Monday, May 21, 2012

From New To Old But The Cat Will NEVER Fold!

So last night the cat had a dream that Pat was playing for the other team. Now don't start to mutter and get your mind out of the gutter for it was dogs or maybe hogs I am talking about. Both of which Blabber likes to give a shout. It is a sign the cat has to get across the damn border and put things back in order. Before Pat gives use some butt sniffing mutt, a hog addicted to egg nog and a Blabber at our sea. I think we'd need a bigger bush number three.

But Miss Priss and I had figured out the best way for as I was dreaming away we were being shipped to Pat. That's right! I was mailed priority to Blabber's doormat. It's just too bad the mail guy had the mind of a baboon the stupid maroon. For we were sent to Old York instead. This is so hard on the head.

I want the New York not the Old York. Maybe we should have taken a stork. What you never heard of Old York before? Let me share with you what they have in store.


They have lots and lots of these so you might want to freeze and watch where you put your feet. I guaruntee stepping in one is not a treat.


They eat this gobbly goop. It's worse than the feed from a chicken coup. Made the cat want to hurl. Thankfully I found a nice juicy squirrel.


This is their slick mode of transport. It gets them from port to port in about ten days. They seem not to know that there are better ways. The cat can run faster then this. Oh how they hated the speed of the cat and Miss Priss.


Never fear at all. For what you see now does not grace their hall. I hear you giving a sigh of relief, as outhouses cause all such grief. Don't get ahead of yourself though for just look below.

This is where they use the loo. They share and it is quite cold on the butt too. Plus they never wash the seat or anything near it. This surely gave my OCD a fit. Can you say ewww? In every which way such an ewww is true.

This crap I could not take so we made for the nearest lake. And guess what? The stupid rowboat also was cursed by my little rhyming butt. It took us across the sea and we were once more in the home of nanny. The cat is really getting ticked off at the universe or whoever thinking they are so clever by stealing Pat away. Blabber is going to pay. At least here there are no cow patties in the grass. That is the only positive thing you will get today from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

91 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. You like that at my sea
      With a wow wee

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  2. Hey, hey what do we have here
    Lots of poo and the common loo
    And Old York it is, never fear
    Watch your step, that you'll do
    You'll be forever safe
    Unless you misbehave!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes watch each step indeed
      When there truly and utterly take heed

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  3. These photos are quite vile although the rhymes are worth the while. It's great to know the cat will never fold no many how times he is told as he's exceedingly bold, not bald before the cat attempts to scald.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes the cat will never ever give in
      And he will surely win
      For Pat will get his ass back to my bin
      Or I'll ummm poke him with a pin..haha

      Delete
  4. And a very lovely mornning to you too Pat.
    You hated New york, it is such a happening place, vibrant, wild and awesome. But I can understand why could have hated it, from where you are, you guys live like Anaconda? Like 1 person per village? I would love to see your Canada hometown compared to take out toilet New York.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ummm where did that come from?
      As the cat is talking not Pat's bum
      Pat loves New York just fine
      And one person per village is not divine
      I'd move far far away
      If that were the case at my bay

      Delete
    2. Oops, you didnt get these pictures from New York - Manhattan street? My bad..
      Cat, Pat ?! What's the difference? Pootato or Pringle can Pootato or Poo-at-you ..
      One person per village is divine to me, come on, I am from India, we walk on people instead of roads. :)

      I would love to see you roast me Cat/Pat.

      Delete
    3. The roast will come
      One day from my rhyming bum
      And the difference is one you can eat
      Or both if you like such a treat

      Delete
  5. Clippety-clop
    those horses
    do rock on
    the streets
    of cobblestone.

    But wait
    just behind
    the gate
    is a steaming
    pile of poo
    and of goo
    which one
    came from the loo?

    Hello St. Patrick!! Have a safe journey home and don't let them stick anything up your bum at customs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm already waiting for him at the customs all in disguise and my penguins are wearing rubber gloves :) It's all the Alliance scheme :))

      Delete
    2. Blah! If something goes up my bum
      I am going to chop off the guys thumb
      And mail it to you
      Although I did get swabbed for explosive crap when the trip came due

      Delete
    3. swabbed is better than probed
      just so you know.
      lol.

      Delete
    4. That it is
      Probed is a nasty biz

      Delete
    5. Poo throwing, chopping thumbs, stuffing things in bum - and you know what bothers me, people labelled me as "torture and roast queen" for my post about you.

