Monday, December 24, 2012

Bah Humbug I Say Today At My Bay!

So on this day before Christmas day. That can be confusing to say. Something like the day before the day before Christmas day. I could go on forever with that at my bay. But I will refrain from hurting your head for Scrooge has come to cause dread. He wanted to have his say and it was so fun I will let him today.

Scrooged Holidays

I have kept a count of all the cheer,
That is said to come this time of year.

Jingle Bells, cooking smells,
Cardboard little wishing wells.
Lights to mock the Vegas strip,
Brats on Santa's ancient hip.

Mounted heads in the sky,
Working for some fat guy.
Natures needles on the floor,
All decked out on the door.

Animals moving in a flock.
Clerks moving final stock.
Relative love being spread,
No, Aunt Millie is not dead.

Plastic boobs promoting sales,
Everything from food to nails.
Howling dogs at the porch,
Singing songs one should torch.

Bows that shine with a glow.
If you have surpassed Velcro.
Paper wrapped all nice and neat.
Even a Merry Christmas tweet.

Balls of snow rolled and stacked,
Avoid yellow in the digestive tract.
Carrots simply laid to waste.
While puny brains turn to paste.

Holy wallets, plastic nights,
Bills reaching new heights.
Mistletoe with the office horse,
Bringing grounds for divorce.

Whiny babies, picture snaps,
Concerts bringing fake claps.
Snow balls are a thumping,
Blue need early holiday humping.

Stockings traps above the fire,
Elves wishing they were higher.
Cookies and milk treaties,
Easily promoting diabetes.

I am sure much I missed,
That will make next year's list.
So to you I raise my mug,
And to this holiday cheer, bah humbug.

Wow such a cynical old man. Of his rhyming I am a fan. But not his no holiday cheer. I think he needs to get drunk off beer. Or you know those spirits must come to make him no longer glum. But if a ghost comes near me with his moaning sass. I'll just blow it away with some gas from my merry little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

45 comments:

  1. What's going on?
    No one's around!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All gettting ready to cheer
      Kicking christmas into gear

      Delete
    2. I'm just hoping to get work done

      working on the eve is no fun

      Delete
    3. Yeah that must suck
      Drive one to say what the umm cluck

      Delete
  2. Christmas eve is quiet
    Having a respite all poets
    Merry Christmas everybody
    Happy Holidays to you and family

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same to you
      As many don't come to view
      Being all nice and cheery
      Instead of peery

      Delete
  3. The finest Holiday Cheer to you Pat and I hope the bah himbugs getq replaced with hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Now that the holiday
    has almost reached its hour
    Have a very happy holidays
    From A Beer for the Shower

    For now we must find
    some liquor to heat us
    So enjoy your milk, your cookies,
    and especially your diabeetus.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha enjoy your liquor
      Rum gets you drunk quicker
      So fill your gas
      And merry christmas from my little rhyming ass

      Delete
  5. Ah, that certainly puts the holiday in perspective. I'm sure my sugar count is high enough to put me in the diabetes category after all the crap I've been eating.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha hopefully it won't go there
      But yeah sugar is everywhere

      Delete
  6. You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
    You really are a heel.
    You're as cuddly as a cactus,
    You're as charming as an eel,
    Mr. Grinch.
    You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel.

    You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
    Your heart's an empty hole.
    Your brain is full of spiders.
    You've got garlic in your soul, Mr Grinch.
    I wouldn't touch you with a
    Thirty-nine and a half foot pole.

    You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
    You have termites in your smile,
    You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile,
    Mr Grinch.
    Given the choice between the two of you,
    I'd take the seasick crocodile.

    You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
    You're a nasty wasty skunk.
    Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
    Your soul is full of gunk,
    Mr Grinch.

    The three best words that best describe you,
    Are as follows, and I quote"
    Stink!
    Stank!
    Stunk!

    You're a rotter Mr Grinch
    You're the king of sinful sots
    Your hearts a dead tomato squashed with moldy purple spots
    Mr Grinch

    Your sole is a appalling dump heap
    Overflowing with the most disgraceful
    Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
    Mangled up in tangled up knots.

    You nauseate me, Mr Grinch
    With a noxious super nos
    You're a crooked jerky jockey and,
    You drive a crooked horse
    Mr Grinch!

