Tuesday, May 1, 2012

A dVerse Nightmare At My Lair!

So with the A to Z I was a bit constricted at my sea. Or at least I pretended to be for I still blabbed on about whatever came to me. Then I just pretended to make it work by picking a word from it with a smirk. Oops! Did you think I really planned out each word? Sorry for tricking you, feel free to flip me the bird. Just watch out for you might pout and shout as the cat bites most nights.

Anyway, as I was saying the cat never got to use some dVerse ideas here and there and so I saved them up for later on for many to glare and so comes forth the nightmare. Although it is going to have such flair.

Naked in a crowd?
Who cares? Stand proud.
Unless you were in the pool,
Then things may not be so cool.

Falling off a roof?
Well just go poof.
Now there is a nicely comfy bush,
That also has a tush.

Stuck in a rubber room?
That doesn't spell doom.
Bounce your way to the moon,
Who cares if you think you're really a cartoon?

Trapped in a small space?
Grab a pen and trace.
Now you have a door,
And can sprawl across the floor.

A cat chewing on your armpit hair,
Oops that happened at my lair.
What? Don't glare.
The cat has a thing for that which is rare.

Shot in an alley?
Change it to a valley.
With a wide open space,
Where you were only hit by a shoe lace.

Choking on awful food.
Yeah that can be crude.
But make an enemy appear,
And spit it at them when they come near.

An elevator falling to the earth?
Or stuck in it giving birth?
Umm disappear and run away.
Either is a bad display.

Win the lottery and now your sunk,
For all even a skunk,
Stick out their hand.
Jump to an anonymous land.

Eat a diseased rat?
Make the disease scat,
By finding the cure in a drawer,
Or crap it out on the floor.

The point of the cat is clear,
That in a nightmare there is no need for fear.
For when taking such a stroll,
One can be in control.

Change the view to fit you,
And don't let it come due.
Prevent the crap,
Get a good nap.

Then the nightmares will be fun,
As the bad things are done.
Unless you like mooning a crowd.
Then once again stand proud.

Or would that be bend over?
Maybe that is a question for rover.
That is a real nightmare there,
So I will end it before things are scene that are bare.

The cat did his usual dance but that is his stance. For all it takes is a quick glance and you can snap yourself out of a nightmare trance. The power of the mind is vast and it can change fast. So give it a pass and you can thank my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

129 comments:

  1. Yeah, the A-Z Challenge is over, and wow...cat runneth over.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat keeps on a trucking at my sea
      Nothing new to post every day at bush number three

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Second actually though
      So close at my show

      Delete
  3. change the view to fit you, esp when the dreams go BOO, i have had a few, and several i def did no feel in control, the beasties giving me a roll, might have to try drawing a ladder if i am ever in too dark a hole...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah there are a few that gets past me
      But most at my tree
      I can change into what I wish
      Especially if I'm being forced to eat a nasty dish

      Delete
  4. Nice one Pat but are you not worried by the bitch slapping from Anne today?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You would think he would be, but that cat's been dropped on his head so many times he's got no sense at all. When he's not busy licking his arse, he's collecting his poo in a Pringle's can. Isn't he disgusting?

      Delete
    2. he even has big dreams of selling his collection at Sotheby's :)

      Delete
    3. Bah I don't worry about Anne
      She is just like a fan
      Full of hot air
      Thus the nickname at my lair..LOL

      A little disgusting to some
      Does not mean I will stop licking my bum
      The pringle cans will remain full and waiting
      Until they get rip and can get a higher rating

      After all
      I want to sell them at Sotheby's hall

      Delete
    4. You have no shame cat. A cat whose proud of licking his arse, suckling underarm hair and putting his poo in a Pringles can and selling auctioning said poo at Sotheby's is a cat that needs to take a one-way trip to the vets.

      Delete
    5. Well thankfully this cat is proud of his tp chewing too
      So he doesn't fit the description given by you
      And will still be around
      Taking no trips to the vet or pound

      Delete
  5. You can control how to end your nightmares??? Wow...I can't even wake myself up sometimes. LOL

    But, is a cat chewing on your underarm hair really considered a nightmare? Hmm...I'm going to look that one up in a dream dictionary!!!!! hahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd be afraid to find out what Freud would say about a dream like that.

      Delete
    2. even Freud would be shocked.... but it definitely has something to do with some sex issue....

