Tuesday, May 8, 2012

A dVerse Hum About Your Gum!

There is nothing worse okay maybe there is stuff that is worse and more perverse, but one thing that will surely make one curse is when they touch some gum under that table at any place including dVerse. Not sure they do that as the cat doesn't look under the tables at their mat. But plenty more do and so the cat feels he has to give them a clue.

Take a bow,
You can chew like a cow.
And oopsy daisy,
Prove you are lazy.

As you stick the gum under the table,
While you rush home to watch cable.
Can't miss your reality TV.
You have to know if plastic face gets her stupidity degree.

Which you may have just won.
Doesn't that sound like fun?
No wonder you are a fan,
And can't find a garbage can.

I mean they are so hard to find,
A counter they could be behind.
Oh no!
There may be a whole row.

Which one would you choose?
That really has to confuse.
Or it could be filled up,
Gum would surely overflow its cup.

After all the garbage can could blow a bubble,
And then it could double.
That garbage is not only icky,
But it is so tricky.

Maybe your sniffer is broke,
And you choke.
Unable to find the can,
Like any normal man.

Or you could be blinded by the sun.
That is a good one.
Unable to see the sign,
In the place where you dine.

Or oh my god it couldn't be!
There is a flap there covering the garbage can you see.
That is just so much work to push that in,
And shove the gum in the garbage bin.

You might strain a muscle,
From such a tussel.
Or the garbage can monster might grab you.
That is completely and utterly true.

They will suck you right in,
Making you live in the garbage bin.
So forget that,
And shove the gum under a table or mat.

Now if you believed any of this,
Then something is a miss.
Besides you being a lazy turd.
And that is the cat's final word.

Okay maybe not as the cat still has to sign off but I'm sure no one will scoff. All that from looking under the table. I guess that is what one would call a gum fable. Or maybe another rant here at my rhyming plant. Either way it has come to pass and that is all today from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

154 comments:

  1. That line about the stupidity degree cracked me up Pat, awesome rhymes as always. Do you think that gum chewers in general are stupid or just those who put gum at the bottom of a table? Those who put gum on chairs are worse as well, the day I sat on one and it got stuck caused me undue hell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just the lazy ones that don't throw it in the trash
      Carry the stupid rash
      The chair is nasty too
      That is just ewww
      The deserve a good smack
      For such an attack

      Delete
  2. Yikes for sticking the gum under the table ~
    That is a lazy thing to do ~
    Have a good day Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is a lazy thing to do every time
      Should be a crime
      Give them a fine
      That would be divine

      Delete
  3. hey, pat! this rhyme totally reminds me of being reprimanded in middle school for chewing my gum "like a cow" my teacher used to say. haha. great read to start my day! have a great day, pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My mom always said that...don't chew gum like a cow...or walk like a horse. lol.

      Delete
    2. LOL chewing like a cow I've heard a few times about others as well
      I never chewed gum I will tell
      And still don't too
      Glad you had a good start from my zoo

      LOL see Gawker Island was one to something by giving you all those animal parts the other day
      As you already have two and one makes you neigh

      Delete
    3. haha..yes, and if you walk like a horse as you moo
      the paddy wagon will surely come after you!
      Add chewing gum and they'll pull out their gun!
      lol.

      Delete
    4. And you'll get tasered and chucked into a rubber room
      Where you'll talk about world ending doom
      And be hopped up on meds
      Some even strapped to beds

      Delete
  4. ah but worse, and this might make your OCD cursed it to pull off some old and give it a chew, ABC rubber make you wanna spew, seriously though how lazy can you be, do they sit in the desk when they need to pee....DEPENDS, i guess...ha, but gum sticking up under is a nonsensical blunder....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ABC rubber...lol! I used to save my own gum overnight so I could chew it the next day. But I was like 7 years old. Don't do that anymore. Gee...gum must have been in short supply back then for me to think I had to do that! LOL!

