Friday, August 10, 2012

Take A Seat And Help Me Sorta Cheat!

So the cat isn't afriad to admit he and Pat know little about football, not one bit. As far as we are concerned at our stall they are all a bunch of overpaid weenies that like to ball. That goes for all sports on the higher end, meaning the million dollar pay trend. But this isn't about that. For you can help the cat, actually more like Pat as he is up to bat. Joined a fantasy football league the other day and I have to say, no idea who to pick. So cheating will do the trick.

Should it be Tom and Jerry?
That guy that sucks on a berry?
The man in the mask?
I have to ask.

As I don't know.
No one seems to show,
From Friday Night Lights.
No Radio to get me to huge heights.

I can't Remember the Titans at all.
The Replacements won't take my call.
Necassary Roughness is just too rough.
Starship Troopers stand around in the buff.

The Program just plain sucked.
Varsity Blues said I'm umm plucked.
So what am I to do?
Can't even sucker that Major League crew.

The Rookie won't speak to me.
Slapshot is too cold for Bush Number Three.
That Hometown Legend is around the bend.
Can you see the growing trend?

If it were a movie league I'd win,
The nice bright shiny pin.
But not with this sport.
I missed the basketball court.

Umm The 6th man?
Coach Carter was not a fan.
See that I can do.
So picks from you?

Who should be on my crew.
It's sad but true,
That Dumb and Dumber can beat me.
So I'll cheat using thee.

Old One Eye,
May come and cry.
Blabber too,
But ignore such a thing if it comes due.

Who should I pick,
To do the trick.
And make them all lose,
Sobbing in their booze.

Feel free to leave the best below and help me cheat at my show. I guess it isn't really cheating as it's just advice and any would be nice. But it is all for fun and that is why it was given a run. Have to at least let me beat Worqueendan's crew. That just has to come due. Then I can give him some sass and be a gloating little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

59 comments:

  1. I wish I could help you on your fantasy league Pat but unfortunately the football I follow is soccer and I know nothing about your kind of football so sorry man and cat. I hope that you can cheat your way to the top and beat the other fantasy sporting flops.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I will cheat
      But prob suffer defeat
      Oh well
      I admit to knowing nothing at my cell
      So that will be that
      If I'm a losing cat haha

      Delete
  2. I'm bad at football too, like YeamieWaffles I'm good at soccer only, too. But I know you can win this. I just know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahaha I don't believe you
      As I think losing will come due

      Delete
  3. ugh...i got little clue when it comes to fantasy, at least about men in pads and tight fitting pants, those are not the things to make me prance, just know the favorites are not always the best you have to think who will out perform all the rest, i would pick up a street & smiths as they usually rank players, that way you can out pick the haters

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well you have more clue than me
      To what should be picked at my sea
      And yeah not a fantasy of mine at all
      Plus if I prance I'd prob fall haha
      Sounds like a plan
      Will see which ones they are a fan

      Delete
  4. Here is my advice...Get a kicker in the first 2 rounds! Quarterbacks and running backs are the least of your worries! Kickers are where it's at! They net you the most points out of all the positions! After you have loaded your team with kickers, then get a defense! lol

    You're going down cat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Okay I will choose to believe you
      And that you are being true
      So a kicking I will go
      And I will prob suffer a defeating blow haha

      Delete
    2. lol lol I might actually win this if this is your strategies ;)

      Delete
    3. hahaha knew it was too good to be true
      Him giving advice at my zoo

      Delete
  5. So far none of us seem to be much help. Except Dan and I think he knows his football. People seem to like quarterbacks, why don't you be one of those. I don't know who's good but I can find out who's hot if your interested.

    You're so going to get creamed by Jax and Elsie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really hope the cat takes my advice! *evil laugh* mwahaha!

      Delete
    2. LOL I will admit to getting creamed with ease
      I'd be better of picking fleas
      But at least if I can beat worqueendan
      Or become a flash in the pan
      That would work for me
      And I knew he was lying at my sea hahaha

      Delete
    3. Anne...we are soooo going to kick butt!!! I want the ladies to win this one ;)

      Delete
    4. Considering you know waaaay more than most
      Yeah you should win the given post

      Delete
  6. Oh, this is great, Pat. Im not sure I'd be much help, since I don't follow the sport either. I'd close my eyes and pick that way. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL that sounds like the way to be
      Close ones eyes and pick away with glee

      Delete
  7. Wishing you good luck
    as I pass the buck!!
    (smiles)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I want to pass it too
      To all of you haha

      Delete
  8. I never got into fantasy football since I could never tell what to do myself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You aren't the only one
      To not know under your sun

      Delete
  9. Lots of Runs and stops
    Covered at the tops
    Like warriors into battle
    Developments so technical
    Give me soccer
    It's less bother!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Soccer I hate
      Football same fate
      So all will be well
      As I pick at my cell haha

      Delete
  10. haha...had to drop out myself with my auction schedule
    and then it got changed at the last minute. what the hell!
    Was going to have Taylor help me do mine
    as he does it himself and wins a few dimes.
    So I would be no help to you
    as personally I don't have a clue!
    But there is such a thing as beginner's luck
    and you might win and make them say WTF!
    lol....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha stupi auction schedule screwed you over
      Maybe I need to go back and get that four leaved clover
      Will nugget let me borrow a foot or two
      I promise to send them back to you hahahaha
      But yeah beginners luck is my only hope
      But win or lose with this I won't mope

      Delete
    2. If you borrow Nuggets feet,
      please return them with the claws trimmed nice and neat.
      As I really hate that chore
      and it's one he also does not adore.
      lol....