      Delete
    3. 90% of the time I can control them when they start to come
      Other times they knock me on my bum
      Or just try and kill me
      Then I wake up at my sea

      LOL no, sadly that is considered real life
      He causes so much strife
      I have dreamt it to though
      After he actually did it at my show

      Freud can bite me
      As he was in love with his mommy

      But if I can shock him too
      That would be fun to do

      Delete
    4. It's because the trauma of the snip snip still haunts him Dez. I bet he's even got his willie and such saved in a jar and displayed on his mantel at home.

      Delete
    5. Hmmm you never know
      It could be there for all to show
      But can you find it
      As it is shriveled up a bit

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    6. It was probably shriveled before the snip snip. How big of a microscope did they have to use to find it?

      Delete
    7. Well I was only 6 months old
      So it wasn't very bold

      Delete
    8. LMAO!!! There's only reasonable solution to this whole mess. Shave. It's time to shave your pits!!

      Delete
    9. LMAO but then Gerard would forsake me for sure with that
      Even though it maybe sorta umm has already been done by Pat

      Delete
  6. I like the mind control, but not the nightmare scenes
    you wrote in some verses, which i won't repeat,
    but maybe eating some ice cream and chocolates would
    help to say goodbye to some creepy and awful scenes ~

    Happy day to the rhyming crew ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What some of them weren't grand
      Here a tmy land?
      Don't you want to have one or two
      Come due?.haha

      Delete
  7. A room of rubber
    I could not bear
    but better than
    a cat
    chewing on my
    armpit hair.
    But you
    naked in a crowd
    now that
    gives me a scare.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd actually love to be in that crowd and behold cat's hairy bum! It would be a sight to see and I'd even take a pic or two for the tabloid use....

      Delete
    2. LOL well would it scare the alliance away
      And let my win at my bay?
      If so you may get such a display
      To cause all but Dez dismay

      Delete
    3. Nothing but your demise is a puddle of your own pee will keep the Alliance away. We've only just begun cat, only just begun.

      Delete
    4. LOL well I suppose you will have to try harder than ever
      For the cat is far too clever

      Delete
    5. I've just received a picture of your hairy bum cat and it's covered in pus filled boils. Tell me cat, when you have your bum boils lanced do you drink the puss like milk?

      Delete
    6. Yeah it saves on Pat having to give me actual things to drink
      And tastes better than water from the kitchen sink

      Delete
    7. You plumb the depths of disgusting like you plumb the depths of that Viking woman cat.

      Delete
    8. Well you wanted to know
      Bringing it up at my show
      Be careful what you wish for
      For you will get that and so much more

      Delete
    9. I'm still haunted by that Viking woman and those trash can lids.

      Delete
    10. hahaha but she is so fine
      You should just see her all bare and divine

      Delete
    11. And she can rhyme, too? Never knew Irish women were so versatile.

      Delete
    12. Yeah must be the liquor
      But that's bad for the ticker

      Delete
  8. Cat chewing on your armpit hair..nothing could be more euuuw than that. Are you saying dVerse gives you these nightmare? Brian..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is pretty ewww
      Sad but true
      Brian and dVerse does give nightmares
      Gives them by the pairs

      Delete
  9. An elevator falling to the earth has been a part of my nightmare once.
    Upon waking up, I felt like a dunce

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I had one too
      But that was one where I changed the view
      And all was fine
      As I towed the line

      Delete
  10. A bush with a tush and naked and standing tall....LOL and a cat that bites armpit hair... Yikes, what a nightmare!
    Oh my goodness, see...you got me trying to RHYME again! Haha :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha got you rhyming away
      Such fun to do at my bay
      Guess that's a nightmare for you
      Have to keep making it come due

      Delete
  11. It can spell doom this nightmare
    But you get out of it unscathed
    Then the Cat chewing armpit hair
    Never as much as a real scare
    Insufficient to be a hair ball
    No not a nightmare after all

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope it was not a nightmare
      I wish it was at my lair
      Nasty friggin cat
      Likes to torture Pat

      Delete
  12. you mean if me draws a black hole in the floor, the cat might fall through it? Where's my quilt, where's my pen?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just make sure you send me some place nice
      Where the cat can eat plenty of mice

      Delete
    2. Do they have mice in Hell Dez? Let's send him there so he can lick Satan's arse for a change.

      Delete
    3. no we shall send him to a dog pound, they love cats there...

      Delete
    4. Those dogs couldn't handle me
      And satan would laugh with glee
      And send me back
      Because he wants me to attack

      Delete
    5. Satan has a special place for you in is Hell of Flames cat. You're pure evil.

      Delete
    6. Awww the cat likes feeling special at his show
      Plus at least all be all warm and tingly down below

      Delete
    7. Your nether regions will be smoking cat.

