Saturday, April 21, 2012

It's Part Five As The IQ Points Take a Nose Dive!

Newsflash at my shore as there is something new in store. You see Brian has been here almost since the start of my rhyming cart. I made up the whole gawker power and made fun of the mohawk here and there as my rhymes began to shower. But he kept coming back for more daily at my shore. So what better way then to show him respect for his choice not to neglect and just have fun than to give him an award run. Oops! Made you look for as said way back when Blabber got minion status I had something else in store at my nook. And thanks to his twin it can now be showed at my bin. Inspired by his power to gawk and the mohawk that may borderline stalk comes this little kiddie tale that Betsy and the cat have set sail.




That makes two that have now come due here at my zoo. Maybe one day there could be one based on one of you. Scary thought right? Could cause a fright. But on with the S show I now must go.


So for S today at my bay I figured why not go all search term once more, as it's been a month or two since my last encore. For those not in the know these are the terms that bring the oh so wise people from search engines to my show.

I Need A Hiatus On Gas From My Little Rhyming Ass!

"how to get rid of gas naturally"

Do I look like I have the answer to that? You need a doctor and not a cat. Of course maybe if you stopped holding it in the gas would naturally pass at your bin.

"next time you fart"

What do you want to do? Do you want to go all A to Z to? That would be quite fun, farting A to Z must be given a run.

"how to get rid of back gas pains"

Umm am I just too young for this? Is this a real kind of not so bliss? Because if you back can get gas I say you need to have it pass.

"valentines day+rhyme+butt"

Do I even want to know? Is this the best day to let your gas flow? Who is the expert on this stuff? I guess they think I am as they ask enough.

Advice You Should Really Read Twice

"you aren't going to get the butt you want by sitting on the one you"

I think they got cut off but don't scoff. I'm sure you can figure out that last part, just think of the above, i.e. the place you fart.

"rats will rat snakes will hiss"

And duck's will quack while a penguin will stab you in the back. See I can do it too here at my zoo.

"blow me it's the weekend"

Now how can you pass up these wise words? It will provoke the singing of the birds. Or maybe just get you a smack upside the head and maybe even shot dead.

"go to the hell"

Someone is a tad upset. I guess they don't like a rhyming pet. Although with the "the" in there it's not quite as threatening to be fair.

"don't be too sweet, it will suck"

If taken the right way this could be correct in its display but then who knows for some weirdos is probably having toe sucking woes.

"some girls really suck.........some guys really suck.........."

That they do. In more ways than one too. But we won't go there the go to the hell guy might come back and swear.

These Guests Think They Can Make Requests

"videos of the rhyme my hands on my head hands on myself"

You will not find such a video at my show. But watch where you put those hands though. You don't want to video such an act and that is a fact.

"chargogagogmanchargogagogcharbunagungamog audio"

Why even try? Saying this name will make you die. Go eat some pie and look at the fluffy clouds in the sky.

"monologues about furbys"

Is there seriously such a thing? Who would give furbies such a ring? That is just sad especially since it's probably a thirty year old lad.

And then requests just picked up speed from there making me want to swear.

"garfield picking his nose"
"dildo oar"
"mooning butt"
"guy laughing and slobbering"
"cartoon picture of small blue bouncy ball"
"guys with nice pecs"
"air canada book ticket"
"fly with a bow-tie"
"animals with huge tongues"
"gadget from rescue rangers nude"
"lady with small teeth"
"a shark eating someone"
"funny guy laughing and pointing"

"a rhyming about suck a thumb"

This one I guess I can do for a rhyme is okay compared to what the rest of that stuff would bring into my view.

Add some rum,
Chew some gum.
Eat some plums,
Pop a tums
Or beat to a different drum,
And simply suck your thumb.

The IQ Points Drop As Each One Is A Flop

"ball go up and down"

Really? I thought it could walk. Now that is a shock.

"avetnjaci"

Nod and agree is all you'll get from me.

"pissing in his ass"

Just plain ewww and if this is something you do. Take a hike from my shore and don't ever come back for an encore.

"dumb sayings to say"

So you want to be more dumb? Come now, don't be glum. Just looking for such a thing grants you the crown of dumb. You surely must be brain numb.

"choke on a ropetake a long walk off a sort pier meaning"

So you don't know what they mean? I guess if I told you to pound sand you wouldn't think that to was obscene?

"booger on my finger and won't come off flash page"

Does this make any sense? This guy is kind of dense. Maybe just type flashy booger next time and you'll go get your answer from a mime.

