Sunday, March 4, 2012

This Is Why You Remain Vague Or Suffer A Humilating Plague!

At least one thing those Mayans did was keep direct off the grid. Unlike many this day in age who think they are all the rage. The facts of this one are easy, as on Twitter you see lots of quotes that are cheesy. Never fear, I will not re-post them ones here, as you've probably seen them 50,000 times already. They do seem to show up steady. Instead I will give the stupidest best quotes ever from those who thought the were so clever.

"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" --H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.

Hmm I think he was on to something with most. I mean listening to Lindsay Lohan or Charlie Sheen boast, does make you wish they would shut the hell up. But still looks like he suffered a hiccup.

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." --Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

I knew there was a reason the cat was getting so strong. Lifting this laptop might just break my back if I move wrong. How all those business people do it is beyond me and they must be good at hiding 1.5 tons from all to see.

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." --The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

I knew there was a reason the best people were full of strat. I guess this just proves that. And who are the best people anyway? Sounds like a roadside cow had his say.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." --Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

Of course not! They grow to be too hot. Are you crazy! Computers in the home will make people lazy. We can't have such a thing. Especially with their awful Windows noises that go cling.

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." --Western Union internal memo, 1876.

How can you condone that damn telephone? It is so short and it helps you send a retort. Yeah, that is just so bad. Forget the telephone, Morse Code is rad.

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." --Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.

Heavier than air? I need to check this at my lair. I'm straining to lift air, oh my back might suffer a tear. Air is so heavy I can't believe it. Not to mention flying machines aren't real, nope not one bit. Strat! A poopsicle just came down from above. It wasn't left by an airplane, it was a fifty pound dove.

"Everything that can be invented has been invented." --Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.

Looks like the Jesus toasters really don't exist. The hoola hoop also didn't make the list. And you can forget about that car. Who cares though, as a horse and buggy can take you far.

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." -Albert Einstein

Hmmm this just sums it up so well. Can't say I disagree and it isn't even a tough sell. Plus the quotes before just proves that fact. You humans are a real class act. In stupidity that is, which is where you sure excel at your biz. That is humans as a whole, some refuse to take stupidity for a stroll. Unlike the above, as it fits them like a glove. Oh and nothing was invented so no lawn mower for your grass. You have to push the thingy and all the while you can curse my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

93 comments:

  1. The prophets of doom had their reasons
    They stifle progress,thinking they are smart
    Big businesses obviously felt threatened
    So they led us off right from the start

    Hank
    Wow.wee..first again!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very true
      Right from the start they had us in their view
      Leading the way they wanted us to take
      With all the stuff they say and make

      Delete
  2. Lord Kelvin might be smart but he should stick to temperature and math


    I guess horse and boat would only get him through his path.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not even sure he'd go for the boat
      Might go road and road in some moat

      Delete
  3. ha...i'm a fan of einstein...he was so down to earth in all his geniality...ha..and i'm a fan of that cat too..you know..she's clever..i like...smiles...have a lovely sunday pat..maybe i go and try to invent something in the afternoon..just to prove Duell wrong one more time..ha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah he was way more down to earth than most
      So is liked by this host
      Yes the cat is very clever
      And will stop rhyming never
      Invent something and prove Duell wrong
      Then you can also sing a song
      As you get rich
      Inventing a new umm ditch

      Delete
    2. ugh... i meant brilliancy - not geniality by the way.. thought it's the same as in german - but i see you understood me anyway.. smiles

      Delete
    3. Yes I understood what you meant
      Today under my tent
      I guess I'm just a smart cat
      Unlike that human Pat..haha

      Delete
  4. This stuff is hilarious man. Reminds me of when Sir Alan Sugar, the guy in the British Apprentice and rich businessman in his own right claimed that the iPod (and Apple in general I think), was a fad that nobody would remember by next Christmas, how wrong he was right?

    But yeah Pat, seriously awesome concept mate, I have no idea how you think up these ideas for something new and innovative every day. You're like the Iron Man of blogging.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yep very very wrong
      Bet now he sings a different song
      Probably let that Sir thing go to his head
      Or his brain is just dead
      The ideas just pop into my mind
      And I rhyme off my behind
      Iron man yippeee
      I can be a flying kitty..haha

      Delete
    2. iron man..yeah, you did that by lifting air
      or ton-bearing computers at your lair.
      ha.

