The Hicks Perform Tricks!
"stamp blow job"
Hmm how do you think a stamp can do that? Does an empty one that is rather fat go over the you know and as you push in it gives a blow?
"bunny screw death"
You screwed the poor bunny to death? Are you out of breath? Did it at least enjoy it? Hmm I don't want to know, ignore that last bit.
"reproduction gas can"
Wow! You made a can that can reproduce gas. Now that is impressive to my little rhyming ass. Can it make the noise too? Tell me it's true.
"things you/can make/that/are/funny"
Bravo! You did the trick you poor little hick. For by typing that you are right on the money and oh so funny. I laugh with you not at you. I swear it is true.
The Hicks Give Condom Tricks!
"in the mind of a condom"
A condom has a mind? Wow, that must have been quite the find. I thought it just found the hole and that was its only goal.
"boys balls condom"
They make those too? Hmph, who knew? Are they snug as a bug in a rug or do they tug? I bet you tested them out on some poor pug.
"without a condom rage comic"
So if you don't have one to get your jollies on you leave her there and read Spawn? You realize spandex on paper with some guy stopping a caper will ruin the mood and you are just being rude?
"ugly animals with glasses on"
Ummm just because it is hairy does not mean you pet the fairy or whatever animal you think it is. Maybe you need a non redneck quiz.
If only you didn't type it as well and find my rhyming cell then all could have remained on the down low. But now about your eruptions all know.
Hick Advice That Will Make You Think Twice!
"escaping through the door she's created as the house behind them"
Do you think there is a point in there? Anywhere? Somewhere? Who would type such a thing? I guess it means if you see a hick run before the doorbell can ring.
"he let out bad fart very gross coughing it is lingering"
So this is what you do with a bad fart? Cough as it lingers and wait for it to part. Maybe that is some solid advice. It must be for you typed the damn thing twice.
"how to keep rats away by cleaning"
Typical hick, giving us the title to the flick but forgetting the info needed to stop such an act. I guess that is just another hick fact.
"glowy makes you glow"
Now that is some solid advice there. Try it if you dare. You need to find some glowy and you can glow. Be sure to spread it on from head to toe.
"pull the blanket over my head and make it go away"
How to get rid of anything from view. You don't need to flush it down the loo. Just grab a blanket and stick it over your head. The psycho axe murder won't be there anymore to make you dead.
"breath dang you"
Yeah forget such things as CPR. Just yell that to all of those near and far. They will come back to life with ease thanks to your stench filled breeze.
"three two one let it rip"
Count down from three before letting it rip at your sea. That is how it must be done in order to count for lingering and coughing fun. Aren't you glad you know that now? If you already did take a bow.
"you ate glue"
That is just eww. Why would you eat glue? Better yet why type such a thing telling me? Do I look like I care if your sixty year old self pretends to be three?
"all pogs goto heaven"
I always wondered where pogs went when they died. I admit I even cried. Those poor pogs have such a rough life. All that slamming had to have caused them such strife.
"making toilet paper"
I do not want to know what you use. I will declare you the toilet paper muse. The leaves, the newspaper and the odd used condom to wipe I promise never to type. Oops I guess I blew that. Blame it on Pat.
And the winner at my sea for the sixth time this has been done by with glee.
"how to get a gap between your thighs"
Yeah there is no answer but don't shake your fist for there is a twist. It seems some hick friends came back and told me how to do such a thing at my shack.
fat on the inside of your thighs
naked old hags
weiner with fur
Did you get all of that? Don't worry I will be nice and interpret for you at my mat. So the hicks guide to get a gap between your thighs is to, and remember this is all true:
Grab the fat on the inside of your thighs and if that is hard, pretend it is french fries. Then find a hairless rabbit to view and please fight the urge to screw. Next place it in a snowman ass I guess you'll have to wait for summer and fall to pass. Then surround it with naked old hags, if too saggy you can cover them up with grocery bags. Now insert a weiner with fur and listen to them purr. And voila! You may now be a tad raw but you have a gap between your thighs. Aren't those hicks wise?
No hicks or rednecks were harmed in the making of this post although they may soon come for your host. I may have to lie low or suffer a bunny screwing type blow. Oh that is a nasty thought as was all of this a whole lot. Who types this stuff? Forming a coherent thought for them must be rough. Either way the sixth time has come to pass and they are still just as insane to my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.