Monday, June 4, 2012

When The Seinfeld Syndrome Decides To Strike, It Means You Take A Hike!

So Blabber was well err blabbing on about the stupid reasons she told dates to take a hike and Pat of course has plenty of things he doesn't like. It seems the Seinfeld crew had this syndrome as well and I'm sure so do many of you where you dwell. So the Seinfeld Syndrome has struck and here are ten of the stupid, yet oh so valid reasons, Pat knew dates were strat out of luck.

1. Man Hands that you can see from the stands.
Who really wants to date someone who has hands like your roommate?

2. The Straw Chewer needs to drown in a sewer.
Really? Chew some damn gum and not some straw that leaves you with spit when you hum.

3. Gum Popper needs to get thrown from a chopper.
If you have to snap it every two seconds over and over go find a butt sniffing rover.

4. Thought remakes were great creating lots of hate.
Who wants to see the same damn thing? Just because you are some dumb memory starved blond at your wing.

5. Memory Game = Lame!
Did you remember this and this and this. It happened ten minutes ago I'm sure I didn't miss.

6. The Everything Weeper, doesn't lead to a keeper.
Oh look a shoe, a kid, a dog, a pile of poo. Each thing you have to go boo hoo.

7. Announce to all when you go to the bathroom stall.
The elderly couple in the back really need to know you had to go do such an attack.

8. I Love Doug Tattoo. Excuse me while I pretend to use the loo.
Yeah you need to go back to Doug or hide that under a rug.

9. The dreaded "Eh" needs to go away.
Who can stand that thing? Hearing it after every word they sing.

10. And for number ten comes an easy one, Ben!
Sorry, just could not do it Benjamina or however you spell it. Who still gives such a name at their pit?

And so those are just a few Pat left in his rear view because he has such a syndrome at our sea and of course the cat just thinks it is funny. Now if you excuse me for a bit the cat has to go do it. Nope not that, get your head out of the gutter at my mat. As the cat has a case of gas and it sure is coming out my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

61 comments:

  1. Seinfeld Syndrome allowed to roam?
    Munching gums like a hungry guy
    Remakes would usually cost a bomb
    Marching to the loo is not a good buy
    Have sci-fi with all the contraptions
    Sound and special effects expect the best
    Seinfeld with all the 'eh' can be forgiven
    Give it a break it'll not be a mess

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All the eh has to go
      I hate that word whether for real of show
      When one does it after every single line
      You want to fill their yap with pine
      And the remakes do bomb too
      But that delights me between me and you

      Delete
  2. I'm guilty, I'm guilty!!!!!! I always feel the need to tell someone when I'm going to tinkle. Idk why, but just in case that person needs to find me. LOL hahahahaha Love this post...too funny!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL well just telling one person isn't bad
      Like who is with you lass or lad
      But having to shout it to the whole damn resturant room
      Just spells doom
      Too many crazies out there
      Of that we are all aware

      Delete
    2. You're telling me someone stood up, eh hemmed real loud, and then said "I'm going to the bathroom"? LMAO NO way... hahahahahahaha In public? That's very odd..no way, no way!! LOL

      Delete
    3. Actually one time during one of our meetings, during production issues we sometimes go into these marathon calls and this gal, said "i want to go to bathroom" and then the global ultra posh, tech grand meeting turned to standup comedy audience in a sec. Yep everyone needs a potty break, you got to go when you got to go and i wanted to say the same too for longtime and all such, more like group theraphy of gallbladder addicts. I can never forget that meeting.

      Delete
    4. Did eh hemme on bit
      Just announced it
      Loud enough for all to hear
      And you that is very very odd and I left her in fear
      But at least all knew
      She had to go to the loo

      Delete
    5. LOL sounds like a meeting for the ages
      As the bathroom urge rages
      And off all had to go
      To answer natures call at their work show

      Delete
    6. I actually think that she thought she was on mute, when she wasnt. Her loo break really gave us a break that day, the call was going on for around 12 hours straight, I kid you not. :)

      I am intrigued by these posts about the weirdos you guys had to date, you could do a whole book about this. So darn funny.

      Hurray to you weirdo-magnets! :)

      Delete
    7. hahahaha Cap, that's hysterical!! hahaha Poor girl must have been mortified. lol

      Delete
    8. haha weirdo magnets in every friggin way
      You don't know the half of it at my bay
      As they just keep coming
      Like some drum that keeps drumming

      Delete
  3. I always assumed Seinfeld syndrome was how jokes were innovative in Seinfeld but now looks like something all sitcoms use so basically it was original at the time but now it looks unoriginal. Great list man, eh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah more than just a show
      As now in dating life it is all aglow
      Which one can see
      From those that are picky

      Delete
  4. Those are great Pat. I wouldn't be able to put up with most of those either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See I'm not the only one
      Who has to go, scat, run

      Delete
  5. Read Jax's same article, with such high standards, it is nothing but taking celibacy oath for life.
    I am going to repeat what I said there, you may do 10000 reviews and find your perfect partner yet after marriage you may find that you are duped.
    Seinfield syndrome, never knew.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bah you can go to the corner bar
      So I wouldn't go that far
      Although you could catch a disease
      Which would not please
      10,000 reviews is one too many as well
      I'd rather be single all my days then go through that hell

