Monday, March 5, 2012

The Tables Are New! Whatever Will Flappy Do?

How dumb can a human really be? I mean there has to be a point when you can't look in the mirror anymore at your sea. Or maybe that point is long past and she thinks her brain cells are vast. For she forgot all about how dumb she knew she was before and now gives the same damn encore. How she ever sells her stuff is beyond me too. Actually they probably buy it to get her to shut up as Flappy is that coo coo.

"Did you get new tables in here? It looks like you got new tables in here. The chairs are different too."

This came to her after the night was over too. I guess she finally had time to stop flapping and take in the view.

"They roll don't they? I'm sure they roll. They roll don't they?"

There always seems to be an echo around when she makes a sound. But Pat just wanted Flappy to leave and shut her yap. Yet she continued to flap.

"The chairs are nice chairs. I never had such a nice chair at the other place. The tables are kind of smaller, but they roll don't they? I'm sure they roll."

"That's why they have wheels!"

She once more ignored Pat and tried to move the nearest table across the mat. But Flappy could not do such a thing letting her arms fling. She made a constipated face as she tried to push too. Why couldn't she just take her crap and go home to her loo?

"This chair is nice and moves. This table has to move. It has wheels, it has too."

No shit! That's what Pat just said you dimwit. She bent down with her ass in the air. If Pat didn't mind getting sued or fired or put in jail, he would have kicked it without even a dare. She then brought her head up and hit it on the table, thinking them moving was now just a fable.

"The wheels must be for show. They can't move, I tried they just can't move."

Flappy didn't even blink when she hit her head which just goes to prove what I've always said. She has nothing much up there to hurt, nothing but a mound of dirt. Why the hell did she have to move them anyway? Just to prove they could do such an act at Pat's work bay? If something has wheels wouldn't anyone with half a brain assume that it could move with ease? Between Flappy's ears there has to be an ever flowing breeze.

"I know the thing has to move. But they can't move. I know it has to move."

A prime example of contradicting one's self can be found with Flappy at Pat's work shelf. She finally packed up all her stuff, blithering on with her same old huff and puff. Then as she had it all sat down on a table and ready to go. Pat flicked the switch on the wheel down below. She went to grab her stuff and the table moved forward on her a bit. That's when her eyes bcame lit.(Yes, Pat could not help himself and it had to be done. Even though he wanted Flappy to scram and stop letting her mouth run.)

"I knew they moved. Maybe that other one is defective. I think you have a defective table, you should call the company and get them to replace it. See this one moves just like this."

As she yapped Pat flicked the switch with his foot once more. She then stopped and went to move the table across the floor. She struggled and pushed a bit and then had her same old fit.

"I know it moved, you saw it right? It moved, these tables move. The tables have to move, it just moved."

Pat shrugged and turned the lights off one by one, letting her know her flapping was done. She grabbed her stuff and left in a huff. But Pat did not care as he had enough. Although it was fun making her go nuts over a table moving or not. Even though she sounded like a damn repeating robot. Small things amuse small minds I guess. Flappy's mind is truly a mess. I wish she'd go rent another class so I would never have to again repeat such tales here with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

106 comments:

  1. Awesome stuff buddy, Flappy's mind certainly is a mess haha!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep one big mess
      I think each week brains cells she has less and less

      Delete
  2. oh Pat's more than a little annoyed here :p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL just a little bit
      Would be show much better if I could kick out the dimwit

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. LOL it is real
      Although I wish it was a fake deal

      Delete
  4. Flappy was an ass and was headed off and sent to the pass!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish I should have gave it a kick
      Or a whack with a big stick

      Delete
  5. aw poor flappy with whom you mess, minds in the pudding, a bearded man in a dress, but she's enough to make you cuss

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL a bearded man in a dress
      May be brighter I must confess
      Still might cause a fuss
      Either way I'll cuss

      Delete
  6. So wait, were the tables able to move or not? LOL!! Kidding...

    Poor Flappy, she was just a little confused. You should have shown her the super secret button and explained to her how it worked. Then at least you would only have to listen to yourself and not her. Why did she want to move them anyway? Was she going to go for a joy ride down the hallway on the table???? hahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL well you wouldn't have to move them anyway
      You could stand up straight and walk right under them at your bay..hahahaha

      Then I would have had to listen to her whine about stupid buttons and how they shouldn't be there
      And blah blah blah at my work lair
      So I'd rather confuse the dimwit
      Beats the heck out of me, I don't know one bit
      I guess she just wanted to see them move some way, shape or form
      To know that it's the norm
      God only knows
      I wouldn't put it past her and as down the hall she goes
      I'd shove her right out the door
      And lock it forever more..hahaha

      Delete
    2. Dammit w/ the short jokes!! LOL Just b/c I was shorter than Elmo...hahaha

      I guess it could be like mattress surfing down the stairs, except with a table. Although a table is harder than a mattress. Maybe you should advise her not to do that. Unless she lands on her rump...but is she skilled enough to pull that off?!