      Delete
    3. LOL that I can do
      As used to eat with Orlin at my zoo
      As his has to be cut
      Or he'll scratch me from butt to gut

      Delete
  11. Aww, Pat!!! Ok...some good advice? Do your research!!! I've been following along to see what players are moved to what teams and the player's chemistry with the quarterbacks. Also, if a player in injury prone, you're going to want to avoid getting them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got some research done
      So ready to give it a run
      Just seeing if it was right or wrong
      At least I can beat most at Donkey Kong haha

      Delete
  12. drat
    pat
    this blog is neat
    am totally grabbing a seat
    offers hand and a grin
    as to that filling rummer and drunk summer
    thank you..i'll have a tonic n gin....:))

    * stumbled across ur rhyming on brian's page....couldn't resist...lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I'll see what I can do
      To getting you drunk at my zoo
      But don't blame me
      If you set things free
      For all to see
      And try to umm hump a tree hahaha

      Delete
    2. birds n bees
      and dogs n bitches
      humping now comes with glitches
      here n here n where it itches
      lets not even mention the sweat glands
      why not stick to the adventures of the hand....:P

      Delete
    3. Not afraid to go deep
      With the innuendo at my keep
      So fun to see and do
      At least the hand will never cheat on you
      And you have two
      So if one gets tired the other can sub for you hahaha

      Delete
  13. Are you kidding me right now, Pat? Reaching out to your followers for advice! What a low blow, even for you. I think Orlin is rubbing off on you. You want my advice - pick the Gatorade guy or maybe the towel boy, they'll be the ones you'll be spending the most time with on the sidelines...or the locker room....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO geez aren't you quite the mean one
      Now I have to research a ton
      So I can beat you and your one eye
      And make it start to cry
      Then through you tears
      You soon a couple of mooning rears
      For you will lose
      And the cat and now Pat will even abuse hahaha

      Delete
  14. Dude, just play eeny meeny miney mo. It works for my kids every time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds good to me
      If I lose I'll blame thee

      Delete
  15. About this link
    I dont know anything
    about all this thing
    hope you have a good flint:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing at all
      Well neither do I at my stall

      Delete
  16. I AM A FANTASY FOOTBALL FANATIC AND HAVE ACTUALLY WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP OF MY ALL FEMALE FANTASY LEAGUE TWO YEARS RUNNING!!!!! WHOO HOO!!!!!!! But, if I told ya my secrets, I would have to kill ya!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I don't have to face you
      You scared me with the Whoo Hoo hahaha

      Delete
  17. No fantasy league for me.
    It's hard as trigonometry.
    Instead I bet on who'll be the winners.
    And, if I'm right?
    Beer with my dinners.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yeah that sounds like the better way
      As that I can do at my bay
      But I'll give the fantasy a run
      Even if I've lost before I've begun

      Delete
  18. I have no idea how Fantasy Football works, so I'm no help. Sorry. :/

    Sounds awfully complicated . . .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it is very much
      But I'll just go and lose and such

      Delete
  19. Maybe sports would be more interesting if we let athletes go the whole hog with steroids then we would have a game to watch. Seven foot wide at the shoulders, chest hair like Robin Williams and that's just the women. You named almost every sports film there, personally i like the eccentric looking sports stars of the eighties and seventies. Today they all have contracts with Gillette and cereal companies so they have to adopt a generic look. There are no more Kurt Rambis or Joe Namoth's or David Bedford's these days. Even wrestling, as ridiculous as it is, has lost its pantomime element. Good luck on your fantasy league, hope you win.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I prob won't win
      Here at my bin
      And yeah I agree
      They are all as generic as can be
      So they can get the money
      Were better when they looked funny haha

      Delete
  20. I am clueless about this too,
    just close your eyes and pick one,
    it always work for me !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well that is what I did for a few
      Just picked having no clue haha

      Delete
  21. Sadly, I have no wisdom to share on this one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your zen powers have failed
      You should be jailed haha

      Delete
  22. Not a sports fan myself, and I've never heard of this fantasy thing. However, if there is a wizard or dragon to choose, that would be my advice.

    I will drink to your angsty choices though, and cheer you on from the sidelines :)

    ........dhole

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL not sure they were there
      Or I would have picked them as they are rare

      Delete
  23. Haha, fun football film reference fun. Seen em' all, but big on football at my stall. If you're really doing fantasy it'll get addictive, I think for anyone, this guy joined one of the leagues I'm in with college buddies a couple years ago and this guy can't stand sports, pretty much for the $$$ figure point you made, but he's loving himself some fantasy football now, and while he doesn't have a team to root for, he just watches the games to find out his fantasy score. Fantasy hockey's real fun too, but they might not be playing this year if that lockout comes due. Funny you mentioned the program in here, now you got me trying to remember who the big roid head dumb dumb in that film was, I should know too, because I had a roommate that popped that dvd in everytime he came back from the bar at 4am, and in a dorm, you get stuck hearing it and such, which was funny because even though, after awhile I was able to ignore it and let the sleep flow lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I only watched the program once at my sea
      I had no one like that thankfully
      Not big on football or sports because of the money thing
      Here at my wing
      But yeah it should be fun I suppose
      We shall see how it goes

      Delete
  24. I have no idea how football or fantasy football work so I'm suggesting you add Captain Planet to your roster.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well at least I can reuse
      And not Earth abuse

      Delete