Tuesday, November 6, 2012

dVerse Pfffft Whoopdi Friggin Doo Starring Many Of You!

Robbie Raisin is here and so are many who come to peer. For Whoopdi Friggin Doo taped the auditions of all of you. You did sign the form as well. So now I get to cause you all hell. Poor dVerse is shit out of luck, tonight they will barely make a buck. Away we go and on with the very scary show.



There Claudia stood,
At her dVerse hood.
Ready to play the sax,
When she found no tracks.

It seems all had run,
To another sun.
All but a drunk hobo.
To a performance at the Whoopdi Friggin Doo Show.


First with his talent on stage,
Hank was all the rage.
My that must have taken a lot,
To get the Statue of Liberty in that spot.


Brian, was clearly upset over second place.
He even got that gawker look on his face.
Then his talent shined through.
His head is full of steam, who knew?


Waffles wanted to flash us all,
With the muscles he gained at the gym's hall.
Wow, he was really something too.
Bench pressing air is a talent I can't even do.


Just Keepin' It Real Folks had to phone it in.
For she was not going to let that rabbit win.
There in her hickville of a town,
She was hunting Waaabbbiiit and sure deserves the crown.


Adam recounted a favorite memory of his.
It seemed some rats got in his biz.
He said he performed kung fu.
But he seems scared between me and you.


Anne was surely drunk.
First she ate a skunk.
Then took a swig of another single malt,
Chowing down on some squirrel with a bit of salt.


Heaven and Grace both showed their face.
She was really all over the place.
I suppose it is hard with two in the saddle,
I wonder what she does with that paddle?


Betsy simply took the stage,
And she truly was all the rage.
A zoo quickly escaped from every cell,
Do you suppose they are drawn to her by smell?


Another who had to phone it in.
Gloria was rather cranky and needed that gin.
For she was still buried in the dirt.
At least she has some fish with whom to flirt.


Sherry brought her mutt.
Who had a talent like no other at our hut.
She got rather mad,
But he thought eating and relieving at the same time was rad.


Al grabbed his thrown from the sidewalk.
He sure can bend as well as talk.
Just look at him perched up there.
At his age he had all in needed in one spot so didn't care.


Daydreamertoo brought a donkey and a thing,
That she brought back from a visit to her British wing.
The crowd all gave a bloody hell.
But she thought feeding an ass spotted dick was swell.


There was tiny Blabber too.
She was sneezing, wheezing and scared to death,
But at least she had bottles and bottles of shampoo.
Those scary strawberries left her short of breath.


Fred just sat there and read.
The crowd was rather dead.
But he thought dragging those books there was a skill.
To watch him read took some kind of will.


Then there was old one eye.
She made the crowd gasp and cry.
She was oh so scary and blue.
Her dino was sad because she was scarier than him with her messed up view.


Mary also came with her three.
She and they were something to see.
She taught them well it seems.
For they sniff butts in teams.


Thinkingcap showed off her skill,
Raising her hand to the nearest hill.
She claimed to have the powers of the gods she likes to talk about.
That hat has to be heavy enough to make her pout.


Finally came WorqueenDan to the stage.
He was clearly different than his page.
I think the king and queen part got mixed up.
But he awed the crowd as his pissed in a cup.


And back at the dVerse mat,
There was the rhyming cat.
He was there to steal the tip jar,
Finding Claudia and the hobo passed out at the bar.

So he stopped for a quick snack,
And ended the raven attack.
He may have also gave Claudia's saxophone a lick.
As he walked off feeling rather slick.

And so ends the talent edition of Whoopdi Friggin Doo.
We here at the studio must thank all of you.
For you made us normal folks skills seem grand.
Now my toe jam picking skill can be shouted out to the land.

********************************

Wow you guys really let your talents flow. It is no wonder the tip jar was bare at the dVerse show. At least I saved Claudia and the hobo. I guess Robbie Raisin can't draw a lick with hand or toe. So he had to make due and tried to make them closely resemble you. Of course all in good fun it was spun. I expect some flack from one eye and a workqueendan attack after such a talent cry. But oh the cat enjoys sass toward his talented little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

97 comments:

  1. This is no word of a lie the funniest post I have ever, ever read in all my time in blogging Pat and not just because I was included! The idea of having us all auditioning at a talent show is actually incredible and the art and the rhymes that went along with it, I swear this is hilarious! Loved Al's audition the most, since all he needs was there for him to boast. Robbie Raisin is a God for hosting this show, I just wish I could have benched the weights but I'm too weak bro.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He got you too Matthew!! We're all famous at the Cats mat today!!

