Wednesday, June 6, 2012

The Bees Knees Without Fleas!

What do you want you old arsemonger? Are you dying of hunger? Do you just want to chew the fat? Bloody hell am I filling in for a rhyming cat? This is cattled up. Well let's jangle about and not dilly dally like some pup.

I'll dish the dirt,
And shall not flirt.
No rumpy pumpy will come due.
Bugger off if you want such a view.

No bloody wankers like that,
Are needed to chew the fat.
Scream blue murder if you must,
That I ruined your humpty hump lust.

For I'll have your guts for garters,
You better skedaddle as I take no barters.
Might turn you seven shades of shit.
Isn't that a tickity boo fit.

Don't piddle about.
Give a bloody shout.
Or bugger off.
If I make any airy fairy scoff.

Wow chrome dome.
You're a salad dodger and need to roam.
I just want to rip the piss,
No bit of fluff or any bliss.

For you'll take it up the poop chute,
Or be right as rain and toot.
Get good and wellied before hand,
The rumpy pumpy may be grand.

Don't get your skivvies in a bunch.
You can have your dull as dishwasher lunch.
May be rough as a badgers ass,
For an all fur coat and no knickers lass.

Such a piddly wanker.
Bugger off you banker.
No need to be mitthered by you.
Or your rubberneck crew.

What? You think your the mutts nuts?
The bees knees while sniffing butts?
The cat's whiskers or the dog's bullocks too?
Bloody hell you're quite the zoo.

I can see you arsemongers are rattled,
And this is good and cattled.
So I am bloody well done with this blog,
For I have to see a man about a dog.

I said I was bloody well done, so bugger off and go get some sun. That is right you bloody wankers and annoying bankers. We'll bloody well rip the piss some other time. I bloody well hate the bloody rhyme.

Wow! Where did that come from? Did someone try and hack my little rhyming bum? Did you understand half of what that creepy guy said? He kind of hurt the cat's head. That is those scary overseas people for you though as they try and invade the cats show. I hope he found his dog as he left a brown log. He was even crass which you know was enjoyed by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

67 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. to be this good,
      let me begin

      Delete
    2. Two days in a row
      Here at my show
      If you make it three
      Will really impress me
      Maybe not Hank
      As he wants you to walk the plank

      Delete
  2. guts for garters...oh my...this was def a different voice for you, gritty and catty, maybe a little batty, no rump pump humpty hump here either, this gave me shivers so be a believer...scarier and scarier...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah so many voices in my head
      Once in a while they need to be fed
      Sorry for the scare
      As a humpty hump happens whether or not there is hair

      Delete
  3. Arsemonger is a word that hurts like if someone flipped the bird. I love your poems to an extent that this blog is a home and I guess gives me freedom to roam.

    I'm just rambling here and there today, great rhymes like always at Pat's bay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This blog is a home
      You really like my dome
      Betsy is right
      You need to get out more day and night haha
      But fun indeed
      Here at my feed

      Delete
  4. Yikes, I think I will stay out of the way
    seems it is kind of a crazy-type day
    except for seeing a man about a dog
    but I can't see well in all of this fog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah stay far far away
      From such a display
      For when he sees a man about a dog
      It means he needs to go pop out a brown log

      Delete
  5. Gold, silver and bronze
    Brian had them twice over
    Enjoying it he said so
    No mean feat you must know!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brian is trying to defeat your streak
      He's on a roll so you may be up the creek

      Delete
  6. Take it up the poop chute? No... shit!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I take that as a complement :)

      Delete
    2. LOL as well you should
      As it was good

      Delete
  7. Reminds me of a quote from "A Clockwork Orange". Who knows what the hell they are saying LOL.

    "Ho, ho, ho! Well, if it isn't fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah I thought of that movie when I went through
      Was a weird yet good one for a view

      Delete
  8. Alright, who was that? They did a great job whoever it was!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the cat channeled this and that
      And that is what came out at my mat

      Delete
  9. Hey..hey.. some belligerence here
    Get him off your back good Pat
    Tell him you need no barters, no fear
    Let him be Pat just save the spat

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Save the spat?
      With Brian or this overseas cat
      Maybe both indeed
      As either are here running amock at my feed

      Delete
  10. I wonder who came up with the term "Bees knees"

    or do they have legs nobody can see?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha God only knows
      But it sure flows

      Delete
  11. What's a skivvy? Dammit, I need Anne!! lol I know what a wanker is now! I do!! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A skivvy was usually a servant or someone you use to do demeaning work!

