Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Might Lose Your Focus With A Little Hocus Pocus!

NEWSFLASH: Make a dash for your viewing pleasure here! You get to preview an upcoming book from my little rhyming rear.

Of course the cat isn't going to go all warlock on you. Pfft to that voodoo. Sorry if I offended a witch, don't make me itch. The cat will rift off the movie I suppose or a song however that goes. Or maybe I will use a spell. Aren't I just as confusing as hell?

I put a spell on your head,
Now you can't get out of bed.
Then when you do,
You will be brand new.

Might look like a pig,
Have a pink wig.
Snout of a hog,
Bark like a dog.

Wart on your toe.
Be in the know.
Memory lost,
Such a high cost.

You just never know,
What will grow,
What will be,
Or if you will even see.

For with my little words,
You could turn into birds.
At the drop of a hat,
Be eaten by a cat.

Or shot from the sky.
What a way to die.
Smell like a french fry.
Your throat will get dry.

Could lost a part.
Grow a second heart.
Fall for a tart.
Be hit with a dart.

Damn, that with sting.
Your ears could ring.
Throat could click,
Believe me that isn't slick.

Cry a river,
Pop your liver.
Appear on the moon,
With a dish and spoon.

Watch out for the cow,
He may cause an ow.
Unless that is you,
For a cow could come due.

Oh the power,
Enough to make one cower.
Fall from a tower,
Make a frog shower.

Could it go any lower?
You could be a glower.
That is right,
Day or night.

Glow all fine,
Like a radioactive stop sign.
Grow a triple chin.
Drown in Scrooge's money bin.

So stay in bed,
To avoid the dread.
For if you get out.
You may pout or shout.

At your new extra feature.
Making you a mythical creature.
On the five o'clock news.
15 minutes you can't lose.

From my little song,
Things could go very wrong.
So suck a lemon suck a lime,
You've been cursed through my rhyme.

Hmm the cat just had to go there on this so called hocus pocus day and its haunted affair. Don't worry about a thing unless your ears ring. For the cat would never wish such things about you. Well maybe just one or two. But surely not in mass, so you are all mostly safe from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

If I Had A Nickel For Every dVerse Pickle!

In One Week dVerse Will Be On The Back Burner With Another Earner!

Pickle could be taken many a way. I guess it all depends on what you want to say. Whether you are chowing down or stuck in some creepy backwater town. The pickle will arise and so away this tale flies.

For a nickel,
He bought a pickle.
It looked like a sickle.
He was not fickle.

It fell from his grasp.
He voice turned rasp.
Trying to clasp,
He gave a huge gasp.

Before him stood,
A thing in a hood.
Run he should.
But there he stood.

"Tickle My Sickle,
You dropped the pickle.
You look rather brickle.
Now you're in a pickle."

He had to run.
So around he spun.
But there was a gun.
Shooting pickles at him for fun.

"You are no match.
This is no booby hatch.
It's as real as this scratch.
You want me to detach?"

He screamed in pain.
Sounding like a train.
Down came the rain.
He thought he was insane.

"Pickle Demon doesn't like,
When pickles take a hike.
Your head will go on a pike.
For your pickle hunger strike."

He tried to explain.
To thwart Pickle Demon's campaign.
That due to a sprain.
The pickle he dropped like a candy cane.

"Do I look jolly?
Is there bells of holly?
Your head I will volley.
I will not bring you your dolly."

No matter the direction.
He suffered the pickle injection.
For his assumed rejection,
He was at an intersection.

"Come with me,
Or be a sight to see.
The choice is up to thee,
Choose wisely."

He decided to stay.
The Pickle Demon gave him the okay.
Then he trotted off the other way.
Glad he survived the day.

"And so it goes,
That for your pickle woes,
From your head to your toes,
You'll suffer for what you chose."

He turned back to find,
He was no longer in a bind.
The Pickle Demon was unkind,
But at least he left him behind.

He strolled into town.
Trying not to frown.
Thinking he had won a crown.
As all stared him down.

Drool fell from their lips,
Some even did flips.
They swung their hips,
Each circling their finger tips.

In a flash,
They made a mad dash.
Not blinking an eyelash.
Soon on him like a bad rash.

On that night,
A pickle had a plight.
Try as he might,
His soul took flight.

"Whether spending a dime or nickel,
Don't drop the pickle.
Because I won't be fickle.
Care to tickle my sickle?"

Was that dVerse enough for you? Oh what one word can do. The cat just had that pop into his head as he wrote and so this tale took note. Now you know, especially around Halloween, not to be seen anywhere near a pickle for the Pickle Demon is not fickle. He is rather crass and will never get my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall

Monday, October 29, 2012

Just In Case I Will Help You Cover Your Face!

So Halloween is close and you may want to go out dressed as a mouse. But that is so last year. It is time to kick things into gear. The cat thought he would help one and all here at his hall, before it is too late. These ones may be a hit or bring you some hate. You may get slapped to but that is on you.

First up is golden guy.
He will make your spirits fly.
Seducing girl or guy.
Might also blind you in each eye.

Or you can go as a dick.
That would be rather slick.
Just give the towel a flick.
What better way to be a prick?

You could be all eyes.
With your halloween disguise.
But a word to the wise,
Don't give off those honking cries.

Give a certain moan,
As you become an ice cream cone.
Then hold the phone,
You may get licked all alone.

It's Beer Guy on the scene.
He will make you mean.
Or make you obscene,
At least it comes in a fancy canteen.

Need to blow your knows?
Is it running like a hose?
Those germs causing you woes?
Some how I don't think any apply from the pose.

Along comes the plastic.
Things may get drastic.
Don't they look fantastic?
Too bad their only held on with an elastic.

Would you let to pet?
Come now, don't fret.
Things are all set.
Your want to touch is a safe bet.

Plug it in, plug it in.
Go for the win.
It's not a sin.
To plug it in, plug it in.

Or just cover your head.
Pretend like you are dead.
Mount yourself to the wall,
Giving a ghoulish call.

The cat just wanted to help, I hope I made you yelp. For with these you can never go astray and you may just have one lucky day. But of course if you get slapped upside the head. Forget everything I said. Hopefully I helped out each lad and lass and they plug it in, plug it in like the things from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Bragging About Myself At My Shelf!

So dVerse wants the cat to self reflect or something like that. A portrait you say? Already had that done at my bay. Every header stars me, which I'm sure you can see. But you want words to them too? I guess I can talk about me to all of you.

I will take no crap,
Let me nap.
Go photo some other chap.
Fine, I will take the lap.

Meow, I'm grand,
Meow, I own my land.
Chirp, that wasn't a bird.
Meow, I'm absurd.

The cupboard I'll plunder.
I'll ignore thunder.
But a simple sound,
Makes me run round and round.

Not afraid to flash.
Pat and I may clash.
For the whole bed is mine.
Lots of room is needed for this feline.

Some might call that greed.
I just call it need.
Or my divine right,
Each and every night.

I purr up a storm,
Meow like the norm,
Leaving Pat with a space,
Big enough for his face.

I can share,
With Cassie at my lair.
The only cat I like,
The rest can take a hike.

At least that is a little bit,
Others I take a hissy fit.
I cheer her up too,
When she is blue.

Rescue her when need be.
Even share a flea.
I'll help bury her waste.
Even give her ears a taste.