"what kind of cat is mine"

You really expect to find out by typing that? I sooo pity your poor cat.

"bla bla chat"

Go talk to a sheep even if you are a creep. I think the bla bla and the baa baa will get along great. I hope once you go in they lock the gate.

"cartoon don't you ignore me"

You realize you are talking to a dead tree at best right? Maybe you need to adjust your sight or at least get a bigger TV. For then you can yell at it and even hump the cartoon for free.

And it was a tough pick for many had to IQ of a stick but the winner this time of the search engine chime. Is this searcher below for their search simply gives off a low IQ glow.

"what does a condom look like"

Hmm I never showed that here at my sea but I'm pretty sure it looks like a bee. Maybe it looks like a hotdog hmmm or maybe a log. Maybe some bark with some bite to leave a mark. I just don't know. Sorry, I guess my IQ is just so low. That was obviously some sarcasm sass and so ends this search engine edition of those who find my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

90 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. R is giving lots of love off these days at my sea
      You think he is trying to tell something to me?

      Delete
    2. he or she is what we yet don't know, so prepare yourself for some straight or not so straight romance LOL

      Delete
    3. LOL well either way things could be straight
      Unless one screws around corners then they may not be able to relate

      Delete
    4. screw around corners? Please do elaborate on that one LOL :)
      By the way that "avetnjaci" sounds like a Serbian word :) Avet means "ghost" in Serbian

      Delete
    5. LOL heard that in a movie once
      About some guy who was a dunce
      Ohhhh so you are sending the Serbian's after me now
      What? The next guy instead of penguins man will be a cow?

      Delete
  2. Damn this book sounds awesome Pat, now I have a debit card I need to get some dough and join in with your rhyming show. Another awesome act is that I can join the Face It Facts

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha you got one you say
      I will have to look at the facts bay
      And get you up there
      So all can see your lair

      Delete
  3. "chargogagogmanchargogagogcharbunagungamog audio"

    wut

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL it is a place
      The name would curl anyones face

      Delete
    2. isn't that were Fox lives?
      so THAT's what's wrong with his face
      makes him hide behind shades and silhouettes
      that's the reason, I bet!

      Delete
    3. Yeah he said it was near his place
      Guess it really did screw up his face

      Delete
  4. ha very cool...brian with the seeing eye...need to check this out...and you know..i always thought that you never should trust a penguin...just saying...smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes never ever trust a penguin at any time
      They can't even rhyme
      All they do is have happy feet
      And that just isn't neat

      Delete
    2. What Dez read this
      he's going to have a fit!

      Delete
    3. Bah penguin man is blind
      He won't see what was left by my behind

      Delete
  5. Enjoyed the picture of Brian! I am sure the entire book will be super cool and that the search engine will bring a lot of interesting people to your bay today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes the search engines bring the crazies to me
      Each and every day at my sea..haha

      Delete
  6. This is one of the best post so far I have read in your blog. Based on your comment in mock turtle I was expecting s,for sex. This is way way better. Really funny, more than the search phrases I loved your response to that. I think you can get your doctor degree , Fart doctor ;)
    Will check the book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. he really does excel in the farting business, he could be the head of the Academy of Farting Science and Art :P

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    2. He is all-rounder for sure, see right from Garfield, shark, ladies, almost covers everything under the sun.
      Dez, he is going to swear at you "Go to THE hell" :)
      In my prev job, we had one guy everyone said he was a respectable guy, I didnt understand then I realised, he addressed everyone with "THE". The Paul, The Mike, The Linda, The Kirill and all such :)

      Delete
    3. I don't get articles, me is not a native speaker of English :PP

      Delete
    4. hahaha yeah I get so many search engines weirdos finding me
      That this is like the 4th or 5th time I've done this at my sea
      Gets better each time I suppose
      But that is just how it goes
      Nah the cat is snip snip
      So sex doesn't come to my ship..haha
      Sad but true
      Glad it was liked by you

      I get to the the head
      Oh that was a joy to be read

      Calling people "The" hmmm that might be fun
      Maybe I should have start doing that a ton

      Me not sure me know what language you speak
      Me up the creek

      Delete
  7. i must order my copy today from your bay, what a handsome man, bet he has a nice can as well, oh hell, maybe thoughts like that are where the cat gets people looking for videos of rhymes about hands on the head and on the self, but this will be on my shelf. smiles. you both rock.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL a nice can you say
      Figures you would go there today
      With the poo and bum
      You like to give a hum hahahaha
      Yeah hands on self I did not need to know
      But I guess the weirdos just find my show
      Both rock you say
      Fun to hear at my bay

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    2. yeah we rock
      that's no shock!