    You're a three-decker sauerkraut
    And toadstool sandwich,
    With arsenic sauce!

    From the immortal Dr. Seuss to you on Christmas Eve Cat. May your heart grow three sizes today :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the cat's gas will grow three sizes for you
      And I will let it come out of my gazoo
      And give a big cheer
      To all far and near
      And great recall
      As the Grinch dawns the wall

      Delete
    2. I'm curious to see what crazy shite you come up with for tomorrow. Will you slaughter Santa or will you spread love for all mankind?

      Delete
    3. haha well santa gets a bit of fun
      With the bit I spun

      Delete
  7. No bah humbug here
    I will save it for New Year!

    Merry Christmas, Pat
    despite humbug and all that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha just had to give it a go
      As bah humbug had it's flow
      And the new year will come
      Then can come the hum
      Merry Christmas to you
      And your dog crew

      Delete
  8. at times it can become fairly easy to lose sight of the sheer this season, the losses mount up, and all can seem as plastic as a rubber duck at times, but to lose the joy would rack up multiple crimes....happy holidays cat & pat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is would
      Never lose it one shoud
      Even with the plastic
      Like an elastic
      Happy christmas and all
      To you at your hall

      Delete
  9. a merree chrizz mouse two all
    N two all sum fat trouts!!

    merry christmas orlin, cassie N pat

    ReplyDelete
  10. Love this Christmas rhyme Pat and hope that you have a jolly time. I suppose that you're not the keenest on Christmas because of the commercialisation and everything which annoys kindred spirits such as yourself and I but regardless I hope that you and your family have a good one and that the big creepy old man that is Santa Claus gets you all that you want.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Santa will sure find us
      I won't cuss
      As the presents come due
      And should be merry at our zoo

      Delete
  11. Hey, that was pretty good! Bah humbug. I'm off to smash a printer!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha fun to do too
      And smash that printer with glee at your zoo

      Delete
  12. oh Dear
    take a drink
    and forget the thing
    hope you find the things fun
    anyway think Christmas
    is only by a day so tomorrow you can rhytm
    again and dont feel sorrow!!!

    Merry Christmas dear Pat and cat!xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, and don't sell those DVDs or I'll ask Santa to send them back to you!

      Delete
    2. Merry Christmas to you in the sand too
      Hope it is nice and sandy around you hahaha
      All will be grand
      Here at my land

      Too late for that
      All gone from my mat

      Delete
  13. I'm told that, with the crisis and all, Santa actually works for Amazon... Step on it Santa! I'm still waiting for my DVDs! (I might be wrong.) Now were are my milk and cookies?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well that works too
      Always fun when stuff from Amazon comes due

      Delete
  14. Holy wallets? I'm a rookie
    This clever verse made me spit out my milk and cookies

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hopefully they did not hit anyone
      They might not think that was fun

      Delete
  15. I like how you brought light to the many sides of Holiday cheer, which behind the gifts, if one looks, there is certainly the songs of jeer. Quite fun. Merry Christmas, have some catnip and roll about beneath the tree.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah always fun to give a look
      At the other things at my nook
      Merry Christmas to all
      At your stall

      Delete
  16. A grinch I could never be
    I'm just too sweet, between me and thee.
    haha.
    So, how do your rated R packages look
    there at nanny's nook?
    Did you put them under the tree
    for all to blush and see
    or did mom and nanny say
    you have to hide them in the back all day?
    hahaha.

    And are there cats up in the tree
    like there are here, such a sight to see?
    There are no ornaments on the lower boughs
    as they've turned into soccer balls some how.
    lol...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha oh you have that violent streak
      That could send one up the creek
      They are under the tree
      For all to see
      Right out front too
      To turn some blue
      And nope they just go under them now
      And give a bit of a meow
      Too many other cats they don't like
      To really take a hike

      Delete
  17. Merry Christmas Pat.. Made me smile as always..
    Read, loved and reviewed Honk the Zagonk!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I could crack a smile
      With my rhyming mile
      And thanks a ton
      For reading and the review run!

      Delete
  18. Yes, Christmas gave me diabetes...again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Got it twice?
      Damn, you need some lucky dice

      Delete
  19. Have a Merry Christmas Pat.

    .......dhole

    ReplyDelete