Greedy, loyal, funny too.
Meowing, chirping when I chew.
Always ready to attack.
Until someone actually comes to my shack.

Then it's off to the races.
They have scary faces.
The cupboards are my place,
So I take off at a great pace.

Agile, clutsy, messy as well.
Nosey, helpful, watchful of where I dwell.
Impatient, patient, up for a task.
Glutton, destructive and will never ask.

The cat is a friend,
That enjoys driving one around the bend.
Now can't you see I've had it?
I have to go bury some shit.

There you go all done at my show. I like to brag and I meow along with the odd tail wag. Cat's can do it too we just choose when the tail wag comes due. But no matter what I meow all day long at my hut. I hiss and growl sometimes though, especially when heading to that other show. Now little old me has come to pass. I just need to mention I am a little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Take The Pen And Stab The Old Hen!

Pat sooooo has to restrain himself at his work shore when stupid ass Flappy is in store. Yes, she is dumber than a donkey too. She just has no friggin clue. How she even functions in life is beyond me. She certainly swings from the annoying tree.

"I have some dates to book, but where is my pen. My stuff is packed too, do you have any paper?"

Yeah, because I just so happen to carry paper around with me while trying to get your large ass to flee. Just email them in Pat said, but that seemed to go over her head.

"My assist isn't in. I need to find a pen, are you sure you don't have any paper? What about a pen? Do you have a pen?"

What a moron is all I can say. I have to keep the sharp objects away. Or I might stab her in the face. So no I don't have a pen for you to embrace. And an assist too? MY GOD, that person has to be hard up or really really desperate and/or dumb with no clue. First I ever heard of that. Maybe one day I'll theorize at my mat.

"I really need a pen. There has to be a pen. What could I write on? There has to be something here to write on. Are you sure you don't have a pen? What about paper? Know where there is paper?"

How many damn times does she need to hear it? Someone should throw her in some deep dark pit. She needed to get her ass out the door. This nut jub has to take the cake and win some kind of dumbness title of lore.

"Here is a pen. I found a pen. The pen was here. See, here is a pen."

Like she won the damn lottery or she set the poor imprisoned pen free. Whoopdi friggin doo. This nimrod has no clue.

"Now for paper. I could write on this but I need that. That is no good. I need paper. Here is paper. No, that isn't good paper."

The dunce went on like that for a while as Pat muttered something vile. Then she finally found something to write and went on more into the night.

"I want this date and this one and this one."

She booked them and at the same time went over them three friggin times with her chime. Then she did it once more, flipping through the pages of her scheduler thingy, becoming quite the bore.

"Did you get that? Do you need me to repeat it? I could email it to you if you wish?"

That is when Pat had enough and did not care no more for her stupid ass fluff. If the dumbass wanted to email it to me then she could have done so and left me be. Got her fat ass out the door and left my work shore. But oh no had to let all that nonsense flow.

Anyway, Pat told her to take her crap and go. Boy, did her eyes grow. He just opened the door and pointed out. She muttered something and gave a pout. But hey it works for dogs so Pat gave it a try. Maybe she will finally leave now without annoying the poor guy. Doubtful with this stupid lass. She really even annoys the cat's little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 26, 2012

The Crazies Open The Gate For Round Eight!

So back once more at my shore is the search engine chime for those who search out my rhyme. Or at least find it. Through their oh so clever searching wit. Still no idea who would type this crap. Must be one crazy lass or chap. But before we get there it is clear someone that comes to my lair, is trying to screw with the cat. I'll flush out the dirty rat.

"can a mime make a rhyme on rhyme time 2
can a mime make a rhyme on rhymtime 2
can a mime make a rhyme sure a mime can make a rhyme but who
can a mime make a rhyme on twitter"

And it wasn't just searched for once by this little dunce. It was searched for time and time again bringing them to my den. But I won't get bitter for a mime can't rhyme on Twitter. But at least they can spell making you below them in the well. So mimes beat you! Take that from my zoo. Worse than a mime, that is such a crime.

"human breeding"

Hmmm you don't know how that is done? I'd hate to see what comes up in google images for that one.

"he can't even rhyme even if you give him the time i find it a crime he might as"

How much you wanna bet that mime is what ends this little fret?

"what to do when your crush is ignoring you when you say bye to them"

Well you could punch them in the head. Of course that could cause dread and they may sue. Better off finding a crush that is new.

"rosie nun"

Hmm I guess all have a fetish or ten. This one might send you to Hell's den.

"backpack of pain pig"

A pig has a backpack of pain? That must surely make you pop a vein.

"do bald men get dandruff witty responses"

No, they just give more face for all to embrace. Or would that be head? Forget what I said.

"the swiss family robinson or adventures in a desert island"

The first is my choice, now you can rejoice.

"a rhyming poem about issue with a tissue"

There was an issue
With my tissue
It turned green
After that scene.
Not even pokadot.
Find another place to blow your snot.

"kiss my ass rhyme"

You are crass,
Full of gas,
You have no class,
Are a hot air mass,
So my dear lass,
In case you missed what came to pass,
I'll bend over and you can kiss my ass.

"five big dump trucks rhyme"

Five big dump trucks,
All driven by Chucks.
One dump truck clucks,
The second carries ducks.
The third hockey pucks,
The forth sorta sucks.
But the fifth gives a ride,
In its back so wide.
And with a little luck,
No gas you'll suck.

"difference between spider bite and mosquito bite"

How the hell am I supposed to know? Does this look like the Doogie Howser show? Both itch like a bitch.

"hot dog stuck in nose"

Wow that must cause strife. Be careful with that sharp knife.

"drunk pussy"

I hope you mean a cat, either way you are a nut, so go bug a rat.

"bouncing balls"

Do I even wanna know? Please never ever show.

"wet boobies"

Well at least you like them clean. That is fine with the ocd at my scene.

"monster under the bridge in seattle when he was real"

Did the poor troll want you to pay a toll? I bet you were to cheap so he made you weep. Why Seattle though? Doesn't it rain all the time at that show?

"superhero panties"

It's not just the guys that want superhero underwear. In this round the women are looking for them too at my lair. Of course it could be a guy, but we don't want to give going there a try.

"keep walking you didn't see nothing cat"

I saw everything. So don't tell me what to do at my wing. If I want to tell about your love affiar with a sheep. I will do so, creep!

And the winner of the nuts this time is guilty of a crime. Of course in some states it is allowed. So maybe he is quite proud. Don't you want to join in? It's only a little bit of a sin.

"guy humping sheep"

And you have the nuts lining up still. I guess they need their sheep humping thrill. Not sure how they find me. I guess it is all the craziness of my sea. At least there was no farts or poo crazy nut jobs this time. Guess it works avoiding such a chime. So round eight has come to pass and I'm sure it will not be the last one from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Glitch Of A Witch Part Six. The Beer Guys Do Tricks!

We figured it would be best to go around this candy fort. But some how our efforts were cut short. It seemed were were stuck thanks to the voodoo of some schmuck.

"Come on you godly mook, do something with your oh so great godly powers."

"Drazin does not do anything unless Drazin wants to."

"That is convenient you slime sucking, bottom feeding, demon."

We were all frozen in place and all we could do was yap about what could be the case. I was going to kill that witch. She would boil and I would not be as nice as Toto, making her scream at a higher pitch. But then came this weird cross voice. We all turned around, having no choice.

