Monday, April 30, 2012

For The Last Letter Dip We Go Out With A Little Zip!

So the cat figured he would spare you all a zipper post, which you might have thought would come from this host. But we don't need Pat and the zebra back or anything like that at my shack. For it could give some a heart attack if it began neighing after a whack. Time to move on and go all Zip A Dee Doo Dah at my lawn.

If you start singing this,
It is now considered bliss.
Much like good morning good morning,
So there is your warning.

But go ahead
And let it out of your head.
For it's such fun words,
And attracts blue birds.

Wonderful feeling,
Leaving you reeling.
At your bay,
As you hum it all day.

Although you can't view,
The movie where it came due.
For it is racist they say,
And it causes dismay.

Probably more huff,
Some group starts to puff.
As worse comes about,
In today's movie shout.

But I do not know,
So I may eat crow.
Which is quite yummy,
To the cat's tummy.

The blue bird flew away,
After I tried to play.
He didn't like my style,
Finding it vile.

But what can I say,
Other then what the hey.
And maybe one more,
Little encore.

So ends my rhyme,
And this chime.
So go sing away,
And have a nice day.


Now the cat too will have that in his head all damn day. Need to listen to my theme song up top for display. then that will be gone and a new one will dawn. Either way you may feel like a pawn since I made a tune get stuck in your head with each Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah that I said. But I'm delighted if I caused you to shout some sass and that is all the Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah's today out of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Cat And Pat Make The Phone Guy Fall Flat!

Pat was lying about and the cat was sprawled out on top and because of my flop, I made his leg go numb. What, are you saying I have a big bum? All the better to moon you with I guess, which the cat does quite often, I will confess. Then just as with every other night, the stupid phone rang and on came its light. Pat knew it was the dumb "We've Got a Special Offer For You" mook and no it wasn't a fluke. Same time every time with their chime.

So instead of hitting the red side, Pat smiled wide and picked me up with him. I was still a tad dim. He hit the phone and let the speaker play. My eyes perked up and I tried to get away. But he held me there, even with the few scratches I gave him here, there and everywhere. Eventually I got his plan and became a fan.

Hello, Hello, Hello
No, I don't want jello.
(Meow, Meow, Meow)

Sir, I'm looking for Mr. Hatt.
Check under your mat.
(Meow, Meow, Meow)

Hello, Hello, Hello
I really hate snow.
(Meow, Meow, Meow)

Would Mr. Hatt be there?
He's having an affair.
(Meow, Meow, Meow)

What was that sir?
Damn, you sure can shed some fur.
(Meow, Meow, Meow)

Are you still there, sir?
Can't you hear me purr?
(Purr, Purr, Meow, Meow)

Cassie jumps up on the desk and looks about, twitching her head as the phone does its shout.

We have a special offer for you.
Who's we? I only hear one, it's true.
(Meow, Purr, Meow, Purr)

I mean we,
Sir would you like the hear....
You didn't rhyme, oh dear.
(Meow, Meow, Purr, Purr)

Pat smiled stealing Betsy's word, as Cassie thought the whole thing absurd. She started to bat at the phone wanting to end that disturbing moan. Pat watched as silence came due, letting me go and I batted it too.

Hello, Hello, Hello
I still don't want jello.
(I know the same rhyme but that isn't a crime)

Cassie whacked the phone on the floor and we both jumped down battling the thing some more. It spun rather well and as the guy spoke we thought "what the hell?" We wanted the guy to come out or stop his shout. The cat meowed right into the phone after another hello, hello, hello moan. After that it went click we thought we were quite slick.

And the final facts are they never called back to my bar. Add another to the list of things the cat can do. I can scare away the phone guy, who is barely understandable, for you. So now I'm not disturbed when I make Pat's leg go to sleep with my mass and yeah, that includes my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling

Saturday, April 28, 2012

This May Surely Make You Yell As I Ring The Yowza Bell!

Today for the Y I figured I would be a noisy guy err umm cat and that is simply that. As the cat meows all the time at his bay wanting Pat to give me attention in each and every way. Even if I go to the loo but that you already knew. So time to make you all Yowza away with these ummm oh so nice things on display.

Yowza! Another reason hitchhikers should never be picked up as this one can squash your car like it was a paper cup. No need to murder you with a gun. It can just step on you and you're done.

Now isn't that shiny. I hear you getting whiny. Saying give me one and letting your mouth run. If you have 1.7 million dollars it is all yours. Yowza! That must take you to the moon's shores.

Umm maybe he's going all zombie or practicing such a display. Everything sure is open wide for all to see today. Yowza! Those eyes may just pop out and he could make Tarsier Man pout.

Yowza! Look at the trap on that chap. He could swallow the cat whole but that would not be a good goal. For the cat would claw through before he made the cat into poo.

From zombie foot to zombie teeth now! Better off kissing a cow. As a disgusting Yowza that will insight. For those things are just a very very nasty fright.
Does its face look like anything to you? I will give you a clue. It rhymes with gas and you non-rhymers can't take a pass. Imagine having that face for life. You get a Yowza or ten to cause you strife.
And for the win here is his twin. Look at the honker on him. If it holds his brains he surely isn't dim. Unless it is full of snot or air. You would cry Yowza if he started brown nosing at your lair.
Here is something to give to your wife the one you want to stay with for life. As 1.25 million bucks will surely seal the deal or she'll just say get real. Then take off with the ring and live somewhere where it is always spring. Yowza! You've just be had and are now broke and oh so sad.

I'd never neglect the ladies at my sea. For this is something I'm sure will give them glee. I can hear you all Yowza from across the land. Aren't they just so grand?

And for the guys here you go. A loud window cracking voice show. She has to be the biggest turn on you have ever seen. So Yowza away and if you get all hot and bothered drink from your canteen.

So the fat lady has sung and maybe even popped a lung. I guess that is my cue to run and let you all enjoy the fun. As you take another pass and Yowza away at the thoughtfulness of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Time To Solvent All Your Issues Even If It May Eat Through Tissues!

I bet many thought something like X could stump the cat? At least those not familiar with my mat. When will you learn that I can always make one feel the rhyming burn? No matter the letter or thing the rhymes will fling. So Xylol takes the cake. Warning! Never use it in things that you bake.

Need to clean some parts,
With stuff not found in Walmarts?
Even works on tools,
That is metal you fools.

Did I stutter?
Keep your mind out of the gutter.
Yes, Brian I know that is hard to do,
But I'll pretend to believe in you.

Derived from coke ovens,
By the dozens.
Now Betsy don't go cook up a storm,
With these ovens rocks are the norm.

It's clear and colorless too,
So it'd be kind of hard to view.
There is a molar mass,
Damn! I better stop for that Jax lass.