      Delete
    2. Oh that is completely and utterly nasty indeed
      One surely must be in need
      To even think about such a thing
      As many nasty germs that could bring
      LOL nice crack with the Depends as well
      Although that must surely smell

      A gum saver
      Did it still have flavor?
      You were just trying to save
      And not make your gum end up in an early grave

      Delete
  5. Bleh!!! Why do people stick gum under there? Disgusting!!!! hahahaha Although, I will admit to sticking my gum under the movie theater seat when I was younger. I swear I was young. I swear!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Geez so disappointed once more
      Doing such a thing at your shore
      I bet it could still be there rotting away too
      And what did the poor seat ever do to you?..lol
      But yeah is nasty indeed
      And as can be shown by you people do wise up at their feed..haha

      Delete
  6. It's under
    the table
    and in your
    hair and
    you won't like it
    at your lair.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On on your shoe
      is just ewww.

      Delete
    2. Nasty in every way
      But my hair is okay
      Not a sign of it one bit
      So you can chew on it

      On my shoe
      Is nasty too
      But at least it doesn't touch me
      Just hard to get off at my sea

      Delete
    3. I know people who stick the gum behind their ear and then continue chewing it later on..

      Delete
    4. Well as long as they clean behind their ear
      I guess worse things can cause fear

      Delete
    5. That's disgusting. Imagine the bits of hair and skin follicles attached to the gum. Stranger stuff have been imagined in the minds of men.

      Delete
    6. But it is better than eating it off the table or off the ground
      Plus there at least only your germs are found

      Delete
  7. Now Verucca Salt
    she should have
    had a malt
    but overcome
    by chewing gum
    and turning blue
    and spinning round
    she grew to
    proportions epic
    and had to spew.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A rock band should have a malt
      Well it is your fault
      You sucked make all the liquor
      Now all they can do is chew gum and bicker

      Delete
    2. I wasn't talking about a band silly billy, I meant the character from Willy Wonka.

      Delete
    3. Oh well that works too
      With an oompa loompa in view
      Although those orange guys can annoy
      As they try to cause joy

      Delete
  8. I've been the victim of this curse but from the victim of the gum on my knee from under the table, definitely not glee!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me, too! Once in high school...it was still warm, sticky and ruined my skirt. I was furious!

      Delete
    2. Nasty to the both of you
      That would surely be ewww
      All those germs just sitting there
      Now on what you wear
      Or don't wear if you have shorts on
      Or are um in your birthday suit at your lawn

      Delete
    3. me and the angry lurker in birthday suits
      that is not a picture I want to pursue.
      lol....

      Delete
    4. Nope you can keep that picture away
      From my bay

      Delete
  9. Nice rhymes as usual, Patt!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. is Pat your real name, Pat? Or is it Patrice or Patrick?

      Delete
    2. Techinically Patrick is my real name
      But Pat Hatt gets all the fame

      Delete
    3. OMG, you're Sponge Boob's best friend!

      Delete
    4. He's a star in his own mind and in a childrens story under the sea.

      Delete
    5. well, he did always had the wits of Sponge Bob's Patrick :)

      Delete
    6. Pfft you're all just jealous of my fame
      But for that I cannot blame

      Delete
  10. Such convenience to stick it under
    But not acting fair to all others
    Anti-social elements like no other
    Just so no one really bothers

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well when there is a garbage can two feet away
      Not sure convenience is on display
      Just lazy is what they are
      Maybe they should fall in tar

      Delete
  11. Nope, I didn't believe any of this
    so in my bay there is nothing a miss!
    So that's that
    feed the cat
    or he'll chase a rat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the cat will chase the rat away
      Each and every day
      Especailly if he chews gum
      Then I'll eat him and he'll come out my bum

      Delete
  12. Under the table is a gum cemetery
    so when you sit down, do be wary
    Best not to raise your knee
    or worse yet, take a peek.
    It's better to be oblivious
    than to look at the hideous
    line of bubble gum corpse
    stuck there hard at quartz.
    lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like that Betsy. Much better than the cats rhyme today. Speaking of cat, where's he gone off to?