      Delete
    3. hahahahaha I only do it because I know you never get short with me
      For you can take the long and short of it at my sea..hahahaha

      LOL well see does have a rather large rump
      So I'm not sure it would hurt her if she came down with a thump
      We have a huge staircase here too
      Maybe that's something she'll do
      And smack her head right into the wall
      As she reaches the end of the auditorium stair hall..hahaha
      No door like Home Alone
      So she can't go right out the door, which might make her groan

      Delete
    4. Look at you rolling over laughing from saying the word short. Hmph. LOL

      Or maybe Flappy wanted YOU to go for a joyride across the hallway and down the stairs right into the door. Omg! You best watch out! hahaha

      Delete
    5. LOL I laughed so much I was short of breath too
      But that is all the shortness I will due

      LOL suddenly Creepy Cupid is sounding much much better to me
      She comes near I will flee..haha

      Delete
  7. I even prefer Drazin to this Flappy twit!

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    Replies
    1. LOL especially since Drazin is fiction
      And she actually suffers from the dimwit confliction

      Delete
  8. how can you replace the tables and not consult Dezz your own interior designer? It's a crime, I say, a crime.. and a scandal too! Intergalactic one... and a timeless crime... defying space and logic...

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    1. LOL well don't tell me that
      I didn't even know at my work mat
      Came in from the weekend
      And they had new tables their going around the bend
      So you should lecture them on not consulting you
      And give them a smack down from your penguin crew
      I promise I won't get in the way
      Just make sure their still able to push the button so I get my pay..hahaha

      Delete
  9. First thing I thought was "oh good, a Flappy story"
    as she invades your work territory.
    Does make for some hilarious posts
    from you the rhyming host.
    But I have a question, too.
    How does her class look to you?
    After spending an evening listening to her yap
    have their eyes glazed over, ready for a nap?
    Do they look like they want to scream
    and go let off some steam?
    Maybe throw something far
    as their tension begins to soar?
    I can't imagine having to be taught by her
    and I know it would ruffle your fur!
    hahaha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you see, Pat, Betsy wants to ruffle your fur. I've told you that you two should just get a room :)))

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    2. Oh gosh, Dez. You're going to get it from the cat.
      He'll send Flappy over there and on you she will sat.
      hahaha.

      Delete
    3. I'd prefer if she'd go the hell away
      And stop causing dismay
      Her class actually look pretty awake
      And I think eat from the same stupid cake
      But then one of them is her sister with a big bum
      And the other is her mom
      Some left and come another night on their own
      Because they couldn't stand her flappy moan
      Pfffft I'd be long gone
      Not that I'd ever want to sell her crap going lawn to lawn

      Dez is just jealous that the only things that will talk to him are fowl
      He can't even get a dog to howl
      Or hump his little leg
      No matter how much he tries to beg..LOL

      That work well?
      Now I'll send Flappy to cause him more hell

      Delete
    4. So the class has become a family affair?
      They are the only ones that could bear
      listening as she sells her wares.

      So it's jealousy!
      That makes sense to me.

      Yes, that works very well
      but I'm sure Dez won't think it's swell!
      lol.

      Delete
    5. Yeah and they are almost as annoying as her
      With their fake fur
      And other crap
      And deserve a shut the hell up slap
      But she takes the cake
      And needs to be beat over the head with a rake..haha

      Poor Dez will justhave to suck it up
      Or get some advice from a butt sniffing pup..haha

      Delete
    6. A "shut the hell up" slap.
      lol.

      Some time you should do a post
      on all the kinds of slaps from your host.

      Delete
    7. LOL the cat could get slap happy
      On all of those who get yappy

      Delete
    8. Oh, the cat is too sweet
      to slap all the creeps
      it's more fun to give a funny post
      from you the host!

      Delete
    9. I suppose it can be for the cat
      But not for Pat..haha

      Delete
    10. you see, I can't leave you two for more than half a day and you start using coded language about slapping eachother's bums and stuff... you two are naughtier than Dezzy actually :) I can't even imagine what kind of costumes you two wear while talking about this slapping business.....