      Cruel world, cruel world, cruel world.

      Delete
    6. Would it help if they swabbed you before they probed you? The Alliance can make it happen or we can have them go in dry.

      Delete
    7. he'd enjoy both, Annzie, we shall just do a Caesarian section on him :)

      Delete
    8. Pfft get over it
      As the cat likes his fit

      Neither works for me
      As the second would make me flee

      Good luck with that
      As the cat will bat you from his mat

      Delete
  6. you know i used an out house for a couple years, and in the winter its touch on your dears, ice cold on the tush while you make the mush, is there any difference in those first two pictures? they seem, easy enough to mix up, though i bet the taste might tell your face whats up...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah quite nasty both are
      I'd avoid them at my bar
      And that must have sucked too
      Having to use such a loo

      Delete
  7. Glad I've eaten breakfast before looking at a few of those shots!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is one thing you must always do
      Eat breakfast before coming to my zoo

      Delete
  8. Safe travels home
    Hope you had fun on your roam!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I didn't look at your post closely
    as I still have to eat my breakfast cereals ~

    But have a safe travel home
    Happy Victoria Day Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I personally never look at his post closely, it's better for one's health!

      Delete
    2. Yes looking before eating
      Would be quite fleeting

      Pfft who cares what you look at
      You are just a big elven ear at your mat

      Delete
    3. Is Pat really back ? Nice to see you :-)

      Delete
    4. Nope Pat is not back yet
      That is a safe bet
      As the cat is going on and on
      About being at nanny's lawn

      Delete
  10. Fecking faeces and arse water, reminds me of my weekend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL that must not have been a good weekend
      Or really good depending upon the trend

      Delete
  11. I love how the crap looks almost exactly like the food... whatever that is.

    Also, as a bit of a clean freak, those stone toilets look like something out a nightmare for me. I wouldn't wish that living arrangement on anyone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I'm a big clean freak
      So I'd rather go in a creek
      Than those loos what so ever
      And the food and poo both look rather umm clever

      Delete
  12. oh geez, Pat. i stepped onto something like #1 yesterday. yikessssss.
    the last photo isn't any consolation :p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You stepped in that?
      Blah says the cat

      Delete
    2. dog poo ! yucks.
      must be some irresponsible dog owner.

      Delete
    3. That it must be
      As they are just lazy

      Delete
    4. @Jaya J - Been there, too. I can still smell it! Eeeww!

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    5. Think we all have been there
      At our lair

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  13. I just knew that you often dream of me, Patrick, I just knew it :P
    And how dare you put that poop as your fist pic, ebil cat, when you know it will end up in all our blogrolls? You're pure ebil, genuine ebil, the ebil ebilness!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I knew I'd be away
      So at my bay
      I did that just for you
      To make you have something great in your view

      Delete
    2. to quote my Celtic Ally - you're disgusting, cat!
      It really lowers the level of my site when people see poo in the sidebar.

      Delete
    3. LMAO are you afraid the naked guys and girls aren't enough?
      I'm sure the poo won't surpass those you show in the buff

      Delete
    4. yeah,.um Dez...I don't think I've ever noticed your sidebar! LOL!

      Delete
    5. which means I will have to post some naked hotness tonight as well lest anyone should see Patrick's poo! Methinks me needs to find a scantily clad pic of Ryan Reynolds....

      Delete
    6. The smell you leave behind you when you visit my blog is bad enough cat. The sight of a steaming pile of poo isn't helping me right now. How long did it take for this to dry up so you could put it in your Pringles can? Or did you just shovel it in like this? You're disgusting cat.

      Delete
    7. he is disgusting, imagine that now all of us who have him in our blogrolls also have a poo in our sidebars? Who would do such a thing? And why?

      Delete
    8. Only 16 more hours and a new post will be up. lol. At least he doesn't refresh the time during the day and it can move down to the bottom of the list! hahaha.

      Ryan Reynolds you say....will make sure I don't miss that! :)

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    9. Ryan is already up and in business :)

      Delete
    10. I've been wondering for the past few months why everybody is so fascinated by poo...

      Delete
    11. I had to give you all a thrill
      As Pat was at NY's hill
      Fun to be had
      As you all get mad
      At seeing such a pic
      See it did the trick
      Show the naked guys all you want
      The cat will still taunt

      And yeah they are fascinated by it
      And it does go in the pringle can bit by bit
      So that is that
      Here at my mat

      Delete
    12. Hahahaha yeah those naked guys are everywhere, and then one female nipple needs to be photoshopped! But it's hard to choose: Dezzy's naked guys or your zoomed-in poo pics....