      Delete
    2. Well at least if it is quartz it will not stick
      Although it is stick ick
      And then wash your hands good
      If touch it you should
      For any corpse is blah all over
      Even that of rover

      Pffft damn sucking up Irish Air
      I hope you get gum in your hair
      The cat slept in
      At his bin

      Delete
    3. Just wait cat I'm going to make you into a pirate cat miniature. And although you treat me like dirt, I'll paint you up perfectly.

      Delete
    4. well, thanks dear anne
      I think you are grand.
      Tried my own gum rhyme
      and had a good time.
      It came out pretty well
      even though the cat thinks it's hell.
      lol.

      You slept in?
      Oh, it's Flappy night again!
      hahaha.

      Delete
    5. Paint it up perfectly and then try to win
      But even a miniture will throw poo on your chin
      And you will lose
      But that is the same old news

      Yep Flappy night at work
      As I sit here and lurk
      And you can beat the drum
      To any old gum
      The cat doesn't care
      Rhyme away at my lair

      Delete
  13. Gum under the table is not a nice thing to do.
    Do they stick other things under there? Things that they chew?
    It starts out sticky then it turns all hard.
    Not a nice thing to do in another person's yard!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I bet they stick most anything under there
      Could find something rare
      Inbetween the gum
      That some might find yum
      And use later as a snack
      When they go on the attack

      Delete
  14. its really annoying when that happens, Pat. sometimes, you get them on running lanes in the park and if you couldn't miss them in time, you spend some tedious time removing it from the sole !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it is all about on the ground
      Especailly where running lanes are found
      A pain in the butt to get off ones shoe
      But I suppose it beats dog poo

      Delete
  15. I was hoping Jax had popped in so I could ask her if Great Adventure still had the Wall of Gum when you waited on line at that one ride that I can't remember the name of....which is why I was hoping Jax would be here...oh well....it was in a cave...anyway...

    At my first "real" job, I got in trouble by my boss all the time because I answered the phone and cracked my gum into the receiver. He found it a tad bit annoying when I snapped and popped the gum in his ear. Sheesh! Picky!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Elsie, it's STILL there!!!!! Ew that wall of gum is gross. Although, I admit, mine is there!!! You sit in that little egg shaped thing into the haunted house of a door full of gum. LMAO I always wondered why they never clean it!! hahahahahaha Didn't even thikn of that.

      Delete
    2. haha a gum cracker
      Made your boss an attacker
      Should have known not to do that
      At your work mat
      At least with the boss
      But at least with your smacking for words he was never at a loss..haha

      I take it this is a NY place
      That has a gum wall that appears in your face
      That is just nasty to hear
      Now NYer's even more I fear..haha

      Delete
    3. LMAO!! Tears are rolling down my face right now. That is so gross! No, Pat, it's actually an amusement park in NJ that we all go to because it's so close to NY. But since I'm old enough to be Jax's mom (pretty much)....that shows you how old and nasty and disgusting that Wall of Gum is!! How old and nasty and disgusting the Wall of Gum is, Pat...not me!! Just saying...before the cat decides to attack. haha

      Delete
    4. OMG Elsie, you do know that telephones and office tables have more faecal bacteria on them, than toilet bowls have....

      Delete
    5. Blah that is so nasty indeed
      One should take heed
      And get rid of such a wall
      No matter how tall or small
      Yes I get it was the wall of gum
      But it's good to head the cat off before he attacks with his little rhyming bum..haha

      Yeah that is just very very nasty too
      My ocd is being irked by all of you

      Delete
    6. Cat you've got faecal matter in your hair. Scientists say you're disgusting.

