So last night the cat had a dream that Pat was playing for the other team. Now don't start to mutter and get your mind out of the gutter for it was dogs or maybe hogs I am talking about. Both of which Blabber likes to give a shout. It is a sign the cat has to get across the damn border and put things back in order. Before Pat gives use some butt sniffing mutt, a hog addicted to egg nog and a Blabber at our sea. I think we'd need a bigger bush number three.
But Miss Priss and I had figured out the best way for as I was dreaming away we were being shipped to Pat. That's right! I was mailed priority to Blabber's doormat. It's just too bad the mail guy had the mind of a baboon the stupid maroon. For we were sent to Old York instead. This is so hard on the head.
I want the New York not the Old York. Maybe we should have taken a stork. What you never heard of Old York before? Let me share with you what they have in store.
They have lots and lots of these so you might want to freeze and watch where you put your feet. I guaruntee stepping in one is not a treat.
They eat this gobbly goop. It's worse than the feed from a chicken coup. Made the cat want to hurl. Thankfully I found a nice juicy squirrel.
This is their slick mode of transport. It gets them from port to port in about ten days. They seem not to know that there are better ways. The cat can run faster then this. Oh how they hated the speed of the cat and Miss Priss.
Never fear at all. For what you see now does not grace their hall. I hear you giving a sigh of relief, as outhouses cause all such grief. Don't get ahead of yourself though for just look below.
This is where they use the loo. They share and it is quite cold on the butt too. Plus they never wash the seat or anything near it. This surely gave my OCD a fit. Can you say ewww? In every which way such an ewww is true.
This crap I could not take so we made for the nearest lake. And guess what? The stupid rowboat also was cursed by my little rhyming butt. It took us across the sea and we were once more in the home of nanny. The cat is really getting ticked off at the universe or whoever thinking they are so clever by stealing Pat away. Blabber is going to pay. At least here there are no cow patties in the grass. That is the only positive thing you will get today from my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
No.#1 Wow.. wee
ReplyDeleteHank
You like that at my sea
DeleteWith a wow wee
Hey, hey what do we have here
ReplyDeleteLots of poo and the common loo
And Old York it is, never fear
Watch your step, that you'll do
You'll be forever safe
Unless you misbehave!
Hank
Yes watch each step indeed
DeleteWhen there truly and utterly take heed
These photos are quite vile although the rhymes are worth the while. It's great to know the cat will never fold no many how times he is told as he's exceedingly bold, not bald before the cat attempts to scald.
ReplyDeleteYes the cat will never ever give in
DeleteAnd he will surely win
For Pat will get his ass back to my bin
Or I'll ummm poke him with a pin..haha
And a very lovely mornning to you too Pat.
ReplyDeleteYou hated New york, it is such a happening place, vibrant, wild and awesome. But I can understand why could have hated it, from where you are, you guys live like Anaconda? Like 1 person per village? I would love to see your Canada hometown compared to take out toilet New York.
Ummm where did that come from?
DeleteAs the cat is talking not Pat's bum
Pat loves New York just fine
And one person per village is not divine
I'd move far far away
If that were the case at my bay
Oops, you didnt get these pictures from New York - Manhattan street? My bad..
DeleteCat, Pat ?! What's the difference? Pootato or Pringle can Pootato or Poo-at-you ..
One person per village is divine to me, come on, I am from India, we walk on people instead of roads. :)
I would love to see you roast me Cat/Pat.
The roast will come
DeleteOne day from my rhyming bum
And the difference is one you can eat
Or both if you like such a treat
Clippety-clop
ReplyDeletethose horses
do rock on
the streets
of cobblestone.
But wait
just behind
the gate
is a steaming
pile of poo
and of goo
which one
came from the loo?
Hello St. Patrick!! Have a safe journey home and don't let them stick anything up your bum at customs.
I'm already waiting for him at the customs all in disguise and my penguins are wearing rubber gloves :) It's all the Alliance scheme :))
DeleteBlah! If something goes up my bum
DeleteI am going to chop off the guys thumb
And mail it to you
Although I did get swabbed for explosive crap when the trip came due
swabbed is better than probed
Deletejust so you know.
lol.
That it is
DeleteProbed is a nasty biz
Poo throwing, chopping thumbs, stuffing things in bum - and you know what bothers me, people labelled me as "torture and roast queen" for my post about you.
