So once more Gung, who is a rather large fellow and smells like dung, and Ho, who is his mini me and has one big toe, walked by the cat, as I was out doing this and that. They saw me and began to talk in rhyme, still discussing their nonsense having a grand old time.
"Ho, you know what is good about that Drazin guy? You know the one who thinks he is from upon high."
"What would that be, Gung? That he somehow just popped a lung?"
"That would be grand too, Ho. But it hasn't happened as far as I know. What is so grand about him, is even though he is dim, you never have to worry about him talking about others. Not kings, presidents, mothers or brothers."
"Why would you say that? He does talk about that cat."
"Ignore the cat and maybe the odd rat. For Drazin is an egotist, Ho. Meaning he is too busy talking about himself to let anything on others flow."
"Wow, Gung. That is a good point. You know what recently got my nose out of joint?"
"What's that, Ho? All of this stupid snow?"
"Nope, it isn't that or that staring cat. Who for some reason is making us rhyme. That should be a crime. Anyway, I went to the bookstore and couldn't find the self help section the other day. I asked where was the self help display. And that bitch told me it would defeat the purpose of self help if she were to help. After that I made her yelp."
"Ho, you didn't do that?"
"Yeah, I rubbed up against her leg like a cat. Before I could do my dog impression she ran away. So I self helped myself to some of the books on display."
"You're just lucky she didn't call a cop."
"But she did and they almost caught me until they had to stop. As those guys have to obey the law and they had to stop as a deer crossing sign they saw."
"I'll ignore your bad grammer, Ho. For I get what you mean with your flow. How do they get the deer to cross at only those signs anyway? Is there some magic thing in them that brings them that way to play?"
"I never thought about that, Gung. Maybe they spray them with deer dung? It works for other animals right? Dogs like to eat it day or night. But the funny part was that is was a turtle that was crossing the street and it had no shell looking rather beat."
"Ho, would that mean the turtle was homeless or naked without its shell? Either way that surely must be some kind of hell."
"Maybe he was half and half or something. Either way it wasn't as bad as that fly that kept buzzing. I finally caught it and ripped off its wings before it got away."
"Well Ho, you know what you did that day?"
"What did I do, Gung?"
"With the wings that you flung. You turned the fly into a walk. Get it? For now all it can do is walk and has no wings for it to buzz about and squawk."
"The is a good one, Gung. Almost made me throw up a lung. Oh wait! I think I heard that at some other date. Could someone really do that? As wouldn't they be dead before coughing it up on the doormat? Meaning they couldn't cough it up to begin with what so ever."
"Ho, now you are being kind of clever. I suppose that could be the case. So that expression just got put in its place."
Would you two shut the hell up already! You are so nuts with the crap you keep saying steady I wish Drazin was here. Maybe he would stuff Ho up Gung's rear. Then the cat would give a cheer.
"Gung, could I really fit up your rear? I think that cat is just trying to cause us fear."
"Ho, you are correct. You couldn't fit even if I stood erect. But I think we better go before that cat tries something and maybe bites off your other big toe. He must not appreciate our rhymes. Let's go visit some mimes."
"Gung, if a mime gets arrested does he have the right to remain silent? Even if the police get violent."
The two continued to flap and run their yap, as they left my view, which was far past due. I hope they run into Drazin or that Tarsier Man nut. Then maybe one of them will break them out of their rut. Either way that was all the sass I could stand as I went past. Next time I'll walk fast or just stay sprawled outside in the grass and roll around wiggling my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.