So another nut, showed up the other day at my hut. Unlike that Beyonder crazy who made his eyes go hazy and asked question after question to me. This nut decided he would just shout facts at bush number three. That is right. I opened the door and he blurted out facts on sight. And just for you I decided to repeat them here at my zoo.
The dead sea is dying.
Redundent much? But thanks for trying.
A humpback whale creates the loudest sound of any living creature.
Windbag, you do know this isn't a double feature.
A dog's sense of smell is 1000 better than you or I.
Yet the mutt still has to snick its nose up the butt of some guy.
Mosquitos are attracted most to the color blue.
And how does one know this is true?
Jupiter is larger than a 1000 Earths.
Probably where you were given birth.
The moon moves away from us at 34cm a year.
I can still moon with my rear, never fear.
Every year 1.5 billion is spent on pet food.
The cat wants the best nothing that is crude.
Lightning bolts can travel 60 miles.
Learn that from the X-Files?
Every year in the US 625 people are struck by lightning.
Still on this topic? That is frightening.
More germs are transferred from shaking hands than kissing.
And you wondered why your hand shake went missing.
The average human blinks 25 times per minute.
That must have been tough to compute.
Thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
I hope they don't run out of cement for the street.
The average person will shed 40 pounds of skin in their lifetime.
Ewww that is just not sublime.
A sneeze can exceed the speed of 100mph.
Wow! That is some type of power.
Some large asteriods even have their own moon.
I bet you saw that in a cartoon.
A human heart beats 100,000 times per day.
Can you count that high anyway?
The average person laughs 15 times a day.
Hmmm I think I can blow that away.
It takes 72 muscles to produce human speech.
Is that why some speak as well as a leech?
A cockroach can survive a week without its head.
And then I hope the damn thing drops dead.
There are 701 types of pure bred dogs.
Oh just think of the blogs.
Sharks are the only animals that never get sick.
That is a nifty trick.
Male seahorses produce offspring.
Ohhh I am glad cats can't do such a thing.
Only about 10 percent of all known forms of animal life still exist today.
And you are getting too talky at my bay.
It takes a lobster seven years to grow to be one pound.
And it's time you were no longer found.
So off, we'll call him Full Fact, went after he had his little vent. Some things I just did not need to know. But with germs, see! I told you so. There are some Face it Facts for your brain that Full Fact brought down like rain. I hope they weren't too scary for lad or lass and that is all from my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
Are that many people really struck by lightening a year? Eep!!! That's so scary!!!! Clearly I need to be more careful when it comes to that. The average person only laughs about 15 times a day??? Noo, it has to be way more than that!! Come on people, you know you're giggling more than that!! lol
ReplyDeleteTradition is, if you comment first, you should declare, else get ready for assault.
Deleteshe's under the protection of the Alliance, no assaults can harm her! Especially not the feline ones!
DeleteWow Blabber was first
DeleteWith her burst
And she didn't even declare
That is rare
Putting Brian and Hank to shame
With their gloating game hahaha
Yep supposedly that many people are
And if you need to laugh just visit the crackless at my bar
Pfft the allaince can't protect anyone
When Irish Air is out in the sun
And nowhere to be scene
Cleaning up the mess I left in her garden and other stuff she has to clean
we shall superglue some diapers on your bum, cat, so that you would stop fertilizing other people's gardens.....
DeleteEventually the diaper would explode
DeleteAnd then on her window there would be a whole load
just don't eat too much corn salad, cat!
DeleteLOL be bullets that come out
DeleteThat would make one shout
Thanks for the protection, Dez!! I'm glad that I chose the right side. It looks like Cap has chosen the side of the kitty that wishes fleas upon knees and hates mimes. Don't people and/or cats have any morals?!
DeleteNope cat's have no morals at all
DeleteAs all is game on my wall
You will die a disgrace
When the cat takes the allaince down and throws fleas on your face hahaha
that was just morbid, cat! I will set Jax in her pink tank on you right away!
DeleteI am telling cat that I would throw bucket of water if he moons, and you believe that I took his side?
DeleteJoining Cat would be against Anne, which I could never even imagine to do. I have no grammar morality but basic life morals, I do have Jax.
Pfft all can be against the cat
DeleteAnd morbid or not I will squash all flat
Hey, you said you don't need me and you are an one cat army and you had blabber and blue guy, the one cribbing about shoes and other one on other side, maybe time to wave white flag and surrender?
DeleteNo cat lovers to be found, Pat. No wonder the average person smiles 15 times a day. Tops.
Deletewhat Meandmy said in the last comment is officially supported by the allies administration!