      Delete
    7. @ Dez - I saw a report on television about that fecal matter on keyboards and phones and started bringing lysol wipes to work...eewww!! How can people not wash their hands??? Gross!!

      @Pat-Yes, I have started to become paranoid whenever stopping by your bay...I fear attack of the cat and now cans filled of poo

      Delete
    8. Pfft the cat licks it clean
      You are just obscene

      People not washing their hands is nasty in every way
      And since you joined the crummy alliance you should fear an attack from my bay..haha

      Delete
    9. Jaxy has also asked to be accepted into the Alliance today, she likes the general position in our areal army.

      Delete
    10. She will just report back to me
      And spy for the cat at your alliance sea

      Delete
  16. Replies
    1. For this
      R makes a better hiss

      Delete
    2. hahaha. I agree. R beats Lex hands down.

      Delete
    3. Yep R wins at my bin
      That is just a sin

      Delete
  17. Replies
    1. You and the one above
      Are really promoting R love

      Delete
  18. Maybe Singapore did the right thing by banning gum. Not too sure if it's still banned these days.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It actually banned gum?
      Hmmm never heard such a hum
      Not a bad idea I guess
      Although maybe other things should be banned first I will confess

      Delete
  19. This is second post about gum I am reading.
    http://ggc151.blogspot.com/2012/05/gum-shoes-douche-bags.html
    Instead of arrested people for twitter messages and facebook pictures government could trace the DNA in gums and lock them and make them walk on gums. Or follow Singapore and ban bubblegums.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well there is a lot of DNA there
      So I'm sure they could do such an affair
      And track them down
      Making them frown
      For them gum sticking ways
      Locking them up for days

      Delete
  20. gum is terrible in clothes I know LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah nasty in every way
      When on display
      Also Gloria your blog won't work
      Says it does not exist when I come to lurk

      Delete
    2. strict teachers here in Serbia used to stick a gum into your hair if they caught you chewing it during the lesson :)

      Delete
    3. Dear:)))) my blog come back now was deleted by a time, was scared! but I can fix. !

      Delete
    4. I have to say I dont delete, was a blogging problem

      Delete
    5. LOL that would surely deter gum chewing
      And have some parent prob spewing

      I don't delete
      I knew before long it would beat the heat

      Delete
    6. You can laugh but sometimes I think in delete. Or close my blog but today I feel scared lol

      Delete
    7. Scared of the blog fairy
      That will delete you for each blueberry...haha

      Delete
    8. Just a tad
      But it is to be expected of this lad

      Delete
  21. The other day Melynda watched a homeless guy pick some gum off of the street and start chewing it. Sooo crazy! I wish I could find him. I'd give him a whole pack of the stuff. Anything's better than picking it off of the street!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blah I'd give him a whole pack of gum too
      For that is just plain eww
      More germs from that than any table
      And that is no fable

      Delete
  22. no joking, but I once saw a man who took a gum from under the table, and continued to chew it with great delight... what a horrid horrid sight! And I once saw a girlfriend taking a gum out of her mouth and giving it to her boyfriend to chew..
    And I once stepped into someone's gum in my new, very expensive, flip flops....
    And bleeding gums is a huge problem of modern society,but that's for some other time....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cats got rectal bleeding Dez. I think if they looked up there they'd find the lost city of Atlantis.

      Delete
    2. heh, that's just nasty, Annzie :)))

      Delete
    3. sharing gum....um...
      WTH? That is just disgusting...boyfriend or not.