      Delete
    3. hahaha that air was so heavy too
      It made me turn blue

      Delete
    4. well, at least it's your favorite color there
      now your face can match your shirt at your lair
      Better than green
      that would just be mean.
      yellow might be too mellow
      black would bring attacks
      pink might stink
      and bring you to the brink.
      hahaha.

      Delete
    5. Yes that last one would be the worst
      And I just may burst
      But I suppose
      It's better than being an oompa loompa at my show
      Or Tripit to
      But that you knew

      Delete
    6. or if an oompa loompa mated with Tripit
      that would really cause a fit!
      I wanted to use orange in my color burst
      but the rhyming words were zero and worse! ha.

      Delete
    7. Yeah the words with orange aren't easy to come by
      Some are just sad to give a try
      But orange is a great color too
      Almost up there with blue
      Depending on what you want to come due
      No mating between either of them though as that be a scary view

      Delete
    8. yeah, I'm sure we wouldn't want to see that
      there's enough scary things at your mat. ha.

      Delete
    9. hahaha yep very scary and more to come
      As a few new ones will come in Island of the Gawker pretty soon from my little rhyming bum..haha

      Delete
    10. Island of the Gawker?
      Must include a stalker.
      ha.

      Delete
    11. haha includes a Petsy too
      With quite the zoo

      Delete
  5. oy we have our doubters, and haters that can not dream or see beyond reality, maybe they want to stay, or maybe its all misdirection, as he developed ipad technology at his own discretion, any way you have to choose who to listen to, or you might get stuck too

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep they want to stay in their own little world they have made
      And derail any plans being laid
      Could be misdirection too though
      As they want it to grow
      So they bash it over and over again
      Then peek the interest of men
      Avoid the goo
      That can make you stuck too..haha

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. A friendly ghost
      Does make a nice post

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. The most right of the bunch
      The rest were out to lunch

      Delete
  8. Insulting the roadside cows as you go by?
    my oh my they might give you a kick as you pass by.
    or don't you have cattle? only moose
    they might hang you in a noose!

    No reason people would want a computer in their home.
    Wow...we have 6 laptops and 1 PC where I roam.
    Funny how they thought they would weigh a ton
    and never be owned by people and then some.

    Morse Code is rad.
    Now that had me giggling out loud a tad.
    omg, aren't you glad we don't have to learn that
    but you would probably be good at it, cat.
    would you use your tail
    or let your paws wail?

    Hey, this was really fun
    and no toilet humor..not even a bum.
    haha. you feeling alright? lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha we have plenty of cattle up here
      Pat used to have some living near
      They are safer than a moose
      But not more than a goose
      LOL well maybe all 6 and the pc would count as a ton
      So they were right in letting their mouth run
      Pretty bad the vision of some
      As now they sound as if they are talking out their bum
      LOL yeah it might be fun to learn
      Then the cat could rhyme and make all feel the burn
      With just a clickity clack
      Here at my shack
      He'd use his tail
      Then he would break a nail..haha
      Hmmmm didn't even know that
      Guess today I was an off cat..haha

      Delete
    2. So the cattle, they moo
      and honk goes the goose
      but tell me, what says the moose?

      Delete
    3. The moose ummm stands in the road and causes a boom
      As a car crash brings one doom

      Delete
    4. I knew that!
      But what sound does he make?
      Do they neigh, moo or crow?
      Honk, chirp, ribbit or bellow?

      Delete
    5. Ummm I think it be more of a moo
      That came due
      Never heard one though
      But it's some cross moo type thing that they let flow

      Delete
    6. a 'cross moo type thing'
      that they just let fling?
      I bet it's loud
      as the road they crowd
      just daring you to try to pass
      as they let you crash into their ass.
      ha.

      Delete
    7. haha yeah and the car is toast
      They just boast
      And walk off like nothing occurred
      While thanks to the airbag your vision is blurred

      Delete
  9. nice post
    few quotes are not valid today

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah few quotes are not valid indeed
      And make for fun at my feed

      Delete
  10. I don't know. That first quote has a bit of truth to it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it really does have some
      As many of them talk out their bum

      Delete
  11. you know, I often use that sentence of Albert's :) Almost on a daily basis, usually while watching MTV or news :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL well it would work concerning almost anything you see on there
      If not, the thing must be really rare

      Delete
  12. I mean...who would have thought that a telephone in someone's home would be something that became popular? Pshhh, not everyone's a blabber mouth like the catttt!!! hahahaha If this person ever heard of cell phones we may really be able to blow his mind.

