Friday, October 5, 2012

There Are No Crimes If It Rhymes!

I bet you didn't know that rule. Well you know it is really cool. If you want to get out of trouble on the double, simply find a rhyme for what you have done wrong and sing it out in song. All will then be right at least until you can run out of sight.

Smash went the glass.
Thanks to a wiggle from my ass.
I can't read fragile.
Don't you know I'm agile?

See, bad goes to good.
Here in my hood.
So let's give it a try,
First up is the lie.

Didn't want to make you cry?
Better than a poke to the eye?
Oh me oh my.
At least you didn't die.

Definitely better than the last one.
What about getting the trash done?
You forgot doesn't do it.
But these will be a hit.

Sure beats a bad rash.
Or a big bloody gash.
The oh so scary color clash.
And surely a Mel Gibson flash.

Damn, I am grand.
Helping all across the land.
How about a bill?
Hmm yeah that is worse than a Gibson thrill.

Or maybe not.
Depends on how deep the plot.
Plus if you like his Lethal Weapon I suppose.
But that's as far as that goes.

Could be running late.
Beats being hit with a plate.
A scary blind date.
Where you find the gender is opposite what you are looking for in a mate.

That last one might be a bit wordy though.
Just talk fast and away you go.
Not listening can stir an itch.
Say it beats a computer glitch,

A rather foreign itch,
Or being hit by a stray pitch.
Twist and shout the words,
You'll even fool the birds.

Stop going back to Gibson with your mind.
Never should have been mentioned by my behind.
Speaking of which,
Could be a work glitch.

Like you fake sick.
Did you get that, Dick?
Make that dirty mind take a hike,
For I was talking to Dick Van Dyke.

A Diagnosis Murder could come due.
He would surely find the clue.
Oh yes, faking sick.
If you get caught pull out a brick.

Beats you hitting your boss with that.
If you do so don't blame the cat.
Also get licked by jolly old saint nick.
Or on the receiving end of a Deliverance hick.

Where you could get the lick and a trick.
So many gutter things rhyme with sick.
But you forget to shovel snow.
Oh how I hate that white strat at my show.

Beats having your eyes pecked out by a crow.
Or loping off a toe.
Walking around in a pretty pink bow.
And obviously finding your extremities glow.

Simply find something worse,
And before long they will curse.
You will hurt their brain.
Or simply end up having all think you are insane.

Now wasn't that a good lesson for today? Beats going out and eating hay, actually having Gibson on display, bills you have to pay or taking a nose dive in a food tray. See I could go on all day. Don't know why I picked on Gibson at my bay. It just popped in as I blurted out some sass and it surely got the point across of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

42 comments:

  1. This is genius Pat and most certainly is a good lesson, I wish that I'd known this rule when I broke into that leisure centre like an idiotic fool. Great post Past haha, really made me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL could make one look more or less like a fool
      But at least one could really sound cool

      Delete
  2. that long one though is one of my fav, and a line i would certainly rave and dang if a crow got my face, i would put him in this places before my eyes had it, i dont go for that sh...its too early to get so squirely, so have a great day til i return to read what you say...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess you can't go wrong
      When things go long
      You could tell the crow to suck it
      See I could now go squirrely with feck it a bit
      But yeah still early for me
      Hope it's fun when you come back to gawk at my sea

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Next thing you know,
      R or Jesus will return to the show!
      ha.

      Delete
    2. haha poor old R
      He is missed near and far

      Delete
  4. wouldn't want eyes put out by a crow
    that surely would hinder being on the go
    taking out the trash is okay
    something to do on a rainy day
    some lines can be short, some lines can be long
    whatever length the lines they are fun to turn to song!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah let them flow
      Even if they grow
      The longer they are
      The more diverse they can be at your bar

      Delete
  5. Mel deserves to be picked on. He jumped aboard the crazy train.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah had to give him a go
      With his crazy ass flow

      Delete
  6. Did you really rhyme 'one' with 'trash'?
    That should have given you a rash! ha.