"You will all bow down before me. I am the candy king you see."

"He looks more like a queen."

"Drazin has to agree with you, fleabag."

"He or she looks more like a bad cross between that Austin Powers fatso and the cat's viking woman."

"Quiet, beasts! This is what happens when you have daily candy feasts."

It was WorqueenDan and of candy, he was clearly a fan. Where does he find pants to get up over that behind? Just look at those boobs too. He could sure show a playboy centerfold a thing or two. Although you would have to roll the thing a mile down the road to fit this huge he/she toad.

He waved his magic candy liquorice stick and then we all had to follow that dick. He took us into his castle with very little hassle and then brought the draw bridge up behind us all. He then walked us down his candy hall. Some bite marks were in them too. No wonder he is such a scary thing to view.

"Bryan, what do you get when you cross a king and a hooker?"

"I don't know, Brandon. A Royal Fling?"

"You weren't really supposed to know, that was a rhetorical question."

"No wonder no one votes for you."

The two of them were back once more with their same old encore. Each were still dripping sewage all over the place. They were even slapping each other in the face. I guess they were court jesters now. I think I even heard them meow.

"As you can see I already have two to entertain me. So you will be food for the seers below. Don't worry, they will start with the toe."

He waved his stick and the wall lost a brick. Then it lost two more and jelly bean men guards attended to his chore. They grabbed us all and took us below. The closer we got the more the whining continued to grow.

"Why me? Why do I have one eye. Why do I have to be blue? If I ever see that litter box playing cat again, I'm going too...You!"

"Great! Now Drazin has to go deaf too."

"Demons all around. By what magic is this, Merlin?"

We saw old one eye in a cell and her whining sure was not swell. That was easy to see in the next cell as Brian was hoping she would flee. He had his fingers in his ears but that did not stop his gawking gears.

"Mohawk man over there seems in distress. Do you think he is going to eat us?"

"Fleabag, Drazin thinks he's more happy to be staring us up and down. Rather strange, if you ask Drazin."

"Then that leaves this foul one eyed creature. You shall never take us down, blue demon."

"I'm a demon now? I can't handle this. Where is Anneeeeee!"

I wish I had some of those doggie stairs handy. Or some drugged up candy. Maybe if she started climbing steps or was knocked out. It would end her whining shout. She was giving me a migraine. That is when the wall opened up and out came a candy train. It was towing plenty of candy through and the jelly bean guards were distracted by its view.

Drazin elbowed one to the head while Miss Priss and I kicked one until it was squashed and dead. At least as dead as a candy guard can be. Pat just screamed and the other one decided to flee. This candy surely is not good nutrition, I think Pat thought he was a musician.

"I can hoot,
And give a toot toot.
You will not beat me.
I have my animals at the ready."

"Did she just say toot toot, as in she likes to fart?"

"Fleabag, Drazin thinks these rhyming nuts really are taking after you."

"Don't look at me like that Pat. Anneeeee!"

"I said toot as in a horn. You will wish you were never born."

Sherry was surely rather scary as she began to float in the air and turned into some zombied thing that was becoming less rare. She told her animal cracker crew to attack and let's just say they made a fine snack. Miss Priss and I made short work of each one. But she was not done.

"You ruined my zoo dream. That just makes me scream."

She went to scream off her head and then old one eye caused her dread. She joined in whining about Anne. Sherry surely was not a fan. Brian seemed to have had enough and he decided it was time to get rough. He gawked the room and noticed a broom. He picked up a piece of the animal cracker we left and threw it with quite the amount of heft. It knock the broom into his hand and through the bars he swept the zombie Sherry away from out land. Yep, he swept the broom back and forth her face and before long it was nothing but an empty space.

"Drazin will pay you a dollar if you do that to her too?"

"Don't even think about it, Brian. I want Anneeee! Cat, you caused all of this."

One eyed complained away as Drazin hopped on the train and rammed it into the cells on display. Brian and old one eye were free. Then Brian disappeared like the rest that decided to flee. Who knows why that is though. We will get to that soon enough I know. Right now it is time to make WorqueenDan cry. And yes, we were still stuck with old one eye.


Wow, a lot went on there and we were once again jailed, which is also becoming less rare. This candy land show has a lot of freaks. Those Beer Guys sure smelled like a couple of shit creeks. Maybe WorqueenDan wants to go on a diet and use their smell to try it. I hope we can shut up this one eyed lass as she and this whole place is annoying my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Pretend It's Real And Spin The Wheel!

 Category for this story is: PHRASE!
So go ahead and gaze.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _     _ _ _ _ _ _ _     _ _ _

It is time to make you think. After days of bringing your brain to the brink. I figure it is time you got some of that power back or at least prove you still have some IQ points left at your shack. So it's the rhyme time wheel of fortune show! Oh the things I can come up with on the go. So let's make a deal, whoops wrong one, I mean spin the wheel.

So you want an R.
There is one at my bar.
And on your first guess.
That is good I will confess.

But calling for a T,
Does not get you any.
At least you are one for two.
So far at my zoo.

Swearing are you now?
Well don't have a cow.
For F is there once.
I guess you aren't such a dunce.

W is what you want?
Well let the letter flaunt.
For you have another one.
But one is all the W's that are spun.

So a W an F and an R.
Boy, you've gotten far.
One of each as well.
I just repeated it so your mind remains swell.

You want to buy an A?
Let me send you the address to my bay.
Sadly though there are none.
But sending me money is fun.

Good golly miss molly.
Break out the holly.
You got the G,
Which there are two to see.

Don't damn me to hell,
There is no L.
Can I help it if you are wrong?
You know you are taking really long.

But yes there is an H there.
I guess hell made you aware.
Once more there is only one.
Isn't this such fun.

Are you moaning at your show?
You want to buy an O.

You are in luck.
For your mighty fine buck.
You get four.
Have you guessed the phrase yet on tour?

You are cheating!
But however fleeting,
I will give you a break.
For I know your mind is drowning in a lake.

Call the NYPD,
For of those there are three,
That are there to see.
Twice for the letter D.

Only one for the P and N,
Meaning there is no Y at my den.
Aren't I so helpful to you,
Even after all you do?

Nope, no B,
Sadly there is no C.
You won't find a K,
And Q doesn't see the light of day.

You want to poke me in the eye?
Come and give it a try.
I will make you fry,
Before you can ever count that high.

For there are three,
I's up there at my sea.
And now you have them all.
To decipher the phrase at my hall.

Can you do it?
Or does your IQ take a hit?
I guess we will see.
Who is the first to decipher it, if any.

Isn't this game fun? All in a rhyme it was spun. But I will give you a run down fast because I know you might already forget the letter cast. In the order you guessed too just for you. RFWGGHOOOODDPNIII. It might looking daunting and maybe even haunting. But the phrase has surely come to pass time and time again from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

A dVerse Matter Sorta From A Mad Hatter!

In Two Weeks dVerse Will Be Taken Over And Not By A Butt Sniffing Rover!

The cat will go all out there today with my rhyming dVerse display. Since when is that new. A thought I know was thought by you. A thought thought. That must make you suffer brain rot. So pull up a cot or your faded pot. Just don't call the kettle black, you may give it a heart attack.

That car you saw,
Jimbo's character flaw.
The leaf you stepped on.
The dog dumping on your lawn.

