Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Such A dVerse Cheat. I Will Still Make Them Suffer Defeat!

So in case all of you didn't know because dVerse is keeping it on the down low, they installed a few game machines there. They really make the cat swear. Those things are rigged I say. But they will not win no matter how much I have to pay.

For a simple buck,
You can test your luck.
Line up the blocks in a row,
Make them all keep their glow.

Then you win a prize.
We tell you no lies.
It is so easy a monkey could win.
Oops! You lost, what a sin.

For another buck,
You could test your luck.
I mean you already tried,
You know where the tricks hide.

Care to try once more?
Could wind up at some foreign shore.
Damn! You lost again.
Such is the fate of men.

Third time is the charm.
What's the harm?
Just another buck.
Care to try your luck?

You found two ways to lose,
Through it this time you'll cruise.
And on that note,
You may even hop a boat.

Picture a cruise getaway.
So what do you say?
Oh! So close, yet so far.
Maybe you should try the bar.

I'm just kidding with you.
Four is ever so true.
That is your number I bet.
So don't runaway and fret.

For another buck.
You can once more try your luck.
Now that you've drained all the bad.
Good luck must be had.

Give it one more try.
I bet you don't die.
Rats! I was so wrong.
And you won for so long.

Only to end up back at the start.
Doesn't that just break your heart?
But you will survive.
Let's go for five.

Just another buck,
And you can test your luck.
Crap! Ever so close.
Almost won a house.

Oh! Almost once more.
Damn! Could have went to the shore.
Wow! You almost had it that time.
Oh! Losing is such a crime.

What is that?
Your wallet is flat?
Hey dude, want to try your luck.
It costs just a buck.

The joke is on them though for I knew they would cheat at their show. So I stole the tip jar, meaning I'm still on par. They weren't going to get a dime for committing such a crime. The next time I get admission I will bring the lottery commission. That will get some sass and still make me a winning little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

74 comments:

  1. ha you found the game room, where cars go zoom and enemies go boom....its all there to suck a quarter, maybe 20 years ago, those things are expensive these days and make your money blow

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah now they cost a ton
      And when game over is spun
      Suck way more money out of you
      So avoid them I do

      Delete
  2. first at your dock
    fast as a microwave
    others slow as a crock pot

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha never saw it put like that
      Surely a new first cheer at my mat

      Delete
  3. Best starting lines for a poem EVERRR!!!

    "For a simple buck,
    You can test your luck."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the best you say?
      Hmm must not have seen some at my bay

      Delete
  4. haha that was really good, I like that you took the tip jar, also this is my favourite part:


    Third time is the charm.
    What's the harm?
    Just another buck.
    Care to try your luck?

    Just rolls of your tongue!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah just flows in a way
      That makes one want to pay
      Maybe I should advertise
      Get some money for spreading lies

      Delete
  5. The novelty is the same
    Call it whatever name
    Only the players are different
    And they don't seem to learn
    Players come players go
    Another buck? Ok, just one more
    It goes on and on
    Don't hope of having won
    Just think of having fun
    And anytime you can run

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah run away
      Before night turns to day
      And over and over again
      Sucking all the money from your den

      Delete
  6. This is a post that I can relate to so much due to my gambling issues haha. I know exactly what it's like, they use words and manipulate thoughts to get you to believe that you just need one more time, the next time to get the prize and just like in this rhyme once you've ran out of money they then move onto their next victim. The last bit is great too, stops me from leaving with a really bitter taste in my mouth, thank God you got revenge on those cretins!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah gambling days have come and gone
      Here at my lawn
      Thankfully I made out great
      So I know such a fate

      Delete
  7. Just one more spin
    and you will win
    it's really not sin
    any more than is gin
    addictions are all kin
    just one more spin
    before the looney bin!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that rubber room
      Can sure spell doom
      And bring you gloom
      Along with some shroom

      Delete
  8. I'm sure it was the cat who did nothing but cheat
    not knowing how to do anything but mistreat
    a pull of a knob and watching wheels spin
    using a wooden nickel to get your win
    go run home and get back to your bay
    there's a litter box full of poo for you to go lay

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pffft the cat doesn't need to cheat
      For no one out there can beat
      My little rhyming ass
      For I have too much class
      As you are well aware
      For I simply run around bare

      Delete
  9. ha. Sounds like me at the slot machines.
    Bad luck was following me, oh so mean!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha luck is usually on my side
      When I give the slots a ride
      But it can change like the tide
      And away I watch the money glide

      Delete
    2. It's still fun if you have money to blow
      and you know when to say no!
      ha.

      Delete
    3. Oh yeah I agree
      Been done plenty a time by me
      Of course now, no way
      Don't want to have an alley for a bay haha

      Delete
  10. I didn't know there was one in the pub ~ Smiles ~

    I am not good with this luck thing,
    I end up losing them to machine ring ~

    Happy day Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah they hide them in the back
      So the taxman doesn't cause them flack
      One pull or two
      And never know, a win could come due

      Delete
  11. Such indeed is the fate of men
    Where the hell did I put my pen?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe in your sock?
      You'll notice it when you walk

      Delete
  12. I need to show this post to my parents who have a serious gambling addiction. Maybe they could learn a thing or two about stealing the tip jar so they could actually pay their mortgage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha as long as they don't take the tip jar and gamble that too
      Then out on the corner is where they'll come due

      Delete
  13. Luck goes in pattern,
    turn your patient,cat/Pat On,
    and you'll get the kush-
    that's when time for tush!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah just have to give it a bit
      Then luck may surely hit
      Just have to know
      When to get up and go also