    So everything that could be invented was in 1899? 1899?!?!?!?!?! Wow. Do you realize how we would be living if it was for that man. Well, at least we wouldn't all be dyeing of cancer. Then again, we may all be dyeing from things like a cold. Sigh...

    These are some genius quotes there, cat!! Seems like you know how to pick them ;) I think you should leave picking TheCracks for Pat, though. Just saying...hahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha takes a blabbermouth to know one
      Cell phones they would have really flipped their lid a ton
      Next it will be brains waves
      Just think of a person and we'll be able to call out to them in any caves..haha

      LOL the last 113 years or so
      Nothing new was invented at any show
      This is all just a dream
      We are really washing clothes in some stream
      True the cancer crap would be much less
      But there would be something else, like small pocks, leaving us in a mess

      The cat can pick
      Whether quote or flick
      But sense you have the great
      Walmarts down there as of late
      You can scout for that
      And I will be a grateful cat..hahaha

      Delete
    2. Using me for my vast crack knowledge? Not cool, cat!!! hahahaha (Minus 25 points.)

      Delete
    3. Jax...were you going undercover earlier today?
      haha.

      Delete
    4. hahaha I'll get those points back
      Meanwhile you'll go on the crack hunting attack..lol

      If so
      She needs to learn better undercover techniques to let flow..haha

      Delete
    5. LOL Yes, I was hiding from the cat!

      My computer broke...I'm on a loaner.

      Delete
    6. haha got your loaner did you
      How much begging did you have to do..haha

      Delete
    7. Not too bad. I just had to start fretting about "how am I going to do my school work". Then a quick flash of the puppy eyes, a quiet sniffle, and I was in!! Plus, I'm known to be Papa's favorite! hahaha

      Delete
    8. hahaha sounds like you have your act down pat
      To get what you want at your mat
      And of course being the favorite always helps too
      Just keep the coffee far far away from the laptop's view..hahaha

      Delete
    9. coffee killed your computer? oh no!

      Delete
    10. Hmmm I think it was clutsiness that killed the computer at her sea
      But we'll pretend it was the coffee..hahahaha

      Delete
  13. i have an indicting quote of my own. i wrote a business story in 2000 for the newspaper i worked for and, well, i always understood the slant that was popular at the paper. so in a story about digital media i quoted someone in authority who said something to the effect that "print is king." well, it might have been then, but the king be if not dead that whistling his last breath. we don't know much in this world and how things will unfold. and we sure forget. einstein got that right.

    how about an invention that will make us happy
    but won't bring us down
    that way the cat doesn't have to lift more than a pound
    i'm not talking about a new drug like the huey lewis song from the glorious 80s
    something that's for both the men and ladies
    of course i'm dreaming but that's what i do
    i couldn't resist ending this poem with the word poo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah at the time it does sound right
      At least some quotes that take flight
      But print is pretty much toast and dwindling away
      There will always be a little at play
      But nothing like it was before
      At any shore

      That would be a grand idea indeed
      Something that didn't rely on greed
      But that will prob never be the case
      And ending with poo works very well for my place..haha

      Delete
  14. humans are a real class act... sure they are :P
    we r the most comical species on earth.. aren't we ??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah not in a funny ha ha way most times either at our hall
      More like funny how we think we have a brain install
      But then do such stupid things
      Better off growing wings.

