Saturday, July 21, 2012

In Order To Make Them Go Away Here Is What You Say!

The cat thought he would have some fun and since they are done in rhyme when spun, why not give some spells a go and they were such fun to do at my show. So to stop a person who is one of these repeat these lines and you will do more than wish fleas on their knees. Or to turn something good and grand some of these can also lend a hand.

1. Hacker Tracker

Hack a little hack a lot,
Hit the button and you will rot.
Off goes your fingers, off goes your toes.
And your eyeballs will be eaten by crows.

2. Groovie Movie

Rid the plastic, rid the flash.
Make it less about the cash.
Forget the ego, forget the nut.
Don't hire those who talk out their butt.

3. Worker Lurker

A mole on your eye,
Joined by the buzzing of a fly.
With such a noisy pitch,
You begin to twitch and itch.

4. Flapper Trapper

From within a bad wiener
The lips grow numb from cleaner.
Out drops the drool,
Now you're nothing but a fool.

5. Lovey Dovey

Wish as you sit,
In some dank pit.
No hope for you,
Sorry but it's true.

6. Claim Fame

A star on the sidewalk,
May be out of stock.
But with these words,
You'll be mauled by herds.

7. Clean Scene

With a little spray,
Lose the germ display.
To extend such reach,
Add a little bleach

8. Sleep Deep

To be out like a light,
You must lose your sight.
Now don't stammer,
As down comes the hammer.

9. Runny Money

A bag full of dough,
A cart to collect the over flow.
All in your path,
If one can do the math.

10. Rhyme Time

With a pound of sand,
From any old land.
You too will be in your prime,
Even if you are plugged up for a time.

Now you know what to do if one of these is bothering you. Except for number five of course. But with it you may find a horse. That could be great too right? Imagining sleeping with that at night. Before the gutter erupts onto the grass I will leave you spell binded over my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

67 comments:

  1. Many of a kind
    Bothering sometimes
    Don't lose your head
    Do not dread
    Correct the thread
    They just bled
    You're tops
    Without a doubt!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like being tops
      Better than crops
      And dread
      Can go to ones head
      So I will try to avoid
      And be less paranoid

      Delete
  2. I sleep like a light switch...and boy do I dream of the runny money ~

    And why not number 5 ~

    Happy Saturday Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well number five won't come true
      If one hides from view
      And yeah runny money
      Would make things quite sunny

      Delete
    2. Congrats on the new book # 4 ~ I see it at the top bar ~

      Cheers ~

      Delete
    3. Yeah that one stars the cat
      He really like that

      Delete
  3. Cheers to the spray,
    Boo to the germs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah nasty germs
      Those are for worms

      Delete
  4. I don't know who half of those people/things are, cat! Who is Flapper Trapper and Worker Lurker?
    The first curse is very spicy, though, I must admit it..... But you would cringe if you'd ever hear the curses running around the Shenanigans Pub, cat! Especially when her Cursing Highness Annzie is holding court there :) I've learned to wear tampons in my elven ears in such occasions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. According to the Hubby I am the Shakespeare of cursing. It's quite poetic when I really get going in real life.

      Delete
    2. you should write a Shakespearean play with rhyming curses, darling :P

      Delete
    3. If I do, I shall dedicate it to the Cat.

      Delete
    4. and please put me in it as Lord Dezmondo who runs off with the king's treasure and the cat would play the court jester off course...

      Delete
    5. A dedication to the cat
      Would surely work at my mat
      Unless it was crap
      Then that you should not flap
      Then again with pringle cans of poo
      It could rightfully come due

      Delete
  5. You got me thinking on this one, cat.
    To early to for such at this mat
    I'm surprised cleaning wasn't number one
    I know Pat finds it so much fun
    I'm off to enjoy my day
    I'll be gazing across an ocean or bay

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Enjoy your day General Elsie.

      Cat, don't say one word about her looking at the ocean with a cyclops eye!! She has two eyes and lovely they are.

      Delete
    2. Elsie's one eye is like Saruman's allseeing eye from LORD OF THE RINGS: the Alliance uses it to see all the ebil deeds around the empire...

      Delete
    3. Pfft you can look at the bay
      Or fod on a tray
      Either way
      The cat will win each and every day
      Making you think
      Must also bring you to the brink

      The cat doesn't have to say a word
      As that would be absurd
      For you already beat me to it
      See you really know she is a one eyed eejit hahahaha

      Pfft and you still lose
      Might as well suck back more booze

      Delete
  6. the hammer leaves one with such a headache though once you wake up again at your show....smiles...runny money...lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it would hurt
      Blood might spurt
      But if it brings on runny money
      Then things could be sunny

      Delete
  7. Now you've become a wizard with spells
    dooming every irritation to hell.
    lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. put it in print, you should.
      a handy dandy reference book.