The crazy two eyed toad.
The pothole in the road.
Stubbing your poor toe,
Making you kind of slow.

The swear you yell.
Damning something to hell.
The mascot around the block.
The line drawn with chalk.

The way you gawk.
Some old lady's squawk.
The parrot who it offends.
The signal it sends.

Your next payday.
The ad on display.
The scratch on your leg.
The round hole stuffed with a square peg.

The size of your shoe.
The sky so blue.
Or whatever color it is,
With that whole science biz.

The smog at your sea.
The bite from a flea.
The ugly arse mime.
This little old rhyme.

Stuffed elephants that dance.
Rats that learn to prance.
Asking to repeat,
Unable to admit defeat.

The bad chicken you ate.
From a toxic plate.
Your last date,
The crummy interest rate.

Tying your shoe.
Playing a game of Clue.
The butler always did it.
But that's another fit.

The crap you just thought.
Which was probably a whole lot.
For what I brought about.
From this little shout.

Was to simply show.
That two little words glow.
No matter the task,
Or whatever you ask.

No matter the thrill,
Or a visit to the landfill.
Whether grand or more of the norm,
It simply all matters in some form.

There we go that was the wisdom today from my show. I'm here all week. But if you want more wisdom you may be up the creek. Simply put it all matters no matter what. For one little thing can delay or prevent something at your hut. Oh you stubbed your toe now you are two minutes too slow. Missed being hit by a bus because of poor drunk Gus. Now that is all today class from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Glitch Of A Witch Part Five Has Come To My Hive!

"You realize you look like a bad Scooby Doo monster, right?"

Miss Priss kicked sugar in their zombified faces and we were once more off to the races. Pat plucked a candy cane from the nearby grass and start swatting at the zombified floating mass. Drazin just grunted and was on his way. It was clear he was not scared of their ugly display. I simply started to dig a big hole with no real clear goal. Just something inside me told me to dig and so I did until the hole was really big.

"Fleabag, get over here and help."

"I thought a god doesn't need help? But the mook is right, help!"

"These demons are no match for me."

I wanted to help them out and they were right to shout. But I just could not stop digging this hole, something told me it was my role.

"I was with Eve,
Now you will grieve.
For Adam does not lose.
You will take a death cruise."

"Great! Another third person talking mook."

"Feel the Zen,
In your den.
Mama will help you.
I'll turn you black and blue."

"Sorry, the one eyed demon already did that. No redundancy allowed."

"Poke the rock,
Will put you in shock.
For I and this flock,
Will chop off your..."

"The cat has already been snip snipped. I don't need to be double dipped.'

It was hard not to chime in on that one. I mean I was sweating under this candy sun. A cat can sweat? Sure can, you bet. Then I hit a head and out popped a person who once caused me dread. It was Glory Dear. The one who stuffed food in my little rhyming rear. She looked rather ticked off and began to scoff.

"Oh dear you are rude.
You spit out my food.
For this you will fry.
My pot and pan will make you die."

"So we've got a poking rock, some mama with zen, just plain Adam and a psycho baker. Now all we need is a candle stick maker. Damn it, Drazin is rhyming like that damn fleabag."

Why in the hell would I dig for her? She just ruffled my fur. But she was as normal looking as could be. So I climbed up the nearest tree. Then I jumped on Glory Dear's head, causing her much dread. She swatting and turned around, making quite the "oh dear" sound. I played her like a puppet on a string and made her pot and pan began to fling, she knocked out a zombified floating nut. Damn, I am a clever little rhyming butt.

Drazin and Pat both took an arm and caused one quite the amount of harm. The ripped her arms clean off and made poor Zen scoff. To say she was beat into my hole might disturb a clean soul. So I will just say she was buried under the sugar beach. But by the things she said, she really needed her mouth washed out with bleach.

Miss Priss acted quite proud as he lured the poking rock from the crowd. She then poked the poking rock with a rock. That came as such a shock. Then she rolled a big gum drop down a hill and the poking rock better have filled out her will. Killed by a gum drop, that would be hard to top.

Just plain Adam was still knocked out from Glory Dear and so we kicked things into gear. Meaning I tripped Glory Dear when such got nearby and let's just say her pan now had a little stir fry. It had one mushy zombified head in it. She did not like that one bit.

"Dears, you don't mess with my pot and pan. I'm going to make you dears pay, starting with that bald headed man."

"Does everyone have to rhyme? Drazin is going to end this."

Glory Dear raised her pot and Drazin came at her rather hot. He went to take a swing and poof, Glory Dear disappeared before her pot could fling. This was getting weird to all. For if they were not some zombified floating freak and truly off the wall. Then they just disappeared from view. Except for maybe that Beer Shower crew.

It was time we made our way back to that Candy Hall of Fame and ended Thinkingcap's game. She could take her god myth and shove it with some sugar sand. For we would make it back to our land. Then I would fry that witch or at least give her some fleas to make her itch. So Drazin lead the way, stomping and muttering in his usual third person display. Pat thought he was a pirate of some sort and Miss Priss was the first to notice the candy fort. Now what were we in for? Some nutcracker lore? That sounded bad in every way. This was beginning to be a very long day.


From one thing to another for the cat and the crazy crew. What has gotten into all of you? You just disappear like the breeze. Do I make you sneeze? Or you turn out to be some crazy zombified floating witch thing. I think the dong came before the ding. But the cat will find out what has come to pass. For no one can fool my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Hot To Trot With No Plot!

So all life is a stage and dVerse wants that statement to be all the rage. But you know the cat has no plot, he simply goes on about a whole friggin lot. Maybe the absence of a plot is a plot? Did you just suffer brain rot? As far as the players go, those you may or may not know. Of course under the whose who above they can be found if push comes to shove.

Now on a stage the stages of life jump from the page. Or maybe all is staged? Life is merely caged? Anyway, time for the display. We stage a staging for each stage. Did that throw you for a rage?

Stage #1 - The Nuts Have Fun

"Gung, how did we get here? I bet it was that rhyming rear?
"I guess we will just go with the flow, huh, Ho?"

I was at the ready,
The screaming came steady.
But with my trusty catcher's glove,
I caught it when the doctor yelled "shove"

It drooled for a while,
And hogged the TV dial.
Not to mention the goop,
I think they call it poop.

Now what I do all day,
Is watch Big Bird on display,
I swear if one more wiggle
Let's his junk jiggle,
I'm going to off myself,
Or at least go homicidal on a Gerber elf.

"Ho, did you really say poop?"
"Gung, they are still young and shit would throw them for a loop."

Stage #2 - From The Third Person Yapping Ding Dong Without Any Clue

"Fleabags, Drazin has better things to do."

There is wonder in their eyes,
Along with more cries.
Hunger seems to linger,
They may still suck their finger.

Cartoon underwear are the best.
ABC's are the hardest test.
At recess they fight over a cheesy.
Boy, they have it easy.

Until they rest their head.
Fearing the monster under the bed.
But all they find,
Is Elmo's naked behind.

"There, Drazin is done. Drazin is not amused, fleabags."

Stage #3 - Has To Be Done By Little Old Me

Now comes the fun,
When they hate everyone.
Things start to grow,
The opposite sex I don't even want to know.

Their stomach becomes a canyon,
They always need a companion.
Yapping on the phone,
Like a silly drone.

