Monday, June 18, 2012

Irish Air Was In A Funk With This Drunk!

So the cat was finishing his weekly session of fertilzing Irish Air's gardens at her shore when I snuck by and I heard something I had to explore. For it seems she does not think much of the Alliance at all. At least when she was drunk as she gave the below little call. It was quite funny to listen too as well but I had to leave after she broke into the farmer and the dell. Or row row row your boat. She mixed them up so well but either way I still have to gloat. She rhymed sorta good. So take that into consideration you should. Here you go word for word what Anne said at her show. At least that the cat can recall as I did hear her through the wall.

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
I hate that bloody cat.
I wish he'd bugger off.
The eejit has to go,
Maybe I can drown him in a trough.
But the wanker doesn't stop,
He just keeps coming back.
I hate what he puts in my mind,
As I think of him giving the viking woman's rump a smack.
Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Now I got this package,
That is staring at me.
It smells kind of ripe,
I should pitch it in the sea.
But the bloody thing,
Has to be known.
Although I know it's a can,
Of the cat's special cologne.
Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Figures it is poo,
In a pringle can.
Feck that ebil cat.
I'll tie him to a ceiling fan.
The bugger will get his due,
Before I am through.
The Alliance will win,
I'll turn the eejit to goo.
Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Bloody fecking hell,
What was that
An army of fleas
From the rotten cat.
That wanker has to die,
For making me itch,
He's going to wind up,
In a ditch like a little bitch.
Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
I've been turned blue,
What the fecking hell?
That eejit is over,
I'll ring the wanker's bell.
I think I'm seeing things now,
Look at that pretty cow.
Wow the alliance doesn't stand a chance,
Just look up that huge rump as he takes a bow.
Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-diiii-deeee-diiii-deeee-diiiiiii!

Now wasn't that fun? That was such an epic tale that Irish Air spun. I knew she knew she could never beat the cat. All now know too thanks to my rhyming mat. It is a good thing she has gardens to fertilize too or I never would have caught this to repeat for you. I probably smashed poor Dez's hopes. So keep him away from any long ropes. At least Irish Air has nice fertilized grass and for that she can thank my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

81 comments:

  1. This was quite the tale indeed, that the cat heard Irish air sneeze, as he was watering the flowers and the weeds. The pringles can of poop, well that is certainly the type of gift, that can make you droop and get you miffed, and that's before came the army of fleas, that facilitate the itch with ease.

    Funny thing, in that first section there you mentioned the cat kept coming back, and that sparked a memory from when I was a kid. While watching saturday morning cartoon fare, there used to be this piece that was played a lot, and in it was a song, the cat came back the very next day…I think I'll have to see if it's on youtube, as I remembered how my little sister you to sing it all the time way back then, as she would do with any catchy tune the tv sent

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, never thought I'd see the day again, where I'd be first to comment at your bay

      Delete
    2. wow...and you weren't even trying to be first
      with that long burst!

      Delete
    3. Yeah with that one you surely weren't trying to be first
      Put poor Brian and Hank to shame with your burst
      LOL I know that song as well
      As it can be annoying as hell
      Singing the damn thing over and over
      Getting stuck in your head makes you wish for rover

      Delete
    4. haha thought he was a goner, but the cat came back…yeah, much more annoying now than I remember it, although my sis did a good job making music annoying way back when. hahaha yeah, I guess I wasn't really trying to be first lol

      Delete
    5. haha nope but you were
      And yeah the lyrics can ruffle my fur

      Delete
  2. can you really make glue out of a cat, did not realize that , thought it was horses, or do they make boots and purses...a ceiling fan might be quite the ride, so you better go and hide...so poop in the pringles, sure wont help when you mingle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Drunk people says the darnest things
      Like they think they have wings
      The cat will never hide
      As she can't catch my stride..haha
      And just a little off from first
      Ruined your streak with the first burst

      Delete
  3. Irish air
    written with flair
    extraordinaire!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not sure she will agree
      But maybe we shall see

      Delete
  4. Oh man, The Alliance is just getting beat down here lately. Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di! How the hell do I say that LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the cat usually hits when the Alliance members are not here to strike back.... says lots about him.....