DeletePfft the white flag will turn brown
DeleteAnd bring you all a frown
That is all you will get from me
And ever see
I know
No wonder smiles don't grow
Pfft support
You say that hiding behind your fort
Moon your rear, if you know , ocean tides are due to moon, if I throw bucket of water , your moon to blame. Love the facts and your take on facts
ReplyDeleteIt will be a full moon either way
DeleteAnd make for quite the display
My eyes, eyes, eyes, my brain brain brain, both seem to have shutdown listening to this Cat.
DeleteBTB, forget cockroach, Mike the headless chicken survived for 18 months without head. How about that?
That is very impressive I will say
DeleteThere must not have been a cat at his bay
Or he would have been dinner
Instead of a record winner
I don't think the blinking fact is true
ReplyDeleteI'd say 15 times a minute would do.
I know dogs love to smell things gross
I watch where each of their nose's goes.
The lightning fact is quite astounding
in storms it has my heart a pounding.
Have a good day in your bay!
Well I guess we'll have to count
DeleteTo see the try amount
And then compare to one and all
On someones wall haha
Haha... well, that's one... haha.... that's two. 13 more to go. :) (That's a smile so it doesn't count.)
Deletehaha well you can smile when you are done
DeleteThen you beat the 15 run
Hear something good for laughs
ReplyDeleteAnd to do it isn't that tough
Twitching of the face muscles
Not really that much of a puzzle
For you use more muscles to frown
Than muscles to laugh its been found
Hank
Yep that you do
DeleteAnd so I try to have a loose screw
And just let the frowns go
And never show
sharks never get sick, that is pretty cool
ReplyDeletemaybe we should live in a pool, ass-teroids
and moons got me thinking of ...well, better
watch it lightning might hit, sad on all the animals
fun with all the fact-ibles...err...sorry bad end butt
the best i got
Yeah that would be nice
DeleteNo germs or lice
And fit in ass that time
You were due with your chime
And got the end butt too
That is so you haha
interesting info on the cockroaches, we might recruit them and make an Alliance squad with them.... very resilient on cat attacks methinks....
ReplyDeleteHmm not if the cat eats them whole
DeleteThen once more spoils your goal
that would be our goal, for their armor would make them impossible to digest and they would crawl inside your belly and plant spying and tracking gear in you, cat! And they will spill some castor oil there as well to give you fun in your pooping hobby.
DeleteHmmm I guess a hairball is due
DeleteBut wouldn't armor make them unable to chew?
And if not
Then they would be in pieces a whole lot
Now, I'm just smarter for having read your blog this morning.
ReplyDeleteWho knew from my cart
DeleteThat one could get smart
Thanks Pat for the education. Of course now, I'll be sitting here calculating my blinks per minute...
ReplyDeleteHopefully they calculate right
DeleteOh doing that all day would be a plight
I haven't gotten sick in 15 years... oh crap, am I turning into a shark?
ReplyDeleteAlso, people are so boring. I've probably laughed 15 times just this morning.
Yeah that is true
DeleteThey are boring in their view
Got me beat with that too
As it's 13 years at Pat's zoo
At least germ wise at my show
Now the damn back pain just needs to go
Asteroids can sure drive you nuts.
ReplyDeleteEspecially for astronauts
who sit on their butts.
They wouldn't sit pretty
DeleteLike some old bitty
If a hem was added to the roid
They'd squirm like some android
Wow...people need to laugh more!
ReplyDeleteTo do it, they could come to your shore!
The cockroach thing is amazing.
so they just lay there breathing?
I guess they could walk
but not eat, see or talk.
or even think
or wink.
LMAO. ha.
The skin cells...yep, that's gross enough for an Eeep.
and it's also why weekly I wash my bed sheets!
Eep?? Eep?? Ohh that I likkeeee :)
DeleteYeah that they could indeed
DeleteUntil I dropped the zombie foot seed
Then they would run
And no longer have fun
Yeah sharks and cockroaches are quite grand
Although I'd rather be immune to everything then run around headless across the land haha
Pffft figures you would
Eep all over my hood
Wow, the facts came flowing fast. Lots of bits this guy displayed, as he ranted factoids at your bay. Here's another, which is true, but unless you knew, you'll probably go ewww. Dogs tongues are super clean, despite the licking and the lot, their saliva has been known to heal your wounds and make cuts clot, it's true- if you're sick, let the dog have a lick, it's cool though, you don't have to worry about any germs, for their tongues are somehow very clean, if you don't believe, well ask any mutt and he'll affirm. Kind of gross but it's true, or so I've been told.