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    3. Nope
      But careful for your ego it is a slippery slope..haha

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    4. oh, I'm quite grounded, no worries there
      in fact, it's the opposite that I have to beware.
      But don't worry, I'll keep your brain swell in check
      I even carry a pin to prick it just for the heck.
      lol.

      Delete
    5. LOL I pin won`t work
      My head is thick and that`s a perk
      So float away I just might
      Some night

      Delete
    6. ok...a pellet gun might have to work
      if you start acting like a jerk.
      Oh..hahaha..that was funny.
      yes, admit it, honey.
      Thick headed and stubborn; yes, I knew that
      but you're still a dear, mr. hatt.
      hahaha.

      Delete
    7. hahaha well I surely wouldn't hide behind the cat
      You already proven you will do that
      I guess body armor will suffice
      Pellets just aren't nice
      Ego and a dear
      That takes skill from my little rhyming rear..haha

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    8. skill you have
      just a tad.
      ha.

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    9. Just a tad
      Pfft so much more is had haha

      Delete
  8. I'll be honest, I read only the condom part. Are you shocked, cat, tell me, are you seriously and utterly shocked? :))
    And such obsessive use of words such as "blow", "suck" in last few posts... cat, tell me is this your mating month? :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No I am not shocked at all
      Here at my hall
      For penguins have a low attenion span
      Even lower if you are part man
      Or elf
      Blow and suck at my shelf
      Hmmm maybe the cat is just mad over the snip snip
      And tring to get a grip

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    2. a grip on what? On the part which is snip snip? Chasing illusions and misty visions? :)

      Delete
    3. Well there is a little there
      If one cares to stare

      Delete
  9. Congrats for another book Pat,
    and he looks handsome with a mohawk :-)

    The search engines are crazy display,
    glad you don't dish out such awful play ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep the crazies will come
      To visit my little rhyming bum
      Should see some of the others I have saved for next time
      hahaha they aren't very sublime

      Delete
    2. Really, some more out there
      I will have to see ~

      Did you not see my rhyming fun
      not just movies, but my poetry form
      at the theatre, I had a run ?????

      Delete
    3. Yep saw movie and rhyme
      Such a fun time
      As both are liked at our sea
      Except Pat's brain always goes movie

      Delete
  10. what interrsting Pat some of them of course!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some are just scary though
      But you know I had to show

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    2. Yipe You have your show, sigh!

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    3. That I do
      And will thrill all who view

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  11. Yippee on the book!
    Glad it's now for sale at your nook
    The Mister bought one for his Kindle
    in case the big words books give him shingles.
    ha.
    Your search word engine posts
    have me laughing the most
    They are my favorite
    and your reasponses are great.
    Gee, someone must really have some kind of a complex
    to tell the cartoons not to ignore them
    A shrink I think they must see
    to move on healthily.
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL big words give him shingles you say
      Ouch to such a display..haha
      Yeah they are such fun to do
      As I let them go at my zoo
      Showing the crazies who come ashore
      And they seem to keep coming forever more
      I think at least half needs a shrink
      As they have been brought to the brink

      Delete
  12. Congrats on the new book

    I still need that nook

    ReplyDelete
  13. Brian the friendly cyclops with a mohawk. :D

    Hilarious finds.

    Thanks for the laughs, Pat. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Congratulations on Gawk with the Mohawk. An intriguing title. Sometimes, because of our wide generational gap, I don't understand some words, but I enjoy your rhyming, none the less. No, not condom, I know that one. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some words can throw one for a loop
      Or make ones eyes droop
      But the cat can play with them no matter the age
      Although sometimes he does have to use a dictionary page..haha

      Delete
  15. wiser words may never have been said
    that valentine's day snack i hope i am never fed
    congrats on the book
    back farts are like getting shook
    it was a friend not me, you see, because
    i'm very private, and that's my way
    dumb sayings is pretty much all i have to say

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL no I would hope not
      That would be nasty by a lot
      Back farts are like that you say
      Hmmm okay
      I will agree
      Hope they never happen to me

      Delete
  16. Congrats on your book
    Sure would take a look
    Brian's pic is a classic
    Mohawk is a good pick

