Saturday, May 12, 2012

Shove A Pencil Through Her Eye! Such Violence, Oh My!

"I booked the first three Tuesdays of the month every month, so I have the 22nd booked."

After five whole weeks of bliss Pat had to once more hear Flappy hiss. The dumb ass can't even count to any amount.

"I know I booked the first three, let me know, can you let me know. I'll let the others know. Maybe I should let them know now."

Of course you should let them know at nine in the night. They want to be shook up by a Flappy fright and told about something that is over two weeks away. Right now, at this very moment, today!

"May has five Tuesdays so you did book the first three."

Is all Pat had to say and Flappy was in dismay. She tried to book it once more but tough luck for her as Pat will be away from his work shore. Actually he will be back but not about to come into his work shack. Especially for Flappy and of course she got yappy.

"I guess I will have to cancel. I guess I will have to call them, I should call them now. I should really call them now. Mom, do you have your cell phone?"

Yes, even Flappy's mommy comes to this thing and she really was going to give all a ring. Her mother just hugged her and left with another. Flappy can't even be tolerated by her own mother. That has to bring shame and by now Pat just wanted to mame.

"I know the number. I just need a phone. Where did I put my phone? I should cancel them now. I should call so and so and have her cancel them now. I should..."

This went on for ten minutes or more as Pat just wanted to be rid of the painted up whore. Then she asked to use his phone and he said it was upstairs as he let out a little groan.

"Can you go get it? I have to call them now, they should be told now. They have to say what they want to do. Can you go get it?"

Pat lied of course with that one, as he had it in his pocket and was hoping by his shun she would leave, giving him a reprieve. But she did not and so against better judgement he pretened to trot. Then came back with the phone that was in his pocket all along and she sang here usual song.

"How does this work? Do I just press this button?"

She said as she looked at the numbers on the phone screen and she could see as it was nice and clean. Finally she hit the buttons on it, proving once more she is a nitwit.

"The number is out of order. That can't be. I know it works."

So she pressed it again and this time it was a number of a different den. The dumb ass didn't even get the number right. Then she explained her plight.

"He isn't going to be here on the 22nd. So we can't have that night. What do you want to do? Do you want to keep the other night? That will be two nights in a row for you. You know that is two nights right? Two nights for you?"

Damn broken record went on and finally this plan seemed to dawn.

"We'll call you later in the week and let you know. Is later in the week okay? Sometime later in the week we'll call."

Took her all of that to figure out she would call later? Then it was time to go all see you later aligator. But she tried to call another after saying she was just going to call one. So Pat ended her fun. Took the phone back and said she had to go. For if he did not she would be there all damn night at his work show.

"I have to deliver this anyway. I have to do this as well and this too. Can I borrow your phone for one more second? There is a call I have to make."

So Pat hit the button to turn it on once more but oops! It would not explore. Seems the phone went dead or Pat just didn't hit it hard enough and pretended it was so, so he could go to bed. She still went on about the phone as he kicked her out the door.

"I should really call the others too. I wonder what they will think? I should really call the others. I have to deliver this, maybe I should call the others."

God, Pat needs to find a new work shore. Good things there were no pencils or pens around or a dead Flappy may have been found. Then he finally came home to our grass and fed my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

87 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Number one once more
      At my shore
      Seems to happen once a week
      As you come to peek

      Delete
  2. It wouldn't be fun
    To deal with someone
    Who's a bit dense
    Testing your patience
    Even the cell phone
    Can be a moan
    Lucky thing that you
    Can manage the few
    That come your way
    That saves the day

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I can manage somehow
      With that Flappy cow
      Thankfully it's only one a week at most
      Or I would make her roast

      Delete
  3. Great rhymes as usual, Patt!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Pat ~ Its a beautiful and sunny day outside
    Maybe you should go out and play, and forget about
    Flappy's moaning and groaning until your ears bleed
    from too much of her missed calls and numbers :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the Alliance always plays missed calls with the cat :) He calls us, we don't answer, he calls us again, we don't answer.... he seems to like it...