ReplyDeleteYeah I heard they were clean
DeleteNever knew they could heal cuts at ones scene
That would be kind of eww
Maybe that is why they are always trying to lick you
Still not sure on that
After seeing the crap they eat, literally, at ones mat
I love your idea of doing facts Pat, great rhymes as usual my man. You sure to seem to attract a lot of strange folk at your bay, myself being one of them since I'm here today.
ReplyDeleteYep strange folks do seem to show
DeleteWith my rhyming flow
But oh well
It is fun I will tell
Beware the headless cockroach!
ReplyDeleteYeah it can now poo at both ends
DeleteThat surely offends
Wow, interesting facts. Please send the weirdo round to me next time he calls! Yuck on the skin and the cockroach and I think your blog alone will make the laughing 15 times a day wrong! Thanks for ploughing through my waaaay too long blog today. You're the best!
ReplyDeletePlough away
DeleteI can do at any bay
As I drone on too
Here at my zoo
And glad I can beat the 15
Even when I try to be mean
Such crazy knowledge and facts! 40 pounds of skin cells over a lifetime? That is one strange fact.
ReplyDeleteLOL yeah that is one strange and nasty one
DeleteMakes me ocd want to cause me to run
"Every year in the US 625 people are struck by lightning.
ReplyDeleteStill on this topic? That is frightening."
Have you signed with a record label yet?
hahaha nope
DeleteStill just here all alone a rhyming dope haha
625 people striked down by lightning?
ReplyDeleteMan Thor was pissed.
Yeah that he was
DeleteOr maybe it was Zeus with such buzz
Don't go out when there's lightning, I'm a genius!
ReplyDeleteIt can strike inside too
DeleteIf eletronics are being used by you
What's that you're saying? Mosquitos are attracted most to the color blue? That explains a whole lot. Mosquitos and the IRS. The average person laughs 15 times a day? Even I beat that number. Sharks are the only animals that never get sick? I've got sharp teeth and I can swim.... so how come I'm always ill? Maybe I should become a loan shark. What do you think, Pat? :))
ReplyDeleteThe IRS comes after you all the way over there?
DeleteWow you must really owe some taxes at your lair
I wish I was a shark as well
To get rid of this neck pain hell
But a loan shark I would not be
As jail or death could come to thee
you don't even protect your people from the IRS, cat? See, the Alliance wouldn't let them approach our generals and soldiers.... The Blue one has chosen the wrong side...
DeletePfft the IRS can't get him over there
DeleteAs long as he stays out of the US lair
Yup, I'm sure your blog raises the average 15 for your readers. :)
ReplyDeleteI wonder how they calculated the amount of skin. It seems like it would be hard to track down every bit a person shed for even an hour . . .
Yeah glad I can help break the 15
DeleteHere at my scene
And who knows about that
Would surely not want that job at my mat
I giggled out loud at this:
ReplyDelete'The moon moves away from us at 34cm a year.
I can still moon with my rear, never fear.'
And then!~! And then!!! You had me freakin well counting my blinks! LOLOL
LOL had you right screwed up today
DeleteWith the mooning at my bay
And counting those blinks
Fun to create such hijinks
15 times a day? I'm surprised too! I laugh way more than than just reading Blogger or talking to my family. I feel sorry for people who have no sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe I'm to easily amused...
Well they do say small things amuse small minds hahaha
DeleteBut then there are all kinds
I'm out on a late night drive-by Cat. Duck!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou somehow managed to include your rear in this Cat face it facts says it can't be done, to rhyme with your bum.
I can rhyme anything with my rear
DeleteAnd I have no fear
For you would miss
And then I'd just hiss
Interesting facts Pat ~ I didn't know that about sharks and cockroaches ~ Have a good night ~
ReplyDeleteGlad with the facts
DeleteYou know some new acts
LOL! Who actually has time to figure this stuff out? I'm wondering if I can last as long as a cockroach without my head. Ha!
ReplyDeleteYeah some truly have no life
DeleteAnd headless would cause you strife
How do we know sharks don't get sick maybe they would get terra ferma sick you don't know humans get seasick so you take a shark stick on the ground and maybe it would get sick before it dies.......lol
ReplyDeleteThose female seahorses are onto something make the males have the babies....lol
I would write more but I have to go and get Little Leo from day care which means going out into the cold and rain why do I agree to do these things...........oh yeah I am a big old softy.......that's why.
LOL well that would bring death not sick
DeleteWhich is even more ick
Pfft female seahorses are crazy
I like getting the fun part and them being lazy haha
Out in the rain
Such a pain
But if you must go
Run fast to and fro
all we know is, HE'S CALLED THE STIG.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how this fits in, but it felt right at the time.
LOL well say what you wish
DeleteIt all fits in someway at my dish
I think I'm envious of the sharks.
ReplyDeleteThat we all are
DeleteAt my bar