So as Pat was off to the other side of the city, there was no parking spots around, what a pity. So drive round and round he did and at the parking he never flipped his lid, just at the crazy people that were around and he wished he could run them into the ground. A nice soft pile of dirt though, nothing too violent at his show.
First comes a dumb butt,
Who must have read that fifty shades smut.
As dressed to the hilt,
For her would be one mighty large kilt.
Or whatever you suppose,
But anyway she caused eye woes.
As she probably couldn't even fit in a car door,
And was prancing about like she was at the shore.
Or meandering about,
With two pieces of fabric that wouldn't make any guy shout.
Unless they were desperate indeed,
Still she could crush you so you better take heed.
Then came a stupid woman once more,
I guess it was one of those days at our shore.
Or just the ways of women I suppose,
Hmm that statement could cause the cat woes.
But she stepped right out in front of the car,
Like she was drunk from some bar.
Almost sent her flying,
She surely would have been crying.
The crosswalk was ten feet away,
Not a bright one I will say.
Then came a nut who found a spot,
And backed up and in a lot.
Took him ten minutes to parellel park.
The nearby dog got so bored he didn't even want to bark.
The traffic was backed up indeed,
As in lessons he is surely in need.
But he finally got in,
Grinning like he suffered a big win.
Wasn't a new driver either though,
As from the dents and scratches on his car that could show.
Surprised he didn't hit a thing,
That is probably why he let the smile ring.
Not another mark,
Came as he went to park.
Next came a nut,
Who was stuck in a cellphone texting rut.
She tried to ram me,
She missed thankfully.
Her eyes went wide,
As she stepped on the gas after an almost collide.
Then a nut in the other lane,
Had another brain pain.
And thought he could cross into mine,
Like everything was just fine.
As he went to turn,
I made him feel the burn.
Got called quite the name,
And he knew he was to blame.
As Pat flipped him off,
But no longer decided to scoff.
For lord and behold,
After he was told.
A parking spot came due,
And to the stupid drivers he bid adieu.
The cat is just glad he can walk and run really fast, for your human minds aren't very vast. It's a wonder how any of you last and aren't all in a cast. At least it's better than being in that grass. Now you can park it and comment to my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
Yes, when Pat calls 50 Shades of Grey "smut," I realise that I was right to have my reservations about it, awesome rhymes as usual, I've been through that kind of parking thing before and it's annoying, I swear us humans can turn almost feral when it comes to parking, you cats probably look down on us as animals for a change.
ReplyDeleteYeah best avoid the smut
DeleteThere at your hut
And yeah parking and humans don't go hand and hand
The cats have more grace when digging in the litterbox sand
I never did learn how to parallel park. You could have written those lines about me.
ReplyDeletehaha well at least it wasn't you
DeleteThen the cat might have offended on cue hahaha
I learned but it was no fun
DeleteI will never do it again not even in the sun
Yeah it really sucks
DeleteAnd getting out can cost a few bucks
I've personally no problems parking, people usually leave the streets and move their cars when me appears in the block.....
DeleteWell that is good too
DeleteAs they are scared of you
A cell phone texting nut who??? Well, that's not very nice!!!!! hahahahahaha
ReplyDeleteHow is your reading of the book coming along?? ;) LOL
Parking can be the worst sometimes!! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!
LMAO I knew that one would get to you
DeleteBut doesn't make it any less true
As she was a nut
With her head up her umm butt haha
Still where I was before
Here at my shore
And yeah hate it as well
Really can be hell
mmmhmmm!!
DeleteWell, they've been playing commericals here about people who have died because they read a text that said "yea". Sigh... I'll be trying to put the damn phone down!!
Wow that is pretty bad
DeleteAnd in more ways than one sad
You should put the phone down
As you drive across town
haha its a crazy world out there...people with weird body hair, and clothes that make you stare, as your eyes melt, roll the windows up so you dont have to smelt, and nice on the finger, make sure you let it linger so they see it---but you made it
ReplyDeleteYeah I make sure they see it
DeleteAs to at least give some justification to my fit haha
And the smell
Can sometimes not be swell
So I stick on the AC
And it smells better quickly
Yikes, this shows the dangers of driving.
ReplyDeleteIt's more like the art of surviving
there are crazies out there
we have to take care and beware!
Yep, the other nuts surely get you into trouble
DeleteCould leave you in rubble
Even if you are the best driver around
Those nuts can put you in the ground
And parallel parking is not for the faint of heart
ReplyDeleteI would rather walk more than attempt that art!