      Delete
    2. Yes it is a nice day
      And I will be outside quite soon at my bay
      As Flappy is quite the pain
      Going down the whack job lane

      Pfft don't blame yoiur fetish with trolls calling you one me
      Just because elves have a thing for trolls it's not something I want to see

      Delete
    3. pfft, go and call me, cat, to see if I'm not there :)

      Delete
    4. Your line said you were busy
      And quite dizzy
      I guess you are going round and round
      As you hear the sound
      Neat trick
      Don't twirl too much you might get sick

      Delete
  5. great read to start my wknd, pat.

    you can borrow my phone any time.:D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I'd like to take mine and whack her upside the head
      But then sadly my phone would be quite dead

      Delete
  6. Some days are like that! Enjoy the weekend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes some days are bad
      When she comes around bugging that Pat lad

      Delete
  7. i always say...don'tYaEver let anyone use your phone...the strangest things can happen if you do so...or the best..ha...you never know...smiles..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha strange things can occur
      Such as your eyes start to blur
      As they don't shut up
      Rather take the butt sniffing pup

      Delete
  8. you know there are days i have deep empathy for you and flappy and then there are others where all the complaining makes me think you will make a happy couple one of these days...hahaha...hey...just kidding, kind of...smiles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol you can rot for that
      Not funny to the cat
      I'll send her down your way
      Then you'll be singing a new tune at your bay..hahaha

      Delete
    2. a happy couple one of these days!???
      oh that would cause dismay!
      Still had to laugh at the thought
      poor cat would slit his own throat.
      Sharing a phone is one thing
      but your bed...

      uh oh...Pat just fainted...
      Orlin! Orlin! Get Cassie and throw water on Pat's face!
      He'll be ok...he just had a really bad thought and lost consciousness!

      hahahahahah

      don't blame me! it was my twin!

      Delete
    3. This was really hilarious Betsy ~ Ha..ha....

      Delete
    4. BLAH in every single way
      That is all I can say
      You had the expanded thought
      That your twin brought
      Nasty nasty nasty all over
      The cat and Pat would rather have a rover
      Blah once more
      To such a thought at my shore

      Delete
    5. kinda like Rahe and jack
      in her royalty shack.
      hahahaha.

      Delete
    6. Eww and eww some more
      And I don't have an Emily to beat her back from my shore..haha

      Delete
  9. One can only be so polite before it finally comes to pretending the phone is broken.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes after a while
      One must act vile

      Delete
  10. Wow. You can take a lot before you reach your breaking point. Maybe that's why I haven't had a work shore in quite some time. I may need to take lessons in tolerance from Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha well if I could survive
      I'd no longer have the 9 to 5
      But sadly need the dough
      So have to put up with the crap at my work show

      Delete
  11. too much numbers, too much numbers...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't like the numbers?
      What if I gave yoiu some cucumbers

      Delete
    2. only while the Viking lady slumbers, we don't wanna cause any jealousy :)

      Delete
    3. Well you should be able to hear her snore
      For she gives off quite the encore

      Delete
  12. So the operative words are: Flappy, phone and call. I get it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can get it and keep it
      For Flappy is a nitwit

      Delete
  13. P.S. I have never faked a trot....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well you could try
      It's just a sort of lie

      Delete
  14. oh Flappy again!:( she is a nightmare didnt?? forget her dear:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I try but she keeps coming back
      To my work shack

      Delete
    2. you have to scare her ha,ha, maybe she would afraid of you!!

      Delete
    3. LOL oh I would if I wouldn't get fired
      I'd let her have it and get good and wired

      Delete
  15. flappy makes me happy
    and i'd probably smother her mother
    what's it like to have a nice clean phone screen?
    i think the cat and i would make a good team
    not that i'm building a beachhead at your shore
    i'm just quite into the lore

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'd smother her mother
      Hmmm wouldn't tell that to another
      As she is like 70 or so
      So that is something you should keep on the down low
      Glad you're into the lore
      As it is fun to explore

      Delete
  16. Awesome work Pat, you deserve all that you get. I love how many followers you manage to capture in your net.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep many get captured at my bay
      Flappy I truly want to cause dismay

      Delete
  17. Gals like that drive me nuts! Unprepared, unorganized and nucking futz! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep exactly what she is
      Prob would fail a 2nd grade quiz

      Delete
  18. sounds like stress. a lot of stress.
    if anyone calls me at nine in the night for work, i'll flip, Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes puts my neck in a mess
      All that stress
      And I'd flip too
      And tell them what to do

      Delete
  19. I only use the phone to call the ghostbusters even for dracula the count


    yet verizon doesn't buy that as an excuse for a discount.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I think you are SOL with that
      But I hope the ghostbusters squash whoever flat

      Delete
  20. Dude, I don't know how you handle working around people like that, I'm surprised you haven't gone crazy...er.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha well crazy is all a matter of perception I guess
      But I haven't gone psycho postal worker crazy I will confess

      Delete
    2. You'll be the first I see out
      For not coming through with your Bora Bora shout..haha

      Delete
  21. *exhale*

    I saw the title show up on blogroll and got extremely nervous...