Or she might think she has some disease,
And start to wheeze.
Or it might go to his head,
And Fred might drop dead.

What Xylol can do,
Is really mess with the comment crew.
Of course Fox would read,
All the directions and take heed.

Probably picking out a mistake or two,
In the grammar that came due.
At least he would know,
That in that air at each show.

It can be smelled at 0.08 to 3.7 parts per million.
Heck, let's make it a billion.
It does ring the harmful bell,
So don't go drinking any at your well.

Then you may become invisible at your shore,
And be lost forever more.
No beards or hair or mohawks or numb tongues to see,
But that damn penguin would still be free.

Flapping all about,
With his magic rainbow fart shout.
Thanks to the Irish raising his ego,
Should have made him a crow.

I believe Xylol has gone to my head,
I better pop a pill before I'm dead.
Or its flashpoint came due,
And makes the cat flash all of you.

Of course that wouldn't be so bad,
Better than that Pat lad.
So Xylol the weird and wacky has come to pass,
And I'll raise my tail for all of you as I walk away with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

I Doubt The W Fooled You! But Whoopdi Friggin Doo!

Robbie Raisin here to spread the W cheer. For when we are done you will Whoopdi Friggin Doo under the sun. You will Whoopdi Friggin Doo in the rain and on a train. It will be engrained in your brain, so suffer one and all as Robbie Raisin goes down the Whoopdi Friggin Doo lane.

The Following Advertisement Has Been Paid For By The Whoopdi Friggin Doo Society Of Wherever. Yes, They Think Their Name Is Clever.

Are you ready?
Keep your hand steady.
For this deal,
Is TOTALLY unreal.

For a limited time,
To all but a mime,
This offer will astound.
Nowhere else can it be found!

Thanks to Whoopdi Friggin Doo,
You have this to view.
Whoopdi Friggin Doo,
Gives you a clue.

Whoopdi Friggin Doo!
We want to help you.
No shiny loo?
Whoopdi Friggin Doo!

Need some super glue?
Whoopdi Friggin Doo!
Would you like some stew?
Whoopdi Friggin Doo!

This deal is so outrageous,
Whoopdi Friggin Doo will be contagious.
We will spread like wildfire,
Like the rubber tire.

Whoopdi Friggin Doo!
Will protect you.
Whoopdi Friggin Doo!
Will serve you.

Your bill past due?
Whoopdi Friggin Doo!
Nothing you say is true?
Whoopdi Friggin Doo!

For now is your chance to change,
Go all home on the range.
Become a slacker,
Instead of a rat race attacker.

Was that an achoo?
Whoopdi Friggin Doo!
You like to moo?
Whoopdi Friggin Doo!

For with this power,
All will cower.
You can take it in the shower,
Use it to plant a pretty flower.

Order this very moment, at this very time,
Because of this very chime.
And you will get not one, but two!
Thanks to Whoopdi Friggin Doo!

That is not all though.
Rhyme and yell Whoopdi Friggin Doo at you show.
And you will get THREE!
Whoopdi Friggin Doo is surely nice to thee.

For a one time payment of $925.24,
You will receive all three to your shore.
Whoopdi Friggin Doo!
Accepts cash, credit and checks too.

Thank you for your genourous payment,
Now here is your product to make others get bent.
For this AMAZING product can only be bought here.
And now you have it to strike fear.

Go out into the street,
Waiting to meet and greet.
Then pull out your pringle can full of cat poo,
Finally throw it and shout Whoopdi Friggin Doo!

Now you know all you need to,
If not, Whoopdi Friggin Doo!
No refunds either will come due.
Enjoy your purchase from Whoopdi Friggin Doo!

Whoopdi Friggin Doo does not take responsibilty for stupid people, doing stupid things, with the stupid pringle cans full of poo. If you get it trouble and turn blue well Whoopdi Friggin Doo!


The cat had to take a rest and I am sure Robbie Raisin tried his best. I guess Whoopdi Friggin Doo passes the W test. Are you Whoopdi Friggin Doo-ing like all the rest? Now all will Whoopdi Friggin Doo in mass and it is such fun to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Makes Me Want To Hide In My Bush With The Tush!

So for V the cat is going to take a vacation from his sea. Yep, that is it. That is my bit. I'm done with this post and will be a lazy host. Did you think that? Of course not as you can see more words from the cat. The cat was going to take a vacation to some weird place that is until these weird things were put in front of my face.

Wow! This would be quite the trip and must be quite hip. You get to run down pedestrians on a bike, however many you like. I know Fox, it isn't the same as a car but still I'm sure you could make them fly far.

And what better vacation to have for all than to be reminded of the death trap you need to use to get to and from your hall. Maybe it can take off too when you are ready to go back to your familiar view.

This one screams come visit me. Come get sucked into the sand when you help set us free. We promise you'll be our main attraction by sinking in and showing off your body by just a fraction.

Why not come to the recycled hotel. You can even use our custom made bell. With a little ding the whole place will echo causing your ears to ring. Then you'll be deaf for your stay and won't cause us any dismay.

Come to face land where all is grand. The eyes follow you every where. So bring the kiddies without a care and the face will watch them for you. For the face is all powerful and all knowing with its enormous view.
Bring your enemy along with you. Say you want to have a truce and pretend like it is true. Then when you get here, have no fear. For a hefty fee we will make you enemy free. Doesn't that sound like the place to be? Might not fill your enemy with glee.

Did we forget to mention that you have to pay attention? For you will have some peepers and maybe a few creepers when you stay here. They just want to watch and give a cheer. So do what you got to do, whether that be the humpty hump or using the loo.
Speaking of loo you knew I could not let this not come due. I guess they are quite snap happy as well so things could quickly go to Hell. For those that are shy you might want to avoid giving it a try.

If you want to experience what it is like at bush number three or a loony bin, cross this sea. The walls even light up when you have a thought. Although when you try to decipher the meaning you may find yourself confused a lot.

And the one that brings shame to the cat is this vacation mat. An inn dedicated to a mutt. They must need to sniff a pretty big butt. I wonder what it is like inside? Would going in hurt the poor mutt's pride? Maybe that would not be so bad after all, as the cat could go in and make the dog to a cat call.

So now don't you want to make a mad dash and go travel to such places with such flash? Who needs some great wall, pyramids or grand canyon to see in spring or fall? For you have a dog hotel with lips ready to obey and that is surely a better display. Hmm or maybe it would be better to pass. Either way the cat is just trying to be such a helpful little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Grey, Green, Blue, They Really Are dVerse In Their View!

Today the cat is up to U and stinking Al stole the underwear idea I was going to do. But that was last year and a repost I fear. So the cat will be sure and make all commando whether from Timbuktu or Orlando and go with the probe. That's right! It's back to the UFOs that are across the globe.