      Delete
    2. Yep the cat will always win
      What a sin

      Pffft the cat had this written along time ago
      Now is just when it was it's turn to flow
      As with this stinkin arm
      Hard to write anything else to raise alarm

      Delete
    3. That's where you're wrong!! The Alliance can never be defeated you feckless bastard!!

      Delete
    4. Pfft we shall see about that
      You will be done in by a cat

      Delete
  5. Her Irish Highness Annzie, the coruler and viceempress of the Alliance doesn't swear like this at all! She is posh and refined as queen Lizzy (whom we do not like since she is our English enemy).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pfft when she gets on the liquor
      She sure does bicker
      With her fake airline
      Sounding not so divine

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    2. SorryY Dez darling but I have to swear at this ebil cat. You're a gobshite cat, a feckin gobshite. And an arsemonkey!!

      Delete
    3. LOL knew I could get her going
      With this showing

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    4. Gobshite??? What does that mean?!

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    5. LOL what do you think?
      Sure doesn't mean she wants to tickle me pink

      Delete
  6. "I've been turned blue, What the fecking hell?"

    He he. Meet the newest Smurf: Rhyming Smurf. Though something tells me he won't make it into any future movies or tv shows.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A new rhyming smurf
      Trying to take over my turf
      That will not do
      That much is true

      Delete
  7. "For making me itch,
    He's going to wind up,
    In a ditch like a little bitch"

    I think I heard a pimp say this to his ho once.

    Masterfully written, as only the Irish can. Love it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You hang around with pimps?
      Hope no one get any umm limps

      Delete
    2. This explains the perfection with Brandon's ho cartoon. Explains a lot actually.

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    3. I guess it would
      And as well it should

      Delete
  8. Tying a cat to a ceiling fan...
    Definitely not a cat's idea of what's fun

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah she is so mean
      Trying to create such a scene

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    2. My dad actually did that to a kitten once

      his moral levels were dunce.

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    3. Oh yeah I would agree
      Not at sight that would cause glee

      Delete
  9. I'm quite sure that Anne
    is going to hit you with a frying pan!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL have to catch me first
      And even see the burst

      Delete
    2. Something told me to log on today, something whispered in my ear "That feckin' cat is up to something, something vile, something evil, something that must be stopped."

      Delete
    3. hahaha glad your ESP told you to log on
      So much more fun with you here at my lawn

      Delete
  10. "Feck that ebil cat.
    I'll tie him to a ceiling fan"

    reminded me of an incident where a group of retards tortured this cat with fire crackers stuck up its arse. really horrible.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bah that is horrible indeed
      They should have things shoved up their ass for such a deed

      Delete
    2. methinks Jaya is giving nice ideas to Annzie!

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    3. Pffft my rump would just suck it in
      It is quite the abyss at my bin

      Delete
    4. Too much information, cat, too much information. I've never thought I'd get an info on the Abyssinia of your bum :)

      Delete
    5. LOL since when does TMI apply to you
      You are the one that drops each clue

      Delete
  11. hahaha, love this. You are the one to define "sportive" and "funny" and "humorous". Way to go Cat.
    You are missing the scorning, dont you? I dont think she is going to give you free ticket for fertilzing their beautiful garden.
    If her flowers smell like byproduct, I can visualize Anne turning into blue hulk and thrashing you "puny cat" :)
    You have brought this on yourself. Let me grab a lawn chair and start with popcorn, wouldnt want to miss the show :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I have to use all kinds of humor at my sea
      And that is why I have a crack in bush number three
      So I can hide
      And she can never change the tide
      For the cat will always win each time
      Enjoy the show as away I rhyme

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    2. Crack in bush number three? Not going to pretend that I understood that.

      Cat winning. You are saying it but Anne and Dez seem to be gaining and busting out champagne. Even Lurker is on their side.