      Delete
    13. Hmmmm I'd rather take the poo
      As naked guys for me just won't do

      Delete
  14. Cat you are getting way out of control!
    My breakfast sits uneaten in it's bowl.
    Showing such a disgusting mess,
    makes my visit here less and less.

    Bring Pat home!!

    =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pfft get your former NY minions to send him back
      Going on the attack
      Then no more poo will show
      And you can eat breakfast on the go

      Delete
    2. The cat eats both the poop and the goop and then he goes to the loo to get an afternoon snack.

      Delete
    3. That works for me
      As it is oh so free

      Delete
    4. @Anne - D@mn, woman! That's so gross!

      Delete
    5. See she is a turd
      And completely absurd

      Delete
  15. That's some nasty green goop

    It looks worse than the poop

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Something tells me it smells worse, too...

      Delete
    2. That I would say
      Most definitely at my bay

      Not sure on that
      Have to ask another at their mat

      Delete
  16. Replies
    1. Agreed
      With your retort at my feed

      Delete
  17. yeah Old York is definitely a place for Orcs. But, outside the patties, there are some great forts and older villages throughout the state, but the charge to much to waltz about their place, so the outdoor latrine is probably the only scene I'll get to see. I do believe the longer you stay in NY, the more you'll not want to leave and you'll then turn the cat's dream into a premonition and have to transport the entirety of bush number 3.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I keep telling him that, too! He's going to want to come back in a permanent way!

      Delete
    2. Yep, but I'm not so sure how NYC will fare for his OCD, but yep, outside of the snow, there's a lot to love about this region, actually make that without having to go out in the snow, because i actually do like looking out the window and seeing a nice white blanket of the stuff, as long as I don't have to leave the house lol

      Delete
    3. Oh, me, too! Love winter and snow! And I'm a hermit enough to be happy to be snowed in for days. haha.

      As long as Pat had his hand sanitizer with him, I'm sure he survived! hahaha.

      Delete
    4. Yes it is a great place
      One which I would again like to show my face
      The snow I hate
      Not a fun fate
      And yeah my ocd faired well
      Even if it was germy as hell

      Delete
  18. LOL! You traveled to Old York, eh? That looks like guacamole, which I kind of like. But not outhouses... :D Have a funfilled spring yourself and get some indoor plumbing~ ;p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes the cat got stuck going there
      As he tried to get Pat back to our lair

      Delete
  19. Oh man, not sure If I want to travel to Old York if those are really the toilets they use.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They very well could be
      You should go and see

      Delete
  20. A shared loo... Can you imagine using one of those? My goodness, Pat, I'd rather hide behind some bushes, freezing my ass off in solitude. My cats are hungry now, so I should go and feed them. No juicy squirrel, though. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The juicy squirrel has to come due
      As it should be fed to not just one but two
      Never use on of those
      It would just curl my toes

      Delete
  21. The original York is the capital of Yorkshire, about 30 miles form where I'm sitting. Funnily enough they have the Yorvik Viking Museum from the days when the city was a Viking settlement and you can look at some original Viking poo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO original viking poo
      That is not something I really need to see between me and you

      Delete
  22. Replies
    1. Oh dear
      It's nice to see my little rhyming rear

      Delete
  23. My only memory of old York was freezing on the city walls...New York is far nicer in my opinion - better coffee shops

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes far far far better I will agree
      This NY sea

      Delete
  24. Those first two pictures...
    Strangest I've ever seen.
    Not much different.
    'cept one is brown.
    The other?
    Green.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is about it
      Enough to make ones stomach have a fit

      Delete
  25. If you don't want to use an outhouse or a shared loo, you could just dig a CAT hole.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That could work
      See the cat has an added perk

      Delete
  26. Yeah, those horse-drawn carriages really are slow.
    Why people still ride them, I do not know.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Neither do I
      Have no want to give one a try

      Delete
  27. I've sometimes wished for one of those outhouses when at an outdoor function. Sometimes technology needs to be scaled down a bit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm not sure that is a wish
      That I would put on my dish

      Delete
  28. I stepped on that brown thingy
    It felt really soft and sticky
    I wiped it off and it was gooey
    Now my hands are all stinky!

    ReplyDelete