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep Brian and the hawk
      Was the cause of this kiddie walk
      As book number two
      Comes due

      Delete
  17. Although you are a fun read, I am sooooo glad that I did not have you in my classroom! Take a break, eat a cake.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL what too hyper for you?
      hahahaha oh the things I used to do

      Delete
  18. I keep telling you, write a book about this, it will be an instant classic. Definitely need that one in paperback though, need to put that one up on the reference shelf. I have to say, which I do believe each time you do these at your bay, this one is the funniest yet. The pissing in the ass, the weekend suck, oh too much, but at my shore I got WTF. The mohawk stalk looks like quite the kiddie talk, I do so hope Betsy drew a picture of that pig, surely something for the Gawker to gawk as he goes on in your kiddie cyclops romp. Seriously though, at the rate you're knocking these books out you're going to have more out there than Stephen King or Anyone else with a ton, but one things for sure, there's might all be good to some, but your's will surely be the most fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Knocking them off with ease here at my sea
      Whether novel or kiddie
      Hmmm I just have to think how to approach such a thing
      To give the search results a ring
      Would it be in rhyme
      Or would that be a crime
      Hmmm something to think about at my shore
      As it would be fun forever more
      And in print I am going for too
      If it ever comes due

      Delete
  19. Replies
    1. that's the danger of visiting cat's litter box, you know :)

      Delete
    2. Yep everything will hurt your brain here
      That is just the price of visiting my little rhyming rear

      Delete
    3. Lots of Advil and caffeine help. :)

      Delete
    4. haha bah who needs that
      Just give in to the cat

      Delete
  20. A Brian book! That is awesome, Pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A Brian book who knew
      That would ever come due..haha

      Delete
  21. Congrats on the new book.
    It never ceases to amaze me how people find various blogs. Your searches are particularly "interesting".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the interesting weirdos find me
      Each and every day at my sea

      Delete
  22. Congrats on the book. WTG on it being about Brian. He is certainly an inspiration to so many ... LOVE the lil blue bird in his bush.. I mean hair LOLOL (Sorry, couldn't resist) LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO yes that doesn't sound good that way
      But it is fun to be there on display
      As the gawker gets a book
      Here at my nook

      Delete
  23. Self publishing is the way to go, i read an article about these millionaire authors who write purely for Amazons kindle audience. The internet is an open look in to peoples consciousness.
    Good luck on your book your quite the renaissance man.
    The furbies made me laugh, such an odd world we live in. I saw this blog once in which a man took pictures of his wife punching people in the face. With the time and dates and no explanation of why.
    If i see her on an mma match one day,all will be clear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah seems to be the way for me
      At least at my sea
      For now anyway
      Be nice to be a millionaire at my bay..haha
      Hmmmm that is rather strange
      To just whack everyone out on the range
      Without even a reason why
      Guess she just wanted to punch someone in the eye

      Delete
  24. Congratulations on the new children's book!!!! So exciting to have two :)

    I love these posts!!! Too funny the silly things that people look up. Figures all those "gas" searches brought you up!! hahahaha I CRACKED up the balls goes up and down. That is GREAT!!! LMAO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep fun to have two
      And hopefully many more to come into view
      LOL never ceases at amaze what I find
      When I look at those who come to see my behind
      hahahahaha well balls do go up and down
      Although some may get tingly and make one frown..haha

      Delete
  25. Congrats on the new book Pat! Wishing you a great weekend with the cat :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have a great weekend too
      Over at your zoo
      With no more sick
      As that is just ick

      Delete
  26. Lol the cover art on that book alone made me laugh! Have a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha there we go
      A laugh works well at my show

      Delete
  27. you're a book making machine!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now this machine
      Just needs to get more seen

      Delete
  28. You are a busy guy Pat--congrats.

    Farts? Boogers? Locker room humor is always well received on this end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Busy as a bee
      Here at my sea
      hahaha so you're the one that searches for such things
      And ends up at my wings..haha

      Delete
  29. That's what I call respect. valentines day+rhyme+butt.... really? I sure hope you won't get any Mom's Day + rhyme + butt. What a condom looks like? Anyone who has to ask is too young to need one. I'm told by Jaya J there's this Louis Vuitton condom for the rich and famous...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah I saw that condom there too
      And I agree with you
      Have to ask
      Forget the task
      And keep it in your pants
      Go fry some ants

      Delete
  30. That's right. And eat them, too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat would do such a thing
      And some ketchup he'd bring

      Delete