People may say that's dumb, but I think it smart..
I only do it when need be
DeleteOtherwise I try to flee
And get another spot
I don't mind having to walk a lot
I like parking when its not crowded and when it is, it's my hubby who does the job of looking for a parking slot, while I go shopping. And parallel parking is not my cup of tea either,nor parking from the rear.
ReplyDeleteHave a good day Pat ~
haha so just parking from the front is all
DeleteWell not so bad when you can find a stall
Otherwise make the hubby do it
Well you shop and make the bank account take a hit haha
Oh, parking woes.
ReplyDeleteMakes me want to chop off some toes!
Just not mine
DeleteThat wouldn't be divine
if you run or fly - you don't need to drive,
ReplyDeletetry to fly while you drive - make you cry,
horn when park for everyone see and mark,
I horn a lot while doing parallel park
Hmm flying would be fun
DeleteWould give that a run
If I were able
Sadly that is just a fable
Horn works too
And can be fun to make come due
the kitty in me is already frowning , Pat !!! grrrr
ReplyDeleteonce there were these two guys in a carpark trying to reverse park and let me tell ya, they were hopeless, and i was pissed off because i was holding up traffic due to them.
then as i waited, i began to calm down and realised that they were really all that bad and they were panicking too. i think they knew they were horrible.
so i relaxed and watched them and when they had finally made it, i put down my window and gave em a thumbs up and smiled.
they thanked me and apologised profusely all at the same time !
hahaha yeah all have to learn
DeleteSo they may make ones temper burn
But I guess we have to think
And not let them bring us to the brink
Even if they suck
And all you want to say is umm truck
you mean they let you drive a car in the first place, cat? Is it a catmobile? Does it miaow instead of honking?
ReplyDeleteOh yeah it can meow on cue
DeleteAnd throw pringle cans of poo
and the local dogs run after it like crazy when you drive it out of your garage....
DeleteA Cat behind
Deletethe wheel
oh that is
sure to kill
a passerby
of two
or three
or four
if not more.
yep, he's a threat to national security, darling!
DeleteAnd that's a threat the Alliance has vowed to exterminate!!
DeleteSuch a vow keeps on showing
DeleteBut the cat's legend just keeps growing
I can parallel park just fine
ReplyDeletebut I hate it when others hang over their space into mine
making it impossible to get out
and yeah, I'll give them a shout!
Do you honk you horn at the creeps?
I do! And say, don't you dare crash into my Jeep!
haha. Don't usually give them the finger
although it has popped up on rare occasions, I figure.
When the horn wasn't enough
and I was really in a huff.
lol.
LOL I barely ever honk the horn
DeleteBut the middle finger has been born
A time or ten
When I get ticked off by some stupid driving women or men
And yeah when they take up your room
I always wish upon them doom
Sometimes they are too dense to look
Deletebut a horn takes care of that, the shmooks.
lol. If I wait til they see my finger
we'd both have crumpled bumpers.
did that rhyme?
no?
ha.
LOL not quite
DeleteBlame it on the coming of night
And the need for bed to come
At the beating of the sheep counting drum
And yeah I suppose
They may not see the finger so the horn should be used to curl their toes
sheep? Who counts those?
DeleteI count cats cuz I have plenty of those.
lol...
haha those work too
DeleteAs you can smell them from their litterbox on cue
After having driven both double-decker and single deck buses and parking them back at the depot, parking a car (to me) was a doddle. I see how some people park and sometimes cringe, glad they aren't going to park near me. Sometimes I wonder how on earth some people get their driving licences. LOL Sounds like you had quite the time of it Pat.
ReplyDeleteWow parking the big buses would make parking your car a breeze
DeleteCould even do it while scratching fleas haha
Yeah it was quite the pain
And I have no idea how some of these idiots can even get into one single lane
I used to enjoy driving, but not anymore. Too many nutjobs out there on the roads and they're becoming more and more aggressive. I've often wondered if you Canadians have as many cars as they do in the State or if you're like us where loads of us don't even know how to drive.
ReplyDeletewhen I was little all people in my country rode bicycles like they do in China, and now most people have cars...
DeleteI know sometimes it's necessary to have a car, but my family still walks rather than drives whenever possible. The Spawn still has a bicycle that she uses for most everything. My in-laws can't conceive of the concept of us only having a single vehicle. Most families here have a separate car for each person in the family. So if you have 4 children and two adults, that's 6 cars. If the Cat ever shows up I'd like to know if Canadian families do the same thing.