Some poor guy had to work late,
It seems it was his fate.
Of course that meant it got dark,
Before he could even pull it out of park.

The dark brings danger,
Beware of a stranger.
Their candy isn't all that great,
And you could end up as fish bait.

But that is neither here nor there,
If you aren't either are you anywhere?
Maybe that is what they want you to think,
So you go around and around the rink.

And if you can't skate,
I guess falling flat on you face is your fate.
Or your part that is in the air,
When the UFO lands at your lair.

Seriously though what is up there?
And why do little grey men care?
Who started this stupid thing?
I know I already gave the question post a ring.

So they get you all good and ready,
Holding you steady.
Then one by one they shout and cry,
It seems they all start to die.

Yeah, it is our germs who knew?
Oh wait! Damn that was already used by a few.
Can a remake of a remake of a remake count?
After all there is a craptastic amount.

Oh yeah! I remember now.
It was not the germs that made them have a cow.
It seems the guy had some bad beans,
And you know what that means.

The poor aliens grabbed their throats and choked,
Then peeled over and croaked,
Because they were allergic to gas.
Aren't you glad you came to trespass?

For now when they go all peeper on you,
Letting your full moon hang out for all to view.
Let them get a good whiff,
And they become quite stiff.

As in dead,
Some even lose their head.
It isn't a pretty sight,
Be thankful it only happens at night.

Now wasn't that as dVerse as can be here at my sea? Who knew gas could come in handy? But that is just dandy. For those aliens and their UFOs will suffer the gas woes and are better off probing bass than my little rhyming ass.

Experience fling, have a spring.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Tarsier Man And Umm Drazin For The Save. I'm Going To Go Hide In My Cave!

After the whole eyes popping out, going in Drazin's mouth and making him shout. I hear the so called god has it in for Tarsier Man. Of either the cat is not a fan. But I guess they had quite the scuffle and kind of had a reshuffle. So for T it is Tarsier Man obviously at my sea.


Once more told by the cat,
Giving space for this two loons at my mat.

It seems when Tarsier Man's eye went pop,
Causing Drazin's mouth to drop.
He saw Drazin's slippers below,
As his eyes ran to and fro.

Once back in his head,
He knew Drazin caused kitties dread.
This guy had to be stopped,
Tarsier Man was some glad his eyes popped.

Drazin was busy arguing over a price,
Demanding that they charged him twice.
Tarsier Man watched from behind an aisle,
Thinking how Drazin's third person talk was vile.

Drazin noticed him in the mirror above,
And no longer cared about his overcharged baseball glove.
Tarsier Man made his eyes go pop,
And out they came with a plop.

He loved his power,
For it made the people around him cower.
Most just thought it was gross,
But that's something Tarsier Man seemed unable to diagnose.

His body felt a shock,
And began to rock.
Drazin's laugh became a roar,
As it echoed throughout the store.

He had caught Tarsier Man's eyes,
Thinking he won a prize.
As he held his glove closed,
Tarsier Man simply posed.

He began to sing his theme song,
And told Drazin he did not belong.
He would have to give up his evil ways,
Or he'd make sure Drazin pays.

Tarsier Man's eyeless body ran at Drazin,
Who looked at this thing with the mind of a raisin.
Drazin simply stepped aside,
And Tarsier Man lost his stride.

He ran into the counter and did a flip,
Upon doing so he hit the register with his hip.
The thing twirled around,
And Drazin's eyes bulged as the true price was found.

The shop keeper had been fleecing one and all,
Charging extra at his hall.
Drazin flung Tarsier Man's eyes from his glove,
Filled with pure hate and not love.

The shop keeper had almost fled,
When the eyes whacked him in back his head.
He fell to the ground,
And Drazin stood over him all profound.

Tarsier Man recalled his eyes,
And fixed up his bark suit disguise.
He saw Drazin pick the guy up by his shirt,
And sounded his theme song alert.

He hopped off the counter onto Drazin's back,
Going on the Tarsier Man attack.
Drazin flung the shop keeper aside,
And gave Tarsier Man quite the ride.

He then flipped him over onto the floor,
And turned his attention to the shop keeper once more.
Tarsier sprung to his knees,
Ripping at Drazin's cat fur slippers like they had fleas.

Before Drazin could move his slippers were gone,
And his glowing eyes began to dawn.
Tarsier Man cheered and ran away,
Once more letting his theme song play.

Drazin grabbed the shop keeper,
Wanting to end that Tarsier Man creeper.
And took his frustration out on him,
Let's just say the shop keeper's outlook was grim.

Drazin grabbed his glove and his owed money,
Heading outside where it was sunny.
His feet were bare once more,
I'm sure he'll be heading to my shore.

But not before he tracks down Tarsier Man,
Proving he's just some flash in the pan.
As Drazin knew he stopped the crime,
And pretty soon he'd make Tarsier Man's eyes pop one final time.

So there we go, another tale of both those clowns at my show. I hate that Tarsier Man even more now. For unless Drazin wants slippers made from a cow, he will come after us once more and I'm sure out the third person ranting will pour. But he will never get the cat or Cass, as he has nothing on my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Gung And Ho Take a Stroll Letting Their Thoughts Roll!

So once more Gung, who is a rather large fellow and smells like dung, and Ho, who is his mini me and has one big toe, walked by the cat, as I was out doing this and that. They saw me and began to talk in rhyme, still discussing their nonsense having a grand old time.

"Ho, you know what is good about that Drazin guy? You know the one who thinks he is from upon high."

"What would that be, Gung? That he somehow just popped a lung?"

"That would be grand too, Ho. But it hasn't happened as far as I know. What is so grand about him, is even though he is dim, you never have to worry about him talking about others. Not kings, presidents, mothers or brothers."

"Why would you say that? He does talk about that cat."

"Ignore the cat and maybe the odd rat. For Drazin is an egotist, Ho. Meaning he is too busy talking about himself to let anything on others flow."

"Wow, Gung. That is a good point. You know what recently got my nose out of joint?"

"What's that, Ho? All of this stupid snow?"

"Nope, it isn't that or that staring cat. Who for some reason is making us rhyme. That should be a crime. Anyway, I went to the bookstore and couldn't find the self help section the other day. I asked where was the self help display. And that bitch told me it would defeat the purpose of self help if she were to help. After that I made her yelp."

"Ho, you didn't do that?"

"Yeah, I rubbed up against her leg like a cat. Before I could do my dog impression she ran away. So I self helped myself to some of the books on display."

"You're just lucky she didn't call a cop."

"But she did and they almost caught me until they had to stop. As those guys have to obey the law and they had to stop as a deer crossing sign they saw."

"I'll ignore your bad grammer, Ho. For I get what you mean with your flow. How do they get the deer to cross at only those signs anyway? Is there some magic thing in them that brings them that way to play?"

