So sending a letter to the fat guy? I guess at least he has a second eye. Unlike some folks around here. But she won't be named by my little rhyming rear. Maybe they are both the same age? I'm sure that would be all the rage. Now the cat will get back to the task and what is that you ask? It is simply to rift on a Christmas quote, as I go about the rhyming at my zoo for all to view.
Christmas is like any day,
At your work bay.
You do all the work,
And the credit is taken by the fat jerk.
If you believe men and women are equal in every way.
Then go to your nearest present display.
Whose are wrapped better I ask?
Men look like they did them after emptying a flask.
If you are afraid of the fat guy,
Then it is no lie.
You are a claustrophobic case.
Better carry some mace.
Santa sure has the right plan,
One which the cat is a fan,
At least for most.
Only visit them once a year at their coast.
Christmas is a time when old is new,
Or no one can get a clue.
As Charlie Brown is shown for the 100th time.
He must haul in quite the dime.
Santa only has to work once a year,
Sitting the rest of it on his rear.
Because Rudolph and Frosty bring in the dough,
Each year from their Christmas in July show.
Elf's love music as they work.
But what makes them smirk?
Wrap music of course.
That was so bad it came from a horse.
When Santa comes around.
Makes sure he isn't a hound.
He may state "toys the run on batteries are his best."
But if you're hard up put it to the test.
So he sees you when your sleeping?
With his lurking and creeping.
What a perverted dude,
Watching the cat sleep in the nude.
Elves like to flirt.
That is why Mrs. Claus never wears a skirt.
For from once simple bump,
She gets the head and no hump.
Yeah, the cat quoted here and there and then just made some up at his lair. The horse did the wrap one. That one was so lame, but still had to be done. At least no one passed some Christmas gas, except for maybe my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.
First!
ReplyDeleteBloody hell woman, you beat me!
DeleteFinally you won at my sea
DeleteAnd beat poor old Irish Air with glee
I'm curious as to who reads this blog with only one eye but that's no bother haha since all creeds and kinds are more than welcome to stay at Cat's bay. Now you mention it it is kind of weird that Santa sees you when you're sleeping, very strange indeed in fact.
ReplyDeleteSanta is a paedophile. It's sad, but it's true.
DeleteOne eye is right above
DeleteBeing first with love
And agree with Irish Air
At my lair
shit 2nd
ReplyDeleteLook at you cursing away at my bay!
DeleteActually third
DeleteTalking to yourself may be absurd?
Feck 3rd
ReplyDeleteYou're making quite the display.
DeleteYou really can't count
DeleteToday to any amount
Arse and 4th too
ReplyDeleteMust be upset that you didn't come first, so now you curse and curse and curse Haha.
DeleteCalling yourself names
DeleteCan make for fun games
It was a pitiful attempt at being you Cat, pitiful.
DeleteI will agree
DeleteShould have rhymes with glee
I'm lucky to squeeze out one rhyme a day.
DeletePfft just practice more
DeleteOr swear and rhyme galore
The Cat
ReplyDeleteis full
of sass
at his
little rhyming
mat.
He sleeps
in the
nude
oh that
is quite
crude.
A fat man
he fears
staring at
his rear.
A thing
he has
for elves
he really
twists and
shouts
as they
come into
view,
it's horribly
rude.
Now a
Union Boss
he is
shouting pay
should Santa
give.
And a foe
of the slack
with his
little rhyming
ass,
Santa is a lazy capitalist pig, a member of the bourgeoisie. The working classes should pull him down! Clearly you're a Communist Cat. Your name is really Meow Tse-tung.
You have a lot to say at my bay. And the Cat is a God so why not rule China as well as Canada Haha.
DeleteThere, I've taken up your slack today Cat. Now pay me.
The cat will sleep bare
DeleteAll day at his lair
Doesn't bother me
If santa is creepy
I'll just get my pringle can
And pelt the gawking man
Not sure it counts answering yourself
Did you get up to something with an elf?
Giving you lots of energy today
Plus you didn't even rhyme in the retort to yourself at my bay haha
When I typed in 2nd, Matthews comment hadn't published yet. Have you seen any of the meme's for all the cat dictators.
DeleteHere's Kittler and Mewoseph Stalin
http://www.kulfoto.com/cat-pictures/29706/meowseph-stalin-and-kitler
haha first time I saw those
DeleteAnd Matthew caused your counting woes
Have you ever heard of kitten huffing? If not, I'll stop by and leave you a link before Nitey Nite time.
DeleteHahaha never heard of that
DeleteOh so crazy the things you humans do with the cat
lol....those elves better watch or they'll make the naughty list, i am glad santa is the one to gawk, can you imagine some he spies like a hawk, might make you throw up, at least he only works one day a year, that would give me cheer
ReplyDeletedo you count anne as one
Deleteso i can be 5th to the fun
or am i really twenty again
which is a horrible sin
but then again i am 21 as well
what the hell
Yeah might make me throw up indeed
DeleteSpying on such old bitties at their feed
Making his own playboy type thing
Except for the over the hill wing haha
And hmm if it makes you feel better at your sea
You can pretend 5th was gotten by thee
In two days at your place I've learned Santa is a perv and a lazy ass. What's next? Santa the criminal? Santa the serial killer? Can't wait til tomorrow!!!!
ReplyDeleteA serial killer he could be too
DeleteJack the Ripper with a hoe in his view
The commenter above must be a mind-reader. I was thinking the same thing! I wonder what we're going to learn about Santa next? haha.
ReplyDeleteNot sure what we will learn
DeleteI hope nothing makes your eyes burn
Um . . . Santa only works one day a year? lol That's like saying an election officer (the one who actually runs the entire election) only works one day a year (two if there's a primary). Uh, I'm already working on next November's election.