      Delete
    2. haha yeah I have to admit as well
      It was prob the funniest post I have ever done at my cell
      I just had the idea and saw the program
      And them out it came with a blam
      I was laughing as I did the whole thing
      Will always rank as one of the best posts at my wing

      Yeah added you all
      Not just you and the old one eye get a call

      Delete
    3. I'm glad that you rank it as highly as I do Pat because damnn it's awesome!

      Delete
    4. haha too bad such a high rank
      Could bring some bank haha

      Delete
  2. Okay you got me pretty damn close to reality (yeah I eat squirrel, wanna make something of it). But Gloria is so sweet and you have her looking like a mean head!

    How did Elsie turn blue and where did the dino come from? Jesus and you have her head all big. She's going to get you!

    Dan's clearly been on a diet, but he's still a gender bender. Hahahaha!!!

    Its grand to see us all here Cat. Now I've got to go to sleep as I've been up painting all night.

    Nitey Nite Cat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well that isn't so bad
      Tastes like chicken I heard at my pad
      Plus you can share with Fang
      Pffft that bell surely rang
      As Glory Dear says she wants to get out of the dirt
      So I stuck her in and she let the swearing spurt
      Not a nice human at all
      When buried in the dirt at my hall hahaha
      LMAO old one eye was fun to do
      She sure had many new aspects come into view
      The dino came to life because he thought he was scary
      Turns out old one eye is so scary she makes animals less hairy
      Scares the fur right off
      So hope to make her scoff
      Dan's character was the best I could do with what I had
      But I got the gender bender down right at my pad hahaha
      Geez late night
      Sleep should take flight

      Delete
  3. hahaha....betsy just took the stage, all her animals wild and out the cage, adams dance moves are all the rage, and my hawk is steam as i gawk, snort, this is ripping man...lol...hope gloria makes it out...and dang even anne jumped in and made me fourth, whats that worth?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah your twin sure has the call of the wild going on
      A new sensation Adam's dance could spawn
      As your steam flows
      And as far as gloria, who knows
      May stay in the dirt
      Lost to Anne, that will make the steam spurt

      Delete
  4. Hank is FIRST, no mean trivial
    Ahead of Brian and also Waffles
    With the Lady instead of Eiffel
    Still arms akimbo just a trifle
    It's a very satisfying audition
    Obviously it's a good prediction
    It bodes well for the future
    A very tall order I'm sure
    But Pat and the Cat hear ye!
    Makes my day..up..up and away!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah you beat them both
      As they were further south
      Couldn't find the Eiffel to use
      So I figures the lady couldn't lose
      Arms still all grand
      Like in your land
      Was a tall order indeed
      Glad I could make your day at my feed

      Delete
  5. "Mary also came with her three.
    She and they were something to see.
    She taught them well it seems.
    For they sniff butts in teams."

    I absolutely love this, Pat. I laughed so hard I almost spit my coffee at the screen. LOL. The picture is great....I want one for my wall. In fact all of the pictures you found were perfect, almost as fine as your well chosen words. This post must have taken you an age!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha well at least your screen is fine
      Then you may have cursed the feline
      You can steal the pic if you like
      And show it for all who take a hike
      I used them as best I could
      And then easily spun the rhymes at my hood
      Yeah it was no 15 minutes post
      Took a day or two to do at my coast

      Delete
  6. LOL I cracked up all the way through!!! You put all my biggest fears in one picture??? Totally not nice!! I'm itchy already...lol lol

    and why is my poor Elsie blue??? Why, cat, why?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL the elevator and vending machine would not fit
      So I just added everything else to it haha
      Poor Elsie is blue
      Because in candy land that came due

      Delete
    2. If you put an elevator and vending machine, I would have disrupted all the Japanese from laughing so hard!!! lol

      There is something new you can add to the list...Chinese food!! Apparently I'm allergic to the MSG and now I'm on a steroid to stop the allergic reaction. Sigh...

      Delete
    3. hahaha the poor Japanese are used to it now though
      I'm sure they would just give a "she's crazy" glare and off they'd go

      Damn another allergy from you?
      Hahaha what doesn't make you break out at your zoo?
      Sucks indeed though
      All this crap that makes allergies show
      I suspect I have one too
      But I'll wait and see if I'm right before revealing that at my zoo haha

      Delete
  7. Funny stuff... but what about everyone else?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is easier with the crew
      That come daily at my zoo

      Delete
  8. Sure, pissing in a cup would best describe me but what is with the Jeff Foxworthy looking mullet and mustache?

    I think you've gone and stirred up a hornets nest this time, cat! So many you have on display! It's going to cause lots of dismay!