    Glad it's not me LMAO

    Man, what an ego I've developed. And a touch of paranoia too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO well you did have an eye before
      And you did do that nasty Dez post at your shore
      So maybe you deserve a little jab too
      Or your just paranoid at my zoo..haha

      Delete
    2. you see how the ebil feline nemesis threatens the lady generals from the Alliance? Throw a pencil on him, Elsie, throw it! His bum is the target!

      Delete
    3. *Throws a pencil with all her might*

      "Run evil cat, run!!"

      Delete
    4. Threatening me now are you evil ear elf?
      While I'll just bronze you and display you on a shelf
      That will be that
      Beaten by a cat

      Hmmm I don't think it reached me
      You are waaaay to far away to by scary..haha

      Delete
  22. You let her use your cell?
    what the hell!
    I'd have said "just go home and send an email!"
    and that my phone minutes were not for sale.
    Just think...her germs are there
    just beware.
    hahahaha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I de-germed it
      Was the first thing I did when I got back to my pit
      I was hoping she'd just shut up and go away
      But she didn't and so I ha to kick her from my work bay

      Delete
  23. i promise to keep it on the down low
    and take it to heart like don't pee in yellow snow

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Both are good things to take to heart
      Kind of like a hidden umm err fart

      Delete
  24. lol Flappy reminds me of my wife...she often wants to call people at stupid times of the night to discuss trivial details

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well I bet your wife isn't as annoying as Flappy
      For she is quite yappy

      Delete
  25. What an annoyance. And why did you let her use the phone, anyway?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was trying to be sorta nice and hoping she would go
      Either way I was in for a ranting flow
      But it did not work
      So kicking her out was a perk

      Delete
  26. Lol that's crazy I agree with Betsy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agree with Petsy you say
      Can't say I disagree either at my bay..haha

      Delete
  27. Pretend the phone is broken, how awesome.
    Flappy does sounds like a nightmare, though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes she is a nightmare in every single way
      I so wish they would boot her from my work bay

      Delete
  28. Wait until I tell your Zebra rocking honey bunny all the mean things you said about her!!!!! She ain't going to be too happy about this report ;)

    hahahahahaha

    P.S. Can I book Flappy's room for that Tuesday? I think I booked it for that night. Yes, I deff did! LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL well you go right ahead and maybe even compare Zebra print stuff
      I hope she gets in a huff
      Then maybe she will go away
      And ohhh she would have a fit if someone else booked the room on that tuesday
      She'd prob mouth off or come beat you up
      Hitting you with a coffee cup
      Hmmm be a sight to see
      So okay you can book the room and come back with me
      Then you and Flappy can meet
      Joke is on you, isn't that neat?..LMAO

      Delete
    2. LOL!!!! If anyone even tries to hit me a with a coffee cup, it's going down! I'll hit her back with mine and make sure there's hot coffee in it! Hmph!!! Your zebra wearing Flappy isn't very nice!!

      Delete
    3. LOL well I told you she is one to hate
      Don't you now want to make a play date?
      You could swap coffee cups upside the head
      I'll be happy if she winds up dead.
      I'll even help you cover it up
      That be awful, death by coffee cup..hahaha

      Delete
  29. Painted up whores' dumb asses and nitwits, your cats sure do keep some odd company. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All the same person too
      She is her own crew

      Delete
  30. Flappy sounds like a true delight! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you like your delight
      To cause you a fright..haha

      Delete
  31. I dont know who this flappy is, but you arent married to her, so be happy, I cant say for my husband though :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes that makes me very very happy
      I'd fake my own death if I was ever married to Flappy

      Delete
  32. Oh, I knew a flappy tale would soon set sail. Poor Flappy, it's probably a good thing she has to deal with pat, he's much nicer than some others, most certainly me, but people like this just have to be messed with, as they will cause dread, corrupt your head and make you want to flee, so might as well do what you can, a little internal rhyme, just enough a spell to brings some type of glee. Poor old flappy, as she's that character the main star of a show hides indoors and is quiet as can be, while they rap on the door, peeking through the windows, and everything works but then you sneeze.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha yeah I can surely see that
      As she goes door to door at each persons mat
      I'd hide for sure at my sea
      And even if I sneezed she would not get to me
      At least then I could throw the cat at her though
      He scratch her up as he ran from her ugly glow

      Delete
  33. the title alone creates the worst visuals in my head...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least the title
      Doesn't leave your head idle

      Delete
  34. Ouch. I imagine a pencil through the eye would hurt quite badly...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes it would hurt very much
      With life one might actually lose touch

      Delete