ReplyDeleteHappy Christmas!
haha politics and santa at play
DeleteSuch a fun display
But I suppose you are right
I guess he does more than one night
Didn't anticipate Santa such
ReplyDeleteHo, ho, ho! what do you know
All in a day's work in as much
But he managed more than just Mrs Claus
Hank
Yeah all in one day's work
DeleteMust be a perk
One whole day a year
The rest he sits on his rear
I've decided you will only get coal
ReplyDeleteas you keep putting Santa in a black hole.
Making him out to be a dirty old man
who prances around, showing his fan (ny)
lol....
Well coal I can biff at ones head
DeleteIf they cause me dread
So has it's uses too
Should such a present ensue
sigh. I just fail when it comes to rhyming. You know.
ReplyDeleteI guess that's just the way it goes.
But when it comes to Santa's credit
I like to do a little edit
and only stuff the stockings w/candy
the rest I wrap, and it's just dandy!
*squee*!!! I did it!!! :D <3
LOL that you did
DeleteEven squee-ed like a kid haha
Well done
Rhyming oh so fun
So mrs. Claus doesnt wear a skirt!?!???!
ReplyDeleteInteresting:))
Nope none at all
DeleteShe goes bare like the cat at her hall
so true about the santa credit
ReplyDeleteFour stages of life:
Believe in Santa
Don't Believe in Santa
Become Santa
Look like Santa
haha that is a good way to look at it
DeleteEach one is some sort of hit
hahaha...Adam, I love that!
DeleteEgging others one
DeleteGeez such acts at my lawn
I sure ain't afraid of the big fat guy, oh, not our neighbor again!
ReplyDeleteLOL that neighbor need to go
DeleteTrot over and poo on his toe
And how do you know Mrs. Claus doesn't wear a skirt? LOL!
ReplyDeleteThat cat had a look
DeleteAS he creeped about Santa's nook
orlin N casie
ReplyDeleteN haz ya ever wundered why de abominable snow dood wuz on rudolph; scarin de ba jezuz outta everee one...uz cats thought this wuz pozed ta be "happee" ???? show.....
just sayin
:) meowloz !
Hmm I don't know
DeleteMaybe he lost his happy glow
But all was better by the end
As Rudolph set the trend
Santa works hard those days he works
ReplyDeletenever is he one who shirks
he may be getting old and grey
but so will we all someday.
Charlie Brown is a holiday tradition
but I'm tired of the yearly rendition
Rudolf I will take any day of the year
he makes me happily grin from ear to ear.
Have a good day
keep the elves away!
Yeah rudolph is grand
DeleteEach year across the land
But Charlie Brown
Needs to go to another crown
And I guess he does a ton
On the day or two he gives work a run
Men look like they did them after emptying a flask..
ReplyDeleteOoo so true! And they're twice as slow, so there you go... or rather, stay, for at that speed you're not going away.
Yeah that is true
DeleteSlow and crappy wrapping comes due
I guess we suck
And just want to umm ride in a truck
Okay, I'm now officially freaked out about Santa. :O
ReplyDeleteBut thanks for the tip, Cat and Pat. If I get drunk before I wrap the presents, it will look like my hubby wrapped them. That's about right. :D
He is a freak
DeleteWith his little freaky squeek
Run away
And there you go, great excuse at your bay
No, it isn't very pleasant
ReplyDeleteWhen a man has wrapped the present--
It's quite the pity
That it's not very pretty.
haha but still fun to chew
DeleteAt least a time or two
Uh oh, someone is getting coal, we are sure!
ReplyDeletehaha bring it on
DeleteI'll biff it at people who trespass on the lawn
Okay Cat here goes. First you have to learn about the Cat Nation as founded by Paco Tacoyummy. He led a band of revolutionary cats whose goal was to stop the snip snipping of males.
ReplyDeletehttp://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Cat_Nation
Now you have to know what kitten huffing is because the Paws of Righteous Harmony are against it. (you will be too).
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Kitten_Huffing
I thought of you when I found this stuff. Could be a useful springboard for a post or two. Those pics of kittens in bottles are priceless!
Nitey Nite Cat.
haha that works for me
DeleteWill give me a post or three
Saved them for when I start typing again
After my long break from my work den
A rather interesting viewpoint of the North. :P
ReplyDeleteInteresting I can be
DeleteHere at my sea
I'm totally phobic of the fat guy :)
ReplyDelete.......dhole
A phobe
DeleteMaybe he skips you across the globe
hahaha…this is fun. That wrap music joke is great, but I love corny jokes. And I had to laugh really loud, good thing none of the other rooms are near mine, otherwise would've awoken them, the gift line about the flask, no, no I didn't take one to task, but as I was reading this I had to peer, into the corner of the room and look at the gifts I wrapped earlier today, and yep no one will have any doubt that I wrapped these myself lol
ReplyDeletehaha yeah corny jokes are fun
DeleteI put them in under my sun
Yeah no doubt what so ever at my zoo
That it was my wrapping endeavor too
hahah I must say- I kind of wrap my presents like a guy. So it'd be hard to tell the difference in the sexes from my gifts!
ReplyDeletehaha well just blame it on the boy
DeleteI'm sure you can play coy
I wonder if i can apply to be santa, i only want to work once a year and thanks to my sleep walking i do watch people sleep during the night!
ReplyDeleteThere you go
DeleteA bit creepy though
Sure you could pull it off
And not make the kiddies scoff
There is snow forcasted in Chicago and along with this you have put me in the Xmas spirit! Thanks so much!
ReplyDeleteFOLLOWED!
Glad I could
DeleteAnd no snow is great in any hood