Saturday, June 23, 2012

Crazy Pat And That Hard Head Brat!

So at that other shore the cat was out and about to explore and went into that uncle Hard Head's room where many things tend to loom. It is fun digging through the mess that I will confess but then him and Pat went on about stupid theory strat. Some of the ones they came up with back in the day were crazy to say the least but I suppose that is the nature of the conspiracy or whacko beast.

Did you know the moon is nothing but a spotlight? Yeah, that is right. It blew up long ago thanks to some NASA experiment that caused it to glow and seconds later it went boom. They didn't want people to think aliens were here to bring people doom, so they stuck a spotlight on. Of course there are multiple ones in each country's super secret lawn. Then they just cover it up a bit when they want something like a half moon. Umm yeah Pat is sorta, maybe a loon.

How about to break into Area 52. Forget Area 51 there is nothing there to view. They only let you think that so the crazies will line up outside that door mat. Area 52 is in Vegas somewhere. That is all I can divulge or the men in black might show up at my lair. But in order to get in you will need invisible tech at your bin. You will need bullet proof armor just in case they have invisible detectors in place. Then you wait for someone official to go by and follow them in when the gates opens by the gate guarding guy. Now that you are on the base you get to search out the place. Watch out for the laser traps and the invisible floor gaps. They have spikes set up down below and many other traps that might not show. But then you can find the cure for all that they keep hidden away in their uber secret hall.

Or if you wanted to rob an armored car and get away to some nice sand bar. The first thing you would do is learn the route it took and write that down in a book. Then get a bazooka just in case things don't go well in the first place. Back up plans should always be made if you want to get paid. Next learn where they work and play and then cause some dismay. When they go to look with the rest of the crowd you keep things good and loud. Then switch out their bullets with blanks just in case your first and second plan tanks. Now just pick the biggest pickup day and put your plan into play. Wearing a mask is a given and make sure everyone remains livin'. Find the best place for the ambush, like an alley blocked by buildings or a very big bush. Then play dead in the middle of the road like some run over toad. If they don't come out hit them with the knock out gas as they shout. Use some c4 to blow the back door and when the back guard tries to shoot you smile and taser him on cue. Grab the cash and run away. Now you are rich and own your own home on some sparkling no extradition bay.

The pot hole conspiracy is a big one as we all know there are a ton. No money? Pfft is isn't because of that. It is because they are getting kick backs from the auto worker industry to make their wallets fat. If they only fix one here and there with crap concrete that will once again wear then tires, bumpers and axels will still go pop and out some more bucks you will have to drop. The great pot hole divide is world wide. They have no pride as they stoop to such lows leaving pot holes in rows just to cause the cars to break so in more money they can rake. Not that they last anyway but that is a whole other rant for another day.

This one confused the cat for supposedly hills are really flat. Yeah, all below them is a dip and the word hill should not come from any lip. If you aren't up high on a flat than you are in a dip, what the strat? An optical illusion it all is, this whole hill biz. Everything is really upside down in every town. Walk on your hands and you will see that things really aren't umm hill-y. The highest point is the flat land and everything below from the streets to the desert sand is nothing but a dip thanks to the world doing a flip. Makes no sense what so ever but the cat will let Pat think he is clever.

The cat had enough after that and took off to find something else to eat at that other mat. They leave much on the counter for me to take and unlike Pat they can bake. So I indulge quite a bit, the last time I think it was a biscuit. Maybe it was more like two or three but can you blame me? It didn't even give me gas and that is all the crazy today from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

58 comments:

  1. interesting thoughts on the pot hole conspiracy, not far fetched for sure, to mess your fancy car up, and is ducks down and gets f----ed up, the dip marks make me think, which hurts on saturdays and i need another drink of coffee, see...so have a wonderful weekend...too much coffee makes me pee...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah i pee more now at my sea
      Thanks to the coffee
      And that theory is right
      Making ones money take flight

      Delete
  2. OMG, whoop de dee
    i am first at your sea

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And second too
      I guess to brag about that more coffee needed to come due

      Delete
  3. did i ever tell you that we're having laser traps and invisible floor gaps in the pub as well..hehe...happy saturday pat..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pffft the cat will use a mime to go first
      And make the traps burst

      Delete
  4. I'm a fan of conspiracy theories,
    Someday I'd share some stories...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they can be grand
      And are fun across the land

      Delete
  5. Was the summer ending there yesterday?
    I think I missed that as I read all day!

    Pot holes are bad, I will say
    but it's the sink holes that really cause dismay!
    Someone lost their SUV in one yesterday
    here in the good ol' USA!
    There must be a conspiracy behind those!
    What's going on underground to cause such woes?
    Some secret tunnel, building or site
    kept out of the way so as not to cause fright?
    Maybe they are where the spotlights are kept
    for making the moon still shine while we slept?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is the dinosaurs down below
      As they run to and fro
      Or more likely some test thing
      That from space they give a ring
      Or them building under ground stuff
      In case things get rough

      Delete
    2. If I ever fall through a sink hole here
      while driving along in my jeep without fear
      and land on the back of a t-rex or worse
      I might let out a little curse!