      Delete
    2. Love when you agree
      With me..haha

      Delete
  15. leave it to Einstein to hit the nail right on the head!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That he did indeed
      To the stupids and their greed

      Delete
  16. This entire post is full of awesome. Full of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad it was full
      Of awesome and not bull..haha

      Delete
  17. Hahahha, nice. Your posts Always makes me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad they are fun
      As I give the rhymes a run

      Delete
  18. yeah I've seen these and laugh every time I see them. I've read tons of inventing books and these authors all like to poster quotes like this through the books, acting as if they're trying to instill hope and inspiration into the reader but I think they're just trying to make their book longer so they can charge more. Yeah, those twitter quotes are endless, I can name a few handles in particular but I won't--it is amazing though how shortsighted and narrow minded otherwise intelligent people can be, kind of like the ancient person who said dogs and cats will never share a cave with a person. well, I made that up, but probably some grand puba or something way back when said something like that fun piece, makes you think of what else isn't possible to do, and perhaps then figure out how to do it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha many think they are smart
      And then suffer such a brain fart
      I suppose hindsight is twenty twenty though
      But still some are rather dumb with what they let flow
      And I'm sure that was sad of the dog and the cat
      Prob by some grand puba old bat
      Things do become possible as well
      Althougth sometimes they may be a tough sell

      Delete
  19. Replies
    1. haha might make some choke
      His not so jokey poke

      Delete
  20. Looking back at what some people predicted (including the never ending of the world prophesy) I have to laugh at how the paradigm has really shifted. What we could only dream before is now a reality. Thanks for digging out those quotes and naysayers ~

    Have a good Sunday Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Was such fun giving the naysayers a go
      And picking at them at my show
      Yeah things we couldn't wrap our minds around
      Have certainly become quite profound

      Delete
  21. Shortsightedness is almost as catchy

    and communicable as stupidity!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes it almost it
      But I don't think much can top the stupidity biz

      Delete
  22. That "fad" comment reminded me of Regis always saying the internet was just a fad too - then it was the cell phone, iPod, etc. LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL maybe they have the definition of "Fad" confused
      They must feel so used..haha

      Delete
  23. Einstein's quote reminds me of one by Harlan Ellison: “The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.”

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe all these smart guys
      Just thought they were so wise
      And the rest were dumb
      So they gave stupid a hum..haha

      Delete
  24. No more than 1.5 tons?
    I think they meant Oprah.
    No computers or fuss
    and certainly no Orca.
    (NOTE: Best I can do. Not much rhymes with 'Oprah.')

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wouldn't want to rhyme much with Oprah either at my hall
      And Orca works better than an inflated fat ball
      More of a fuss
      And prob lead to a cuss
      Then a computer every will
      Once she tries to give you her fill

      Delete
  25. Ah, there are always naysayers out there who pooh pooh the new to try to keep the old. A computer of 1 1/2 tons??? How about a couple of pounds?? Whoever said these things is probably rolling over in their graves or would be if they knew. Good post, Pat. Sorry I'm a bit late today, but better late than never. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bah a little late
      Gets no hate
      As you opened the gate
      And commented on my plate..haha
      Yeah I'm sure they are rolling quite a bit
      And throwing a rather large fit..haha

      Delete
  26. We're still saying "there is nothing new under the sun." Especially as writers. I still have hopes to see a flying car and space travel as a vacation option in my future. Progress does not end, it just adapts. Like us humans :)

    I enjoyed seeing a glimpse of the past. Who knows what "they" will be saying about our current society in 200 hundred years - if the Mayans are proved incorrect.

    ........dhole

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh the mayans will be proved dead wrong
      And the world enders will have to sing a different song
      The flying car I don't know if that will ever come due
      But the space travel I think will ensue
      And yep adapts indeed
      Even if set by those over greed

      Delete
  27. Holy cow, you've got talent. You've got yourself one new follower!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As long as I'm not a cow
      Or a reality tv show some how
      Then the cat is good with that
      Here at his mat..haha

      Delete
  28. Haha, yeah. A lot of famous people are good at being vague... ><

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some are pretty damn good at it
      These ones not even a bit

      Delete
  29. Reminds me of that guy who predicted the date of the Rapture, twice...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And twice it was a fail
      With his wail

      Delete
  30. Then on the flip side, accurate predictions such as geostationary orbits are awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True I suppose there is a flip side
      The increases humanity's stride.

      Delete
  31. I read somene is suing those things that are too heavy to fly because a poopsicle that is too heavy to fly , agreed and dove to earth, splattering him and his wife with strat or strit
    either way he is not a happy bunny

    a happy man, should not enc0unter stuff from the can, that falls from impossible heights
    it covered his yard, so says this bard
    it looked and it smelled like...
    shi.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha I'd sue too
      There has been cases when death came due
      As the poopsicle fell on their head
      And they were dead

      Delete