Saturday, May 5, 2012

A Dum Dum Here And A Dum Dum There. They Are Every Friggin' Where!

A Newsflash at my dash. A Not So Singular World has gotten many a cheer and info can be found here. As well today you get a double dose too. As a guest post at Elisa's for the cat has come due.

The day started like any other day Pat going once more to his work bay while the cat lies around and pretends to act profound. But I am surely glad that is something I can do for this crap would drive me right to the loo. Some people should just stay locked in a rubber room so they don't bring others doom. Or at least keep their trap shut and lock themselves in their hut.

First comes the stalker,
She was off her rocker.
Trying to pass Pat,
Like an annoying gnat.

Oh the lane is there,
Two lanes is so rare.
I must use it,
Except I'm a twit.

For lets go right beside him,
Proving I am dim.
Then oopsy the lane is gone,
It was all one big con.

For now she is stuck behind once more,
The dum dum did this twice becoming something of lore.
Then comes the dum dum that met him at the door,
Thinking we were a place I will not name at our work shore.

Let's just say the dum dum was quite the moron,
As the sun had begun to dawn.
Then comes one who cannot read,
And is really in need.

Why was I charged double for this?
They say with a hiss.
Hmmm I wonder if it could be because of the big 2!
Looking right at you.

You buy two you get charged for it.
The dum dum knew she was a nitwit.
Trying to pretend the 2 was not there,
So click and she left Pat's work lair.

Then the return of Miss Nostril came,
This time she was more tame.
Having no tp sticking out her butt,
But still had her nose in the air like a nut.

Could probably fit a baseball up there,
Hell, let's make it a pair.
As she whined about this and that,
Like all was written in stone by Pat.

But she went away fast,
As Pat did not make the crap last.
Gave her the crap,
Then ran a lap.

Pretending he had something to do,
And off she went to the loo.
I never saw her behind this time,
So don't know if she committed a tp crime.

More dum dums came and went,
Some had to vent and some just got bent.
But the biggest of all,
Besides maybe the nut who thought an elephant was bigger than the moon that I posted on my wall.

That one was a mouth full to say,
But she was so crazy it comes out that way.
Anyway, this dum dum called looking to get from here to there,
On the computer at her lair.

Pat told her where to go,
And then she let the stupidest thing ever flow.
"Where is the start button?" she asked,
I'm not sure Pat's laughter was masked.

Maybe the pretty button on the bottom left that stays start?
She then hung up after Pat actually said the above part.
It was just too good to pass up.
That dum dum had a real hiccup.

So while the cat sat back and did this and that chewing on the tp at his mat, Pat had to deal with dum dums all day and that is just another typical work day. At least Flappy did not come due that would have just been even more eww. Should get a sign saying dum dums do not trespass then they would not annoy Pat or my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

90 comments:

  1. hehe..i'm first...will be back in a bit...just about to cook lunch for the fam..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First at my sea
      That is unusal for thee

      Delete
  2. Great rhymes, Patt!
    Love this post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Two sentences R and you got here early. My day has been made! But you won't come to my lair to comments, not even a single word will you spare there.

      It really is good to see you here R. You're pretty cool and you've got to come back sometime and play with us silly people.

      Delete
    2. 10 words yesterday
      And 2 sentences today at my bay
      Wow R is on a roll
      He may lose control

      Suck up!
      Must be no liquor in your cup
      R will never come to you
      He uses all his words up at my zoo
      And he knows how evil the alliance is
      With their nasty biz

      Delete
    3. has anyone of you ever visited R's place? Does he'she respond to comments there?

      Delete
    4. Nope does not respond there
      As I go to his/her lair
      And leave a few words
      For the birds

      Delete
    5. Nope, he won't talk to me there either Dez. I've been to his page and he doesn't speak there either. I must wonder cat, what it is you do to entice R to your lair. You're the only one who has him. I'm beginning to think you and R are one in the same person. I mean really, who could actually like you?

      Delete
    6. @Pat
      You gotto dedicate one post to him. More of Q&A with all his answers so far, seems like he likes you alone and he deserves that. Even not Anne. You are blog magnet Pat. :)

      Delete
    7. I don't think R even knows he has his own fan club.
      We need t-shirt that say We Love R. haha.

      Delete
    8. All his posts are news stories he just has set up
      To run without a hiccup
      Prob getting money from the ads and such things
      Over at his wings
      I'm not R
      I already tried two blogs at my bar
      Waaaaaay too much work
      So I stopped that before I went beserk

      LOL don't worry R may factor in soon
      To some post by this loon

      Yeah R has quite the following here
      All thanks to my little rhyming rear

      Delete
    9. yeah, his ego should be all a-glow
      but he doesn't even know!

