Thursday, October 11, 2012

Glitch Of A Witch Part Two Has Come Due!

"What are you doing, you godly mook?"

Miss Priss scratched Drazin on the arm as he picked her up to some alarm. He wiped the blood off and gave a smirk. I think he thought it was just another perk.

"Fleabag, Drazin was just going to throw you through the mirror and free your fleabag friends."

"Think again, foul demon."

"Would you go play with the voices in your head and leave Drazin the hell alone already?"

"Hell is correct. I shall send you back from whence you came."

Pat, being as much of a nut as ever, ran at Drazin, which was a rather fruitless endeavor. The godly mook just stepped aside, allowing Pat's head and a mirror to collide. That hard head of his was always rather strong and the mirror cracked, bursting to pieces before long. Out jumped Just Keepin' It Real, Folks. That name is a lot to read for some blokes. So Folklore it is from now on or at least until we get out of this candy land lawn.

"You are my elevator, you lift my spirits."

"Is she crazy too? Drazin can't take this."

"She does seem a bit off, demon."

We all jumped back as she began hovering in the air. She then sported pitch white hair. Her face turned all zombie green and she shrieked making quite the scene.

"Kill it! Kill it now!"

Miss Priss yelled at me. What the heck could I do to kill something so freaky? But I got an idea and leaped onto Drazin's bald head. It was time she stopped shrieking and causing me dread. So I kicked the nearest torch off the wall and it flew down the hall. Folklore still shrieked her zombie looking head off, running around looking to dunk her head in a horse trough.

"She got fired from the hotdog stand for putting her hair in a bun."

"Even on fire she's nuts. There must be something in that candy."

Her hair may have been wispy but now Folklore was pretty much extra crispy. It one quick flash she simply turned to ash.

"That careless pyromaniac sure made an ash or herself."

"Pat, shut up!"

"Drazin doesn't know how you fleabags put up with him"

"Isn't a god supposed to have patience for such things?"

The bickering ceased as we looked behind the broken mirror where Folklore was kept. It was quite dirty making it clear no one swept. I guess coming up with those puns took a lot of work and made her forgo cleaning runs. All that remained was a candy cane. Drazin pulled it out looking for some type of gain and then it started to rain. Yeah, rain in a little cubicle does sound insane. But it washed away all that was there and then it sparkled with a shine that even impressed this OCD feline.

The shine was magnified by Drazin's bald head and it seemed we were in for more dread. It criss crossed down the hall and bounced off each and every wall. It hit a few more mirrors causing them to crack, setting more free and we did not know if they would attack.

"Excalibur, why have you forsaken me?"

"Shut up, nut! Drazin takes it back, use your damn finger like that Gawker place."

"If only you weren't such an annoying little rhyming ass, maybe they wouldn't want to kill you."

We backed up in a circle as many jumped free. All of them were known to me. But if they were zombified witch things that could fly without wings, I did not want any part. For they may try to rip out and eat my heart.

Irish Air and old one eye along with each Beer Shower guy and that Thinkingcap all came near, filling the gap.

"Cat! You ass licking fecker, what have you bloody well gotten us into this time. Eejits!"

"Brandon, I call dibs on the candy. Voters will eat this stuff up."

"Judging from your new fat suit, I think you already beat them to it, Bryan."

"I really do have one eye. Cat, what did you do?"

"Bryan, do you think there are steps to get over that look?"

"I think she's going to need more than one beer in the shower to forget about that."

"Cat, tell me now or I'll bury you in your poo filled litterbox."

"I need a drink. This shite is too much."

"Anne, is right. Maybe they have chocolate beer?"

"Or gummy beer. Like that Gummi Bear show it could put some bounce in your step."

"Eejits!"

"Annneeeee!"

Drazin, Miss Priss and I started to back away. They did not act all zombified but were still crazier than all in the Cuckoo's nest any day. Pat, just sat and enjoyed the show. All the voices in his head were enjoying the added flow. Then Thinkingcap finally came up behind us all and let out some strange call.

"Your fingers and toes will rot.
I'll turn you into something hot.
But you will look strange,
As your voice has a whole new range."

"Thou art a demon. I will smite thee."

"I think she's taking those god posts to heart."

"Anne, tell me I'm seeing things. My vision is screwed up thanks to that cat!"

"Brandon, do you think the vote of a God would count as two?"

Thinkingcap turned into a horrible sight. She was covered in light and then it was like she was sucked into her cap. You can imagine how all those around us continued to yap. Then she emerged from the cap half human half horse and by the look of her she did not have a shred of remorse. Her god posts really did send her around the bend. Now she had a horse rear end and wanted to give us one too. This surely would not do.

.............................................................................................

Wow, old one eye can sure whine. And she blames this feline. That is just rude and what is with Thinkingcap's attitude? I guess turning into such a creature made her go all horror feature. Someone could surely get put to grass but it is not going to be my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

45 comments:

  1. she got fired from the hotdog stand for putting her hair in a bun...hahha, now that is fun-NY...am covering my horse, i mean my a$$ so i dont end up like that lass

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah it was pretty good
      Use more such things one day I should
      You come into play
      Further on in this display
      Who knows what will come
      Of your gawking hum

      Delete
  2. holy macaroni i am first
    the spaghetti monster must be smiling on me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I hope he doesn't try and eat you
      That would be a bit backwards to come due

      Delete
    2. haha...it was the pasta
      that gotcha?
      lol....

