Sunday, July 22, 2012

Find A Spot And Watch The Brain Rot!

So as Pat was off to the other side of the city, there was no parking spots around, what a pity. So drive round and round he did and at the parking he never flipped his lid, just at the crazy people that were around and he wished he could run them into the ground. A nice soft pile of dirt though, nothing too violent at his show.

First comes a dumb butt,
Who must have read that fifty shades smut.
As dressed to the hilt,
For her would be one mighty large kilt.

Or whatever you suppose,
But anyway she caused eye woes.
As she probably couldn't even fit in a car door,
And was prancing about like she was at the shore.

Or meandering about,
With two pieces of fabric that wouldn't make any guy shout.
Unless they were desperate indeed,
Still she could crush you so you better take heed.

Then came a stupid woman once more,
I guess it was one of those days at our shore.
Or just the ways of women I suppose,
Hmm that statement could cause the cat woes.

But she stepped right out in front of the car,
Like she was drunk from some bar.
Almost sent her flying,
She surely would have been crying.

The crosswalk was ten feet away,
Not a bright one I will say.
Then came a nut who found a spot,
And backed up and in a lot.

Took him ten minutes to parellel park.
The nearby dog got so bored he didn't even want to bark.
The traffic was backed up indeed,
As in lessons he is surely in need.

But he finally got in,
Grinning like he suffered a big win.
Wasn't a new driver either though,
As from the dents and scratches on his car that could show.

Surprised he didn't hit a thing,
That is probably why he let the smile ring.
Not another mark,
Came as he went to park.

Next came a nut,
Who was stuck in a cellphone texting rut.
She tried to ram me,
She missed thankfully.

Her eyes went wide,
As she stepped on the gas after an almost collide.
Then a nut in the other lane,
Had another brain pain.

And thought he could cross into mine,
Like everything was just fine.
As he went to turn,
I made him feel the burn.

Got called quite the name,
And he knew he was to blame.
As Pat flipped him off,
But no longer decided to scoff.

For lord and behold,
After he was told.
A parking spot came due,
And to the stupid drivers he bid adieu.

The cat is just glad he can walk and run really fast, for your human minds aren't very vast. It's a wonder how any of you last and aren't all in a cast. At least it's better than being in that grass. Now you can park it and comment to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

63 comments:

  1. Yes, when Pat calls 50 Shades of Grey "smut," I realise that I was right to have my reservations about it, awesome rhymes as usual, I've been through that kind of parking thing before and it's annoying, I swear us humans can turn almost feral when it comes to parking, you cats probably look down on us as animals for a change.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah best avoid the smut
      There at your hut
      And yeah parking and humans don't go hand and hand
      The cats have more grace when digging in the litterbox sand

      Delete
  2. I never did learn how to parallel park. You could have written those lines about me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well at least it wasn't you
      Then the cat might have offended on cue hahaha

      Delete
    2. I learned but it was no fun

      I will never do it again not even in the sun

      Delete
    3. Yeah it really sucks
      And getting out can cost a few bucks

      Delete
    4. I've personally no problems parking, people usually leave the streets and move their cars when me appears in the block.....

      Delete
    5. Well that is good too
      As they are scared of you

      Delete
  3. A cell phone texting nut who??? Well, that's not very nice!!!!! hahahahahaha

    How is your reading of the book coming along?? ;) LOL

    Parking can be the worst sometimes!! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO I knew that one would get to you
      But doesn't make it any less true
      As she was a nut
      With her head up her umm butt haha
      Still where I was before
      Here at my shore
      And yeah hate it as well
      Really can be hell

      Delete
    2. mmmhmmm!!

      Well, they've been playing commericals here about people who have died because they read a text that said "yea". Sigh... I'll be trying to put the damn phone down!!

      Delete
    3. Wow that is pretty bad
      And in more ways than one sad
      You should put the phone down
      As you drive across town

      Delete
  4. haha its a crazy world out there...people with weird body hair, and clothes that make you stare, as your eyes melt, roll the windows up so you dont have to smelt, and nice on the finger, make sure you let it linger so they see it---but you made it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I make sure they see it
      As to at least give some justification to my fit haha
      And the smell
      Can sometimes not be swell
      So I stick on the AC
      And it smells better quickly

      Delete
  5. Yikes, this shows the dangers of driving.
    It's more like the art of surviving
    there are crazies out there
    we have to take care and beware!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, the other nuts surely get you into trouble
      Could leave you in rubble
      Even if you are the best driver around
      Those nuts can put you in the ground

      Delete
  6. And parallel parking is not for the faint of heart
    I would rather walk more than attempt that art!
    People may say that's dumb, but I think it smart..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I only do it when need be
      Otherwise I try to flee
      And get another spot
      I don't mind having to walk a lot

      Delete
  7. I like parking when its not crowded and when it is, it's my hubby who does the job of looking for a parking slot, while I go shopping. And parallel parking is not my cup of tea either,nor parking from the rear.