      Delete
    4. Geez soo much on gum
      That makes my ocd glum
      Oh that is all just nasty in every way
      Especailly the table one who did such a display
      At least the bf and gf already swap spit
      The table one could have come from any old twit

      Anne is just nasty altogether though
      That we already know

      Delete
    5. yep, you get the taste of strawberry and saliva and some dental plaque :))))

      Delete
    6. Sound oh so yum
      I have no idea why more don't share gum

      Delete
  23. I'm afraid to even look! Nasty!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yeah that is a wise fear
      For the bottom of the table is hardly ever clear

      Delete
  24. In the UK it had gotten so bad with gum on the pavement(sidewalks) that instead of the slabs being white they were turned black from all the old gum spat out on them. In winter it's not so bad to walk on but once it warms up and the gum begins to soften, it was a nightmare to walk on it all. London is bad and so was my hometown of Brighton. Here, there's hardly any gum but, it's starting to appear now too. Disgusting stuff. LOL as for some of the comments about someone pulling it from under the table and eating it....Eeeeewwww.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blah that is just nasty altogether
      Only visit London in cold weather
      Getting all of that stuck to ones shoe
      Is just complete eww
      Yeah that is nasty as well
      Can't believe anyone would ever think such a thing was swell

      Delete
  25. I think we just figured out what happened to Oscar the grouch! He tried putting gum in a garbage can and got sucked in! Don't put gum in the garbage! Eat it! Yum! (then visit the porsilen bowl)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually it supposedly takes a long ass time to digest
      So it can linger about inside you and be a pest

      Delete
  26. Are people still doing that? It's disgusting and impossible to get that stuff off. Janitors, or whoever has to deal with it, could never be paid enough. Your cat is too kind to call them "lazy turds." Great job with this rant. I couldn't agree more.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah people still do it each day
      To many others dismay
      Couldn't pay me enough to look after that crap
      Well maybe if it was a big pay gap
      Couldn't agree more
      That is hardly heard at my shore..haha

      Delete
  27. You addressed so many fears, including getting sucked into the garbage can.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Getting sucked in is quite the fear
      So don't get too near

      Delete
  28. Replies
    1. That is the nature of gum
      Nastier than a plum

      Delete
  29. You tell 'em, Pat Hatt:
    This's where it's at!
    Keep your gum off my table.
    Do you live in a stable?
    You grew up in a zoo?
    What's wrong with you?
    That's what you should ask 'em,
    these gum sticking madmen.
    Hope that garbage can wipes 'em out!
    They're a pain in the ___ without a doubt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep a complete pain in the ass
      I may have to get crass
      If I see it myself
      At my work shelf
      But they hide it rather well
      Thinking they are swell

      Delete
  30. deply mooo!ving - i stood in a cow Pat! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Quite the moo
      Better wipe your shoe

      Delete
  31. the cat's word is well deserved
    when i was young i did that with gum
    now i see it and swear a ton
    we know the cat will be back
    he always returns to his shack
    stupidity degree also really got me
    with a full-bodied hee-hee
    i rarely miss my reality tv
    g

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha seems younger one does not mind
      But after that it makes ones teeth grind
      Good thing not to miss too
      That is very true

      Delete
  32. Ha loved that analogy about reality tv

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah of that crappy stuff
      I have had enough

      Delete
  33. Loved the stupidity degree--fun and funny!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah many can win that
      With ease at their mat

      Delete
  34. As you stick the gum under the table,
    While you rush home to watch cable.....yuck :) fun and good :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yuck indeed for all
      As they have to give their reality tv call

      Delete
  35. Something about rhymes and gum...I don't know what it is but it seems like a good mix. I think the cat agrees with me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the cat surely agrees
      As he gave it a breeze
      And not his fleas
      On anyones knees

      Delete
  36. Oh I hate finding gum underneath a table. What makes people think that's okay? Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah and then the lazy bums have the nerve to complain when gum gets stuck on them at some point
      Serves them right and I hope it gets their nose out of joint

      Delete
  37. You always treat me to a smile. Your rhymes are funny and humor, of course, tells much truth. Hope none of us finds any gum under tables, mats or shoes. Thanks for this one. Enjoyed much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you got a smile
      Even if the gum is vile
      As I always have fun
      Here under my sun