      Delete
    8. I meant going down to hell
      But you know that might feel swell..haha

      Delete
  13. Replies
    1. Nice with a double T
      He really likes me

      Delete
  14. Wish I could bounce myself to the moon, in a rubber room. Sounds like fun lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But the man in the moon
      Will beat you with his spoon
      Watch out for that
      He is a dirty rat

      Delete
  15. I always do thank your LRA. Freedom is by far the best. Today I sense you swept caution away and flew about and about.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LRA hahaha maybe I should start using that
      Be a lot faster to type for the cat
      Yep caution is all gone
      Today at my lawn

      Delete
  16. no, i will never moon a crowd... lol!

    i would love to fall off a nice bush though... that sounds fun. :)

    have a great day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha but mooning would be fun too
      I'm sure they'd like the view..hahaha

      Delete
  17. Pat
    Dont tell me that these are incidents that happened in your life and are just random pages from your journal.
    You are The stallion of our days to underplay normal night mares.
    Should I even attempt to draw you flashing the crowd while gaging and spitting food, mooning next to scat of chewed up diseased rat? tasting armpit hair(epicurean's delight) and while falling from roof?
    Unless you fall on viking woman's tush, got to subtract 1 from 9 lives of cat.
    Guantanamo Bay sounds like a paradise to me now :) You could do pep talk shows

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO see I can make anything sound better than it is
      With my rhyming biz
      Never fear no life was lost
      At any cost
      For I landed on the viking's rear
      And she didn't have on her gear
      So it was nice and cushy
      Those diseased rats though are quite pushy

      Delete
  18. First I was going to take my chances and flip off the cat; then I was going to comment about being nude in a crowd until I got to the cat chewing on your armpit hair. What happened to the cat chewing on toilet paper? What doesn't the cat chew on???? =P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL the cat chews on everything he can get a hold of
      Rubber, string and tp he seems to love
      The rest just comes and goes
      Even Pat's toes

      Delete
  19. haha...well..that one with spitting the awful food at an enemy may be no bad idea at all...wait...did i really say this....ugh..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I've brought you to the dark side
      That makes me smile wide

      Delete
  20. nude after being in the pool
    now that is just not cool
    took me right back to george castanza
    and the seinfeld sitcom mania.

    I always look up my dreams
    they are always right it seems
    saying what may be on my mind
    amazing what I find at times.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL that is exactly what I thought
      When I wrote it all hot to trot
      I never look them up because they are too strange
      But prove I'm really out on the range
      So far gone I'll never get back
      But then that doesn't cause too much flack

      Delete
    2. Don't worry...I looked up the armpit one for you
      and it was so strange, they didn't have a clue!
      lol....

      Delete
    3. LMAO I guess even the cat is too strange for such things
      Maybe should jsut admit to dreaming of rats with wings

      Delete
  21. I'm listening to a really cool piece posted recently by Sub Radar Mike while reading this and while verses such as about eating a diseased rat made me laugh, the one about being in a padded room and how it didn't matter if you thought you were in a cartoon really hit me hard, it's profoundly deep stuff even if I'm not sure if that was the cat's game or even his aim. I bet I sound like I'm taking pills that are bound to cause thrills from my hippy rambling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm so you aren't on happy pills?
      They should not be taken for thrills..haha
      Always a little something profound
      Can be found at my mound
      Although on the outside it is just fun
      As that has to be done

      Delete
  22. if only taking a nap would prevent those monster craps.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If only that were the case
      But naps suck at any pace

      Delete
  23. All very good advice! Especially spiting food at an enimy instead of chocking on it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah why suck the nasty stuff down
      When you can make an enemy frown

      Delete
  24. good one Pat:) have a nice working day, so rest:)))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pat and the cat would rather be a pest
      Than rest..haha

      Delete
  25. haha, as in literal nightmares- knowing you, I thought for sure the word nightmare meant you were going all saw on us. I braced myself for such a fair, but then I saw the typical dreaming type of nightmares. yep, I think we've all had many of these, not the rat one though, I can't say I've shared in that one, but many of the others have woken me up for slumber. And, why would anyone flip a cat the bird, as cats, you know, will just eat the bird, burp and say thank you. Fun piece. Thanks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha no already did the killer easter bunny
      Going all Saw making people turn runny
      So I went with the literal ones
      And I've had tons
      Such fun to do
      And many have had them too
      The cat would eat them with pleasure
      Not matter their measure

      Delete
  26. I either don't dream or hardly ever remember them... If I did, I think running them with a ryming commentary would be badass! I'll call you and the cat if I start dreaming again. ;) ~ j

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha sounds like a plan
      Just call the cat and that Pat man
      And we'll run them down in rhyme
      Having a grand old time

      Delete
  27. Always have fun with the silliness here done ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is why each tale is spun
      Just to have fun

      Delete
  28. In the end it is how we view things :) Nice one, Pat :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. That cat seems to have some strange choices in things to chew on.
    I've always had nightmares about vampires...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes he likes to chew on strange things indeed
      Eww those things make your neck bleed

      Delete
    2. Pat's cat
      Is where it's at.
      For me a great moment:
      I beat him to a comment!