      Delete
    10. I suggest Pat calls R for an interview and make a post out of it! It would be so interesting :)

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    11. Maybe he does know
      But he is a she and mad at her show

      Pfft be the most boring post ever
      You're the one that does interviews so I'll live that for you to endeavor

      Delete
    12. only if R gives us his scantily clad pics for the interview :)

      Delete
    13. haha you never know about that
      He may not be shy or she may not be flat

      Delete
  3. see...i always knew...the real fun in life are the day jobs we're doing..ha..i could tell quite some stories as well...and what kind of place did he think you were....?.. smiles

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    1. Pffft you cane keep that fun
      I would rather have the work done
      And not go at all
      You can go in my place at my work hall
      That would be fun for me
      And God only knows with my work sea

      Delete
  4. I loved this post so much Pat, awesome writing as usual buddy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Made me pop a vein
      Damn nut jobs causing me pain..haha

      Delete
  5. Tweetle Dee
    and Tweetle Dum
    with an arse so big
    it blocked the sun.
    But none it seems
    can compare with
    this dum dum
    at the loo
    who bought a pair
    and thought it was
    one.

    Why is there always a loo or poo in your posts cat?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the cat has some obsessions Annie
      Lol. I know sigh!!

      Delete
    2. LOL well Dez goes on about the poo
      If I don't put it in he might turn blue
      And then we'd have two blue guys
      And that wouldn't be so wise
      As far as loo goes it rhymes well
      And yes dum dums just aren't swell

      An obession oh dear
      I guess that also is stuck up my little rhyming rear

      Delete
    3. how is me connected with the poo, when you have world's biggest collection of it?

      Delete
    4. You mentioned it a ton
      Even the blue guy saw that one

      Delete
    5. Cat you're the one with all the poo. We just reported what we saw at your lair. How's the viking woman doing? Been sucking on any armpit hair lately?

      Delete
    6. Armpit hair got all shaved off
      So now Pat can't scoff
      As the cat has nothing to chew
      So I have to go give the viking woman's pits a view

      Delete
  6. LOL Have to agree with Anne. As humorous as ever though. Enjoyed it quite a bit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad it was enjoyed as the dum dums came
      And they were oh so lame

      Delete
  7. two baseballs up the nose, a pair hung low grows, thats the way it goes if you pay little attention you know...i hear to avengers you did go and liked it, you suck...ok so maybe not much i just want to see it

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    1. haha two baseballs up the nose would be a ground rule doudle right?
      Or maybe a balk on sight
      Yep saw it before you hahahahaha
      Very very good too
      Ironman and the Hulk stole the show
      You should enjoy when you go

      Delete
  8. Your work sounds like mine...
    Where the dummys are always calling on the line...
    Asking me all sorts of things...
    So I quickly unplug it each time it rings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha that sounds like a plan
      Of which I am a fan
      May have to give it a try
      But then they come in and cry

      Delete
  9. Fit a baseball? Wow. Talking about sucking the air out of ya.
    Talking about nitwits, there is one guy in our office, he cant even pass to join third grade, I dont know how they recruited him, can never sit in his seat for more than 10 mins and to get 10 mins work you need to spend 10 hours with him, like speedbump for jobs. Height of annoyance.
    Yin and Yang of life , gotto live with it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah some people just get pushed through
      But what can we do
      Have to live with each lump as you say
      Each and every day

      Delete
  10. every dum is dum if there's no rum!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. there, cat, I gave some depth to your silly post today :P

      Delete
    2. I suppose that was so insightful I must faint
      Or get some black paint
      And cover it up on my wall
      So no one will roll their eyes at my hall

      Delete
    3. Dez is in fine form today cat. Yes black would be preferable to the drivel you throw at us day in and day out cat. Dez just came in to put some colorful graffiti on you jungle of doom.

      Delete
    4. Always complaining about the black
      Maybe I will have to spruce up my shack
      So then you and the penguin man
      Will have no choice but to be a bigger fan
      I'll spray paint away
      Putting things on your forehead for all to see and laugh at, at your bay

      Delete
    5. it's true, my eyes go half blind with this mix of white letters on black background. You should be honoured you're the only one with such layout whom I follow (notice my word FOLLOW not READ) :)

      Delete
    6. Oh I'm so honored now
      I might even give a meow
      So what is a better color than blog design know it all
      Black and blue at my hall..haha

      Delete
    7. but seriously, Pat, I'm not joking now, most people have problems reading white letters on black or very dark background since the letters become shaky and blurry to most of us, especially if we wear glasses or lenses. That's why it's a general rule around the blogosphere to avoid such combo.

      Delete
    8. Hmmm I remember you told me that a while ago
      But I thought you were joking at my show
      Never knew that at all
      Hmmmm maybe an update truly is in order for my hall
      Have to see if I can find some colors I like
      And that don't make ones eyes want to take a hike

      Delete
  11. I posted today you vicious feline. Now get your head up out of your arse and comment!! I'm going out to play in my garden while you look for your brain in that black hole.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pffft the feline came
      He was playing the sleeping in game
      Getting up to early
      Makes him all squirrely
      So no need for that
      To bother the cat
      Have fun with your garden filled with poo
      Oh the things I do

      Delete
    2. the feline came? How is that possible when you're snip snip?