    Your time is coming cat, it's coming soon!
    Prepare yourself to face the doom!
    I've picked on Elsie but now it's time for you and Anne!
    And for Christ's sake get it right! I am a MAN!

    You think you are so freaking mean.
    As if it hurts to be called a queen!
    I'll take that title and wear it with pride!
    And I'll skin the cat and wear its hide!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL that was the best figure it would let me use
      To give you the gender bender blues
      Nothing else would work
      And of course it left the cat with a smirk

      I love stirring shit up at my sea
      Just gets people going more at me
      And like you I can take it with pride
      And easily change the tide

      Can't wait to see
      What you have in store for little old me
      And of course Anne as well
      Sure it will be funny as hell

      But you did recently get your scrotum caught in a zipper
      So if it was a real umm clipper
      Maybe you could pass for the gender bender above
      Thanks to your pickle love hahaha

      Delete
    2. Blog whore! lol

      Always seeking attention and then you turn on those who give it to you. Typical cat!

      And never mind the zipper incident. It has created much swelling, leaving no doubt that I am man!

      Delete
    3. LMAO so I'm a blog whore
      At least I don't bore

      I have to keep up the feline way
      Here at my bay

      Okay there is no doubt
      The cat will give you a you're a He shout
      Happy now?
      I doubt it some how hahaha

      Delete
  9. Funny as hell. Although I do know how to hunt and cook me up some wabbit, I like how you upgraded me to a cannon. That is an attention grabber fo' sho!!! However, looks like I need my rack lifted hey? Those puppies are hangin' a bit low.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha wouldn't let me enlarge them at all
      So they are just perky at my hall

      Delete
  10. HA! I might just have to steam me some wabbit too, or wabbit stew!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It tastes grand I hear
      Should share with all who are near

      Delete
  11. You were first
    guess I am cursed
    but I guess it could be worse.
    Quite the read
    here at your feed
    at least you didn't make my ears bleed
    Love your stage
    the effects all the rage
    and now I'm headed back to my cage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have to be fast
      For first doesn't last
      One big old post
      From the rhyming host
      As all took the stage
      That come daily to my page
      Enjoy your cage
      Hopefully it has a good wage

      Delete
  12. As I sat down and peed
    I developed a need.
    So don't accuse me of greed.
    I need SOMEthing to read!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha might need some tp as well
      Damn that would be hell
      Nothing to read or wipe
      You have a right to gripe

      Delete
  13. OMY I look terrible cat:) Thanks God Im not angry LOL
    I never will understand why you always bury me :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha just came due
      And now it stuck at my zoo
      You don't like the angry look?
      Maybe you too need a book

      Delete
    2. I love the pinapple look nice and I have one right now LOL

      Delete
    3. See, at least the cat travels the land
      And sends you some food while you are buried in the land haha

      Delete
    4. Pffft stealing my word
      Pfft next time I'll leave you a dead bird

      Delete
  14. Poems with pictures, you are spoiling us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't let him fool you! We are not spoiled, we are his subjects of ridicule!

      Delete
    2. I can spoil
      With a little expected recoil

      Bah a little ridicule is grand
      Here in my land

      Delete
  15. haha..oh, everyone looks grand
    as they take the stand!
    And Waffles, those are some impressive muscles there.
    Wow..your arms are just bulging everywhere. (not) hahaha.
    Jax with all those phobias!
    you're going to make her itch down to her toes!
    Now what's with my zoo there
    and not a cat anywhere?? lol
    So they come to me because of my smell?
    Well, I'll assure you that my smell is swell.
    No wonder they come gathering around
    as sweetness just abounds!

    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the cats stayed home
      I guess they did not want to roam
      Or were scared of all the other animals around
      There wasn't even a hound
      Just a bunch from a zoo
      That sure liked the smell of you hahaha

      Delete
  16. Hahaha....I am really giggling out loud here. The dog thinks I'm crazy. He may well be right! He's sees me laughing like a loon and gets so uptight.
    I cracked up at the pic of Brian's Mohawk taking off....Haha...and then it just kept getting better... LOL OMGoodness
    Talk about bleeding crackers Haven't have a good laugh all day. Now I have.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha it sure took flight
      As he gawked on sight
      Thinking really hard
      It flew across the yard
      Glad I could provide a laugh or ten
      And make the dog think you are crazy at your den haha

      Delete
  17. Outstanding, Pat! Very creative in a poetic context. LOVE IT!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you like
      As I took a hike
      And made lots of fun
      With some pics under my sun

      Delete
  18. That was fun and I liked all the poet characters.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh my... you are just hysterical...and that's not esoterical... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha a word I never knew
      Good one from you

      Delete
  20. Hahaha! You got that right about my mutt's special talent! And you can add that he turns around and eats his poo, too! Ewwwww!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha too bad that didn't save on food
      Then it might not be so rude

      Delete
  21. God, Pat....this was hilarious! Many times I don't get it....but this one I did.