"I never thought about that, Gung. Maybe they spray them with deer dung? It works for other animals right? Dogs like to eat it day or night. But the funny part was that is was a turtle that was crossing the street and it had no shell looking rather beat."

"Ho, would that mean the turtle was homeless or naked without its shell? Either way that surely must be some kind of hell."

"Maybe he was half and half or something. Either way it wasn't as bad as that fly that kept buzzing. I finally caught it and ripped off its wings before it got away."

"Well Ho, you know what you did that day?"

"What did I do, Gung?"

"With the wings that you flung. You turned the fly into a walk. Get it? For now all it can do is walk and has no wings for it to buzz about and squawk."

"The is a good one, Gung. Almost made me throw up a lung. Oh wait! I think I heard that at some other date. Could someone really do that? As wouldn't they be dead before coughing it up on the doormat? Meaning they couldn't cough it up to begin with what so ever."

"Ho, now you are being kind of clever. I suppose that could be the case. So that expression just got put in its place."

Would you two shut the hell up already! You are so nuts with the crap you keep saying steady I wish Drazin was here. Maybe he would stuff Ho up Gung's rear. Then the cat would give a cheer.

"Gung, could I really fit up your rear? I think that cat is just trying to cause us fear."

"Ho, you are correct. You couldn't fit even if I stood erect. But I think we better go before that cat tries something and maybe bites off your other big toe. He must not appreciate our rhymes. Let's go visit some mimes."

"Gung, if a mime gets arrested does he have the right to remain silent? Even if the police get violent."

The two continued to flap and run their yap, as they left my view, which was far past due. I hope they run into Drazin or that Tarsier Man nut. Then maybe one of them will break them out of their rut. Either way that was all the sass I could stand as I went past. Next time I'll walk fast or just stay sprawled outside in the grass and roll around wiggling my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

It's Part Five As The IQ Points Take a Nose Dive!

Newsflash at my shore as there is something new in store. You see Brian has been here almost since the start of my rhyming cart. I made up the whole gawker power and made fun of the mohawk here and there as my rhymes began to shower. But he kept coming back for more daily at my shore. So what better way then to show him respect for his choice not to neglect and just have fun than to give him an award run. Oops! Made you look for as said way back when Blabber got minion status I had something else in store at my nook. And thanks to his twin it can now be showed at my bin. Inspired by his power to gawk and the mohawk that may borderline stalk comes this little kiddie tale that Betsy and the cat have set sail.

That makes two that have now come due here at my zoo. Maybe one day there could be one based on one of you. Scary thought right? Could cause a fright. But on with the S show I now must go.

So for S today at my bay I figured why not go all search term once more, as it's been a month or two since my last encore. For those not in the know these are the terms that bring the oh so wise people from search engines to my show.

I Need A Hiatus On Gas From My Little Rhyming Ass!

"how to get rid of gas naturally"

Do I look like I have the answer to that? You need a doctor and not a cat. Of course maybe if you stopped holding it in the gas would naturally pass at your bin.

"next time you fart"

What do you want to do? Do you want to go all A to Z to? That would be quite fun, farting A to Z must be given a run.

"how to get rid of back gas pains"

Umm am I just too young for this? Is this a real kind of not so bliss? Because if you back can get gas I say you need to have it pass.

"valentines day+rhyme+butt"

Do I even want to know? Is this the best day to let your gas flow? Who is the expert on this stuff? I guess they think I am as they ask enough.

Advice You Should Really Read Twice

"you aren't going to get the butt you want by sitting on the one you"

I think they got cut off but don't scoff. I'm sure you can figure out that last part, just think of the above, i.e. the place you fart.

"rats will rat snakes will hiss"

And duck's will quack while a penguin will stab you in the back. See I can do it too here at my zoo.

"blow me it's the weekend"

Now how can you pass up these wise words? It will provoke the singing of the birds. Or maybe just get you a smack upside the head and maybe even shot dead.

"go to the hell"

Someone is a tad upset. I guess they don't like a rhyming pet. Although with the "the" in there it's not quite as threatening to be fair.

"don't be too sweet, it will suck"

If taken the right way this could be correct in its display but then who knows for some weirdos is probably having toe sucking woes.

"some girls really suck.........some guys really suck.........."

That they do. In more ways than one too. But we won't go there the go to the hell guy might come back and swear.

These Guests Think They Can Make Requests

"videos of the rhyme my hands on my head hands on myself"

You will not find such a video at my show. But watch where you put those hands though. You don't want to video such an act and that is a fact.

"chargogagogmanchargogagogcharbunagungamog audio"

Why even try? Saying this name will make you die. Go eat some pie and look at the fluffy clouds in the sky.

"monologues about furbys"

Is there seriously such a thing? Who would give furbies such a ring? That is just sad especially since it's probably a thirty year old lad.

And then requests just picked up speed from there making me want to swear.

"garfield picking his nose"
"dildo oar"
"mooning butt"
"guy laughing and slobbering"
"cartoon picture of small blue bouncy ball"
"guys with nice pecs"
"air canada book ticket"
"fly with a bow-tie"
"animals with huge tongues"
"gadget from rescue rangers nude"
"lady with small teeth"
"a shark eating someone"
"funny guy laughing and pointing"

"a rhyming about suck a thumb"

This one I guess I can do for a rhyme is okay compared to what the rest of that stuff would bring into my view.

Add some rum,
Chew some gum.
Eat some plums,
Pop a tums
Or beat to a different drum,
And simply suck your thumb.

The IQ Points Drop As Each One Is A Flop

"ball go up and down"

Really? I thought it could walk. Now that is a shock.


Nod and agree is all you'll get from me.

"pissing in his ass"

Just plain ewww and if this is something you do. Take a hike from my shore and don't ever come back for an encore.

"dumb sayings to say"

So you want to be more dumb? Come now, don't be glum. Just looking for such a thing grants you the crown of dumb. You surely must be brain numb.

"choke on a ropetake a long walk off a sort pier meaning"

So you don't know what they mean? I guess if I told you to pound sand you wouldn't think that to was obscene?

"booger on my finger and won't come off flash page"

Does this make any sense? This guy is kind of dense. Maybe just type flashy booger next time and you'll go get your answer from a mime.

"what kind of cat is mine"

You really expect to find out by typing that? I sooo pity your poor cat.

"bla bla chat"

Go talk to a sheep even if you are a creep. I think the bla bla and the baa baa will get along great. I hope once you go in they lock the gate.

"cartoon don't you ignore me"

You realize you are talking to a dead tree at best right? Maybe you need to adjust your sight or at least get a bigger TV. For then you can yell at it and even hump the cartoon for free.

And it was a tough pick for many had to IQ of a stick but the winner this time of the search engine chime. Is this searcher below for their search simply gives off a low IQ glow.