      Delete
  38. The cat got his panties in a twist over this one. Gum in his fur must be quite the nightmare, hope you keep peanut butter on hand.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat doesn't wear panties that you very much
      Well he did once on his head and such
      But we won't go there
      And the gum is gone at my lair..haha

      Delete
  39. YOU HAD TO WRITE ABOUT SOMEONE LAZY??? oh my!!! I am in the process of evicting a Lazy tenant, who is sooooo lazy she moved out, but is using my house a a storage unit because she's tooo lazy to find someone to help her move her things out. meanwhile, her "roommate" broke down the front door, and she's too lazy to have that fixed, so her things could get stolen. i just want this to end!! and you HAD to write about someone lazy to remind me about her. GEEEEZZZ!!!! ;P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL wow don't hold it in
      At my bin
      Tell me how you really feel
      Do you need a happy meal?..LOL
      Sounds like a pain in the ass indeed
      With her crap growing their like a weed
      I'd chuck it in the ditch
      Or give it a good pitch
      in the garbage can
      Of that plan I am a fan

      Delete
    2. you speak of garbage can?
      her garbage flies in the wind
      man, oh, man

      you speak of crap growing like a weed
      i wonder what she planted, what kind of seed

      i'd love to give her stuff a good pitch
      cuz she's a real frackin' bitch!!!

      Delete
    3. LMAO the life of having crapp tenants you can keep
      Although pitching her stuff into the deep
      Would be quite grand
      After all it is your land

      Delete
  40. I hate finding gum under the table. My kids always check for it when we go out to eat. It's unbelievable how many times they find some. Stupid friggin lazy bums!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I hope they don't touch it though
      As that would just be ewww doing such a thing if gum were to show

      Delete
  41. What long was today all the comments lol
    I cant read all
    what special and different people are in your lair:)
    Good night Pat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah tons came my way
      On that bright day
      As I guess gum is fun
      Under my rhyming sun

      Delete
  42. haha...sitting in a garbage can while writing this...and now i know who it is that sticks his gums under the dVerse pub tables --ha-- but i don't mind if they have a strawberry taste ya know...smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are hiding in the trash?
      Damn don't get a bad rash
      Also I hope it has been emptied as well
      That would just not be swell

      Delete
  43. Cat may feel like a king, sitting on top of the world.... but dumpster-diving for gum under the table just ain't cool.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes that is very very nasty indeed
      But many do it at their feed
      So take heed
      It's all about gum greed

      Delete
  44. I got some gum yesterday. It was that Extra Mint ice cream flavored stuff. It's pretty good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just after chewing throw it in the trash
      Or I will send you a bad rash

      Delete
  45. Oh god, I hate that feeling so much. Seriously, what asshole goes out and does that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well ask and you get an answer at my sea
      Now we know Shaw is nasty

      Delete
  46. 'Plastic Face gets her stupidity degree'. Genius.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha and so true too
      Stupid reality tv needs to be flushed down the loo

      Delete
  47. Yet another rhyming masterpiece. Always enjoy my visits here Pat. Your's is a very unique voice in our poetic community.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoy a visit to my sea
      As you unique I can surely be
      And a tad crazy
      But never too lazy

      Delete
  48. Not many things grosser than being out at a restaurant, putting your hands under the table and yuck…a piece of gum…There are worse things, but that is gross as gross can sing. And I for one, would never want to live inside a garbage bin…would be most foul.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah would be foul
      Make many howl
      I keep my hands away from below
      As it is to nasty and I don't want to know

      Delete
  49. You are a genius with these rhymes and I always love reading them : )

    Gum under the table is good, but I also liked this one:
    Maybe your sniffer is broke,
    And you choke.
    Unable to find the can,
    Like any normal man.

    Cracked me up from begining to end and I really needed a laugh, today! Thanks!
    Eva Von Pelt

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I could give you a laugh in need
      As that is all I try to do at my feed

      Delete
  50. I always enjoy reading your posts. Keep up the good work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoy each one
      As I always try and have fun

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