DeleteCruel world, cruel world, cruel world.
Would it help if they swabbed you before they probed you? The Alliance can make it happen or we can have them go in dry.
Deletehe'd enjoy both, Annzie, we shall just do a Caesarian section on him :)
DeletePfft get over it
DeleteAs the cat likes his fit
Neither works for me
As the second would make me flee
Good luck with that
As the cat will bat you from his mat
you know i used an out house for a couple years, and in the winter its touch on your dears, ice cold on the tush while you make the mush, is there any difference in those first two pictures? they seem, easy enough to mix up, though i bet the taste might tell your face whats up...
ReplyDeleteYeah quite nasty both are
DeleteI'd avoid them at my bar
And that must have sucked too
Having to use such a loo
Glad I've eaten breakfast before looking at a few of those shots!!!
ReplyDeleteThat is one thing you must always do
DeleteEat breakfast before coming to my zoo
Safe travels home
ReplyDeleteHope you had fun on your roam!
Yes much fun
DeleteAnd all kinds of sun
I didn't look at your post closely
ReplyDeleteas I still have to eat my breakfast cereals ~
But have a safe travel home
Happy Victoria Day Pat ~
I personally never look at his post closely, it's better for one's health!
DeleteYes looking before eating
DeleteWould be quite fleeting
Pfft who cares what you look at
You are just a big elven ear at your mat
Is Pat really back ? Nice to see you :-)
DeleteNope Pat is not back yet
DeleteThat is a safe bet
As the cat is going on and on
About being at nanny's lawn
Fecking faeces and arse water, reminds me of my weekend!
ReplyDeleteLOL that must not have been a good weekend
DeleteOr really good depending upon the trend
I love how the crap looks almost exactly like the food... whatever that is.
ReplyDeleteAlso, as a bit of a clean freak, those stone toilets look like something out a nightmare for me. I wouldn't wish that living arrangement on anyone.
Yeah I'm a big clean freak
DeleteSo I'd rather go in a creek
Than those loos what so ever
And the food and poo both look rather umm clever
oh geez, Pat. i stepped onto something like #1 yesterday. yikessssss.
ReplyDeletethe last photo isn't any consolation :p
You stepped in that?
DeleteBlah says the cat
dog poo ! yucks.
Deletemust be some irresponsible dog owner.
That it must be
DeleteAs they are just lazy
@Jaya J - Been there, too. I can still smell it! Eeeww!
DeleteThink we all have been there
DeleteAt our lair
I just knew that you often dream of me, Patrick, I just knew it :P
ReplyDeleteAnd how dare you put that poop as your fist pic, ebil cat, when you know it will end up in all our blogrolls? You're pure ebil, genuine ebil, the ebil ebilness!
I knew I'd be away
DeleteSo at my bay
I did that just for you
To make you have something great in your view
to quote my Celtic Ally - you're disgusting, cat!
DeleteIt really lowers the level of my site when people see poo in the sidebar.
LMAO are you afraid the naked guys and girls aren't enough?
DeleteI'm sure the poo won't surpass those you show in the buff
yeah,.um Dez...I don't think I've ever noticed your sidebar! LOL!
Deletewhich means I will have to post some naked hotness tonight as well lest anyone should see Patrick's poo! Methinks me needs to find a scantily clad pic of Ryan Reynolds....
DeleteThe smell you leave behind you when you visit my blog is bad enough cat. The sight of a steaming pile of poo isn't helping me right now. How long did it take for this to dry up so you could put it in your Pringles can? Or did you just shovel it in like this? You're disgusting cat.
Deletehe is disgusting, imagine that now all of us who have him in our blogrolls also have a poo in our sidebars? Who would do such a thing? And why?
DeleteOnly 16 more hours and a new post will be up. lol. At least he doesn't refresh the time during the day and it can move down to the bottom of the list! hahaha.
DeleteRyan Reynolds you say....will make sure I don't miss that! :)
Ryan is already up and in business :)
DeleteI've been wondering for the past few months why everybody is so fascinated by poo...
DeleteI had to give you all a thrill
DeleteAs Pat was at NY's hill
Fun to be had
As you all get mad
At seeing such a pic
See it did the trick
Show the naked guys all you want
The cat will still taunt
And yeah they are fascinated by it
And it does go in the pringle can bit by bit
So that is that
Here at my mat
Hahahaha yeah those naked guys are everywhere, and then one female nipple needs to be photoshopped! But it's hard to choose: Dezzy's naked guys or your zoomed-in poo pics....