"what does a condom look like"

Hmm I never showed that here at my sea but I'm pretty sure it looks like a bee. Maybe it looks like a hotdog hmmm or maybe a log. Maybe some bark with some bite to leave a mark. I just don't know. Sorry, I guess my IQ is just so low. That was obviously some sarcasm sass and so ends this search engine edition of those who find my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, April 20, 2012

A Pretty New View That They Use To Trick You!

Take a seat as for R we go with the repeat. Aren't you glad not everything is like the DVD? If so, we'd be stuck with everything from Uber Edition paper clips to Tenth Anniversary toilet paper on the go. Saw Universal's 100 Anniversary collection deal and it says they are showing their best with this new DVD reel. Waterworld is the best???? Admittedly I liked it well enough but best to me means has zest.

Best to them means put out every flippin movie once more and give the DVD another encore. Slap the 100 year label on top and that should easily make your money drop. After all they've only put out ten editions before this and each one was the "BEST" causing such bliss. Think I'm joking? If so this could get you choking. Yeah, I know it's Fox and not Universal though but this one I knew right off hand so used it to show.

So that is 10 different DVD editions or ways of getting the DVD of the same damn movie. That's not counting the VHS and Blu-Ray versions that are out there to play. Yeah, the movie is grand but 10 damn ways is a tad out of hand. You can make the case as shiny as you want and sit there and taunt. But the same movie is going to come due. Oh wait! They added a trailer to the special features, well whoopdi friggin doo!

I get wanting to celebrate 100 years with all kinds of cheers. But putting out another "BEST" edition with more of the same is just so sad it's lame. Especially when the previous ones aren't out of print until they try and make us take the hint. Then they get rid of them all and give the recent one the "BEST" call. It would not be so bad if they just swapped them out and gave their shout. But they take the $5 editions away and charge $20 for the new version on display. Isn't that just grand? And they have the nerve to whine that people download across the land.

Thinking about it many things do update and charge the same, not bringing forth hate. Besides the obvious increase/decrease crap. But that's another lap. Imagine if Fruit Loops decided to charge 75% more because Tucan Sam's art changed. People would get deranged. I guess it is just accepted as the norm this ten edition DVD storm. Although once I have one I could care less about any additional special feature run. So they can whine and be all shiny as I pass and go suck a lemon for all I care as I show them my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

With A Hiss From The Cat We Question A Little Of This And A Little Of That!

So for Q the cat will make plenty of questions come due. As the stupid things have once more been coming into my view. Or at least make little sense when you think about them too much. Maybe I should tone the facts down a touch. Bah, screw that. As you humans still make no sense to the cat.

Ever think how dumb using the title "World Series" actually is? Every other sport has the championship name make sense to their current biz, except those more classified as a hobby, but the cat's already been down that lobby. Yet baseball seems to think it's so grand that it names its main championship the World Series and sings it out across the land. Hmm so I guess that one WHOLE Canadian team, amongst all the American teams that gleam, really makes the "World" aspect of it stick. Who knew having a Canadian could do the trick?

So you choke as you down water at your hall, whether because you drank too fast or just got hit with a World Series ball. Yeah, not going to let that go just yet. But I will soon so don't fret. Anyway, you cough up a lung and then from the nearest yap comes this pile of dung. "Take a drink of water or whatever else you drink." Really? I'm coughing on the stuff and you want to add more to my current kink? You trying to kill me? Or drown me in an apple juice sea? I'll drink when the throat is clear. Until then that phrase I do not want to hear.

Another one is "It went down the wrong hole?" Did I forget to pay a toll? As I must have got gipped or something for only one hole I seem to have to sing. Maybe it's magic and the second hole only shows up when things get tragic. But yeah when choking let's blame the magic hole that appears and disappears like some flag pole.

Then there is the whole "Do Not Stick Q-Tip in Ear." Where do they want me to put it? My rear? If you're a moron and have to shove it in so it gets stuck, in the brain cell category you are strat out of luck. Maybe they want you to stick it up your nose and then out the ears it goes? Think that would work? Could clear your nostrils, which would be an added perk.

Why do people, who are standing right beside you, insist on telling you the weather? Do they think you are blinded by a feather? Or maybe two feet away brings a whole new day. So each has to have their say. It's rainy over here. Over here the sun is giving a cheer. Pffft right! Do they think it is night? Maybe they think I'm a blind cat? Sometimes I envy that deaf rat.

Smash a printer? What is up with that? Who would come up with such a dumb chime? Must be Pat. What does smashing a printer get you? But having to go spend money for something new. Maybe that could be grand. So if it lends a hand, the cat will take the fame. Of course if it is lame, blame that Pat guy. Still don't you want to give it a try?

Wasn't that some fun randomness for the day? Hopefully it didn't cause too much dismay. For I may have made you think and brought you to the brink. Or just could have made you think I'm crazy, which could also make your eyes go hazy. Either way the randomness has come to pass and that is all for now from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The Power Is Back At My Bay Causing Me Or You Dismay!

For the P post the cat won't be petty and forget all of you. How could I ever forget the cat's crew? Especially when you are once more stuck in my damn head causing the cat dread. That's right the cat is once more suffering from that psychic plight. So for P I guess psychic will have to do. Although don't say I never warned you. For the cat is so psychic he can read your mind. You call it being telepathic all you want but it's psychic to my little rhyming behind. See it has started already your brain waves are once again coming to be steady.

"A rhyming cat, I'd rather have a dog."

Damn blog stalker I hope you get gawked by The Gawker.

"I hope the Japanese don't see me coming in late. That was close I like being short. Now no drinking as I read the cat's page."

Wow, you even blabber on in your brain. You do realize the cat can only take so much clutter as he boards the psychic train?
"Is he talking about me? Is it Pat talking or the cat. Wait! Why are my thoughts on the screen. How is he doing this? Is there something wrong with me? Maybe I have a virus in my brain."

She has a lot more to say, but Blabber can't suck all the time away at my bay.

"Bloody wanker isn't giving me any time today."

Settle down you still have the rhyming comment crown.

"Sigh! I keep coming back for the zebra and never get it."

Hmmmm creeper alert at my sea. I will wish a flee on your knee.

"I wonder how I can work gas and ass into my comment this time. Maybe he won't notice if I hit reply instead of scrolling down."

Sadly we all notice that and now you can see we do right on the screen at my mat. Actually your twin makes the biggest fuss over it. But you are still quite the hit.

"First, I have to be first, waiting. Come on already, I have to be first!"

Hank are you waiting to be first once more here at my shore? Could be Brian too or the Fox but then he likes to make first through fourth come due.

"I need a snarky comment to come back at this cat with."

"Why is it he's always picking on me?"