Facebook, Twitter, and all the crap,
Are readily on tap.
I'm surprised anyone is surviving,
Because now they are driving.

Stage #4 - Riot Man Takes The Tour

Bring on the debt,
Bring on the sweat.
Stuck in real life,
Just before the wife.

Bring on the liquor,
Never been sicker.
Bring on the sex,
And multiple subjects.

Bring on the bills,
Be happy there are no need yet for blue pills.
Bring on the notion,
That life's in constant motion.

Stage #5 - The Beyonder, Because He's Old And Still Alive

Now comes the house.
Set traps for a mouse.
Round and round we go,
As you start to show.

Out pops one,
But you aren't done.
Out pops two,
Loading you with goo.

A wrap around from you,
Is what comes due.
No, that's not a glitch,
Karma can be a bitch.

Stage #6 - Miss Priss Get In Her Licks

Kids are crazy,
Eye sight is hazy.
Roof is leaking,
Bones have started creaking.

Doctors probe your ass.
Lots of food gives you gas.
Job becomes mundane,
You have gone insane.

Wait! The kids are out.
Can go fish for trout.
Plus walk around naked once more,
Even though things sag now at your shore.

Stage #7 - One Step To  Heaven (Or Hell But We Won't Dwell)

Pills lined in a row,
Your memory is starting to go
Wishing for an afro,
As bald is all that will show.

Need a walking cane,
License is gone so have to use the train.
Have to get up all night to piddle,
Your bones creak like a fiddle.

Need more fiber in your diet.
No longer can you deep fry it.
But at least you can sit back, do nothing and spit.
I'm too old for this shit.

So there we go all took the stage for life's show. Or at least some. I didn't want to bring those Oompa Loompa's back with their annoying hum. Now wasn't that grand? A long one in my land. I didn't even have to whine like old one eye. That will make her cry. Now life has come to pass and has be staged up by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

No Thrill From The Pill!

Just have to brag a bit first before my burst.

Boo and The Backyard Zoo for children's books on Amazon, as of this writing at 10:50pm, has moved all the way up to #2.

The cat has never had to take one and Pat knows I would surely run. But Miss Priss sure does have to suck them back with her ailments at our shack. Of course she does not like the pill. Although she sure gets her fill. Taking them quite fine now though as in her tube the food still has to flow. I guess the cat will speak for her, as they don't make her purr.

Pat, go away.
I do not want a pill today.
Don't give me attitude,
Or I will spit on your food.

I have a pringle can of you know what.
From the cat's little rhyming butt.
He is useless to me most days,
But his pringle can fetish pays.

I hate you.
For the pill that came due.
Now my eye is on you.
Another will not ensue.

Damn! You found me here.
The curtain was pulled and wasn't clear.
How did you know where I was?
I blame the cat and his little rhyming buzz.

You can't see me.
Damn it! I'll give you a flea.
Let me be.
Stuff your pill popping spree.

I'm still watching you.
My eyes are on you like glue.
Plus this tower is too tall.
To get me you'll have to climb the wall.

Pffft I will not fall for your red dot.
It is far too hot.
Come near and I'll go back in.
You will never win.

Even bothering me when I shit.
That is it.
Your food will be covered in spit.
Or I'll just give it to the rhyming nitwit.

I am not happy at all.
You found me in the hall.
This closet is mine,
Go away and bug some other feline.

If only Cassie was like little old me,
With her hiding ability.
See, you don't even know I'm there.
Think sink, think sink, and all are completely unaware.

Cassie has surely found every spot to try and stop Pat, the pill popping robot. But she still gets caught. You can't even see one black dot. For I can hide the best. Better than all the rest. What? My glowing eyes give me away. Pfft that isn't me in that display. You won't know I'm there unless I pass gas. That will surely give away my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Take A Scoop Of Cyclops Soup!

This is a rare event. One that I had to fight tooth and claw to get under my tent. Those pesky buggers at the SPCA or some other acronym they shouted my way, tried to stop this post. But no one can stop this rhyming host. The cat had to tell all, especially with the holidays coming up at your hall, how to make cyclops soup. WorqueenDan started this little loop. Turtle soup may be great but cyclops soup is a tastier fate. But those cyclops are so rare. If you aren't Xena, it may be hard to find one for your lair.

Although never fear,
Thanks to my little rhyming rear.
You will know what to do,
Should a cyclops come into your view.

Grab it by the neck.
Give its eye a peck.
Then for good measure,
Or some added pleasure,

Give it an extra poke.
When the cyclops starts to choke,
Pour some salt,
Then open a single malt.

It will croak,
Look here is a bloke,
I will interrupt this rhyme,
To show you eating cyclops soup is not a crime.

Now I'm not sure about those two,
A french guy and one who is blue?
And their cyclops looks rather smoked.
Its eye wasn't even poked.

This is clearly a fail.
Those two will go to jail.
But it looks like a female one,
Is next under their sun.

Maybe a certain one eye,
Might also fry.
Avoid those french,
And watch out for a wrench.

Oh yes, cyclops soup.
Those two threw me for a loop.
Simply bake at 500 degrees,
Then eat whenever you please.

Nothing to it at all.
Glad I could help at my hall.
Now you can have a tasty meal,
That once the kill is dead, isn't much of an ordeal.

Who wants turkey when you can have cyclops soup? It might even make you jump up and slamdunk in a basketball hoop. Or give you one eye as well. Then that could be hell. For you will get eaten too. Oh what those cyclops people can do. Old one eye better not give too much sass. She may end up fried by those two, who have nothing to do with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Glitch Of A Witch Part Four Is Taking The Tour!

There was nothing we could do. We were going to get eaten by this big mouthed pile of brown goo. I sure hope it was all stale candy and not something else that would not smell at all dandy. Pat and Drazin tried to fight the stream, paddling backwards like a team. I even helped as water does not cause me fear. Of course Miss Priss kept clear, as she is too prissy to get wet. But it was a fail and we were gobbled up into this stale candy things net.

"Make your two dollar contact lenses glow, godly mook."

"Fleabag, when Drazin gets out of this Drazin is going to drown you."

"We don't have all day, demon."

"Drazin will drown you first."

Drazin finally stopped bickering and his red glowing eyes started flickering. Brown sludge dripped down from the insides of this thing and we floated to what I guess was the stomach, hearing a familiar ring.

"This is insane. Have you brought me my shampoo? This brown crud is really drying out my hair."

"Not this crazy loon again. Drazin should never have gotten out of bed."

There was Blabber, sitting on a brown sludge isle. The thing looked rather vile. But it was the only physical presence in his stomach at all, besides of course us and Blabber with her shampoo call.

"Why did you break out Anne, Elsie and those Beer Guys and not meeeeee?"

"Someone is whining, may I suggest you pop a pill?"

"Great, the nut thinks he's a doctor now and this one is screaming like a little two year old. Drazin has to get out of here."

Drazin made his eyes glow every which way and there seemed to be no exit on display. But what goes in has to come out. If this stale candy monster thing was anything like a human, cat or trout. Yet we could not see a single way. Thus it seemed we were trapped and here to stay.

"Can't you call your godly friends and get us out of here?"

"Now the fleabag wants Drazin's help. Drazin has no friends, the Great God Drazin is all Drazin needs."

