Saturday, August 11, 2012

Mess With A Cat And Bad Things Will Happen At Your Mat!

It seems the cat isn't the only one with special powers for there were others back when the aliens were building those pyramid towers. They could apparently put the bibbity bobbity boo on you too. So the cat decided to warn you of such a thing should you ever see such a statue at your wing.

So regal and so golden with some black. Want one for your shack? I would strongly urge you to say no for if such a statue were to show an evil spirit would show up and steal your heart then it would rip off some random part and have both for lunch, or maybe brunch.


By looking at this one right in the eye you will be a foolish gal or guy. For your legs will grow thin and so will those of your kin. Then one lucky family member will turn to stone. It will be the first one who picks up a phone.


This one will make you go blind and suck the brain from your mind. Then you will turn into a tin lass or lad and get sent to Oz where flying monkeys will drive you mad.


If you bow and expose yourself below to this one. He will think you are quite fun and let you go in peace. Of course your life may cease if a cop shows up and notices your little exposure hiccup. But then if you don't do it. I hear he swaps genders down below or sends one into some Hell pit.


This guy is a fake, fraud, a phony. In other words he is full of baloony. But a good weapon he can be and knock one out at any sea.


Those eyes will turn you into a zombie with their stare. You will become intranced in their glare and before long be chowing down on human meat. Wouldn't that be a tasty treat?


I think you can guess this guy. I will give you a second to try. That is right! If you see this one in your sight it is off with your head. In other words you will be dead.


This one turns you to plastic I hear. But have no fear. You can still live a normal life with only a little strife. Just don't get too hot or you will start to melt at your sea or to cold as more than one crack will appear on thee.


Pucker up is all I can say. For if you see this display. You will kiss anything that comes into your sight. Man, woman, toilet seat and even zombie feet. All you will do is pucker up those lips until you make so many lip trips that you catch germs galore and die of some horrible disease at your shore.


This one makes you say everything on your mind and then sniff your own behind. He must be related to a dog. But your mind will no longer be a fog. Whatever you think you blurt out. That is sure to make others shout.

Aren't all of these cats just mean? One is even very obscene. So now you know that no matter what the cat does at his sea. I will never cause such grief upon thee. But in case you do get stuck in the view of one of these all you have to do is pretend to have fleas. Scratch away behind your ear and send out a rhyme time cheer. The curse will pass and you will thank my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

34 comments:

  1. This is just great but there is just one sacred Cat and even Pat knows that. He blogs and he rhymes, he's the cat and that's that, great rhymes as usual man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes they will never top me
      If they try I'll send them a flea
      And that will be the end of that
      Proving I am top cat

      Delete
  2. Cats galore
    To the fore
    Size and color
    Are lots more
    Many in store

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah many around
      That can be found
      As they voodoo you
      If that is true

      Delete
  3. ah the cat gods have spoken and you are to be broken
    or zombified, brain fried, not a bad bit to protect your mat
    from the unwanted that might invade your bit of shade...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah will keep the rift raft away
      From my bay
      As that works for me
      So I'll set the kitty spirits free

      Delete
  4. and for the record
    i ave never
    had an adverse affect
    from reading you dialect

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is good to know
      Wouldn't want to screw up your flow
      As that the cat would never do
      Just once in a while make fun of you haha

      Delete
  5. So many cats here...it is interesting that some
    cultures have revered them as gods or signs of luck~
    I find it scary to have these around me..ha..ha...

    Happy Saturday Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha scary you say
      I'll have to show more at my bay
      And yeah gods are fine
      For the feline

      Delete
  6. Its amazing how much egypt worshipped cats.

    If they worshipped food as much they would be land of the fats

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yeah that is very true
      I guess with cats those humans really knew

      Delete
  7. I will say they had amazing collars on their necks
    If I tried one on mine, they'd say what the heck!
    We had an all black cat once..best cat in the world
    was great to have on the front porch at Halloween giving a twirl.
    haha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yeah Orlin and Cassie would not appreciate a collar
      They'd do more then hollar
      They'd get it off and eat it too
      So it wasn't in their view
      Scare the kids away at Halloween
      That would make for quite the scene

      Delete
  8. OOOOHHHHH, I sure could use a couple of those cats, especially on one particular family member I wouldn't mind turning into stone. He's got a stone heart anyway so it would be a blessing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha well stone heart makes him a candidate indeed
      Feel free to borrow from when in need

      Delete
  9. what beautiful and proud shapes. cats, among other animals, are still used in witchcraft. they help to 'see' things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I hope the things one sees
      Are only a bunch of fleas
      And not some ghost
      That wants a body to host

      Delete
  10. haha..too many cats on this post today..smiles...and i may kiss a zombie but no toilet seat..smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'd kiss a zombie? ewww
      You do know it would prob eat you? haha

      Delete
  11. The statues are seductively sweet and draw your eyes their way. And that's how they do it. They know you're going to look at them all sleek and shiny and then BAM you're under their control. Thank God my cats only want food and loving. Both when it's convenient for them of course.

    I'm outside and just fed Fang and now she's curled up on her chair, yes her chair, the one no one else is allowed to sit it except her. And she's looking at me as if to say 'Yes, I shall let you live for another day you puny human'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is how they pull if off
      To make the puny humans scoff
      This cat wants more than that
      Unlike miss prissy Cassie cat
      LOL Fang is in control
      No matter where she takes a stroll
      And will take all down
      Should they try to remove her crown

      Delete
  12. I'm not a cat person (sorry, Cat) but I would totally rock a few of those in my home! They look like they would bring good vibes and protection to home. :) :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pffft they know you like the dog
      So would not protect your log
      They would curse you
      With their view haha

      Delete
  13. Okay, some of the cats are pretty, but others are a bit creepy. Perhaps I shouldn't say such things, so I will quietly leave now :) Hope you're doing well these days!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bah they are allowed to scare
      And doing okay I suppose at my lair

      Delete
  14. Oh, I would LOVE that 3rd one down, the silver one. Come to thin of if I do have a small silver one :) Bippity boppity boo to you ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With the tacky nose ring
      You want that thing?
      Geez no taste
      Bippity boppity boo-ing might turn you to paste

      Delete
  15. Most of them look rather majestic. It's a pity they're full of evil intent.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep all very evil I think
      They may even clog your sink

      Delete
  16. the lines, like cat lore in themselves. Quite fun to read. Yeah, cat's can be mean, guess if you had to pose all day for a statue to be made, probably wouldn't be too thrilled about it either though lol Cool statues though, I have a couple of cat statues, if you want to call them that, maybe statuettes, I don't know, one's a curled up cat I use for a bookend, and then there's this siamese one that used to freak me out as a kid, it's upstairs in the attic, probably trying to cause trouble. You see how that disney film ruined me, Siamese are probably great cats, but I just don't trust em lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha forgot all about Lady and the Tramp
      Where the siamese scamp
      They were scary and mean
      Creating quite a scene
      I hear they are great cats though
      And really like to bellow

      Delete
  17. and this is why mummies fear cats

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd take cats over mummies
      As they have rotten tummies

      Delete