Monday, May 7, 2012
Island Of The....Tarsier Man. Strat! We Are All Going To Kick The Can!
And he found no one at my shack.
For the cat, Miss Priss and Pat,
Along with many of you are visiting The Gawker's mat.
I guess Tarsier Man found out about this,
And decided it was something he could not miss.
So he blazed a new trail,
Setting off to be part of The Gawker's tale.
He hopped a pond and a stream,
Chowed down on some ice cream.
Then hopped a bridge,
And raided some old lady's fridge.
He chalked that one up to his fee,
For saving her from a bee.
Even if the bee was dead,
She could have slipped on it and hit her head.
He made it to the island at some point,
And decided to free us from The Gawker's joint.
Sadly that was not the case,
Now we are all good and dead at that place.
For Petsy was taking her elephant for a walk,
Tarsier Man began to balk.
He ran up to save Petsy but fell,
And things went to Hell.
For he pushed Petsy inside the elephants trunk,
She got stuck thanks to that punk.
Then when he went to pull,
Let's just say Petsy came back less than full.
Next came Blabber that he saw,
Taking it as the last straw,
That she had a pet tarsier with her,
And his words started to slur.
He went to whack her pet off her shoulder,
Catching a piece of her hair and slapping it to a boulder.
I guess with no shampoo her hair could stick,
Let's just say after the boulder rolled, Blabber looked rather ummm ick.
When Irish Air came up to the plate,
Tarsier Man thought he'd change her fate.
He went to steal her liquor bottle,
And ran at her full throttle.
Of course Irish Air fought,
But the liquor bottle got caught.
It got shoved down her throat,
After her choking she'll be saved by no boat.
All he wanted to do was send a message in it.
Yet he still thought the idea was a hit.
He went to throw it out to sea,
When he saw Pat, Miss Priss, Drazin and me.
Drazin stomped his way,
Ready to ruin his day.
Pat did too,
Thinking he was the guy who invented the loo.
In their rush to get him,
They never noticed the sun grow dim.
Then The Gawker showed his face,
And popped the eye out from his head space.
He declared we would join his glowy eyed freaks here and now.
And then actually took a bow.
Tarsier Man just trotted up and ate the big eye,
Then watched as The Gawker started to die.
He declared his work was through,
And that he had saved all in view.
Then off he went to stand on Gawker Ridge,
Before going to raid another old ladies fridge.
Fortunately I awoke from this horrid dream,
Before he drowned me in a stream.
But the cat had to tell this tale,
Just to prove how Tarsier Man would fail.
Or I guess he did win,
If one doesn't mind being torn in two, smushed by a boulder and choked to death on a bottle at my bin.
At least you can feed the Gawker Island grass.
And so ends this not so true tale from my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.