Tuesday, July 31, 2012

A Thrown Bone Will Get A dVerse Groan!

Sometimes don't you just wish you can throw something dVerse at someones head that has just caused you dread? If you say no you are a liar or you have already lit such a fire. But we all show restrain from boarding such a train because that could be bad and jail time could be had. Pat still snaps elastics off at work and hits one or two giving off a smirk. So things can be done and it could turn out fun.

Throw a cup or throw a bone,
It will surely cause a moan.
That would hurt,
And blood may spurt.

So reframe from that,
Or you could be a dead cat.
Best case have to not drop the soap,
For being such a dope.

Instead throw a pickle,
That would surely just tickle.
Throw a balloon,
Maybe with some water at the baffoon.

A pair of dirty underwear?
Wear gloves at your lair.
A paper airplane,
Would surely never pop a vein.

Maybe pull a Gambit
And throw some cards with your fit.
All fifty two,
With a joker and the rules card too.

A losing lottery ticket,
As a way to picket.
Could be a win win,
As losing is such a sin.

A pringle can full of poo?
Scratch that, as that would be eww.
Plus that would hurt too,
And a smell would come due.

Always some nerf stuff,
Or something with fluff.
Like a little teddy bear.
But then they may think you care.

So never throw it at a creeper,
Or you may have to dig deeper.
And throw them out the door,
Before things become that of creeper lore.

Could throw a flip flop,
The end of a mop,
Or a bird feather.
Might go far if there is stormy weather.

A snowball works too.
But those things only come due,
Once a year,
And they can hurt I fear.

Some deodarant if they stink,
But that could hurt and turn them pink.
Better off sitting that on their table,
Attached to a cable.

Then give it a yank,
And smack them with something rank.
Like a Newfie cod fish.
When you kiss it you can make a wish.

Bleh! That is something not for me.
Plus you can only get there by crossing a sea.
Or an ocean,
But it would still cause an commotion.

So there are options for all,
Rather than making a shelf fall.
That just means your are evil indeed.
Go get a shrink and take heed.

But elastics are fun,
As Pat does that a ton.
Just don't aim anything high,
Or pop goes an eye.

There we go. Now you can throw. Whether it be a pickle or a snow ball. You have plenty of options at your hall. Good luck as you chuck and I hope you don't get a what the duck. For that could lead to bad things at your wings. So before who you decide to make them kiss the newfie wannabe bass, remember not to blame my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

64 comments:

  1. There's some amazing and DVerse prank ideas Pat, although I don't know if revenge should regularly be on the mat.

    I'd love to throw the cat a bone but know it hates dogs and may rhyme and moan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah will hate that
      And bury it under the mat
      With some poo
      In case a mutt comes and sees it in view haha

      Delete
  2. I'm throwing a right hook at Ray,
    and making a lot of peoples day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well that will surely due
      Just watch for his left in your view

      Delete
  3. I choose a pickle, chips and a lottery ticket ~

    Morning Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Morning to you
      And not bad ones to come due
      Especially if the ticket were to win
      Making you rich at your bin

      Delete
  4. I'll pick some snowballs
    Or a balloon full of water
    Needn't give them my all
    Just some friendly banter

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah banter is grand
      Can do it a while in my land
      Snowballs work well too
      A whole lot cleaner than a pringle can of poo

      Delete
  5. throwing your underwear could be the worse
    depending on your rate of spurt
    a deadly weapon it could be defined
    and you with nothing to hide behind

    i make my rubber bands into guns
    wrapped from forefinger to thumb
    no need to squeal its all in good fun

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah depending on how well you wipe
      Could be rather ripe
      And may leave you bare
      But would give many a scare
      Rubber bands and guns are great
      So no one should give them hate

      Delete
  6. Don't waste your
    time
    it's too
    sublime.

    For if they
    sass
    they are an
    ass.

    So turn your
    cheek
    and go.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the best way
      Give them a cheek display
      Maybe even a fool moon
      If they are a real goon

      Delete
  7. you forgot the traditional frying pan
    or don't they do that in Newfie Land?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that's the codfish. Oh wait, no! You have to kiss the cod ;) lol

      Delete
    2. lol...you have to kiss it?
      And then what...if it doesn't turn into a prince, you throw it into the frying pan? lol.....

      Delete
    3. LOL the frying pan I forgot I suppose
      But you can drop that on someones toes
      And yeah you have to kiss the stupid fish
      Then I guess it becomes a dish

      Delete
  8. You are right best case is not to drop the soap, especially if you in the slammer. OUCH!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah or just leave it there
      Don't bend over or you'll surely have an ouch affair

      Delete
  9. A pringle can full of poo?
    That is something I would do
    However I have one better,
    because I am just that clever.

    Grab that snowball you already mentioned,
    use natures yellow to your discretion.
    Now grab as much as you can, pack it together,
    when that mess hits there eye, they will love you forever :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO oh that is a good one
      I will have to remember that fun
      And find an enemy I hate
      Then make that their fate

      Delete
  10. Please do not throw a pickle!! They taste nasty and smell 500 times worse!!!! If one of those things hits me I will not be a happy camper :) lol

    I'm more of a remote thrower myself...ok, and maybe my cell phone... LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL even with a stinky pickle
      It would only tickle
      Where as a remote or phone
      Would surely get a groan
      As you whack texters in the forehead with it
      Over some texting fit hahaha

      Delete
    2. LOL Whack texters in the head??? lol That would be interesting to see :)

      I would rather a hit hurt than be stinky. Bleh!