    A lick from Santa? hee hee.
    Did you put that there just for me? lol....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I forgot the done
      When I went on my run
      I guess I should have read it once more
      And yeah I thought of Santa at your shore haha

      Delete
    2. Maybe I'm the only one that truly read
      the others must have been acting dead.
      hahaha.
      proving once again how great
      an editor I am, which is good for your fate.
      ha.

      Delete
    3. Yeah, some prob just sped through
      But it was always caught by you
      But with no delete at my sea
      I can also catch thee hahaha

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. Glad you like
      And now cna use it to get one to take a hike

      Delete
  8. Going on a blind date and finding your date to be the opposite sex you were expecting, is definitely not good! It's almost as bad as dating a mime!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is true
      Might at least it's good to find out before the diddling comes due haha

      Delete
  9. Heheh - I will expect to hear all political speeches and debates in rhyme now instead of double-speak!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that would be interesting to hear
      I could even help out with my little rhyming rear
      For a fee
      Otherwise I'd just give them a flee

      Delete
  10. Bit of a flash from the past there. And forget Gibson. What a jerk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure made a dash
      And gave all a flash

      Delete
  11. Mentioning Gibson
    is a crime
    even if
    in a rhyme.

    You're talking
    trash out
    your ass
    with your
    swinging, swanky
    sass.

    I don't know
    gotta go
    I can't rhyme
    worth a dime.

    Not today
    got to play
    have some fun
    drink some rum.

    I'm out of practice Cat so that's as good as it's going to get. Now I have to insult you or you'll think I don't care. So here goes-you're a flea bitten, arse lickin', rat f+@&king, c$#k s*&%ing, piece of shite Cat. There, that should do it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Someone is missing the cat
      Giving him such flack at his mat
      And Gibson I'll mention any day
      As his movies are still enjoyed at my bay
      So take that
      You drunk eejit who the cat will squash flat haha

      Delete
    2. haha I guess it is you
      And I won't forget you admitted it too

      Delete
  12. If there is a lesson to be learned I must've missed it
    All I heard was a bunch of rhyming bullshit
    We try our best not to commit any crimes
    But no excuse works, even if it rhymes

    Crazy or not, Gibson is one of my favorite actors
    He possesses that "I'm a badass" factor
    Braveheart and The Patriot are the best damn shows
    You can't deny that because everyone knows!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat has no point
      Many a time at his joint
      He'll says whatever he wants
      Or just shout out some taunts
      And yeah his movies are still grand
      Well back when in movie land
      Now they are crap
      He's nothing but a sap
      Edge of darkness needs to go
      In the gutter down below

      Delete
  13. They were good movies but, total fiction!
    Besides, I went off him when I heard his yelling and screaming at people in real life. Maybe he is just nuts!
    No-one is as bad ass as your little rhyming ass ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I'm the best
      And pass the test
      Yeah the movies he made are great
      He is whacko though at any rate

      Delete
  14. damn. SUPER FAIL. When I got to "fragile" I read it like the dad in A Christmas Story and said fra-gi-le and so the next rhyme, agile didn't rhyme at all =/ Then I realized I'm retarded.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha well at least you caught yourself
      And weren't afraid to admit it at my shelf

      Delete
  15. I actually liked him but I don't know what happened lately...

    maybe mid-life crisis or marital woes...too bad...

    Have a good long weekend Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah prob a bit of both
      I liked him until he movies went south

      Delete
  16. Guess I'll have to remember this rule!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The rule can work
      And be quite the perk

      Delete
  17. I love gibson in his movies old and new

    but in real life he's a bit cuckoo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The old ones are great
      New ones can't say they have such a trait

      Delete
  18. I forget how much I miss your funny rhymes until I finally make it back at times :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you like
      And are back to take a hike

      Delete