      Delete
    2. haha then I'd get the crazies coming out of the wood work
      Thinking I have a spell for their wanted perk

      Delete
  8. cat hasn't been here all day long, methinks the Alliance has played his trick on him and put a disappearing curse on him :) He is now an elephant suffering from terrible cold placed in a zoo in Hanover!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It just came over the AP wire that he blew his nose and the force was so great that it blew him backwards where he is now wedged between the bars of his enclosure. Currently he is crying and that's only making him snot up more. It's a conundrum.

      Delete
    2. yep, his bum is wedged there and that rhino is looking him very friendly from behind ;)))))

      Delete
    3. A new story has just come over the AP wire. It appears as if a Rhino in Hanover, broke out of it's enclosure and is now shagging the elephant. News of their impending nuptials is expected in the near future.

      Delete
    4. oh, my, wonder what their babies will have on their foreheads? Trunks or horns?

      Delete
    5. And the news is all wrong as usual with you two
      But a nice book could come due
      Although too grpahic it may be
      With the rhino and elephant humpty humping for a kiddie

      Delete
  9. A bag of dough?
    To the bank I go!
    That's all I know......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Be the best place to be
      Should it rain down money

      Delete
  10. now don't attack all those little gems with spray..ya know..they have feelings as well..smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pfft screw that
      I'll spray them twice at my mat haha

      Delete
  11. I don't know what a worker lurker or a flapper trapper is either. Do you have lurker's where you work Cat. If they are lurking, it's probably because they can't figure out how something with only two active brain cells can manage to stand up and talk at the same time.

    You are quite glum
    when it comes
    to love
    but it will
    find you
    as it
    found me,
    unexpectedly.

    I wasn't looking when I found the Hubby and fell in love on the spot. It happens Cat, it happens.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. methinks he might be the very lurker and flapper trapper, Annzie, whatever it is, it sounds ebil enough to be him.

      Delete
    2. Isn't it lovely of us to keep the Cat's page going for him while he spends quality time alone with his paw in the bathroom. God knows he needs the release!!

      Delete
    3. yep, and he'd never do such a nice thing for us, Annzie, and I don't mean pawing us in the bathroom :) but keeping the page alive while we ain't there :(

      Delete
    4. Pfft the love is glum
      For the cat has better luck licking him bum
      And nice of you to rant away
      Here at my bay
      But either way
      Until this arm crap is gone I'll be less on display
      So bathroom or not
      Not going to let it rot

      Delete
    5. Where have you been sticking that arm into, cat? And do we want to know?

      Delete
    6. I wish I knew
      But don't have a clue

      Delete
  12. I want to go watch a groovie movie...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I havent seen one since austin powers

      That guy needs more showers

      Delete
    2. Yeah that is does
      And be nice to watch a movie worthy of the buzz

      Delete
  13. I try to emphasize that smarts in math and science to the kids are essential to success. Now thanks to you Pat, I have a rhyme I can drop on them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I could help
      Ever need another just give a yelp

      Delete
  14. No.3 is a doozie,
    I know just the floozie!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let's hope it works well
      And you can cause the floozie a little hell

      Delete
  15. Sorry deaI have terrible headache
    so im not ok to think
    maybe tomorrow have afling haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh dear it is all that ground on your head
      It must be causing your head dread

      Delete
  16. My head hurts just thinking about number 8. That's cruel!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But it would work
      And if it is an enemy give you a smirk

      Delete
  17. Wow, I need to write these down. People will think I'm hexing them. It will be awesome!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just don't get burned at the stake
      A good day that would not make

      Delete
  18. Now that cat is venturing out into the world of munitions, very great tools you have here, should come in handy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah if only he could get paid as well
      That would just be swell

      Delete
  19. Ohh, a list?? I loovveee that. Ok, so I saved a few of these spells. I mean, they would totally come in handy ;) hahahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah I made a list
      Knew you wouldn't shake your fist
      Let me know if they work
      And creepers no longer lurk

      Delete
  20. I love all of these mini poems Pat, I don't think I'd ever touch that button that made me melt no way. It's hard to pick out which one I love most but the last is awesome and probably my favourite.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well it is about bush number three
      So hard not to be liked by all who see

      Delete
  21. I'll be sure not to hack you!
    Honest and true!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is good
      Or payback I'd get and turn you to wood

      Delete