    Have a good day Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha so just parking from the front is all
      Well not so bad when you can find a stall
      Otherwise make the hubby do it
      Well you shop and make the bank account take a hit haha

      Delete
  8. Oh, parking woes.
    Makes me want to chop off some toes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just not mine
      That wouldn't be divine

      Delete
  9. if you run or fly - you don't need to drive,
    try to fly while you drive - make you cry,
    horn when park for everyone see and mark,
    I horn a lot while doing parallel park

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm flying would be fun
      Would give that a run
      If I were able
      Sadly that is just a fable
      Horn works too
      And can be fun to make come due

      Delete
  10. the kitty in me is already frowning , Pat !!! grrrr

    once there were these two guys in a carpark trying to reverse park and let me tell ya, they were hopeless, and i was pissed off because i was holding up traffic due to them.
    then as i waited, i began to calm down and realised that they were really all that bad and they were panicking too. i think they knew they were horrible.
    so i relaxed and watched them and when they had finally made it, i put down my window and gave em a thumbs up and smiled.
    they thanked me and apologised profusely all at the same time !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha yeah all have to learn
      So they may make ones temper burn
      But I guess we have to think
      And not let them bring us to the brink
      Even if they suck
      And all you want to say is umm truck

      Delete
  11. you mean they let you drive a car in the first place, cat? Is it a catmobile? Does it miaow instead of honking?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yeah it can meow on cue
      And throw pringle cans of poo

      Delete
    2. and the local dogs run after it like crazy when you drive it out of your garage....

      Delete
    3. A Cat behind
      the wheel
      oh that is
      sure to kill
      a passerby
      of two
      or three
      or four
      if not more.

      Delete
    4. yep, he's a threat to national security, darling!

      Delete
    5. And that's a threat the Alliance has vowed to exterminate!!

      Delete
    6. Such a vow keeps on showing
      But the cat's legend just keeps growing

      Delete
  12. I can parallel park just fine
    but I hate it when others hang over their space into mine
    making it impossible to get out
    and yeah, I'll give them a shout!

    Do you honk you horn at the creeps?
    I do! And say, don't you dare crash into my Jeep!
    haha. Don't usually give them the finger
    although it has popped up on rare occasions, I figure.
    When the horn wasn't enough
    and I was really in a huff.
    lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I barely ever honk the horn
      But the middle finger has been born
      A time or ten
      When I get ticked off by some stupid driving women or men
      And yeah when they take up your room
      I always wish upon them doom

      Delete
    2. Sometimes they are too dense to look
      but a horn takes care of that, the shmooks.
      lol. If I wait til they see my finger
      we'd both have crumpled bumpers.

      did that rhyme?
      no?
      ha.

      Delete
    3. LOL not quite
      Blame it on the coming of night
      And the need for bed to come
      At the beating of the sheep counting drum
      And yeah I suppose
      They may not see the finger so the horn should be used to curl their toes

      Delete
    4. sheep? Who counts those?
      I count cats cuz I have plenty of those.
      lol...

      Delete
    5. haha those work too
      As you can smell them from their litterbox on cue

      Delete
  13. After having driven both double-decker and single deck buses and parking them back at the depot, parking a car (to me) was a doddle. I see how some people park and sometimes cringe, glad they aren't going to park near me. Sometimes I wonder how on earth some people get their driving licences. LOL Sounds like you had quite the time of it Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow parking the big buses would make parking your car a breeze
      Could even do it while scratching fleas haha
      Yeah it was quite the pain
      And I have no idea how some of these idiots can even get into one single lane

      Delete
  14. I used to enjoy driving, but not anymore. Too many nutjobs out there on the roads and they're becoming more and more aggressive. I've often wondered if you Canadians have as many cars as they do in the State or if you're like us where loads of us don't even know how to drive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. when I was little all people in my country rode bicycles like they do in China, and now most people have cars...