"Right! Sorry I asked. But at least you got to repeat your name fifty times, that has to make you happy."

"Drazin will drown you right now, fleabag. You and your crazy human."

I noticed the sludge stomach wall shaking as Drazin's voice came quaking. It seemed more sludge fell from it the more he took to his third person wailing fit. But before I could say anything Pat had to get his ten cents worth in. That many voices in one's head has to be a sin.

"If A is the equivalent to B and that mirror was scene with you in it, then how precisly are you here in this creatures stomach?"

"You're asking me? All I know is there was no flea on my knee this time and I want my shampoo."

If I had to hear Blabber whine about her shampoo once more. I was going to start shopping at the crazy store. So I had to put an end to this and started to give off a little bit of rhyming bliss.

"Stick you shampoo,
Up your gazoo.
Whether you need thirty or two.
The fact remains true.

You want a bag of fleas?
I'll have them bite up your knees.
Take your Drazin this and Drazin that,
And go chow down on a rat.

You with the voices in your head.
That clutter must cause dread.
And yes you feed me,
But if you don't shut up I'll help Drazin drown you in the sea.

And Miss Priss,
You may think you are bliss.
But I'll slap that smirk,
If you don't help us and do some work."

After this little rhyming rant they all gave off some silly chant. I really pissed each off and they continued to scoff. This just made the stomach walls drip that much more and before long I could see the shore. Spots became clear and the plan from my little rhyming rear had surely worked. Finally up everyones ears perked. Then all of a sudden the stale sludge candy monster thing exploded all around. Let's just say we were drenched in his stale crap but could see the ground.

"Free, free. What the? Oh my God, I just want some sham..."

Blabber disappeared from view. I guess she was not as free as she thought and why? I had no clue. The four of us shrugged it off and found we were at a beach. It truly reminded us of that Gawker Island thing where those glowy eyed freaks came to preach. Thankfully nothing like that came due and we cleaned ourselves of all this rotten goo.

"Drazin will let this one go, fleabag. But only because it was Drazin that saved us all. You know Drazin is truly a god."

"Please! You had no idea what was going on, godly mook."

"Now demon, it is time you pay for such blasphemy."

Damn! I spoke way too soon. For out came some zombified freaks, each holding a candy spoon. The beach was actually brown sugar as well, I thought just in case we die I would ring that bell. A whole group of them surrounded us on the sugar beach. Saying Thinkingcap sent them to stop our continued breach. They were just as white haired and floaty as the other two that we gave a view. And yes they reminded us of some of the blogland crew. That is when from their lips drooling began to spew. Do I look like a tasty treat? Maybe it is Drazin they want to eat? Either way we prepared to fight without so much as a rock to use as a weapon in sight.


Well at least we got out of the sludge monsters gut. I would not want such a place to be my new hut. But what the heck is going on? Why are blogland crazies attacking us on a sugar lawn? What happened to those like old one eye and blabber? If she mentions shampoo once more Drazin may stab her. I guess we shall see what comes to pass when part five is shown by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Judging From Your Face You Have A Rotten Shoe Lace!

So the cat heard last year that pumpkin faces could cause fear. Judging from their face you could tell a human's sole at their place. That is rather weird I must say. Why would you want to know a person's sole anyway? Oops, that is soul I suppose. That makes more sense then those big clackity shoes of hoes. Oops once more. I didn't mean to offend at my shore. You have to make a buck, plus we all like a good ummm errr duck.

Down the street we go,
With pumpkins to and fro.
Little do you know,
You are giving me a show.

The big one with eyes,
Can tell no lies.
It means you're a saint,
That loves pink paint.

The one with jagged teeth,
Having no candle beneath,
Means you are dark,
And startled by a dog bark.

So many to see.
So many to view.
That one in a tree,
Looks brand spankin' new.

It means your tall,
With your soul on the wall.
It all hangs out.
You don't like to shout.

The plastic one,
Means all should run.
For you are lazy,
And a tad crazy.

The patch in your yard.
Means you work hard.
How does your garden grow?
That only you know.

The one with none,
Means you are done.
Or just really cheap,
And a bit of a creep.

Wow, what you tell.
From a simple mask.
Your soul you sell,
Now back on task.

The ones in the ditch,
Means you have a bad itch.
You crave much more.
Or are a pumpkin whore.

The pile in the back,
Hidden behind your shack.
With one on display,
Means you perfect everything at your bay.

A little too much if you ask me,
But I'll let you be.
As the one the size of a bus,
Means you like to cuss.

And are hard at work,
Being an egotistical jerk.
Looking for fame,
Or at least some claim.

Oh what pumpkins tell.
With each and every face.
So before you ring the bell.
Be sure to know whether or not you need mace.

Wow, I guess they were right. Pumpkins do tell a souls plight. The cat is really good at this thing. Maybe I should charge by the hour at my wing. The pumpkin soul whispering cat. Has a certain ring to that. But so does what gives off gas. So I will stick with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

A dVerse Narration Of An Altercation!

Brian was oh so mean and would not let the cat into the dVerse scene. He said it was for the high class this week and the cat was just up the creek. So I figured I would show him or at least give his mohawk a trim. That would get me in. I pulled out the big words for the win.

Don't stand in deliberation.
Pretending to use your imagination.
I will make you suffer humilation.
Through a bit of manipulation.

Purification or rectification.
The choice is your specification.
I will not bow to unionization.
Instead I'll sue for victimization.

This is no exaggeration?
I call for an investigation.
For your elimination.
And an ass inoculation.

The later is for gratification.
Open to interpretation.
With a little modification.
It could suffer multiplication.

That could lead to irradiation.
Or some other intoxication.
Or just some gasification.
Do you need some edification?

Why is this a one sided communication?
You are asking for annilihation.
That movie should get no accreditation.
Back to your cooperation.

Should I use abbreviations?
Or some visualizations?
Pfft screw such solicitation.
The cat has way more sophistication.

But you may need some recuperation.
For leaving me out in this precipitation.
I have representation.
For all my valuable fertilization.

I could call for an evacuation.
With a little coordination.
Care to change my classification?
You are becoming quite the aggravation.

Standing with such neutralization.
Like some ornamentation.
Are you an alien manifestation?
Or suffering from inhabitation?

Are they going for mummification?
Time for some obliteration.
I say that with capitalization.
You will suffer my electrafication.

Watch out for detoxification.
That is a bad visualization.
I now end your monopolization,
And this communication.

Still the same illustration?
Not a single fluctuation.
Guarding your dVerse federation.
Willing to go through mitigation.

So starts my operation.
With a little innovation.
I will enter your dVerse station.
Look! It's a three headed dalmation!

I ran by Brian and he did not even twitch. Not even with the fleas I gave him to make him itch. I gave him a nudge with my head and he fell over umm dead? No, I guess not. Boy, is dVerse all hot to trot. I guess the fame went to his head for Brian is not dead. He made up a cardboard cutout of himself over at the dVerse self. So I guess the cat was having a conversation all alone. Oh well, I didn't like that cutout's tone. Brian, next time hide your cutout and stop its sass or I'll use it to wipe my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Glitch Of A Witch Part Three With Nuts Galore To See!