      Delete
    2. LOL look at angry helping you out
      From my weird slang shout

      Delete
  12. Good lord, I usually have to read your post thrice to understand, but this one even million times wouldnt help.

    This is like Canadian English or something?

    "So I am bloody well done with this blog,
    For I have to see a man about a dog"
    - Anything to do with million points lost by a Dog woman? ;-)

    Brown log- is this one more addition to your thesaurus for word "poop"? Overseas people I wonder who they are. Can you add a translate button for posts like this?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did not lose a million points!!! He doesn't have the power to do that. Only the point man can do that, and the cat isn't even a man!

      Delete
    2. LOL all is slang for brit speak
      So you may be up the creek
      As I like to confuse
      And this guy likes to abuse hahahahaha

      Pfft you lose points when the cat says you lose points each time
      For you protect the stinkin mime

      Delete
  13. I am laughing so hard. Your blog is epic.

    Oh and Bloody wankers and annoying bankers--INDEED! :0)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL epic is fun to be
      As the bloody eejits visit my sea

      Delete
  14. That had quite the pace to it! You should set it to music!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha would need a real British or Irish loon
      To do such a tune

      Delete
  15. He kind of hurt my head as well...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha is not swell
      But funny as hell

      Delete
  16. so much ebil in so little verses, lOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ebil has to come
      From my little rhyming bum
      Or the guy who has that speak
      And decided he need to go take a leak

      Delete
  17. OMGoodness!! I'm nearly in tears with laughing here!
    You sound sooooo bloody ENGLISH! Hahaha
    What a bloody rant! LOLOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahaha I picked up many words for my book
      So I had to use it here at my nook

      Delete
  18. You know sometimes I dont understand you so much.... this is one of these days:(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha when I confuse
      Oh dear I can't lose

      Delete
  19. Did sound like quite the English rant! At least there was no zebra in a thong - or maybe there was, I could be wrong?! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, with this english song
      There was no thong

      Delete
  20. chrome dome, poop chutes and wankers
    i have little love for bankers and the guys who own those sea tankers
    let 'er rip and tell it like it is
    on the world i myself regularly take a whiz
    not that my behavior should encourage you
    otherwise we could make an expletive stew

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL oh that would be fun
      And surely must be done
      Take a whiz on and around the world too
      That surely has to come true

      Delete
  21. Replies
    1. haha that they do
      Although them called that, I never knew

      Delete
  22. A post like none before
    This was quite the rant at your shore
    Some creepy guy has lots to say
    It's never boring at your bay.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I may confuse
      And often abuse
      But here at my shore
      I never try and bore

      Delete
  23. wow...I thought Rick Tracker
    had gone on the attack...er.
    Just missing the helicopter
    and some music on the blare.
    hahaha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha obviously that is where I knew the words from
      That allowed me to give a hum
      And a cheat rhyme
      You're almost as bad as a mime haha

      Delete
    2. A mime?
      Not at any time!
      When was I ever that quiet?
      I talk so much it's a riot!

      Yeah, might as well use the info twice
      as the work was lots for a cat who eats mice!

      Delete
    3. haha yeah guess you are just a cheat
      Sometimes with your rhyming beat
      As a non talker you never are
      Here at my bar
      And yeah may as well use
      To confuse and abuse

      Delete
    4. Will you leave those poor mimes alone!!!!!! The mime police hears all! lol

      Delete
    5. The mime police are too damn nosey for their own good
      Go away they should..haha

      Delete
  24. Wow. That creepy guy just gave me a major headache. I didn't really need that, since my head went POP the other day. It took me forever to get it screwed back on. Now it's all messed up again. I say, it's dangerous at your bay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha see as I always say
      Here at my bay
      You might want to pop a pill
      Before and after getting your rhyming thrill

      Delete
  25. I was imagining you saying this in Brit accent
    no mitthered nor sniffing butts here ~

    Have a good night Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My accent would be all over the place
      It would surely be a disgrace

      Delete
  26. I sure did miss your blog man! I'm glad to be back! These rhymes don't stop...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope the rhymes will never stop
      Here at my shop

      Delete
  27. that guy sure seems to like talking about poo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That he does
      With his english buzz

      Delete
  28. Hah, one of those demons popped into you, and then it became too much, and out came a black smoke and such. Fun overseas rhyme, love the slang and sounded really fun when read aloud. But I do have to blame you, I'm getting nothing done, and season four is shortly due. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is where you have been hiding at your den
      And why you put away your pen
      Wait until season five comes into view
      That was the best season between me and you

      Delete