      Delete
    3. What a way to go
      So does the dough take you out being a twin and all at your show

      Delete
  3. Well damn it all to hell
    Amazing how you know me so well
    At least I'm not a bitch
    Just a crazy ol' witch
    My face turning green
    I guess I would cause a scene
    But I spend hard earned cash so my hair don't ever turn white
    So if it ever does I'll give your rhyming ass a helluva fright!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha got you down
      Going all zombified town
      I will run away
      If your hair goes white or grey
      Avoiding your gun
      That would be no fun

      Delete
  4. Hilarious, but leaves me speechless. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL you are speechless at my sea
      That happens barely ever for all to see

      Delete
  5. Gummy beer, I remember seeing some on an episode of the simpsons on fox

    Barney Gumble could use some botox.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha beer such as that
      Might knock one out flat

      Delete
  6. lol lol!! I love reading about all the bloggers in your stories. It makes me laugh even harder... lol

    and hahahaha @ Elsie exclaiming that she really does only have one eye this time!! lol Poor, poor Elsie..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know right, Jax. Like I'll pay any heed. Don't worry, I have something up my sleeve for him AND Dan....

      Delete
    2. haha yeah it is such fun
      To give all a run
      And use them to abuse
      And maybe even confuse

      Pfft old one eye has no clue
      Wait until she turns blue
      That will be a sight
      And it could fit just right
      Not scared at all
      The cat can take anything at his hall
      And twist is about
      Then snack on some trout

      Delete
    3. Pfft don't cheer her on
      She'll fail once more at her lawn

      Delete
  7. I like how you've added to my label in your posts "old" one eye. Nice touch Pat. LMAO. I used to blame the cat for these hurtful jabs but this time it's clearly you. I'll just be locked in my bathroom crying my eyes out. NOT!!!!

    Don't you worry, I have a little something planned to prove I'm not a ONE EYE.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well the "old" is more of a word used to add to the one eye
      But if it makes you cry
      All the more old will appear
      From the cat's little rhyming rear
      Pat just goes with the flow
      He is cray with all the voices running to and fro
      Pfft bring it on
      The cat will still make fun at yours and his lawn

      Delete
    2. Damn, I just added more fuel to your fire! I should have known better!

      Delete
    3. That you should
      When visiting my hood haha

      Delete
    4. Elsie, what happened to your blog?? I can't find you :( :( Please don't tell me that you let that mean old cat scare you off!!!

      Delete
    5. Elsie...me, too!
      What has happened to you?

      Delete
    6. I can find her just fine
      You two are just slower than the feline

      Delete
  8. That was hilarious rhyming as usual Pat but just like Mary this post has left me kind of speechless haha, great post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You speechless too?
      Damn, what the cat can do

      Delete
  9. hahahaha. Me - horseback? I am sure it looks better than your shaking-for-smurf arse.
    Who knew that my cap had magical powers. Elsie, one eye and I am now horsebehind - hmmm what's up with that Cat?
    I pray that Santa stuffs coal in your pringlecans this time.

    Gummy beer sounds like agood alternative for magic pot brownies.

    ""You are my elevator, you lift my "Blood pressure" - I neighed loud. :)

    Thank you Cat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My smurf arse is nice, furry and blue
      It is such fun to view
      The witch is behind it all
      Don't blame the cat at his hall haha
      But pringle cans of coal
      Would be a nice goal
      It would hurt way more
      And those magic pot brownies should come to this candy shore

      Delete
    2. Smurf arse is nice? Blue and flurry - you just described my nightmare there goes my sleep. Narcissistic cat

      Delete
    3. haha stay up late
      That was my fate
      So you can join in
      Getting no sleep at your bin

      Delete
  10. For the record, I would have loved a fish tail like a mermaid than horse behind, not even unicorn. boo hoo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well the gods aren't nice
      So you pay the price

      Delete
    2. Narcissistic game really cat? You are the one who called them perverts not me ;)

      Delete
    3. haha they are crazy
      You just showed them off so now the lines are hazy

      Delete
  11. Gummibeer! That sounds like something my kids would try to drink. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah many might give that a try
      Might taste like rat stir fry

      Delete
  12. It seems to me that the last few days have had an underlying theme
    that could be connected to Halloween!
    Tricks and treats
    costumes to neat
    witch
    with a twitch
    scary
    and hairy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I suppose the theme does arise
      But I won't dawn any disguise
      I will simply rhyme with glee
      Here at my twitching witch sea

      Delete
  13. It's fun to see all these bloggers' alter egos through your rhymes. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That it is fun
      And also fun to do under my sun

      Delete
  14. Hey kitty kitty looks like you have secret wish to lead life like. Zeus, go ahead me not judging you. Take your Viking woman's hand, bull and also trash can bra and give birth to more half human mutant creatures. I am saving my money to get one way ticket to mars because of that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well good luck with the martians too
      They may try and probe you
      While the cat's offspring will rule all
      And I'll have a golden litter box at my stall

      Delete
  15. Haha! thinking cap as an ass! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha her godly posts have come back to haunt
      As she is an ass and I can taunt

      Delete