Thursday, August 9, 2012

It's Olympic Time. Almost Makes Me Choose A Mime!

Yippee Yippee Yay!
We get to strut all day.
In uniforms that you provide,
We take a grand old stride.

A pretty medal dons our neck,
Forget about the endorsement paycheck.
Or the one we already receive.
Listen to our pet peeve.

That guy is taking a pill,
Not the one for a thrill.
Her cap is all wrong,
So fail her swan song.

That dart is one mm lighter.
He was a professional fighter.
That has to give him an edge,
Over the ballerina pledge.

I need some more tissues,
That brings copyright issues.
Him copying Mr. Nanny,
Prancing about, wiggling his fanny.

That one has some grass.
The stain is on her ass.
Wait! I wasn't looking there.
We aren't having an affair.

It was her brother's, sister's, friend's, dog that did it.
Wait! Take that back a bit.
Wouldn't want the SPCA,
To dock me a point today.

After all when I win,
Because I spiked the other guys gin.
All will remember me,
You just wait and see.

I'll be that guy,
That catches their eye.
Years and years ago he did something I think.
Is what they'll say over their kitchen sink.

I really must leave my mark.
His dog doesn't bark.
She has one in a bag,
He was insulted in some rag.

I believe it was little green men,
That invaded his den.
It's not fair,
They helped him at his lair.

Who says trampolines aren't a sport?
Takes more effort than a basketball court.
I mean you have to press firm,
As she swallows the worm.

Oh wait! That doesn't count.
Don't add it to my tally amount.
Canada might just stand a chance,
When ice is beneath their stance.

The eskimos cheat altogether.
They have that kind of weather.
Global warming will teach them all.
We'll win when water has sunk their hall.

For in fifty years,
I'll have the cheers.
They won't have any ice,
Won't that be nice.

Wait! She's on TLERPFGE.
Yeah, that is the acronym I see.
It has super duper enhancing power.
She will make men cower.

Just look at those lids,
I bet she's getting tons of ebay bids.
So have I won yet?
I think it's a safe bet.

For if I could bribe a judge,
And give another a nudge,
Whining would become a sport.
You woudn't even need a court.

All I would trump,
Making them a grump.
Hey PCPFJLSK user,
I know you're an abuser.

So there was the olympic run down of the day. I guess Two Screw Caribou lost at eating hay. Too bad I guess, either way I don't care I will confess. Although if whining was an excepted sport. I think they'd have tons of ships coming to port. At least some would have talent other than gas. Although I could win the later with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

73 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Just one
      Geez you speak a ton
      Calm down
      Before you fill my comment town hahaha

      Delete
    2. LOL...I had to catch my breath! Ah, so you were #1 at Brian's Bay. Smarty!!

      Delete
    3. Yes, was one over there
      Had to top you at some lair haha

      Delete
  2. I have to love this as a cynical, tongue in cheek ode to the Olympics Pat, I have enjoyed the event personally but I agree with the majority of your gripes and love this post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I just let it flow
      A bit cynical I know
      But that is more fun
      Then just an ordinary run

      Delete
  3. Oh drugs enhance
    performance there
    but here is driven
    snow.

    Oh Canada will
    surely win
    when winter turns
    to woe.

    So slap your
    mime but
    him a dime
    you'll have
    to give to Trump
    the loo of gold
    at Elsie's place
    of old.

    That picture of the loo is as close to gold as you'll ever get and there you'll not get at all. Go check her post for you she bested with apost that's meant to boast.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bah the trump
      Had no dump
      Or even a pee
      For me to see
      So how do I know
      Even if it was all aglow
      That there was any use
      But I can take the abuse
      So fun to hear
      And proves my fear
      That blabber had us in the wrong place
      She should really hide her face hahahaha

      Delete
    2. So you would have preferred there was a floater left behind from her behind. Gag me with a spoon Cat.

      Delete
    3. Well without such a thing
      We can't prove she used the golden wing

      Delete
    4. nit picky, nit picky, nit picky cat.