      Delete
    11. Oh Dez.
      you made me laugh so hard I forgot my rhyme
      I'll come back another time.
      lol....

      Delete
    12. LOL Oh the penguin man seems to think he is funny
      Maybe I'll send him that chicken humping bunny
      Penquin is still a bird
      It could mistake him for a chicken and have him singing to his penguin herd

      Delete
    13. so what would that be called?
      chenguin?
      Penken?
      Since it's still a bird
      that bunny would love the new herd. flock? hmm.
      Yes, that would serve him right
      for flapping his jaws all night.
      lol.

      Delete
    14. Chenguin sounds grand
      It may even have an extra hand
      The bunny would give it some lovin' with ease
      And I'm sure Dez would love it as he scratched his fleas

      Delete
    15. Oh Dez is going to love this
      he might even let out a hiss.
      Does he have fleas?
      oh me, oh me.

      Delete
    16. hahaha Dez cannot win
      Here at my bin
      He better just accept that
      And bow to the cat

      Delete
    17. bow to the cat?
      Oh, I can't imagine that.
      He'll send the penguins after you
      and then send them to my zoo!
      ha.
      What do penguins eat?
      I'll be sure to bribe them with a treat.

      Delete
    18. bow to the cat? How on Earth do you expect from a penguin to bow? We can't even bend our necks, and how would we bend our whole bodies? And last, and the first time, we had fleas was when you last time came over to visit us and left us itching presents after which we had to burn the guest chambers (I mean for the fleas and for those SM costumes your Slapping Naughtiness left there accidentally).

      Delete
    19. LOL not sure what they eat
      But he will suffer defeat
      Prob just fish
      To them would be a tasty dish

      You can fall down on your stomach and that will count
      Or I'll give you fleas in a huge amount
      Sorry for the burning that had to come due
      But I left those SM costumes at the request of you
      So don't go blaming the cat
      After you and your penguin lover had a spat..haha

      Delete
    20. if I fall on my stomach, I'll probably vomit some sardines at your face, but cats like sardines, yes, even when they are already digested? :)

      Delete
    21. LOL that is more of a dog thing to eat vomit
      Would give my ocd a fit
      And then I'd run away
      And leave you rolling on the ground at your bay

      Delete
  10. so this is what you do when it isn't Tuesday... really this is what you do... I can't believe this is what you do on a Monday... Really, LOL

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    Replies
    1. LOL I'll show what I can do
      Next Monday I'll rant about you..hahaha

      Delete
  11. Replies
    1. Great stuff?
      Want me to send Flappy to you in the buff?..lol

      Delete
  12. Poor Flappy! Wondering if she is the one you met in the grocery store the other week or if she is her clone!

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    Replies
    1. Nooo way what so ever
      That would just happen never
      Plus she's waaaay too old
      Still blah that could never take hold..haha

      Delete
  13. As I read this Pat, I got very, very angry with Flappy. I really wanted to kick her myself, I felt as though she was yammering away at ME.

    "Enjoy your winter, smash a printer" turned into "Enjoyed your fable, made me want to smash a table!"

    LOL

    Take care

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahaha oh that was a good ending to it
      I'd like to smash her head through a table a bit
      But that would do no good
      As it's made of wood
      Yeah it takes lots of will power not to tell her off or give her a kick
      Or hit her with a great big brick

      Delete
  14. Lol Pat the whole time I read this I wanted to deck flappy in the face with a 2x4. I dont know how you put up with people like that! More power to you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well it's either put up with these nutjobs or whack them and get fired
      But I admit they do make my ears tired..haha

      Delete
  15. Drazin is really fiction
    Suffers dim-wit affliction
    Flappy has made them angry
    But so he's a nobody

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Drazin take effort to be a dimwit
      Flappy just does it
      Needs a good smack
      For her dimwit attack

      Delete
  16. Man I never heard of a woman having such trouble with a table

    I guess she'd have trouble hooking up a printer cable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pffft don't even go there
      That's a whole other affair..haha

      Delete
  17. You should have just kept messing with her. Keep flipping the switch so the table moves and then doesn't, moves and then doesn't.