      P.S. Gerard took note of your use of the word "stinky" LMAO

      Delete
    3. LMAO forgot about Gerard with that one
      But with stinky bum you have me using the word a ton haha
      Nah I'll take the stink over the hurt any day
      Can always go wash that off or jump in some fish poo filled bay

      Delete
  11. I wish snowballs came around all year

    they're fun to hit stuff with tear

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah as long as they didn't bring cold
      I'd join that fold

      Delete
  12. Ready to help you
    with feather
    as it brindgs you
    to someone...
    in stormy weather :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a fact I never knew
      Will remember that when the storms start to brew

      Delete
  13. Twas a long time ago when a rubic's cube was my choice.
    No one got hurt, thankfully!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Couldn't make all the colors go together on it
      So you had a throwing fit? haha

      Delete
  14. Drop the soap? Nope, rather swing from a rope.

    (seriously kill me before prison soap droping)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL with that I will agree
      No soap I want to drop if I'm not free

      Delete
  15. Replies
    1. Glad I'm fun
      Always try under my sun

      Delete
  16. The pringle can full of poo is my favourite verse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I have many at my sea
      To throw with glee

      Delete
  17. ha..i wish i had a snowball you know...comes in handy in many situations...smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it does come in handy
      And can be quite dandy

      Delete
  18. I've often wished I had a ray gun that would suck the air out of some idiot's car tire. Not damage it, but just give them a flat. For being a jerk.

    But then I'd be guilty of being one myself. I'm such a hypocrite. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha well that sounds like a fun idea to me
      Guess I'm a hypocrite too at my sea

      Delete
  19. Hmm. Maybe we should all just be like Calvin and start storing snowballs in the freezer or something. :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A whole freezer dedicated to the snowball
      That would surely drive some up the wall

      Delete
  20. I dont like dirty undewear;( and here you again with the poo sigh!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You seem to bring up the poo
      You must like it, I know it's true

      Delete
    2. ha ! silly!!!!! I dont like and you always talk about poo

      Delete
    3. You bring it up though
      I know you like the poo to show hahaha

      Delete
  21. Creeper? Do you play any Minecraft, Pat?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope never played that one
      Are the creepers fun?

      Delete
  22. I have lots of stuff to throw at my lair! Maybe I'll pull out the hail balls from my freezer and start thowing those.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That sounds like a plan
      Of one I am a fan

      Delete
  23. I told you Dez doesnt come again! where is he??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As I said
      He has his panties in a bunch so his commenting is dead

      Delete
  24. I'll give it a whirl
    And try to hurl
    A comment in verse.
    Oh well... I could do worse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah not bad
      A rhyme makes all glad
      With a simple verse
      You didn't even curse

      Delete
  25. ha, yeah tossing stuff sure is thought about, no matter your status or lack of clout, flinging free the tensions away, is quite the way to spend the day. I wonder how many times old flappy got a rubberband flicked her way lol Fluff, hah, my sister was just saying how my niece loves fluff now, but it gets all over the place, which is nothing new, as her face is always painted with the food she eats, but toss as well she thinks is grand, as mashed potatoes are flung about the kitchen in my land. The Gambit references sure was neat, as was the joker, although a bit differently used, in the same stanza's ending feat. Fun, in fact, i think I'll crumble up this scribbled up paper and take a shot at the wastepaper basket….woops, missed, will have to try again. Fun write. Thanks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well you can always go for the rebound
      Or get some help from the either hound
      As a kid anything is fun to throw
      Although quite the mess with the potato haha

      Delete
  26. Yikes, there is a lot of messy stuff flinging around here. All that I could manage would be the paper plane, the snow, and the balloon, but thanks for the other suggestions. Really I'd much rather float like your bird's feather in stormy weather. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well to each there own
      Rather not throw the phone
      Then I guess a snowball will come due
      Or fly away in the weather from view

      Delete
  27. the beginning of this reminded me of my tenants i just evicted, she threw a cup at him, it made a hole in my wall. She called me crying that one of her cats was dead, won't explain how that happened. she got a roommate, and he left wore than dirty underwear, he left one of those thing Austin Powers called a "Sweedish Penis Enlarger" in the shower. i got a ticket driving home from that house, and she had a can of pringle, but the poo was in a 8 gal container...should i go on?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BLAH! Sounds like renters from hell
      They are not swell
      Have to spray every inch of that house with bleach
      Even the spots you can't reach
      One reason I never want to be a land lord at all
      Although quite the stories you can recall haha

      Delete
  28. Pat,
    Thanks for throwing us this bone,
    I sure hope they don't litter your home;
    pringle poo is quite enough--
    you wouldn't need to throw other stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Okay I'll stick with the poo
      Here at my zoo
      As that is the best
      And has always passed the test

      Delete
  29. I hate it when someone throws a tantrum
    or a curve ball at me when I don't expect it
    or something throws me for a loop
    but thankfully no one has ever thrown soup!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha soup would make quite the mess
      Never thought of throwing that I will confess

      Delete