      Delete
    5. hahaha well it is true
      She could have saw it in view
      Or got a pic from some other lair
      That shows off the loo's glare haha

      Delete
  4. The team has a lot of woes,
    its really sad to see some dreams go
    but whining as a sport,
    well that would be an easy sort ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah many could join
      Without spending coin
      To get into shape
      Still be plump as a grape

      Delete
  5. ha, its like a soap opera isnt it, get enough people to togeher and the piles start to shit up, wait it think that was a mix up, i like the rather cynical drink from the cup, how can we expect them to be less human than us, well unless of sourse you count enhancements but thats how you get endorsements....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the shit rises high
      And the fumes never dry
      Cynical or not
      Some whine a whole lot
      And yeah those endorsements must come
      So they stab the steriods in their bum

      Delete
  6. If whining were in the games
    I'd put everyone to shame
    but I already hold all the gold
    my story has been told
    I sat upon the Golden Loo
    It is there for you to view
    Next time you visit the NYC
    maybe you'll get the golden key?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well I wasn't going to say it
      But yeah you'd make many take a hit
      For you can whine all day
      Over at your bay hahaha
      I only saw a golden loo
      I never saw it sat on by you
      So the cat will stick his head in the sand
      And pretend it was never seen at your land hahaha

      Delete
    2. So now the stakes have been raised
      and Elsie will never be praised
      even though all conditions have been met
      I'm glad we never placed a bet
      One can never trust a cat
      I'm headed back over to my mat.

      Delete
    3. LOL but there was no proof
      You could easly goof
      And try to trick the cat
      As not even your hand was seen or some old bat
      Plus the loo was nice and clean
      So you can't prove it 100% at your scene hahaha

      Delete
    4. Okay fine, we call a truce
      but I will never lay a deuce
      because that is far to gross
      to put in any kind of post
      When I go back there next year
      I will show a toe, or hand or ear

      Delete
    5. LOL okay
      That sounds like the way
      But if you won't go
      In the toilet to show
      You have to write on your hand
      And stick it in from of the stand
      Saying for all to view
      Poo!

      Delete
    6. My method
      you should have
      chosen
      a Challenge
      issued for
      all to see
      a winner
      a loser
      a boasting post

      Now stop fussing or I'll smack the both of you.

      Delete
    7. LOL would have be grand
      But then she'd have to show more than a hand
      And yes mommy dearest I'll stop
      Before you hit me with a mop

      Delete
    8. I'll use wire coat hangers like Joan Crawford.

      Delete
    9. He is the biggest pain in my rear
      I can not please him ever, I fear
      He will never believe in what do
      unless he sees my disgusting poo!

      Delete
    10. LOL that would hurt
      Blood might spurt

      Well even if I see your poo
      How will I know it is from you
      You will have to write on your hand
      And show it across the land
      Then show you used it
      And then I'll believe you and the loo were a hit haha

      Delete
  7. "Who says trampolines aren't a sport?
    Takes more effort than a basketball court."
    HELL YEAH! I WANT TO TELL THIS TO ALL I KNOW!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That may not be wise
      They may think you tell lies

      Delete
  8. Every four years
    I love the cheers
    To watch something happy
    Even the sappy
    Fulfillment of dreams
    Joy of hero screams
    I can't fault a good thing
    Let the bells ring
    I enjoy the flame
    That brings on the game
    Every four years
    I savor the cheers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoy
      And many they employ
      But the screams hurt my ears
      Giving the cat fears

      Delete
    2. About now I am ready
      for them to end as well
      two weeks is a long time
      to be under their spell!

      Delete
    3. Yeah as with most things they grow old
      Whether or not one wins the gold

      Delete
  9. I remember my old school doing their own olympics in 1996. It was pretty neat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would be fun to do
      Your own olympic crew

      Delete
  10. Hi, just to let you know that I've nominated you for the Versatile Blog Award!

    Just go to my page: http://cathrine-garnell.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/another-award-yay.html

    To find out how to claim it, if you want to.

    Have a great day

    Cat

    www.cathrine-garnell.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  11. Fill your rummer
    Get drunk all summer

    But what about the fall?
    Make sure you got it all.
    Olympics sure have it all...
    boxing, judo, basketball
    But my favorite one of all
    is ladies beach volleyball.
    Because they have bikinis
    Which makes big, my ween...oh, never mind.
    TV's on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fall has yet to come
      So don't be glum
      When it is around
      Fall will be found
      And yeah that ball they pound
      Prancing like a hound
      Or would that be me
      Drooling at the sight I see
      And as for the you know
      I'm glad the tv was all aglow haha

      Delete
  12. I've never really seen the Olympics, nor have I gotten into it. I can appreciate the message it brings though. It's nice to see all the countries playing nice with some friendly competition :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not sure how much they play nice
      Or if friendly is part of their spice
      But yeah I suppose it has a message in there
      At least some where

      Delete
  13. Ah yes, the Olympics, where people will do anything to win. ANYTHING. My favorite is when they want the challenge the judges' score for inaccuracy, which they can do on the spot, and it costs something like $500. So after the event the guy runs over and hands the judge $500 to review it again. They have pictures of this, and it looks terrible. Yeah, an "accuracy check", that's what it is...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pfft I never knew that one bit
      That is just a money pit
      Giving their dollars away
      To make them win for their display
      That is pathetic as can be
      A bribe is all it is to me

      Delete
  14. hey..if they made rhyming an olympic discipline, you had good chances...smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I could win that
      And squash the competition flat

      Delete
  15. Oh, I'm sure there is some negative drama there
    and some cheating here and there
    but some inspirational stories I've seen at my lair
    young people working hard is always a winner and so rare.
    Dedication and sacrifice I think are great
    and better than letting their lives go to waste.