    "This table moved, right? RIGHT?" - said from her padded cell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha now that would be a good way to get rid of her
      Keep moving it until her eyes blur
      And then she'll commit herself to the loony bin
      That would surely be a win

      Delete
  18. hello, pat! the cool cat!
    the girl's so dumb that i want to have rum!

    hope all's well, and and farewell...
    (for now)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yes she is very dumb
      And would also drive me to rum with her hum
      If I still drank
      But that is long past due going in my tank

      Delete
  19. Oh that flappy just has no class, or, too much class for your little rhyming ass. No wonder it hurts my head when I bang it, 'cos, unlike flappy, there's something in it! Huh, huh, huh.... hehe
    Got me as crazy as U is ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She thinks she has too much class
      With her stupid sass
      Needs a kick to the ass
      Or get beat on by some other lass
      Or by a whole mass
      Then no more tales would come to pass
      As crazy as me is fun
      And just has to be done..haha

      Delete
  20. Flappy is really "special" Pat, have a nice day:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And when I said "special" you know that I want mean!! Pat (lol)

      Delete
    2. Yes very very special indeed
      See her coming take heed..haha

      Delete
  21. Flappy? Did you get a bird? You know, you really can't have a bird in the house. Especially if they hit their heads on your rolling tables. OK, crows are very smart, but they're bad omens. Let Pat eat the bird~ ;p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat would be the one to eat the bird
      Pat would this it was absurd..haha
      Nope no bird here though
      Unless you count Flappy the old hag at my show

      Delete
  22. he..he...she sounds like a nutcase..I am glad you got rid of her ~

    Happy monday to you :-0

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL she will be back
      Tomorrow night at my work shack

      Delete
  23. I wish there was a way you could keep her at bay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish there was a way
      I could kick her into a bay..lol

      Delete
  24. Poor Pat and poor cat. A table that won't roll.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it was such a big deal
      That the table wouldn't roll on each wheel

      Delete
  25. Replies
    1. Fun and delight
      Glad it's always the case at my site

      Delete
  26. Annoying as she is.. she uh, makes for a good story!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yeah after the fact
      A pain to the ears during the act

      Delete
  27. oh no, the return of the flappy show, damn the more and more she flaps away, the more and more dim she is seen, poor poor flappy amused easily so, she's the type of person that people pay you not to write the biography for. Feel for you that you have to deal with the flapping one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I'll take the pay
      Not to have my say
      At least then I'd get something for listening to her dimwit self
      At my work shelf
      It is quite the pain to have to deal with her indeed
      But out well least I can rant about it on my feed

      Delete
  28. Flappy was even aggravating me. Nonetheless, I had to laugh. I'm just not sure if was from the humor of the story or to cover up the pain I felt from Flappy's endless rambling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I wouldn't blame you if it was the pain from Flappy
      At least either way it wasn't sappy..haha

      Delete
  29. Replies
    1. Ending will always come due
      Here at my rhyming zoo

      Delete
  30. Wicked Pat :) I wouldn't have resisted the temptation either.

    .......dhole

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah had to give in a bit
      With that stupid Flappy nitwit

      Delete
  31. Dude,

    I don't know how you *do* it, but I'm glad you do:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just do it either way
      Not sure either but I just go with it at my bay..haha

      Delete
  32. Replies
    1. Flappy is quite yappy
      With her big trappy

      Delete
  33. but... the table moves right? I mean it has wheels.

    I think Flappy's mind is stuck in a loop

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You stuck in one big loop
      What little brain cells she has let that aren't goop

      Delete
  34. Winters almost over, and there's nearly nothing left of my printer. Need a new phrase for spring lol!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Already got the phrase
      Here at my maze
      But not spring yet
      So don't fret

      Delete
  35. I sense someone is about to use Flappy as a scratching post. :D

    Better Flappy than the sofa.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it does beat the sofa scratching
      I'll enjoy such an idea hatching

      Delete
  36. What an interesting table! Lol flappy cracks me up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Flappy sure liked that table
      Like to hang her with a cable..haha

      Delete
  37. Turning the lights off, i thought was a metaphor for a spinning heel kick to give her noggin a floggin
    but the best violence is the satirical kind

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh that would have been nice to do
      But I was the only one in view
      So would have got caught
      And flapped at a lot

      Delete
  38. HahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! LMAO. This proves that study I read about was right... dumb people are too dumb to know they're dumb. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL that is music to the ears of my rhyming bum
      The dumb are just to dumb to know their dumb
      I could say that over and over
      As Flappy is dumber than even the biggest butt sniffing rover

      Delete
  39. Lol sounds like flappy really liked that table!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes she had a thing for the table indeed
      Anyone sees her coming run and take heed

      Delete