      Delete
    3. Aren't you a funny one
      Mind in the gutter a ton

      Delete
    4. I'm not the one to miss the joke with come without a preposition :)

      Delete
    5. Not one to miss the joke
      As you have fun making some choke

      Delete
  12. Dum dums make the world go round
    they can be found in every bay
    they make my head pound and pound
    when they speak, I want to bray.

    But without them we would have nothing to complain
    they make one's life interesting, just sayin'

    Have a good day
    in every way!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True it makes for a post at least
      For this furry beast
      Be nice if I could make them disappear
      Maybe if they really went up the bosses rear
      Then I'd cheer
      Although for him that could strike fear

      Delete
  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. oh, Petsy, was that a love message you erased for the cat? :PPP

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    2. it was for you, Dez...but I got too shy and deleted it! :)

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    3. Removed you say
      Hmmm I guess Petsy was having an off day
      Especailly if it was a love letter to you
      I'm glad I wasn't around to view

      Delete
    4. my decoding team tells me Petsy revealed her tender love for moi in order to become a new angel in the Alliance angel army :)

      Delete
    5. Pffft if it is those pathetic penguins decoding the message for you
      They prob got everything backwards and upside down too

      Delete
  14. I would empathize with Pat's dilemma, but it makes for the funniest of rhymes!

    I'll go check the guest post now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol yeah it does make for such fun
      So hard to empathize and not give it a rhyming run

      Delete
  15. Where is the start button again?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Figures you were the one to call
      Maybe you're better off hanging out at the mall..haha

      Delete
  16. Haha and I was waiting for the flapmeister to be that last straw, but luck was won, as only the dum dums did run. I bet Flappy follows you, uses some code name or such, just to ever annoy, to this I'm sure the dum dums would enjoy. Yeah, I guess the buy two pay for one deal isn't big in Canada. And to think, when I saw the title on the reader page, I thought, wow, he's doing a lollipop rhyme. But as fun as that would've been, this I'm sure was much more entertaining. Will have to check out the guest post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha a lollipop rhyme
      I could make sublime
      But didn't go there
      Thanks to the work lair
      Flappy has been absent for a while
      So haven't had to listen to her trap run a mile
      Which is a good thing for me
      Here at bush number three

      Delete
  17. I want you to know that the book trailer is stuck in my head
    will probably still be there when I go to bed.
    what would people say if I started singing out loud?
    They would think my head was in a cloud!
    Tapping my toe
    to that banjo
    Singing with that southern drawl
    oh, it might make some people bawl!
    hahahahaha!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL why did you give that a run?
      Just to have some good fun
      That would be interesting to see
      Or hear from thee
      As you bellowed out into the crowd
      Good and loud..haha

      Delete
  18. If it wasn't for these people, where Oh where would you get all of your material~! Dum dum diddle...LOL without the tp ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha I could still get some
      And I least they wouldn't try and drive me to the rum

      Delete
  19. Ha! I can almost feel the frustration leaking from this one. Oh well, it takes all kinds of people to make up a world, unfortunately the dumbdumb ratio is awkwardly skewed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it does seem to be a higher ratio of them around
      As many a dum dum can be found

      Delete
  20. I think I'd rather be chewing on TP than dealing with woopity friggin Dum Dums!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that sounds like a plan
      Of which the cat is a fan

      Delete
  21. I always make sure my crap lasts lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL at least you make it worth while
      However vile

      Delete
  22. Replies
    1. Just my fate
      A spammer at my gate

      Delete
  23. To bad you couldn't be like me
    and spend your summer by the sea.
    Lying upon the beach in the sand;
    not permitting a dum dum to land.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh please oh please tell me how that is done
      I really need some sun
      I didn't win the lottery the other day
      So unless you have a secret I'm stuck at dum dum land at my work bay..lol

      Delete
  24. LMAO You use the phrase dum dums? OHH, I loveee that!!! hahahahahaha

    The Start button one isn't too bad, but the first and second ones are pretty awful. And don't worry about not seeing Flappy...you're girlfriend will be back soon and I have a very nice report all typed out ;) LMAO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha yeah I use dum dums quite a bit
      As around me there are plenty of nitwits
      The start isn't so bad?
      Hmmm maybe just a tad
      The rest were pretty bad too
      So I can agree with you
      Stupid Flappy will not get such a report
      I will block it before you are able to send your retort

      Delete
  25. Ha..ha..I like the dum dum rhymes

    This made my day or night Pat ~

    Now I have to visit Dez to see what he is up to :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I can make your night or day
      Either way
      Works for me
      As the dum dums show up and cause no glee

      Delete
  26. the world is suffering from a sudden but immense influx in the number of dum dums. Just stay strong, pat and cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will try and stay strong
      But all these dum dums are just so wrong

      Delete
  27. Replies
    1. Clever
      It seems to be at my sea forever

      Delete
  28. and this is why I'm unemployed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha it does have its perks I suppose
      Still might leave on with no shoes for their toes

      Delete
  29. I want to get a sign like that LOL!

    dum dums do not trespass--that should keep the solicitors away :0)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yes that should work
      Might cause the dum dums though to go beserk

      Delete