    One of my favorites was the double leg amputee
    running in a race...was so great to see!
    Lost his legs at one year of age
    and didn't just pout or scream with rage.

    So I guess I have a different attitude to make
    and the good part of the games, I will take!

    Maybe you could apply for a little scooping contest?
    I'm quite sure you'd be the best! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is true
      As there are quite a few
      Stories that are told
      Worth more than gold
      The others just ruin it for the rest
      Failing their little drug test
      And then again any story can be spun
      To be inspirational if rightfully done

      Yeah that story surely is grand
      Not bitching in his land
      But doing something about it
      With a fit

      A scooping contest you say
      I'm sure you can give me a run for my money come game day haha

      Delete
    2. haha...well, maybe I'd win at how MUCH can be scooped
      but you'd probably win at the finesse of scooping poop.
      hahahaha.

      Delete
  16. You come up with the most hilarious lines--don't you!

    I love it :)

    That one has some grass.
    The stain is on her ass.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lines are grand
      Never too bland
      Or else my sass
      Wouldn't be worth of the grass
      That I use in mass
      To drop stuff from my ass hahaha

      Delete
  17. So lovely to meet you, I wanted to say congrats on the blog award from Catherine. Kisses.

    ReplyDelete
  18. About the Olympics
    I'll say this
    Summer nor Winter
    it matters not
    for the
    Republic of Ireland
    for we've got
    no chance
    of medals to win
    unless being
    piss drunk is one
    of them.

    At least you feckers stand a chance in the Winter. We won a medal in horses once, but it turned out our horse was on drugs and they took the medal from us. I have to laugh or else I'd cry, it's the luck of the Irish again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We got one today Anne with a female boxer and gold on her breast!

      Delete
    2. Oh but I'm crying tears of joy right now. I just went and looked and it was our own Katie Taylor that done it. And her mum and dad there and so proud with her running our flag around the ring.

      Delete
    3. No chance what so ever you say?
      And then they win one today
      See the power of the universe
      Proving there is no curse
      Or it just wanted to prove you wrong
      After your above little song haha

      Delete
  19. I haven't seen one bit of the Olympics. I guess I don't have to with that summary. Haha!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn I'm good
      Market my summations I should

      Delete
  20. Thanks for the rundown on the Olympics--I've only been watching a few clips here and there and trying to avoid the big dramas. :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well now you don't even need a clip
      After my rhyming trip haha

      Delete
  21. LOL... Who needs the Olympics... I just read a marathon ;)
    What the heck are those acronyms...or should I dare even ask! I'm feeling as fit as a fiddle now I've had some armchair sport ..of a sort.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha don't ask
      For they are a large task
      If I were to spell them out
      I might offend a trout

      Delete
  22. No mention of Coke or McDonald's and their advertisements? Hm.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well I don't want to give them air time
      For they aren't paying me a dime

      Delete
  23. They have been on here regularly. I did see someone dancing in the sand while tossing a ball. I just can't call that a sport; or maybe I can't call it a sport that I could ever watch again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO yeah the word sport has lost all meaning
      I think they need to do a screening

      Delete
  24. Well, you know, glad you did some olympics at your show, for I haven't watched not a word of the rerun fun, can't watch a sport where the results were reported earlier, not that in to dancing with streamers or walking really fast, especially when it's already announced who finished first or last. This post is much more entertaining, you've got a bit of it all, some games, some aliens, the SPCA and of course "sportsmanship" at your bay, even the random movie reference tossed, Mr. Nanny of all to boast, perfect for an olympic roast. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah tossed in whatever popped in
      Whether or not it was a sin
      I always go for the win
      Here at my bin
      And yeah stupid how the winner is alrady known
      But oh well at least you don't have to watch it and moan

      Delete
  25. volleyball is my new favorite sport due to the olympics

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha always been a favorite of mine
      Played by Pat and not the feline

      Delete
  26. tons of ebay bids haha Well, I'm not a fan of the Olympics though I did a bit of blue biking myself the other day, but I reckon a blogger Olympics would be so much more interesting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah a blogger Olympics would be grand
      But they might get out of hand

      Delete