      Delete
    3. Yeah because then you'd be chow
      But if you could catch it some how
      You would be rich
      And could move someplace without a sinkhole ditch

      Delete
  6. ah, so many long passages and no pics, what are we kids supposed to do with such a post, cat?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it's a fancy drinking glass with a stem! :)

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    2. Long just to bug you
      And corrupt your view
      See Petsy knew
      More than you hahaha

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    3. that tells a lot about Petsy :PPPP

      Delete
    4. Yeah she likes to get drunk
      Adding to her coffee funk

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    5. but she does have a good drinking taste if her choice is rum :) I can imagine her as a sailor drinking rum with a patch across her eye :)

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    6. And singing some sailor tune
      Out under the moon

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    7. and a missing tooth behind her smile,
      and a hook on her hand looking all vile....

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    8. With a huge hat as well
      In some jail cell

      Delete
    9. that's right..don't mess me with me!
      or a hardy har har I'll start to sing!

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    10. With a wooden spoon
      Dancing like a loon hahaha

      Delete
    11. bet she puts rum in that upside down cake of hers too!

      Delete
    12. Yep wouldn't doubt it
      Not one bit

      Delete
  7. Conspiracies and state secrets?
    Or someone makes money on the side
    And the moon is really a big spotlight
    Or unwittingly one drops out of sight
    If that's not all, pot-holes mean money
    Goes to show we must be wary
    Of unscrupulous elements out there
    Ready to pounce on those unaware

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Money is surely what it is all about
      That makes many pout
      As they shout
      And even raise the price of trout

      Delete
  8. Oh my gosh! You solved a mystery
    on how they stimulated our economy!
    Never fill the potholes just right
    causing us to buy a car every day & night.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep that is how it is done
      So they can sell them by the ton
      Then suck us dry
      Even those with one eye

      Delete
  9. What interesting cat (sigh!) Lol!
    Take a fly
    and have a good day
    take a little sun
    and go tu run lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Interesting is the cat
      Always at my mat

      Delete
  10. All this talk about space, aliens and conspiracies recently has made me suspicious. The moon is a big spotlight huh? I always knew NASA was up to something...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol well they are broke
      So maybe one day the spotlights may choke
      And then all will know
      The moons fake glow

      Delete
    2. pfft, conspiracy schmiracy.... it's all just a feline plot...

      Delete
    3. If only i got all the dough
      Then the plot would grow

      Delete
  11. So the moon is a spotlight?
    Well, whaddya know?
    That might explain
    the butt cheeks which glow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they sit there
      And make shadow puppets at tjeir lair
      With their rump
      Pretending to take a dump

      Delete
  12. Well I didn't know that about the moon but
    conspiracy abounds everyday like potholes they
    are repairing here and there, who knew they
    were bad in the first place, or it was just done
    to stimulate jobs and economic activity. All
    I know its causing traffic here and there *sighs*

    Have a good weekend Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol yeah the traffic is another thing
      That comes as all dodge the pot holes at their wing

      Delete
  13. Yet another good rhythmic read
    Told tales of the sea
    Keep telling tales I plead
    Until then I'll help myself to mead

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh i will keep coming
      As the rhymes are humming

      Delete
  14. Area 51 is cool to look into

    but their gift shop is cool too

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'll be looking at that spotlight soon!
    Never again will I call it the moon....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha got you converted to my theory
      Now you'llbe more cheery

      Delete
  16. I'd like to visit area 52...when the spotlight shines on it. That would be cool!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I suppose it would
      Bu take caution you should

      Delete
  17. LMAO The hill one is actually pretty funny...especially since I can totally see that as being true! As for the moon being a spotlight, um, no! LOL That's even a bit too bizarre for me. hahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO the hill
      Can thrill if one pops a pill haha
      And even too much for you?
      Damn! I am good it is true
      To out do you at my sea
      That is fun for me

      Delete
  18. Must ne one hell of a spotlight. Don't even mention that pot hole....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yep they are huge and hidden away
      Underneath big batman like mansions out on some bay

      Delete
  19. Haha, conspiracy theories are always fun. I love how some of them are just so out there, it makes you think, that no one would be that stupid to come up with this notion, therefore, perhaps, just somehow, it might be true. The area 52 was classic as is the pot hole theory. Conspiracy theories are really fun to read and look through, but if you don't watch it, you might just find yourself directing Apocalyptica at your zoo, and that would be nothing but disappointing if not cruel

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that would be dumb
      And I will avoid such a hum
      For all those are a load of crap
      No one knows when we will take a dirt nap
      The rest you never know
      As foolish could really make them a go

      Delete
  20. Conspiracy theories of Pat..
    Interesting :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah they are that
      Even though Pat may be full of strat

      Delete