      :)

      Delete
    3. Pfft see they need support
      To even contend with my court
      And bush with the crack
      Is right on the top pic at my shack

      Delete
  12. I like that beautiful Cat
    It just keeps coming back
    Perseverance If I know one
    To be #1 is a lot of good fun
    Will just keep lurking
    Luck has a way of coming

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah luck will find
      You not behind
      And in number one
      One more day under my sun

      Delete
  13. I am out on my porch with a bottle of gin right now cat and I got a shot of one of your minions that I'm going to post when I get around to feckin' posting again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL a new minion you say
      Should be fun to see when you get chance to post at your bay

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    2. the cat has minions? Where? Where? Are they invisible?

      Delete
    3. You will never see
      Until they are upon thee

      Delete
  14. I shouldn't tell you this but I found a stray cat in my gardens and now she's my kitty. I named her Fang and she sits on the porch in the chair next to me and purrs. In the evening when I'm working in the gardens she sits not far from me. She the most wonderful kitty and she came to me when I needed a companion. So if you sent her, she has betrayed you!

    The Hubby is having surgery on Wednesday and it's a repeat of the last one he had. Very scared right now Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It'll be alright Anne, good luck! Don't mind Pat, he's gone to feck!

      Delete
    2. Another kitty at your sea
      That is fine by me
      Always nice to see a cat
      Greeted at another's mat
      Seems to have a thing for you too
      Not sure why, maybe she doesn't have a clue..LOL
      Not sent by me
      Maybe it was someone with more divinity

      Made it through one
      Sure the same will be done
      And yeah I've gone to feck
      Like I was hit by a truck

      Delete
    3. Best of luck, Anne. I'll be praying for all of you. xo

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    4. The best for you and hubby Anne I will pray!xx

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    5. The cat will poo just for you
      And I guess Pat can pray too

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    6. The kitty is not related to Pat's evil cat
      It is providing gentle love at your mat
      We love and think of you each day
      for you and Hubby we will pray

      xoxoxo

      Delete
    7. Awwww even some xo love from the eye
      Sadly my eyes are still dry

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    8. Careful Anne...I had one adopt me...and now I have nine! lol. :)

      Hope all goes well on Wednesday, too!

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    9. good to see comments from you Anne. He will be alright.

      Delete
    10. You only have eight
      Lying at my gate

      Delete
  15. LMAO, Cat! That was funny at least... I had to read the "can of the cat's special cologne" twice to get what you meant. For a second there I thought you bought a bottle of Acqua Di Gio! lol

    Eeejjitttt (Of course I had to say that word out loud. I hope the Japanese didn't understand me. lol)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO nope
      That would bring the cat's sniffer to the end of its rope
      Has to be his own smell
      To cause others hell
      hahaha the Japanese
      Might think you are once more scratching fleas

      Delete
    2. Enough with the fleas!! I don't want them!!!

      Did you ever fix your computer?

      Delete
    3. Nope still typing from my phone right
      Really want to makevit go ka pow

      Delete
  16. Thats the worst flavor of Pringles ever!! Once you poop you cant stop!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol and when you get the runs
      You can fill tons

      Delete
  17. What an Irish music er..er..tale Pat ~

    I enjoyed reading the post and the comments..ha..ha...

    Have a good night ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha yeah the comments can be such fun
      Under my sun

      Delete
  18. There once was a cat from Halifax
    Who went to go visit a chick named Jax
    When he boarded the flight
    He got such a fright
    The pilot was named Anne
    with a new flight plan
    Irish Air took to the sky
    and the cat said it's last goodbye!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PS - my daughter helped write this ha ha ha

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    2. Well the crappy plane i flew on to get there
      Seemed like one from her lair
      So you never know
      And such a cheater needing help with your rhyming flow

      Delete
  19. I have been trying to get rid of fleas from my puppy since I got him. I get them down and then they come back with a mad fury.

    None of this rhymes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they can be a pain to get rid off
      Be nice if we could give them a good shove

      Delete
  20. haah what kind of fling??? I'm so intrigued by these Pringles cans! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol the fling depends on your mood
      As it could be nice or rather umm crude

      Delete
  21. OMG I dreamt of having fleas last night ... or was it lice? Whatever, it was horrible! I got half way through this and realized I needed a degree in rhymolgy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL a degree could be hard to come by
      But light a match and make those fleas fry

      Delete