The lights were turned off and it made the cat scoff. So I jumped up on the table and stretched across like a cable. I grabbed the switch with my teeth and gave it a flick. It was then that I heard a weird click. Smoke began to fill the room, forming in a shroud of doom. Miss Priss raised her head and found no dread, she just went back to sleep until the smoke alarm began to beep.
Pat came running down the hall, looking like he was ready to staple me to the wall. Miss Priss finally joined us as we heard the third person flapping from that guy on the short bus.
"How the? What the? What did you fleabags do to Drazin? Drazin was minding Drazin's own business and you had to go and voodoo Drazin here. Do you want Drazin to turn you fleabags into slippers?"
"I was having a nice nightmare before this mook showed up and ruined it."
Drazin and Miss Priss did their usual yapping and Pat stood with his foot tapping. Until there came a knocking at the door and I knew we were going to end up away from our shore. So I ran to fill my gut as Drazin answered it and we were ranted at by some nut.
"What do you want? Money for a nose job?"
"You think it is funny,
That last year you killed the Easter bunny?
Now you will pay with my chant,
You and everyone at your blog plant."
"Drazin wasn't part of that crap. So leave Drazin out of this."
This typical long warty nosed witch was really a stubborn bitch. She was ranting over and over in some strange dialect and all of us started to connect, under some smoke, beginning to choke.
"Go to lands of candy,
Think all isn't fine and dandy.
For one by one you will die.
So it's time to say goodbye."
The witch cackled and disappeared from view. That is when what I feared came true. The four of us awoke in a land of candy. I guess at least unlike Gawker Island err umm planet is was not sandy.
"Drazin is going to get you fleabags for this crap."
"Why does a god always have to blame cats?"
"Thou art a demon, demons know no better."
"Great! Just what Drazin needs. Your dumb human is off his rocker again. If he shoots something with his finger this time Drazin is going to..."
The three of them stopped yapping as a five foot tall rabbit came rapping. Just our luck. Why could it not have been a killer duck? How many times does the cat have to deal with killer hares? Do they not realize at Halloween no one has Easter cares?
"Welcome one, welcome all.
Here you can have a ball.
Things are off the wall.
Just follow me down candy hall."
"Fleabag, do you always attract these rhyming nuts?"
"The demon makes a good observation?"
Before I could answer he pushed us down the candy road. I think I even saw a chocolate toad. If flying monkeys showed their face I was going to strangle this bunny with Pat's shoe lace. But we travelled through lollipop land and some chewing gum thing which stuck to every hair strand. Finally we ended up at candy hall and the bunny gave his final call.
"Now my job is done,
Back to hyper fun.
Go and see your fate.
I bet it's one you hate."
He skipped off out of view and danced through the gummy glue. I think he had one too many trips are the tootsie roll by the way he took a stroll.
"Time to get this over with, fleabags."
"This is a very interesting place, I bet the tabloid would pay good money for some pictures."
"Pat, your fingers don't work as a camera."
"Drazin is surrounded by idiots."
Drazin pushed the door open revealing a dark and murky hall. There was no candy anywhere at all.
"Godly mook, did you name this? It makes no sense, so it had to be you."
"Shut it, fleabag."
We crept down the hall expecting a trap and Drazin continued his third person flap. But as we neared the other side it seemed to change like the tide. The damn hallway stretched another mile and it kept going as long as the damn Nile. The torches lit up on the side of the walls brighter and we saw the title "He was a fighter." Below the little plaque it was on was a picture that began to dawn. It was of Brian stuck behind glass. He was pounding on it saying something crass. The more the light showed us the hall the more others showed up on the wall. It was the Candy Hall of Fame. It seems these were all the losers of this candy land game. Rather lame I know. But what does one expect from a candy run show?
Everyone was there, each pounding on glass and giving off a swear. It was a regular blogger wall of fame. There was that Irish Air dame. Old one eye was in view, along with Petsy, thinkingcap, Glory Dear, Beer Showers, Contrary, Zen, Waffles and many others from blogland were in view. This was going to be one hell of a meet and greet. I guess you never know what is in that Halloween treat.
So once more at my shore it seems like we are all out and about to explore. Who will live and who will die? I guess we shall see who will go to the sky. Or down below the grass. I will hide behind Drazin so it won't be my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall