Saturday, March 31, 2012

Ode To 24 Here At My Shore!

The following takes place between 11 AM and 12 PM or 11PM and 12 AM.
(The cat can't tell those M's, don't condemn.)
On the day of the who really gives a strat. When all goes wrong for the cat.

11:00

An army of creatures had gathered outside bush number three. I guess they were getting ready to attack me. They were fed up with me showing fried squirrel, giving rat burgers a whirl, showing the dead Easter Bunny and the mutts did not think the constant butt sniffing cracks were funny.

So they sat and yapped about avoiding my traps thinking they were quite clever gals and chaps. But they forgot one thing, the stench with them that they bring. I could smell them a mile away and watched as these nuts were in complete disarray.

I began to hum the Jeopardy tune, thinking I would be here until June waiting for them to attack, for brain cells they seemed to lack. And they wonder why the cat makes fun. At least there was no ruler totting nun. That might give me a scare, as she could slap my knuckles bare.

11:11

Nothing more happened at all. I did think I heard a moose call.

11:18

The same stuff occurred as before. By now I was yawning at my shore.

11:21

I went and used the loo. I got something to eat too.

11:26

I gave myself a good cleaning bottom to top. Yeah, I did it backwards. So call a cop.

11:30

They looked like they were going to move. But I guess the mutts seemed to disapprove. They trotted off marking each tree. Do they every run out of pee? Yes, they sniffed each others behind too. This just proves what I always say is true.

11:36

They asked the bunny for his two cents and they noticed how he remained quite dense. They nudged him a bit and he did not budge. You think maybe he died eating all that fudge? Or was it someone with a car? Damn, for a dead guy he can sure travel far.

11:44

The squirrels got antsy being away from their nuts, desperately wanting to fill their guts. So they went and chewed on a power line. Fried squirrel sure can shriek and whine.

11:53

The mice finally made up their mind. I think three of them were actually blind. They ran across the field and shouted how they would never yield. They approached me rather fast, their little band of rebels were quite vast. I rolled around on the grass as they continued to trespass and when they were in reach, they also started to screech.

For with one swipe I learned they were rather ripe. I gobbled down many of the mice and even chewed some twice. The blind ones tasted kind of funny, maybe it was that added sprinkle of bee honey. What? I need to add some spices to my meal. It makes them taste all that more real.

11:59:51

The final Face it Facts were that I began picking some leftover parts from my fur. I know not as exciting as Jack Baur but at least the cat has the power, to go to the loo. I think he wears a diaper. Come on, it has to be true. I then rubbed my belly and passed some gas and that was the oh so exciting 24esq tale from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

79 comments:

  1. 11:00
    Writing a paper.
    11:30
    Writing a paper.
    11:31
    It's coffe time.
    11:35
    Writing a paper.
    11:40
    Writing a paper.
    11:41
    'I'm Optimus Prime'
    ...
    what?
    I barely can think
    No coffe to drink
    I feel like a log
    It's time to blog!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let me guess from that
      You were writing a paper at your mat?
      Sounds like tons of fun
      So yeah some blogging must be done

      Delete
    2. Pffft you ain't seen nothing yet
      So go ahead and fret

      Delete
  2. I love the concept of this Pat. It's definitely another winning premise by yourself, this awesome stuff is good for my health!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad it keeps you healthy and maybe even wise
      Now if only one could win a prize..haha

      Delete
  3. i dunno you might have got it right, eat first so you taste something other than your own butt when you clean and such, and how sad for the sqirrel, i consider them friends and not extra crispy but i guess we all meet our ends...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha yeah that is a good way to do it
      For at least it gives the cat some extra spit
      Those squirrels are rather dumb
      They should know chewing on wires will make them go numb

      Delete
  4. i like 11.44 :)
    it's like having really hot tea and burning your tastebuds for a bit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha I suppose that would compare
      Not sure it should be tried at any lair

      Delete
  5. Nice to have a moment by moment account!
    I'd hate to miss anything.......tee hee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha that cat will tell all each time
      For not to would be a crime

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. An awesome today
      As come my way

      Delete
    2. Has come my way
      R is got me so riled up with his display

      Delete
  7. "An army of creatures had gathered outside bush number three"
    oh, hell, Skipper, Rico and the rest of you, we're spotted, mission aborted, I repeat, abort mission! Damn, it, Kowalski, leave that Pringles can, and abort the mission! Abort!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO I guess they finally heeded your call
      For there was no fried penguin at my hall

      Delete
    2. me is leaving the penguins without the sardine supper today! That's the punishment for failed mission... we was so gonna leave you an elephant poop in your toaster :) Kowalski pressed it and made it into a thin poopish sheet so that the poop would pop out of your toaster and you would think you have a piece of salami on your toast :) 'tis the first cunning plan Wyle E. Coyote came up with for us :)

      Delete
    3. And plan number two is beginning to stew. I will say only this much, if a mouse tastes "off" it probably contains "substances" fed to said mouse by the Alliance. Hope you enjoy the pretty colors you'll be seeing soon!!

      Delete
    4. Well that is your first mistake
      Using that coyote to let a plan bake
      See I told you he couldn't beat me
      So go back to the drawing board and the poor penguins get no fishy
      So sad
      Too bad

      The pretty colors came out the other end
      It was a delightful trend
      Nice little colorful bubbles floated through the air
      All over my lair

      Delete
    5. blame not the Coyote, his plan was ingenious, blame Skipper and his crew who failed to fulfil it :( I'm considering giving the raccoon crew a chance, they are faster than penguins.

      Annzie, he will be seeing all colours of rainbow soon ;)

      Delete
    6. ps me is wearing a gas mask in order to survive the second part of Pat's last comment :)

      Delete
    7. hahaha maybe that is why the penguins failed at your scheme
      They thought it was all a dream
      When the pretty colored bubbles floated through the air
      And they ran away after such an affair

      Delete
  8. Replies
    1. I guess I shall have a nice day
      Here at my bay

      Delete
  9. I couldn't help but crack up when you said do dogs ever run out of pee. LMFAO It's true though! Every little spot that they didn't mark, has to get sprayed. hahahaha

    I'm being an awful 24 watcher, but I did watch enough to get the concept. The show was a tad bit more dramatic, but you're just a cat, so what did we expect?? lol!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahaha yep they can't miss a spot
      Whether outside it is cold or hot
      Have to sniff and sniff then let loose some pee
      On every single thing they see
      Not sure how they do it
      If I had to go that many times I'd never get anything done, not one bit..haha

      LOL well if you want the cat to be more dramatic he could be
      But then going on some murder spree
      Or blowing things up and kidnapping people as well
      Might get the cat damned to Hell..haha

      Delete
    2. LMAO I told the wiener pooches what you said. They weren't very happy. Then they peed. hahahaha I kid, I kid.

      No, please. The cat is DRAMATIC enough. hahaha

      Delete
    3. hahahahaha figures they would pee
      I hope at least they didn't do it on thee
      Sure by now they've done it on a tree
      For all to see

      Even capitilizied it for me
      I guess being dramatic goes both ways at bush number three..haha

      Delete
  10. At 10:38...reading Pat's blog post and comments

    At 10:40...publish my comments :-)

    At 10:41...will visit other blogs ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha see you got it down pat
      You could easily do one just like the cat

      Delete
  11. Sounds like 60 minutes instead of 24 hours
    but you really were a little like Bauer!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I figured doing all 24 hours would bore
      For not that much went on that day at the cat's shore

      Delete
    2. yeah, the rest would be filled with cat naps galore
      and more licking at their shore.
      Although the tp and catnip could take up some time
      and birdwatching through the window, so sublime.
      ha.

      Delete
    3. Yeah the tp takes quite a while
      As the cat chases that a good long mile
      The birds he likes to watch too
      Even though here there are few

      Delete
  12. I see the three blind mice got in on the act. Now I'm going to have "Three Blind Mice" stuck in my head. Well, at least the other song that's been in there for about a week is finally out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See I change it up each week
      Next time I'll row row a boat up a creek..haha

      Delete
  13. Jack Bauer would approve

    of this story with a groove

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hopefully he wouln't torture or shoot me after that
      I don't want to be a dead cat

      Delete
  14. "I gave myself a good cleaning bottom to top. Yeah, I did it backwards. So call a cop."
    This one was very clever,
    to rhyme like you shall now be my endeavour.
    I am amazed at how got you rhyme,
    and even though for you it takes a lot of time
    I love to read your blog; infact it's more than fiNe.

    Ah almost did it,
    but for now I'll quit it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It takes no time at all
      Here at my hall
      An yep so close at my sea
      To rhyming everything like me
      But very good none the less
      That I will easily confess

      Delete
  15. Those three blind mice seemed to cause you some strife. And dogs smelling arses can hardly compare to a Cat who licks his own then works upwards towards his own face. Oooh you stinky Cat, you licked your arse before you cleaned your paws.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those mice were a pain to pass
      They gave me some extra gas
      Those dogs go right up ones gazoo
      Turning them kind of blue
      I just like to clean the goo first
      And then quench my thirst
      Then clean the rest
      I still pass the cleaning test

      Delete
    2. ewww, Cat, that's seriously disturbing :) If Betsy was here she wouldn't mind, but me is all shaking and my eyes might just burst :)

      Delete
    3. haha bah your eyes have seen worse
      As you seem to like the perverse
      Looking at pictures of Pat's butt
      While he shaved his legs like a nut

      Delete
    4. what? who shaved his legs?