"Bloody hell he's making me rhyme each and every time."

"I hope he doesn't hurt a poor mime."

"Won't you come live with me cute cat."

Bah! Brain is starting to overload once more as they signals keep coming in at my shore. Go away and come back never again at my bay. You cause too much dismay and you don't even rhyme what you say. Besides the bloody hell person one and we all know who gave that run.

"Drazin knew Drazin should have made this fleabag into slippers. He's off his rocker."

"Look at this eejit. He better bugger off and stay out of my head and keep his rhyming arse out of my garden."

"I know I have that reference book around here somewhere. It has to be behind the big thick ones and under the ancient looking ones."

"I knew my penguins would come through and fill his head with poo."

"I already spotted ten mistakes so far. Orson, stop bothering me. You aren't allowed to post because they could see Jesus in you fur."

Hmm Fox you forgot to show that one when you gave the whole face thing a run. Some Irish Air seems to have it out for the cat. I'll have to scratch up her door mat. Strat! Here we go once more at my shore.

"This is great!"
"Nice post"
"Followed, follow back"

Hmm well that was an easy one for the cat it seems robot wannabes brain waves fall pretty flat. But some make up for it with ease and they rant on and on and on about whatever they please.

"Google says this isn't possible. This is just like his one horse town and time change. I'm not falling for it. I wish my thoughts would stop appearing on screen. It makes me look like such a blabbermouth. Did I just think that?"

"All the cats out there do run together some. Maybe I can seem like less of a crazy cat lady if I pretend they are the same one. Pat, stop typing what I am saying. Don't make me come for another brain tour."

"Maybe ass and ca ca this time. If I throw in a poo it might seem a bit much. I guess gas and ass always seem to work."

"Do people really think with such bad grammar?"

"I found the cause of it. Oh wait! This cure is in a 100 year old reference book. It might be a tad out of date.

"Pat you eejit, bugger off and get out of my head."

"May I'll finally get to see that zebra thong."

"This is such an awesome act and that's a face it fact."

Make it stop! I need to call a psychic cop. This damn A to Z. I curse thee. Go away, go away, go away. Hmmm that might have just worked as there is no more dismay.

"Diese reimen cat ist ein solches blast"

"Regardez cette stupide cat"

"Questa รจ una crazy ass feline"

I guess those wires had to get unstuck first. Hearing thoughts is the worst. Never wish for such a power as the thoughts continue to shower. Not to say it wasn't fun repeating all of you as you came into my mind's view. But now my psychic power has once more come to pass and I still don't care if you say it's being telepahtic as I'm a psychic little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Thanks To Betsy, Dez and Anne For O The Cat Puts On a dVerse Payback Show!

Firstly all for fun as always at my sea and I figured many didn't want their face on youtube for all to see with glee. So I got creative and boy does it stink. Dez and Anne might bring your nostrils to the brink. Don't believe me? Click away and see for yourself with glee.

Betsy got the cat going on a run and out of our fun came the fact that her head out of the bush with the tush would surely attract. Then Anne threatened a tune along with the banter of that Dezmond loon. So the cat had to get them all first with a nice little burst. Sadly the cat can go on and on so he added quite a few more at his lawn. So for O it is Operation Bush With The Tush which you can see in a video and words below. Enjoy your fame and remember those three are to blame!

Bush With A Tush

Rhyming comes from all around
In a crazy whirl
Bushes pop up from the ground
Mooning like some call girl.

Might see some zombie feet
Or have a movie treat

At the Bush with the tush
Bush with the tush
You never know
Who will show
In the bush with the tush
Bush with the tush

Here comes a shocker,
It's a Gawker
Followed by a jaywalker.
Who's off her rocker.

Unlike some Numb Tongue
Whose bell is really rung.
That was a nice try
But you stole that stink eye.

The cat sees all,
As you give a call.

For the bush with the tush
Bush with the tush
You never know
Who will show
In the bush with the tush
Bush with the tush

Penguin man and Irish Air
Threaten my lair
But their evil scheme,
Is just a pipe dream

Thwarted by a cat
And of course Pat Hatt.
There's a blabber mouth too,
Looking after our zoo.

With a flip flopping blue guy
Who fooled the spy

Here at the bush with the tush
Bush with the tush
You never know
Who will show
In the bush with the tush
Bush with the tush

Dictionary Man has you covered,
When a new word is discovered.
There is even some mutts,
Who sniff butts

And some waffles too,
Oh Dear what will Gloria do.
Tell Heaven to smite the crew,
While slamdunk searches for a clue.

And Hank is trying,
To prove a daydreamer's lying.

All at the bush with the tush
The bush with the tush.
You never know
What will show
At the bush with the tush
The bush with the tush

HA! Top that alliance drenched in poo! Score one for my zoo. I just had to include many of you as it was too fun not too. And of course it was quite the dVerse show and now I may have to lie low. For the payback that could come to pass might try to bury my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, April 16, 2012

A Little Light Play Today At My Bay!

So for N the cat had these in his head causing him dread and they had to come out, needing a nursery rhyme shout. Now here we go on a rhyming run with a nursery rhyme tale or two being spun.

Corny Thorny went to the store,
Corny Thorny got stuck in the door.
Round and Round he went,
Finally landing on the cement.
When the car came Corny Thorny was no more.

Large Lanky Lass was in a mess,
Trying to straighten her dress.
Short Fat Lad,
Thought it was rad
Considering it third base progress.

Maroon Balloon needed air,
Snarky Shark wanted hair,
With one blow
Hair started to grow
Now they are quite the pair.

Flippery Flappery Flappers
Like to run their yappers.
Peppy Popping Pippers
Like to run with clippers.
Give the two some wrappers,
You get Flippery Popping Flappers.

Over there lies a pond, big, bright and blue.
The chicks all float two by two.
The fish all jump howling at the moon.
It's just another day at the mating saloon.

Striped circles cross eyes,
Square stripes tell lies.
Round sails sort both,
But with a single oath.
Striped squares and circled stripes turn wise.

Lucky Little Lemur stood ontop a steamer
Reaching for the sky,
His course was set until he became wet,
Finally learning he couldn't fly.

A blabber, a gawker and an ass,
All meet at an impasse.
The blabber squawks,
The gawker finds a fox,
Who's chasing hawks,
With no socks,
And what of the ass?
The chaos was caused by his gas.

Suck it once more mother goose, you have nothing on my rhyming caboose. For I can thrill while you have people falling down a hill. But I will give you no more sass as you already know such a thing about my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Island Of The Gawker Part Seven. Little Blue Guy From Heaven?

There was Penwassa sitting on his toilet throne while all the cavemen types bowed and continued to groan. Zen, Max Evil and the Sweet Lust trio were on their not as shiny toilet thrones too. All Pat could do was curl up his nose and repeat eww. Miss Priss noticed Petsy, Blabber, Irish Air and Besercules trying to break free and I saw some guards whisper in Penwassa's ear that they could not find me.

