Crazy Pat And That Hard Head Brat!

So at that other shore the cat was out and about to explore and went into that uncle Hard Head's room where many things tend to loom. It is fun digging through the mess that I will confess but then him and Pat went on about stupid theory strat. Some of the ones they came up with back in the day were crazy to say the least but I suppose that is the nature of the conspiracy or whacko beast.

Did you know the moon is nothing but a spotlight? Yeah, that is right. It blew up long ago thanks to some NASA experiment that caused it to glow and seconds later it went boom. They didn't want people to think aliens were here to bring people doom, so they stuck a spotlight on. Of course there are multiple ones in each country's super secret lawn. Then they just cover it up a bit when they want something like a half moon. Umm yeah Pat is sorta, maybe a loon.

How about to break into Area 52. Forget Area 51 there is nothing there to view. They only let you think that so the crazies will line up outside that door mat. Area 52 is in Vegas somewhere. That is all I can divulge or the men in black might show up at my lair. But in order to get in you will need invisible tech at your bin. You will need bullet proof armor just in case they have invisible detectors in place. Then you wait for someone official to go by and follow them in when the gates opens by the gate guarding guy. Now that you are on the base you get to search out the place. Watch out for the laser traps and the invisible floor gaps. They have spikes set up down below and many other traps that might not show. But then you can find the cure for all that they keep hidden away in their uber secret hall.

Or if you wanted to rob an armored car and get away to some nice sand bar. The first thing you would do is learn the route it took and write that down in a book. Then get a bazooka just in case things don't go well in the first place. Back up plans should always be made if you want to get paid. Next learn where they work and play and then cause some dismay. When they go to look with the rest of the crowd you keep things good and loud. Then switch out their bullets with blanks just in case your first and second plan tanks. Now just pick the biggest pickup day and put your plan into play. Wearing a mask is a given and make sure everyone remains livin'. Find the best place for the ambush, like an alley blocked by buildings or a very big bush. Then play dead in the middle of the road like some run over toad. If they don't come out hit them with the knock out gas as they shout. Use some c4 to blow the back door and when the back guard tries to shoot you smile and taser him on cue. Grab the cash and run away. Now you are rich and own your own home on some sparkling no extradition bay.

The pot hole conspiracy is a big one as we all know there are a ton. No money? Pfft is isn't because of that. It is because they are getting kick backs from the auto worker industry to make their wallets fat. If they only fix one here and there with crap concrete that will once again wear then tires, bumpers and axels will still go pop and out some more bucks you will have to drop. The great pot hole divide is world wide. They have no pride as they stoop to such lows leaving pot holes in rows just to cause the cars to break so in more money they can rake. Not that they last anyway but that is a whole other rant for another day.

This one confused the cat for supposedly hills are really flat. Yeah, all below them is a dip and the word hill should not come from any lip. If you aren't up high on a flat than you are in a dip, what the strat? An optical illusion it all is, this whole hill biz. Everything is really upside down in every town. Walk on your hands and you will see that things really aren't umm hill-y. The highest point is the flat land and everything below from the streets to the desert sand is nothing but a dip thanks to the world doing a flip. Makes no sense what so ever but the cat will let Pat think he is clever.

The cat had enough after that and took off to find something else to eat at that other mat. They leave much on the counter for me to take and unlike Pat they can bake. So I indulge quite a bit, the last time I think it was a biscuit. Maybe it was more like two or three but can you blame me? It didn't even give me gas and that is all the crazy today from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.