      Delete
    5. LOL Dez had has an imaginary image of Pat doing that
      I guess his penguins were spying on him at his mat

      Delete
    6. Betsy, Pat has showed me his hairy white bum, and now spreads lies about me being perverse, as if me was asking to see what I saw :(

      Delete
    7. You were the one there looking in the first place
      Should give Pat and the cat their space..haha

      Delete
  16. Replies
    1. Back once more
      Saying the same thing at every shore

      Delete
  17. Haha, I thought I'd be out of the loop with the title route. Never saw that show, nope, too much into watching it, I did get the time markings though, as My parents sat up until four am many nights watching the seasons in a row on netflix. I'd go to bed around 11 and then wake up middle of the night and found out the were still locked in on their 24 flight. Nope, wasn't about to get sucked into that, I've an addictive personality and that's why I parted ways with a bunch of things, RPG's for one, just wasn't getting anything done, so 24, nope. But I was able to get the tribute, to some extent. Some funny as heck lines in here, first, what do moose sound like, seriously? Second, the blind mice taste was classic. Three, maybe it's just me, but food and loo just doesn't sound tempting. But the call a cop- that cracked me up. Funny stuff, those animals should've known better too.

    And back to the 24 tribute: If I were to do one, which would be completely off base, seeing of course all Iv'e seen is from quick glimpses at the screen. I'd flash those numbers(times) and I'd show that red haired girl with those weird grins, seems like every time I looked, there she was with that look. Anyhow, maybe it's me, perhaps I'll go eat a tree, and join the mutts in a barking spree

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never got into 24?
      Geesh you should do so at your shore
      It's only eight seasons to get through
      So you should be able to give those a view
      But once you start and get hooked on it
      Might cause your addictiveness a fit
      I agree with the rpgs though
      I had to give them the heave ho
      Chloe might be the one you speak off with the same look
      She always had the same one at the 24 nook
      A moose sounds like umm beats me
      Have never heard one at my sea

      Delete
  18. Yes, dogs always have to mark a spot,
    It's why I'm always going for a trot.
    I don't complain about this, Pat;
    the smell of pee keeps away all cats.

    =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL that is just so mean
      And how obscene
      But this cat will come and not run away
      He isn't afraid of a pee display

      Delete
  19. It is good
    Says Crack You Whip
    To eat blind mice
    With a specific ranch dip.

    Fun stuff Pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never tried them in dip
      They give me lip
      So I have to eat them fast
      But maybe the dip would make them last

      Delete
  20. Looks like you had busy day and that log looks impressive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha and that was just an hour
      In the life of the cat being a wannabe Jack Baur

      Delete
  21. "I went and used the loo. I got something to eat too."

    That totally cracked me up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well it gave the cat room
      So he had to chow down before giving those animals their doom

      Delete
  22. No spring fling for me, its Autumn here =/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess there have a nice fall
      Bounce around like a ball

      Delete
  23. Replies
    1. I am talented aren't I?
      You should give it a try

      Delete
  24. "So they went and chewed on a power line. Fried squirrel sure can shriek and whine."
    I'll never look at the squirrels outside my window the same way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha glad I could open your eyes
      To the squirrels and their lies

      Delete
  25. I've never seen 24 but howled through the whole tribute, especially the fried squirrel bit and backwards bath, ick; you're a superstar.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I made you howl I say
      LOL that is too funny at my bay
      A superstar too
      I hope that is true

      Delete
  26. Replies
    1. Did you sit right up in your chair
      With all the suspense from my lair

      Delete
  27. Ah, the mundane life of a cat. I'm a bit envious.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah so is Pat
      As he has to work while I'm a lazy cat

      Delete
  28. Nice Post :D I came across your blog via the A-Z Challenge and I now follow your blog. You can check mine out at http://yadinbromberg.blogspot.com

    Thanks and good luck with A-Z :)

    Cheers!
    -Yadin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I will check all from a to z
      That come to my hall to see

      Delete
  29. Never liked 24, but interesting!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never liked 24
      Pffft you are banned from my shore

      Delete
  30. 11pm to 12am is night to early morning
    11am to 12pm is morning to noon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks or clarifying that
      For the cat

      Delete