"Drazin's had enough of this. Tarzan's apes had more fight in them then these antique humans. Drazin will teach them a lesson or ten."

"I'm with the godly mook, let's break them free."

"As long as I don't have to touch that toilet, I'm game."

We marched from the shadows and Penwassa gasped at us while his fellow cavemen cult weirdos kicked up a fuss. He flipped the handle on the toilet up and down fifty times trying to get them to stop their chimes. I guess it was his way of bringing the cult to order. He was pretty good at being a cavemen hoarder. He rose from his feet like God himself and pointed to us from his toilet throne shelf.

"See, not even our jail could hold the power of our savoir. He has come back to send us above. Let the sacrifice commence."

Drazin marched up and smacked a couple in the head and Pat did the same causing them dread. But those cavemen were thicked headed and fought back surrounding them and preventing any attack. Miss Priss slunk through the crowd and the smug toilet throne weirdos acting all proud. I knew I had to distract them fast and that is when that dust gave me another rhyming blast. I began to rhyme away, as Miss Priss attempted to chew through the binds of those to be sacrficed on display.

Give me a look,
As I hop about your nook.
You got plants,
With some yummy ants.

A hut with a fire,
Some rubber tire.
A bed made of grass,
This creepy lass.

An unshaved mug,
Such a loveable lug.
Face of a pug,
A cool water jug.

It floats too,
A fish that can...moo.
Weird but cool,
Here where you rule.

So why go up high,
To that sky,
Full of fluff,
Seeing all in the buff.

Showing private things,
Sporting fluffy wings.
If a bell is rang,
And you know, dang,

What a great throne,
And crown made of bone.
Here you can sit,
Above your death pit.

And if you have to go,
Let it flow.
With some cavemen,
Mooning in their den,

Fighting over scraps,
Such mindless chaps.
But still so great,
You don't need such a fate.

Stay here on the ground,
Where all you need is found.
Why look above,
Flying like some dove.

When you can stay,
Here and play.
Your bone drum,
And even pick a plum.

Isn't that yum?
I know you want to hum.
So join on in,
Give it a spin.

Jump up and down,
Already in crazy town.
So go with the flow,
Let your jig show.

I had them all dancing in some rumba type thing and they were letting their hands and feet fling. These guys were so easy to fool and yeah those cavemen sure could drool. Drazin and Pat helped Miss Priss and I heard her hiss, telling me that was a wrap as it was time to run from this Penwassa chap. But he spotted them all free and I jumped on his head with glee.

Ignore the sights,
And the dictated rights.
Just go with the flow,
Chow down on a crow.

Forget the above sky,
It's all a lie.
You'll go below,
To a fiery show.

So spend your time here,
Invent the gear.
Then sign a deal,
And maybe get to the wheel.

Klacky klipper
You need a zipper
But not much to view,
So its okay and now I bid adieu.

"Blashpemer! Get them before the sacrifices escape."

Oh and did I mention,
We can increase the tension.
For if you don't concede,
In will come a stampede.

The ground began to rumble and the cavemen started to stumble. The little tarsier sounded the charge and he lead in the whole animal barge. Petsy jumped up on her elephant as it came near. Besercules lead his apes on an assualt striking fear while Miss Priss and I hopped on Pat's shoulder and Drazin laughed as he shoved a boulder. It rolled off a hill and crushed their toilet thrones giving him a thrill. Irish Air pulled out some hidden ninja sword drum sticks and started to pick off the incoming hicks. While Blabber let her hair spin and kept them from securing any win. Petsy let loose a cry and huge birds swooped in from the sky. They started darting at the cavemen and chasing them around as Pat stared at the ground. He noticed a lever beneath Penwassa's toilet throne and pulled the end of the lever made of bone. It let loose a fizzle and we knew the shield came down and we could leave this backwater town.

Besercules yelled at each ape and made his escape, as Petsy howled once more or I guess it could have been some kind of roar. Either way the birds came our way and snatched us up from this crazy bay. Irish Air once more said things I will not repeat, as the cavemen were left in defeat. The tarsier once more resided with Blabber who was also on a bird and Drazin was yelling thinking it was absurd, that he had to ride out on a hippo instead. We all enjoyed causing him dread. And off we went back to Petsy's lair as Blabber fixed her hair, Irish Air continued to swear and Pat was normal, which was rare. Although our victory may come up short for a blue spotlight shined down over Petsy's court and as we approached a little blue guy could be seen who looked rather mean. I would say he was ticked off indeed and we all began to take heed.

So the cult is now toast and over that we can boast. Especially the cat for it was I who distracted that caveman rat with the rhymes I gave about their God awful, smelly cave. That took some skill, yet I gave them their fill. Plus a little bit of sass and they now know not to mess with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Once More Here We Go With My Favorite Type Of Flow!

So today is M at my bay. Does anyone even want to pretend they could not see what was coming today? I guess to those who have not been around long they may not have guessed I would go all MOVIE today at my lawn. But for the rest you surely know I can pass the movie test.

This was not a boating accident under the sun.
For there can be only one.
So let's go 88 miles per hour and see some serious shit.
For the same albino jackrabbit sob that did Hunsacker did it.

Do you feel lucky punk?
As we go about the movie funk.
For Rambo had a thing for a Beverly Hills Cop,
Those Aliens and Tootsie made him stop.

The Librarian fought some Mighty Ducks,
At Wayne's World over some hockey pucks.
12 Monkeys got in the way.
Eating American Pie all day.

Making Mad Max well mad,
Becoming a Lethal Weapon and hurting them bad.
Wait! Wouldn't that be Altered States?
Either way you Must Love Dogs to get dates.

Which can lead to a Due Date,
Or give you a Misery type fate.
In which case Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot,
May be needed to take down that Raging Bull brute.

Unless you're too busy Romancing the Stone.
I so hope Mr. Destiny did that alone.
If it was Saw,
The Shaggy Dog might not shake your paw.

Or you could be shunned by a Hudson Hawk.
Hiding Out from some strangers gawk.
That Hobo With A Shotgun is scary.
Juwanna Man isn't really that hairy.

A Lottery Ticket would be nice,
That Major League win would get me lots of mice.
Until the Men in Black came after me.
But the Bad Boys would make them flee.

Nancy Drew, can that come due?
Do you have a Clue?
Nothing to Lose by asking Passenger 57,
Unless there is a Short Circuit and you go to heaven.

Johny Five would still be alive,
While through a Sister Act Simone took a nose dive.
I guess the Police Academy needs to shape up,
My Fellow Americans do you like coffee in your cup?