Drazin wasted no time. He was not about to let Thinkingcap turn him to grime. So he stepped on her tail and she gave a great big wail. Miss Priss kicked her in the knee and I got the other one, causing her no glee. Did she really think she could rhyme like me and get away with it at my sea? Pat tried to shoot her with his finger and all old one eye did was play with her one eye and linger. The Beer Guys just discussed meaningless crap as Thinkingcap began to flap.

"This is it my former friends.
This is surely where it ends.
The curse I will place on all of you,
Will leave you feeling rather blue."

When Thinkingcap finished her rhyme Irish Air, who was too busy consoling old one eye, let out a blare. She jumped back as old one eye's looks even caused her flack. She was now one eye and blue. Wow, I bet many steps are going to have to come due.

"Next I will..."

"I'm going to make you eat that bloody hat."

"Drazin has to deal with the Irish again. Drazin has no luck."

"Come one buckaroo, it's almost high noon and I need some killing."

"Drazin takes that back, Drazin will take the Irish over that nut any day."

"Bryan, if he has all those voices in his head then that means he can have multiple votes."

"I saw him first, Brandon. You can have the blue cyclops, at least your half a vote can be a rare one."

"Drazin is surrounded by morons."

"Yeah, godly mook. I think the short bus is even too full for you at the moment."

"Would you eejits shut up and think of something already."

"I'm blue! Annnnneeee."

Old one eye sure can whine, she was hurting the ears of this feline. I guess she was blue. Sorry, I just had to. The Beer Guys noticed a hole in one of the broken mirror plots and ran off like a couple of two year old tots. It was not a bad idea though but Thinkingcap blocked it with some type of weird glow.

Drazin and Irish Air yanked her either way, one with her tail and the other with the hair her head had on display. I mule kicked her in the gut and Pat poked her with the finger of I am guessing King Tut. Miss Priss scratched at her face and some magic light things were flying all over the place.

"Let's see how you do,
When you are few.
You will rule the day,
You entered my trophy display."

"Shouldn't it be rue the day?"

"Leave it to the nut to know that."

"Cat, I'm not through with you. Tell me what you did."

"Hmph, eejits."

With Irish Air's finale mutter we all got caught up in some magic light clutter. Then poof away we went. I think we got sucked down some vent. Once more we were four in this candy land tour. At least I did not have to listen to old one eye whine and Irish Air curse this feline. But oh the dread, these two were hard on the head.

"Does this make us ninja turtles, Brandon?"

"I call dibs on the top bunk at the lair."

"The lair, that sounds so ominous, right?"

"It could be anything. That is where will will cook up our Gummi Bear juice."

Those two kept playing around in their sewer shower. I guess they thought they had gained some mutant power. If only they had a beer then they could really give their name a cheer. We snuck by not wanting them to follow. Oh, how I hated this sewer wallow. There was no candy down here, just plenty of unspeakable things I fear.

"Fallen from grace have we? Don't worry, Heaven will help you back to the light."

In came Heaven on some long boat and away we began to float. Those Beer Guys saw us though but were having to much fun with their new sewer show.

"Hey Bryan, I guess they give new meaning to up shit creek."

"Keep swearing, Brandon. My voters will see my wholesome ninja turtle image and frown upon you."

Thankfully we floated out of hearing distance and our ears were safe. I think they were even starting to chafe. But it was not long before Heaven started to act like a ding dong.

"You fools have found,
My merry go round.
Suffer this plight,
Never again to see the light.
Oh and have a happy day,
That I just had to say."

She laughed like some hyena out of the Lion King and let her hands fling. She too floated in the air and now had pitch white hair. Yes, she also had the zombie face. But I did not care as the water was picking up at a steady pace.

"Really? We are going The River Wild? Hasn't this been done to death?"

"Drazin doesn't think so."

"Hmm, well that is new."

"Do something, Godly mook. It seems to have your brain cell level, maybe you can relate."

"Drazin still has time for some slippers, fleabag."

I guess Drazin needs a new watch or something. For this was going to sting. We had seconds before some big sludge monster made of stale candy gobbled us up. I hoped I would make him choke or at the very least hiccup. This thing was the size of a house and looks really gross, with eyes and a mouth pitch black, the later ready for his snack attack. With the water increasing its speed it looked like we were going to be plucked like a common weed.


So a sludge monster is going to eat us now? Will I ever again meow? I should have stayed with the Beer Guys at least I could have gave Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go cries. Now we are going to be gobbled up like bass. I still hope it chokes on my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Simply Clear The Fear!

So dVerse has a fear phobia thing going on at their bay and you know I will have to have my say. That is just a given at any time. Even if I'm half alseep with this rhyme. But fear is a fickle thing and not something I have much of at my wing. Not that there is not stuff to fear but one has to find a balance or will always be stuck in that one gear.

The cat's afraid of a strange noise,
Those little kids and their scream of joys.
A blanket with a bump,
Never know what might be under such a hump.

A box in the middle of the floor,
Danger it could also store.
But you know what they say,
Curiosity killed the cat one day.

Yet satisfaction brought him back,
Once more on the attack.
As I see it many should follow suit,
And not let fear be one big brute.

Let the fear rise,
It will keep you wise,
When approaching the task at hand.
You will know the dangers in the land.

But still do the the task,
Don't hide behind fear's mask.
Because once it is done,
Poof! Could turn out to be fun.

Or you'll learn it was dumb,
And there will be none of that "what could have been" hum.
Fear simply blinds,
So break through the binds.

Yeah a plane could crash,
But your apple could give you a flesh eating rash.
A boat could sink leaving you to drown.
But you could trip and fall down the stairs over your night gown.

Germs could make you sick,
But you could cut an artery performing a simple trick.
The Zodiac Killer could shoot you,
But you could die on the loo.

That last one is true,
If you push too hard a blood vessel can be popped by you.
What a way to go.
Heck, you could choke on anything you eat at your show.

Fear keeps one wise,
But to hide behind its disguise,
And not even try,
Leaves you with nothing but looking to the sky.

Thinking later on about that "what could have been" crap.
So don't fall for its trap.
Just keep an open eye,
Acknowledge the fear and give the task a try.

At least that is how the cat sees it. Not that there isn't fear at my pit. Like if the place caught fire and Pat was not around. Then us kitties would be in the ground. Or the whole health issues too, once that goes much shit can ensue. But as far as fear of things all around, your brain could burst from an awful sound. So why let such fear fully come to pass? It is not about to stop my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Random Mind And/Or Behind!

Random thoughts go through ones head with they are not sure what they just said. Does that make any sense? Or is the cat just sounding dense? Blame Miss Priss for such woes as at bush number five the need for sleep sure grows.

Random is the name
Of this little game.
Have no idea where it will go.
But it is a Saturday flow.

No one seems to be around.
I wonder where they are found?
Out for a walk,
Too lazy to blog stalk?

Maybe they made a scene,
With a magic growing bean.
Not sure it's called a bean though,
Unless you are snip snipped down below.

If you have boney shoulders,
That hurt as bad as sharp boulders,
Do those angel and demon guys,
Who act all bright and wise,

Get a pain in their ass?
At the very least one should cause them gas.
Why would you ever want to get ahead?
Wouldn't such a present cause you dread?

Plus you have to kill something first,
To get your head present burst.
If a vcr eats a dvd what type of player would it be?
All jammed up I suppose is all one would see.

Sounds like a bad porno flick title.
Damn my mind is really not idle.
How come barrels carry monkeys with loopy arms?
Wouldn't that raise some SPCA type alarms?