    Very funny, probably also because I 'knew' some of the characters....

    Lady Nyo...I needed this laugh today...a very, very gray day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I can be way out there
      Most days at my lair
      This was straight forward at my sea
      As I make fun of many who visit me
      Glad I could make your day a little less gray
      Here at my bay

      Delete
  22. You are a fountain of creativity and energy. Thanks for the good fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Creative I can be
      As I go about poking fun at my sea haha

      Delete
  23. Very cool.

    The artwork kind had that Yellow Submarine-ish quality to it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it was a bit like that
      As I used a program at another mat
      Thankfully it did all the work
      For drawing and the cat are not a perk

      Delete
  24. Fantastic artwork and words! Hello from a new follower.

    ReplyDelete
  25. This is awesome :) you are so creative :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Always fun to create
      Even if I get a little hate haha

      Delete
  26. If less frivolous, I'd say it was hilarious.
    But I can't lie to a cat just like that.
    I was sad not to make it in the mix, maybe I need a few more tricks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha all about you?
      Well that can come due
      Just easier to do
      With those who are always at my zoo

      Delete
    2. With two kids and three dogs
      Nonsense does my castle fog
      To seek peeks in a cat's brain
      Would prove me insane

      Delete
    3. haha damn quite the zoo
      At least you have a clue
      And insane is fun
      Try giving it a run

      Delete
  27. :o) You take the cake...enjoy it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat will chow down
      And will not frown

      Delete
  28. Wow...so cool...enjoyed reading this about my fellow dVerse poets...you seem to have the inside scoop on these people...love the accompanying artwork too. Totally entertaining!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I pretend to have the scoop
      But I might just throw all for a loop haha

      Delete
  29. whew...quite some cool action going on here...and i always suspected that it was the cat that stole the tip jar..ha...smiles...thanks for saving me though...much appreciated...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah a ton going on
      At the whoopdi friggin doo lawn
      I couldn't let birds send you to the grave
      Had to go for the save haha

      Delete
  30. dVerse got talent!
    X factor aplenty,
    my American Idols here
    apart from pat
    the bar is empty!

    You split my sides dude . . . I'm down a rib or two
    but as ever it was a pleasure reading you :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hopefully you can find a rib or two
      To stick back in at your zoo haha
      Glad it was fun
      Thanks for giving it a run

      Delete
  31. Hank was always first at this bay. Hehe this is tooooo funny and wonderful. How did you do the drawings, I think something I must learn. You are very talented and so much fun. There's some rhyme in my comment right.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ummm hmm I can pretend there is a rhyme
      But that might be a crime haha
      Found a site
      That let me bring the drawings to light

      Delete
    2. Yes, lucky me, Lisa! The rhyming is apparent, yes!

      Hank

      Delete
    3. Wow an old post
      Back to visit my coast

      Delete
  32. No mention of Brandon? I wonder what his head's full of...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Prob many a thing
      That one day may be shown at my wing

      Delete
  33. haha, talent show was cool. Love the art rendering as well, quite, um, swell. Yeah, those books would've knocked me out lugging them up onto the stage, they were freaking huge lol. Each skit was a lot of fun. and quite impressed again, was I with the drawing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankfully no drawing had to be done by me
      Or they would just look plain scary
      And yeah those books are large
      They'd take up a whole barge

      Delete
  34. this is so great! plain and simple: loved it.
    too funny!

    ReplyDelete
  35. this was fun, i really loved the graphics and it was even better when I recognised a few blogger!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah alwaos better when you know
      Some of those who show

      Delete
  36. Priceless ! Must have taken an age to produce such talent and patience..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It took a while to make this post
      But the rhyming comes easily to this host

      Delete
  37. now that was one fun show; it's a shame Claudia's music never got to flow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah she could have played a tune
      And made the hobo swoon

      Delete
  38. Haha, can't help but smile at this piece and the pics are so funny

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Went a good long mile
      Glad I could get a smile

      Delete
  39. The title tickled my ribs so hard
    and made me spew my drink
    then as I read this casting card,
    I lost my ablilty to think.
    For fun and pokes are free to all
    that haunt the page of dverse
    I laughed so hard, I couldn't recall
    a more entertaining verse.

    Well done! This is priceless!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha hopefully you didn't make a mess
      That would be bad I will confess
      When your drink did spew
      And always so fun to go with Whoopdi Friggin Doo

      Delete