      Delete
  6. hahaha I love Seinfeld as you probably know.
    Their reruns are as funny as the original show.
    I wouldn't want to date a straw chewer, that is true
    but I'd take it over a nail-biter between me and you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the nail biter is blah as well
      And I knew you liked Seindfeld at your cell
      As picky it made me
      Yep, we'll blame that for such acts at bush number three

      Delete
  7. I hated the memory game because I never won. At least I remembered how to play the game. I should get points for that. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I always won at that game
      But doing it on a date is not tame

      Delete
  8. no wonder you is single, cat, with a list like this :PPPP
    I'm popping a gum into your ear right now....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah single for a long long time
      Oh well in some ways it is sublime

      Delete
  9. I wish I could dump my co-workers (if I had the power to do that) who gum pop

    I can't believe over the years most of the managers never made them stop

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Surprised they don't make them stop
      Unless it's a place where they can get away with wearing a flip flop

      Delete
  10. im sometimes guilty of chewing the straw...but thats only when my company is a bore.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess one just better not bore
      And no straw chewing you will explore

      Delete
  11. I kid you not, I once dated a girl with man hands. Or maybe I should say Hulk hands. I went to hold her hand, and they just engulfed mine. I mean, they made my hands look like a child's. I never called her back.

    (She wasn't huge, either. She was a 5 foot tall, 120 lb Asian girl. Somehow even worse, right?)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yes that is ever worse
      And quite perverse
      I would never call her back either at my hall
      And would always ignore her call

      Delete
    2. ABFTS- Your Asian hand story is interesting, because to my knowledge in ancient China they tie girls foot with wooden planks so that it doesnt grow, because girls with small foot were considered submissive and more of "perfect homemaker" material.

      So, Asian girl with hulk hands, you should have taken her to circus. :)

      Delete
    3. LOL could have gotten payment for her as well
      That would be swell

      Delete
  12. This list was great just like Seinfeld, that much is true,
    and I love me some Hubba Bubba gum to snap, pop and chew.
    now I'm off to the loo so I can pee since I haven't gone all day,
    I've just been so busy, what can I do about it, eh?

    Happy Monday, Pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can take you eh
      And go flush it down the loo at your bay..haha
      That would make a happy monday
      And that is all I have to say
      Not really though
      But the rhyme will stop its flow

      Delete
  13. banjamina is he really a tina? i'ma not volunteering to check, what the heck, esp if s(he) has man hands...where is that bathroom again? dont worry i wont announce my leavin'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha no was not a guy
      At least as far as I knew as I didn't pry
      But was out of there fast
      As it did not last
      And as long as you can find it
      Don't need to announce it one bit

      Delete
  14. Man hands on a girl is quite disturbing! Oftentimes, girls with man hands have a square jaw and stand 6 feet tall!

    And don't get me started on gum poppers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL no she was rather short as well
      For Pat doesn't find tall ones swell
      And yeah the gum poppers
      Need to be whacked in their choppers

      Delete
  15. Omg! I love Seinfeld. It's so great. Man hands, the magic lugie, the pirate shirt, the hot tub...

    Too many to try and... lug? :D <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL could go on and on
      As many were great and that is no con

      Delete
  16. Seinfeld was the best but it's sometimes hard to understand why?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it was about nothing and all
      I guess it was just the right mixture and they were on the ball

      Delete
  17. Ewww. Yeah, man hands on a female just aren't good, especially if her name is Benjamina.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yep that they aren't one bit
      And easily cause a fit

      Delete
  18. Seinfeld=real life. So glad my life is not as complicated as he made his.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah would be a bit of a complication I'd say
      But makes for some fun things to do all day

      Delete
  19. #3 has to be the worst. I'm surprised you didn't mention anything about a girl hating cats. That would have to be a deal breaker for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh there have been a few of those
      And out the door she goes

      Delete
  20. I don't hear much of the dreaded "eh" here ~

    Just reading up the comments too ~ its fun ~

    Have a good night ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yeah I don't here much of it here
      That is why when I do it strikes fear
      Fun comments as well
      That I can usually say at my cell

      Delete
  21. But I like saying "eh". It's better than saying "huh". :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL well people don't say huh after every damn word
      So it doesn't sounds as absurd

      Delete
  22. This was a cool post... I gotta go to the bathroom now, bye!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Enjoy that
      Thanks for telling the cat

      Delete
  23. Those gum poppers
    drive me hoppers
    especially when
    life gives me choppers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they need to go pop
      And get busted by a gum cop

      Delete
  24. I don't hate EH but I do hate YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? or EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! And I really, really hate unnecessary remakes like Robocop, Spiderman The Zillionth Reboot, Total Recall When You Still Recall the Original, and I'm not even going to mention Superman. You know what I'm saying?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yes remakes are the most awful thing ever
      They just prove stupid hollywood is no longer, if they ever were, clever

      Delete
  25. They should make remakes of the remakes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they will
      Just give them a while and actually a few of them they already have at the stupid hollywood hill

      Delete