If a vampire and a zombie mated,
Yeah, they'd be a little dated,
But would it give birth to the undead undead?
Now that is where you can get ahead.

A cat doesn't copy any of you.
A cat does what he or she wants to.
A dog copies you all,
So it should be copy dog at each hall.

Why would a long tailed cat,
Leave his door mat,
To go to a room full of rocking chairs?
Why not just find the stairs?

I dare you humans to rock there.
You would fall down and the cat would just stare.
How does my link show up on dVerse?
It must be some type of Sunday curse.

Or Brian can't sleep in like me.
Either way causes glee.
Now I'm done with my randomness I suppose.
As the lack of sleep still grows.

So that was all over the place. I guess my rats just wanted to race. Then I chowed them all down. Can't have them running around my town. Time to go shove food down the tube of Cass. Of course I will just be an ever watchful little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Turn The Dial That Smells Vile!

You let me be king,
All alone in our wing.
Going away to who knows where,
Leaving me without a care.

I zip around and meow all day,
Loving my kingly display.
Then you crush my dreams,
Blinding me with the high beams.

Or just making my nostrils flare.
You stink, in case you are not aware.
You smell like some old men,
At that nasty den.

Eww what an alien you are.
Don't push me from the food bar.
You come right back,
Damn, Pat won't let me attack.

Did I mention you smell?
That must have been one stinky cell.
Oh what is that?
Are you a robocat?

A thing in the leg.
Quite the bloody keg.
A thing out the neck.
Boy, you are a wreck.

You mean they feed you through that?
You are now one strange cat.
I will curl up to keep you warm,
While you weather this storm.

I can handle the stink,
Even if it makes me blink.
I'll even tear the crap off for you,
When Pat isn't in view.

Damn, he caught me once more.
I will have to be quicker at my shore.
But the cat is glad,
That you are back to our pad.

I still want to rule all.
But don't have a great fall.
Fatty liver has to suck,
You should eat more duck.

Yeah Miss Priss was away for a few days. But is back giving me a hateful gaze. Even though now she has a feeding tube she wants to rip out and an IV that has about the same clout. The cat surely wants to help but Pat keeps giving a yelp and chasing me away. So I will write at my bay. Bear in mind all are running on a few hours sleep. So things may not be as deep or be spelled correctly and such. Damn, I'm sounding like old one eye too much. Now Pat just needs to whine about himself and I will be a copy cat at my shelf. Or would that be stairs? Bah, who cares. Miss Priss is on the mend and this should pass. Then hopefully soon she be back running around with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Glitch Of A Witch Part Two Has Come Due!

"What are you doing, you godly mook?"

Miss Priss scratched Drazin on the arm as he picked her up to some alarm. He wiped the blood off and gave a smirk. I think he thought it was just another perk.

"Fleabag, Drazin was just going to throw you through the mirror and free your fleabag friends."

"Think again, foul demon."

"Would you go play with the voices in your head and leave Drazin the hell alone already?"

"Hell is correct. I shall send you back from whence you came."

Pat, being as much of a nut as ever, ran at Drazin, which was a rather fruitless endeavor. The godly mook just stepped aside, allowing Pat's head and a mirror to collide. That hard head of his was always rather strong and the mirror cracked, bursting to pieces before long. Out jumped Just Keepin' It Real, Folks. That name is a lot to read for some blokes. So Folklore it is from now on or at least until we get out of this candy land lawn.

"You are my elevator, you lift my spirits."

"Is she crazy too? Drazin can't take this."

"She does seem a bit off, demon."

We all jumped back as she began hovering in the air. She then sported pitch white hair. Her face turned all zombie green and she shrieked making quite the scene.

"Kill it! Kill it now!"

Miss Priss yelled at me. What the heck could I do to kill something so freaky? But I got an idea and leaped onto Drazin's bald head. It was time she stopped shrieking and causing me dread. So I kicked the nearest torch off the wall and it flew down the hall. Folklore still shrieked her zombie looking head off, running around looking to dunk her head in a horse trough.

"She got fired from the hotdog stand for putting her hair in a bun."

"Even on fire she's nuts. There must be something in that candy."

Her hair may have been wispy but now Folklore was pretty much extra crispy. It one quick flash she simply turned to ash.

"That careless pyromaniac sure made an ash or herself."

"Pat, shut up!"

"Drazin doesn't know how you fleabags put up with him"

"Isn't a god supposed to have patience for such things?"

The bickering ceased as we looked behind the broken mirror where Folklore was kept. It was quite dirty making it clear no one swept. I guess coming up with those puns took a lot of work and made her forgo cleaning runs. All that remained was a candy cane. Drazin pulled it out looking for some type of gain and then it started to rain. Yeah, rain in a little cubicle does sound insane. But it washed away all that was there and then it sparkled with a shine that even impressed this OCD feline.

The shine was magnified by Drazin's bald head and it seemed we were in for more dread. It criss crossed down the hall and bounced off each and every wall. It hit a few more mirrors causing them to crack, setting more free and we did not know if they would attack.

"Excalibur, why have you forsaken me?"

"Shut up, nut! Drazin takes it back, use your damn finger like that Gawker place."

"If only you weren't such an annoying little rhyming ass, maybe they wouldn't want to kill you."

We backed up in a circle as many jumped free. All of them were known to me. But if they were zombified witch things that could fly without wings, I did not want any part. For they may try to rip out and eat my heart.

Irish Air and old one eye along with each Beer Shower guy and that Thinkingcap all came near, filling the gap.

"Cat! You ass licking fecker, what have you bloody well gotten us into this time. Eejits!"

"Brandon, I call dibs on the candy. Voters will eat this stuff up."

"Judging from your new fat suit, I think you already beat them to it, Bryan."

"I really do have one eye. Cat, what did you do?"

"Bryan, do you think there are steps to get over that look?"

"I think she's going to need more than one beer in the shower to forget about that."

"Cat, tell me now or I'll bury you in your poo filled litterbox."

"I need a drink. This shite is too much."

"Anne, is right. Maybe they have chocolate beer?"

"Or gummy beer. Like that Gummi Bear show it could put some bounce in your step."



Drazin, Miss Priss and I started to back away. They did not act all zombified but were still crazier than all in the Cuckoo's nest any day. Pat, just sat and enjoyed the show. All the voices in his head were enjoying the added flow. Then Thinkingcap finally came up behind us all and let out some strange call.

"Your fingers and toes will rot.
I'll turn you into something hot.
But you will look strange,
As your voice has a whole new range."

"Thou art a demon. I will smite thee."

"I think she's taking those god posts to heart."

"Anne, tell me I'm seeing things. My vision is screwed up thanks to that cat!"

"Brandon, do you think the vote of a God would count as two?"

Thinkingcap turned into a horrible sight. She was covered in light and then it was like she was sucked into her cap. You can imagine how all those around us continued to yap. Then she emerged from the cap half human half horse and by the look of her she did not have a shred of remorse. Her god posts really did send her around the bend. Now she had a horse rear end and wanted to give us one too. This surely would not do.


Wow, old one eye can sure whine. And she blames this feline. That is just rude and what is with Thinkingcap's attitude? I guess turning into such a creature made her go all horror feature. Someone could surely get put to grass but it is not going to be my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.