DeleteHmmmm I'd rather take the poo
DeleteAs naked guys for me just won't do
Cat you are getting way out of control!
ReplyDeleteMy breakfast sits uneaten in it's bowl.
Showing such a disgusting mess,
makes my visit here less and less.
Bring Pat home!!
=)
Pfft get your former NY minions to send him back
DeleteGoing on the attack
Then no more poo will show
And you can eat breakfast on the go
The cat eats both the poop and the goop and then he goes to the loo to get an afternoon snack.
DeleteThat works for me
DeleteAs it is oh so free
@Anne - D@mn, woman! That's so gross!
DeleteSee she is a turd
DeleteAnd completely absurd
That's some nasty green goop
ReplyDeleteIt looks worse than the poop
Something tells me it smells worse, too...
DeleteThat I would say
DeleteMost definitely at my bay
Not sure on that
Have to ask another at their mat
Eeeewww!
ReplyDeleteAgreed
DeleteWith your retort at my feed
yeah Old York is definitely a place for Orcs. But, outside the patties, there are some great forts and older villages throughout the state, but the charge to much to waltz about their place, so the outdoor latrine is probably the only scene I'll get to see. I do believe the longer you stay in NY, the more you'll not want to leave and you'll then turn the cat's dream into a premonition and have to transport the entirety of bush number 3.
ReplyDeleteI keep telling him that, too! He's going to want to come back in a permanent way!
DeleteYep, but I'm not so sure how NYC will fare for his OCD, but yep, outside of the snow, there's a lot to love about this region, actually make that without having to go out in the snow, because i actually do like looking out the window and seeing a nice white blanket of the stuff, as long as I don't have to leave the house lol
DeleteOh, me, too! Love winter and snow! And I'm a hermit enough to be happy to be snowed in for days. haha.
DeleteAs long as Pat had his hand sanitizer with him, I'm sure he survived! hahaha.
Yes it is a great place
DeleteOne which I would again like to show my face
The snow I hate
Not a fun fate
And yeah my ocd faired well
Even if it was germy as hell
LOL! You traveled to Old York, eh? That looks like guacamole, which I kind of like. But not outhouses... :D Have a funfilled spring yourself and get some indoor plumbing~ ;p
ReplyDeleteYes the cat got stuck going there
DeleteAs he tried to get Pat back to our lair
Oh man, not sure If I want to travel to Old York if those are really the toilets they use.
ReplyDeleteThey very well could be
DeleteYou should go and see
A shared loo... Can you imagine using one of those? My goodness, Pat, I'd rather hide behind some bushes, freezing my ass off in solitude. My cats are hungry now, so I should go and feed them. No juicy squirrel, though. :)
ReplyDeleteThe juicy squirrel has to come due
DeleteAs it should be fed to not just one but two
Never use on of those
It would just curl my toes
The original York is the capital of Yorkshire, about 30 miles form where I'm sitting. Funnily enough they have the Yorvik Viking Museum from the days when the city was a Viking settlement and you can look at some original Viking poo.
ReplyDeleteLMAO original viking poo
DeleteThat is not something I really need to see between me and you
Nice to see you Pat sigh!
ReplyDeleteOh dear
DeleteIt's nice to see my little rhyming rear
My only memory of old York was freezing on the city walls...New York is far nicer in my opinion - better coffee shops
ReplyDeleteYes far far far better I will agree
DeleteThis NY sea
Those first two pictures...
ReplyDeleteStrangest I've ever seen.
Not much different.
'cept one is brown.
The other?
Green.
That is about it
DeleteEnough to make ones stomach have a fit
If you don't want to use an outhouse or a shared loo, you could just dig a CAT hole.
ReplyDeleteThat could work
DeleteSee the cat has an added perk
Yeah, those horse-drawn carriages really are slow.
ReplyDeleteWhy people still ride them, I do not know.
xoRobyn
Neither do I
DeleteHave no want to give one a try
I've sometimes wished for one of those outhouses when at an outdoor function. Sometimes technology needs to be scaled down a bit.
ReplyDeleteHmm not sure that is a wish
DeleteThat I would put on my dish
I stepped on that brown thingy
ReplyDeleteIt felt really soft and sticky
I wiped it off and it was gooey
Now my hands are all stinky!