Are you trying to Mimic me?
Better luck being a Mannequin at your sea.
And eww don't Lean On Me,
Kiss The Girls and leave me be.

Howard The Duck said so,
Feel the Heat and go.
Or I'll Grease up your hair,
Making you and Flubber the perfect pair.

Could bring about the Dawn of the Dead,
Now City Slickers don't worry your pretty little head.
And have some Breakdown,
For Braveheart will save your town.

I know Blabber that is a Big no no,
But After the Sunset it can show.
Even if you still want it to Die Hard,
On some Galaxy Quest across the yard.

But give it to Good Luck Chuck,
With a Good Night and Good Luck.
Should go off without a Hitch,
I Love Trouble and have scratched my movie itch.

Those just flow out with ease. I could do so many one would wish for fleas on their knees just to shut me up at my bay and make me move on from such a display. I'll give movie sass to one and all so suck it up buttercup at my hall. Now don't get bent or call Harvey Dent. I do not want any two faced sass and that's all the movie out of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, April 13, 2012

I Spin The Table For Today It's All About The Label!

I figured it was time to pull a movie/episode title thing with all the labels I gave a ring. So L if for the LABELS of my blog, in case you are lost in the fog. I went down the list that nice, considerate (rolls eyes) blogger saves for us and don't worry, only a few cuss. Not that any mind with the daily send off for my behind. Now let's see what can be done, as the labels are spun.

Longer than a Twitter tweet,
But Flappy has me beat.
Thankfully with Kelly Brook,
There is an Increase at my nook.

The Zebra Thong might come into play,
Maybe the Wallpaper might fray.
That was some Fake News,
No real Sweet Lust to give you the blues.

Thank your Lucky Charms,
As some Jiggle Jugs might break your arms.
Or Zombies will just have a treat,
Hint! Fruit Loops they do not eat.

Although they can have the Postage Machine,
It makes Error 503 seem serene.
You want some Canadian/American Humor?
Well Whoopdi Friggin' Doo, go shag a baby boomer.

Watch out for Ass Bites though.
Some funky Anagram may flow.
Leaving you a Twisted T,
As you listen to the Rhyme Time Theme at my sea.

The Density of Water escapes me,
Right! It equals Boss Hogg above the knee.
Was that a Slamdunk?
Or do my Rhyme Sayings leave you in a funk?

Did I screw up your Robot Car?
Could always go to a Dogs bar.
But watch of for the Germs.
And remember those Fart Rules worms.

Insults seem to be coming.
Like Asteriods they are humming.
It's the End of The World for all.
What To Do at your hall?

Avoid Toxic States,
Snatch some Squirrels with your mates,
Then go to a Funny Named Town,
And grab a Catwoman gown.

Slap some Bumper Stickers on your rump,
Give off Cat Meows as you jump,
Hail the mighty Zeus,
Watch Drazin ride a moose.

Avoid thin walls best you can,
And join up with that Stretch Armstrong man.
Yap about some Episode Titles of some show,
Then find Saints Row.

Congrats! You slipped past the Cages,
And all the Illegal stages.
While the Bugs watched the world end,
You now can log onto Blogger and hit send.

Look at that? You now have a plan from the cat, with plenty of facts on how to survive world ending acts. Not where I planned to go, as I wanted to hog all those tips at my show. But I guess I can share for I have plenty of other plans at my lair. So the labels have come to pass and now I go off with no labels attached to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Out Of The City For This Little Ditty!

The cat was taken to that other space and of course there cats are all over the place, which does not bode well for me. The cat would rather take a mutt than another kitty. So for K it is obviously KITTY at my sea as I knew you'd think cat was for C. So had to switch it up and maybe even show a pup.

The cat will tell a tale without fail as he puts himself up on the screen and takes over Pat's movie scene.

There I was eyeing up some toilet paper at home when Pat scooped me up and stuck me in some dome. The would be a cage but we did that on another page.

Miss Priss was not impressed at all and tried to hide at our hall. If only she could learn to close the door she may get away with it more.

In we came to this little bit of bliss. Don't these backwater cats know butt sniffing is a dog things like the one down below.

He ran to his bed after the cat nipped at his tail. It was going back and forth without fail. What did you expect me do to? The thing looks tasty to my view.

This fat one was in love with a shoe. I just let him get his loving on and kept him out of my view. Best I not cause a stink for I'm sure that shoe already brought him to the brink.

Meanwhile he was high from his butt sniffing and started rolling around. I guess maybe some cat nip also could have been found.

Then I was stalked by this creepy fluff ball. Lets just say I knew he was behind me coming down the hall. Can't you tell as I wait for him to come reading to swipe some hair from his bum?

When I was through he was no longer fluffy or even a little bit puffy. For I took care of him. These cats are just so dim.

Doesn't he look out of it at least a little bit? High as a kite he could have been as well. Boy, was I in kitty Hell.

This guy was even trying to mock me. Thinking he could flash whatever at me. But he has been snip snip too. So there wasn't much there but hair to view. Oh how that must suck when one wants to umm be a duck.

This showing just made me sick. I wish it was some kind of trick. But those things all lined up in front of me and I had to get the heck out of this other sea.

Even Miss Priss decided to sniff a butt. Oh the shame of her trying to be a mutt. I took matters into my own paws after that and pulled out the secret weapon I brought from our mat.

That is right. For on that very night. I rolled myself up in magic toilet paper and ended this very caper. I wished us all back to bush number three and we were out of the home of nanny.

And so the tale of the kitty has come to pass and as you can see from the picture I bid you farewell by giving you nothing but my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Heed The Sign Or Meet The Divine!

The cat or Pat, in this case, may not practice what we preach but still I figured it would be fun to teach. As the J has come to pass and so we take a look at the JAYWALKING class.

Look a nice sunny day,
Drivers can see you from far away.
The crosswalk is way down the road,
Walking an extra fifty feet may overload.

So instead lets dash,
We won't cause a crash.
At least not to us,
For we can be seen by that big bus.

Oops! Maybe not.
Wow that hurt a whole lot.
For five seconds in your head,
As after that you dropped dead.

At least maybe you flew,
When you came into their view.
Going all Dumbo through the air,
That must have been a nice affair.

Then came the free fallin'
And the 911 callin'
The gawkers are bawling,
While death comes a calling.

All because a chicken you tried to best,
Thinking you were faster than the rest.
But in the end just a smudge,
Looking something like fudge.

So if you need to get there fast,
Know that could be a thing of the past.
For you will get nowhere,
If you become as flat as Tupperware.

Hmm fudge on tupperware from a jaywalker. I bet that would deter a stalker. Now thanks to the cat you will never look at fudge the same way again at your mat. Oh the things I do to each and every one of you. The cars may pick off those as slow as a bass but they will never catch my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.