      Delete
    2. I know sometimes it's necessary to have a car, but my family still walks rather than drives whenever possible. The Spawn still has a bicycle that she uses for most everything. My in-laws can't conceive of the concept of us only having a single vehicle. Most families here have a separate car for each person in the family. So if you have 4 children and two adults, that's 6 cars. If the Cat ever shows up I'd like to know if Canadian families do the same thing.

      Delete
    3. There are plenty on the roads near and far
      Of course that depends where you are
      But they are just as stupid up here
      Never fear
      And bicycles aren't used anywhere that I can recall
      Not from winter to fall
      There are some with one car though
      And few have 6 on the go

      Delete
  15. Oy, the aggravations. I'm glad to finally live in a small town - sans traffic or mega parking frustrations, except on rare occasion.

    PS I echo YW's sentiment re 50 shades. I've been wondering what all the hoopla is about. If you call it "smut," I won't bother to wonder, much less purchase it.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh that is the perk of a small town
      Can get from point A to B and park without a frown
      And yep a load of smut indeed
      All shock factor to try and sell, i.e. greed

      Delete
  16. I want to add a comment about 50 Shades, rubbish. Pure rubbish and it's popularity is an indication of just how low society has sunk. As if Twilight wasn't indication enough.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well Twilight is a huge hunk of crap
      That should take a dirt nap
      And stupid how people have sunk so low
      Pathetic the crap that does flow

      Delete
  17. I suffer passenger rage,
    even at my age!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes I'll get that too
      Between me and you

      Delete
  18. Im so happy after teading this I only travel in buses and suway and.....walk alot:)
    Sometimes is hard especially when you buy some things but is ok to me:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is the main reason I like a car
      Because you don't have to lift the heavy crap far
      Plus you can go on your own schedule too
      And drive home fast if you have to go to the loo hahaha

      Delete
    2. Yes I know how important is for you yhe loo haha

      Delete
    3. haha yes very important at my sea
      As I may really have to pee

      Delete
  19. Sorry you had trouble with the primitives out there. They can be annoying! I'm with you on the Fifty Shades book - what a bunch of garbage! In fact that's exactly where that book ended up. Maybe those primitives should go there, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahaha garbage is the place for it
      Every single bit
      And yeah primitives they are
      Near and far

      Delete
  20. Oh, what a fun parking story. lol

    I'm thankful we don't have parallel parking down here. I'd never park again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha it is not allowed down there
      Hmm maybe many should move to your lair

      Delete
  21. gotta suppress those murderous impulses man

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes must suppress
      Although it is hard I will confess

      Delete
  22. oh the fun of a parking lot. I had similar troubles the other day in a Walmart near my bay. I pulled my car into the spot, and as I was making my way out the car, some boat of a car was behind me there, I just saw that car moments earlier parked over where they were selling hotdogs at this vendor outside the store, I remember because I couldn't move around the stupid car as the passenger was buying some hot dogs. Anyhow, I got the spot and this woman was screaming, no, no you can't park there. so why I even acknowledged the loon I do not know but I did simply by say "huh" and she went on, screaming at me saying It's illegal to use someone else handicapped tag, which I said thanks, but I'm actually handicapped, to which she said, "BS" I was stunned a bit, but then she continued, "Don't lie to me, I wasn't born yesterday, you don't look handicapped," I said "nope I know you weren't born yesterday, but I assure you I'm handicapped, my herniated discs can not be seen, but I invite you to watch me walk for awhile and then you'll see and won't again doubt me" of course without the rhyming though. Her reply was I'm calling the cops. Ok, go ahead. They'll send you to jail for this. Ok, give em' a ring, I'll be back in a a while, and she said I'll be here with them, I want to watch you get taken away. Ok. But I tell you It's legit, so you'll look like a twit, so I do hope you make the call, as I can use a little laugh, will last me a while. Then she got frazzled some more, and a cop happened to drive by, really was a walmart security but anyhow…She started yelling at him, he stopped and she bitched it up real good. He asked me for my tag, to which I showed and I guess he made a call and quickly returned saying have a good day. But wait a bit I did, as she was still exploding her lid. The guy told her it was correct, when I heard her say that actually made this guy crack up loud, when she said, he can't be handicapped, you're a fool, for everybody knows that people with disabilities don't listen to that hard rock stuff. I felt like telling her it was metal, but I just laughed my way into the store.

    So yeah, the loons are all about in the parking lot route.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO wow she is surely a nut job in every way
      But is a fun story to say
      As you showed what a loon she is
      People should just mind their own biz
      But oh no
      Have to stick their nose in everyone elses on the go

      Delete