      Delete
    3. Yes you beat me
      That happens rarely
      But so it does
      Great job with the comment buzz

      Delete
  30. I think if I could write out my dreams, they would be quite interesting/entertaining, but their memory seems to slip away too quickly. Perhaps I need to explore the possibilities :) Always fun here!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah sometime they do slip away
      In the light of day
      But often times I can remember too
      And nice to once again see you

      Delete
  31. Does it count if you stand proud in the crowd of a nudist camp?

    there's more there to see than the floor lamp

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm it might not be as grand
      But coul really have a nudist band

      Delete
  32. Next time I have a dream about eating a diseased rat, I'll remember cat's good advice!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat is glad he could help
      So such a dream won't make you yelp

      Delete
  33. Writing my way out of my teaching nightmares? I will give it a fling, and celebrate spring! Or eat a Buffalo wing...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That you could do
      It is true
      Just write your way out
      And give a fling a shout

      Delete
  34. Diseased scat hmmmm reminds me when my cat had diarrhea... nasty stuff lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is nasty to see
      Comes out all eww and free

      Delete
  35. I started laughing in the first stanza... and now I will never think of nightmares in the same way again.
    your skill takes the pill.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't pop too many pills
      Could lead to thrills
      That you might not want
      Then I could taunt..haha

      Delete
  36. Technically cat, my blogging day is over because I run my page on GMT. My stats counter has rolled over into another day. That's how I counted the pagesviews for the men. At midnight GMT I had the 493. But because I didn't tell you this, I'll give you to midnight EST to beat me.

    The damn Newfies showed up cat. My page smells like cod!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was a good try
      I won't cry
      For it was fun
      To give a run
      And Besercules lost too
      hahaha great fun to come due

      Delete
  37. to rhyme here,
    i try my best,
    but for it to work,
    i need to plan,
    coz if i dont,
    and make like you,
    it all comes out,
    wrong like this one. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well at least you gave it a try
      And reached for the sky
      I never plan
      When rhyming that I am not a fan

      Delete
  38. So if I am choking of food,
    Just be crude
    And spit on an enemy
    So cool!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep that will do
      And it's quite funny too

      Delete
  39. So much fun stuff here! So many comments- 99?
    I hopped over from the interesting cat button on Jannie's page.
    Hi there. I don't always do poems, but sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah comments grow
      At my show
      As many come to see
      And rhyme with me
      Will be over your way
      In the light of day

      Delete
  40. I'd be awfully concerned if I found a cat chewing on my armpit hair

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL bah when it is my cat
      You just expect that

      Delete
  41. Falling elevators are actually my GF's biggest nightmare.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just tell her to imagine a cushion beneath it
      And all will be fine as she'll bounce after the hit

      Delete
  42. Ah, the power of dreams can be averted
    when your conscious mind's diverted

    Great job as usual Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is very true
      All depends on ones view

      Delete
  43. Every time I hear the word "scat" I flash back to seeing Jeff Corwin crawl on the sand behind some poor creature. Perhaps the kids and I watch too much tv.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well apparentley you watch more than me
      For he was not known at my sea

      Delete
  44. Boy did you have fun with this! When I die, I want to be re-born as a cat - they have such wonderful lives.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah a spoiled rotten cat
      Would be fine to come back as by Pat

      Delete
  45. I have nightmares of waking up only to find these people are all real. Do you know what that feels like? I only moon a crowd once in a .... blue moon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah I know what that feels like
      But I make them take a hike
      A blue moon
      Good one you blue loon..haha

      Delete
  46. To have nightmares is bad enough, but in rhyme, that's pretty prime. You might think the horror was twice as bad, but rhyme might drive you mad. Watch out for the flying bats Pat, they live in your hat. Good stuff hombre.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Having them in rhyme
      Would be sublime
      For the cat
      Except for that bat
      I will have to eat that
      Or squash it flat

      Delete
  47. Yikes -- naked in a crowd!! I have had that nightmare......and it hasn't been pretty. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL bah just make it pretty
      And do a little ditty

      Delete