      Delete
  14. see..this is why i'm always late with my commenting...got stuck with the game machine in the pub..ha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I knew you were afflicted
      And a bit addicted
      Maybe one day you will win
      Could always rig it at your bin haha

      Delete
  15. lol A game machine??? You should skip that and head on over to isketch ;) lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL back at that once more?
      Are you at your shore

      Delete
  16. Gambling hotline may need a call
    Watch your wallet growing small
    You won't win, not at all
    They suck you in and watch you fall

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is very true
      For most of what comes due
      But I have proven that wrong
      And made them sing a different song

      Delete
  17. Today your fame
    is to write of each game,
    good luck to us all
    as our bank accounts fall.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If mine got large
      I'd buy my own barge
      Errr umm Island I'd mean
      Barge would be a stinky scene

      Delete
  18. I stopped using real money and only lose virtual cash now!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah virtual cash
      Is much easier to flash

      Delete
  19. I don't mind gambling with toy money. Used to love making millions on Monopoly but, gambling and loosing real money.. nahhh... not for me, I even hate not winning at Bingo, that's why I never go! Darn it, rhyming again ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, you made millions on Monopoly you say?
      Damn must have been a lot of fake money floating around your bay haha

      Delete
  20. Haha! Stealing their tips! I like that justice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that serves em right
      I steal them every night

      Delete
  21. I'll bet
    not on
    games of
    chance
    for skill
    I'll drop
    a dime.

    When horses
    run it's
    loads of
    fun to
    lay some
    money down.

    And winning
    there
    well it's
    not quite
    fair when
    information
    is passed
    by Cousins
    known
    who own
    said horses
    here and
    there who
    win most
    every time.

    It's not cheating, it's being smart. My mother had a racing Grey Hound once and it's name was Loll's Surprise. Fine dog, if only he'd ever won a race it would have been grand.

    Hey Cat, I just crawled out of bed. I posted then went dead asleep as it's been a long couple of days.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah not cheating at all
      Knowing the winner in the stall
      Never bet on a horse race
      Would be fun to do if I was somewhere where they took place
      Long days are all around
      Seems they are all that are found

      Delete
  22. I think you are a lucky man LOL

    ReplyDelete
  23. When games of chance come my way
    I much prefer to say, "Nay."
    For I'd rather not spend a buck
    on a game of pure luck.
    Don't want to lose
    unless I have booze.
    Then I think I'm a lucky f**k.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What liquor can do
      To screw with you
      Give you liquid crap
      Make you take a dirt nap
      And wake up broke
      Maybe even a naked bloke

      Delete
  24. Plus, the fun never ends
    with Words With Friends.
    'cause not a cent I spend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha still need your cell bill
      Or internet for such a thrill
      So technically costs a cent or two
      Out of you

      Delete
  25. OK I'm in I'll give 'em a roll

    come on lucky seven

    else I'll have to fold :(

    and there they go - can't look :) - peeps with one eye - YES!!!!

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx hugs n love Pat - lib

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you could win
      Losing is such a sin
      And spreading the love
      Fits the cat like a glove

      Delete
  26. Going straight to the tip jar
    is smartest move by far.
    And it doesn't cost a buck, so what the ---- I mean, why not?

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha feel free to let it fly
      Swearing doesn't hurt the cat or those who come to spy

      Delete
  27. I'm not a gambling girl,
    but now I want to give it a whirl...

    next time I have a dollar,
    I will give you a holler.

    Hey, I think I'm getting better at this! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not bad at all
      Here on my wall
      Give it go
      And win some dough
      But if it is a ton
      Send some to my sun haha

      Delete
  28. Hi Pat....You just made a comment in my blog. I commented in response, "You are a wise man, Pat." I mean it. You really ARE. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calling me wise you say
      Went and saw it at your bay
      I guess I can fake it well
      At least at my cell haha

      Delete
  29. Theres a casino not far away

    I wish I could go there and play

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I went to mine once or twice
      Won enough to buy some rice

      Delete

  30. either someone stole my wallet
    or i splashed way 2 much cash at the bar

    all i know
    is that i enjoyed the show

    ... to the bar again Pat

    Lets go!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Back to the bar
      To steal the new tip jar

      Delete
  31. I keep picturing you and Brian arm wrestling. Ha! And Claudia joining in. (Maybe with the cat! Or maybe beating both of you!) k.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the cat would beat all
      Just a scratch and they would fall

      Delete
  32. Damn…I 'm such a sucker for games…yep, rigged and all, I still think I'll win one at my stall…damn lotto gets a bit of what I have pretty much each day, for the charade of perhaps winning big one day…but the games in a bar, that is fun for sure, because the drunks will lose quicker than those who aren't, and the money will flow so quickly too…not sure about the tip jar thing, the d'verse police might try and make you sing, but games on the down low, if that's not a sign to avoid, well, then I don't know, but if you play, yep, might get annoyed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I play the lotto too
      Maybe not as much as you
      But you never know
      Could win at your show
      Even if I think that is rigged too
      Pffft the dVerse police have no clue

      Delete
  33. A buck to change your luck:) nice . I have to find the game room :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good luck
      They hide it until they find a sucker to lose a buck haha

      Delete
  34. first i read the poem, then i read the explanation and i got the sense of a lottery also. i like the last stanza and the flat wallet. that's a great image.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah after given a once more poke
      All one usualy ends up is broke

      Delete
  35. 'Oops I lost. Now, how did that happen?' I've never put a buck in a game machine, Pat. That must be the reason I still don't own a castle in Spain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well maybe you should try
      Then money could rain from the sky

      Delete