jungle as we heard some glowy eyed freaks shouting out some weird rumble.With another Drazin mumble we wasted little time following her through the jungle and trying not to stumble. Pat muttered something about the Holy Grail, as the glowy eyed freaks were hot on our trail.
For an island in the middle of nowhere is sure does seem more like a carnival fair. I suppose that is what one gets from so much isolation. Part three will come some cat time same cat station. So until then we'll follow that Blabber lass and I'll keep on rhyming away with my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.