Fifty Shades Of Smut Is The Equivalent Of What Comes Out My Butt!

Actually that is an insult to the cat's poo, which is sad but true. I'll try to stray from the loo but sadly this is where this thing belongs between me and you. For it is the equivalent of watching Barney, cleaning the litter and walking behind the pink curtain to see more than the wizard. Yeah, those images together are quite the blizzard. But let's back up a bit as I continue this ranting fit.

So Anne and Blabber wondered what a guys perspective on the smut book would be a while back at her sea. And yesterday from all the comments below many seemed to have their hatred grow. I had the thing in a drawer, stopping because it was quite the bore. But said the hell with it and speed read through it yesterday for a bit. Well let's just say I'd rather watch The Fountain than ever again climb such a mountain. As that is what it felt like, I was on a damn hike. With all kinds of things in my path and that I was suffering someones wrath. As it took all my will to push on. And what I found, was it is one big ass long con!

Once more it is all about shock factor, which seems to be a stupid person attractor. No other way to put it. To read that thing and enjoy it you either have to have very low wit, be very very very hard up to get a thrill on with yourself, meaning you have no internet connection to look up the other stuff at your shelf or you are simply reading it because you want to relate to the other millions who had such an atrocious fate. Batman & Robin would be a pleasure to the eyes. Heck, I'd even take a movie about killer french fries.

Now it resides in the litter box, I hope that doesn't curl your socks. For take a good whiff and you will like it if:

1. You like mind numbing crap about some useless gal and chap.
2. You get a thrill from having one lose all free will.
3. You like to get smacked around. Pat quickly cut lose one of those at my ground.
4. You like Twilight. Then your future already isn't very bright and neither are you. Sad, but true.
5. You are the author of the thing, as listen to the greed bells ring.
6. Your IQ is one step behind a drunk, doped up, half bred, butt sniffing, monkey. Plus you smell rather funky.
7. You are in jail with no hope of bail.
8. You have ran out of toilet paper at your sea. Then it may even delight me.
9. You need something to start a fire. But only if things are dire.
10. You need to write a blog post about how bad it is. But trust me, you are better off throwing it on the ground, yanking down your pants and on it, taking a good, long, much needed whiz.

Well when something is so far down the gutter the only thing that can touch it is loo talk, I guess I have to pick up the chalk and use it at my sea, not that it really ever bothers me. So there is my review and look Blabber, I even did a great list for you. As well as a rant. I think I'd rather go eat an ant. Or even watch Spiderman 3, Shrek 3, X-Men 3, Die Hard 4 and Indiana Jones 4 all at the same time at my shore. Be more worth while any day, no matter their horrid display. So to the stupid dimwit Fifty Shades of Smut loving mass, you can all get up close and sniff, spank and even get strat on, hey if it's in your contract it is okay, by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.