DeleteThere are plenty on the roads near and far
DeleteOf course that depends where you are
But they are just as stupid up here
Never fear
And bicycles aren't used anywhere that I can recall
Not from winter to fall
There are some with one car though
And few have 6 on the go
Oy, the aggravations. I'm glad to finally live in a small town - sans traffic or mega parking frustrations, except on rare occasion.
ReplyDeletePS I echo YW's sentiment re 50 shades. I've been wondering what all the hoopla is about. If you call it "smut," I won't bother to wonder, much less purchase it.
xoRobyn
Oh that is the perk of a small town
DeleteCan get from point A to B and park without a frown
And yep a load of smut indeed
All shock factor to try and sell, i.e. greed
I want to add a comment about 50 Shades, rubbish. Pure rubbish and it's popularity is an indication of just how low society has sunk. As if Twilight wasn't indication enough.
ReplyDeleteWell Twilight is a huge hunk of crap
DeleteThat should take a dirt nap
And stupid how people have sunk so low
Pathetic the crap that does flow
I suffer passenger rage,
ReplyDeleteeven at my age!
Sometimes I'll get that too
DeleteBetween me and you
Im so happy after teading this I only travel in buses and suway and.....walk alot:)
ReplyDeleteSometimes is hard especially when you buy some things but is ok to me:)
Yeah that is the main reason I like a car
DeleteBecause you don't have to lift the heavy crap far
Plus you can go on your own schedule too
And drive home fast if you have to go to the loo hahaha
Yes I know how important is for you yhe loo haha
Deletehaha yes very important at my sea
DeleteAs I may really have to pee
Sorry you had trouble with the primitives out there. They can be annoying! I'm with you on the Fifty Shades book - what a bunch of garbage! In fact that's exactly where that book ended up. Maybe those primitives should go there, too.
ReplyDeletehahahaha garbage is the place for it
DeleteEvery single bit
And yeah primitives they are
Near and far
Oh, what a fun parking story. lol
ReplyDeleteI'm thankful we don't have parallel parking down here. I'd never park again.
hahaha it is not allowed down there
DeleteHmm maybe many should move to your lair
gotta suppress those murderous impulses man
ReplyDeleteYes must suppress
DeleteAlthough it is hard I will confess
oh the fun of a parking lot. I had similar troubles the other day in a Walmart near my bay. I pulled my car into the spot, and as I was making my way out the car, some boat of a car was behind me there, I just saw that car moments earlier parked over where they were selling hotdogs at this vendor outside the store, I remember because I couldn't move around the stupid car as the passenger was buying some hot dogs. Anyhow, I got the spot and this woman was screaming, no, no you can't park there. so why I even acknowledged the loon I do not know but I did simply by say "huh" and she went on, screaming at me saying It's illegal to use someone else handicapped tag, which I said thanks, but I'm actually handicapped, to which she said, "BS" I was stunned a bit, but then she continued, "Don't lie to me, I wasn't born yesterday, you don't look handicapped," I said "nope I know you weren't born yesterday, but I assure you I'm handicapped, my herniated discs can not be seen, but I invite you to watch me walk for awhile and then you'll see and won't again doubt me" of course without the rhyming though. Her reply was I'm calling the cops. Ok, go ahead. They'll send you to jail for this. Ok, give em' a ring, I'll be back in a a while, and she said I'll be here with them, I want to watch you get taken away. Ok. But I tell you It's legit, so you'll look like a twit, so I do hope you make the call, as I can use a little laugh, will last me a while. Then she got frazzled some more, and a cop happened to drive by, really was a walmart security but anyhow…She started yelling at him, he stopped and she bitched it up real good. He asked me for my tag, to which I showed and I guess he made a call and quickly returned saying have a good day. But wait a bit I did, as she was still exploding her lid. The guy told her it was correct, when I heard her say that actually made this guy crack up loud, when she said, he can't be handicapped, you're a fool, for everybody knows that people with disabilities don't listen to that hard rock stuff. I felt like telling her it was metal, but I just laughed my way into the store.
ReplyDeleteSo yeah, the loons are all about in the parking lot route.
LMAO wow she is surely a nut job in every way
DeleteBut is a fun story to say
As you showed what a loon she is
People should just mind their own biz
But oh no
Have to stick their nose in everyone elses on the go