Bah Humbug I Say Today At My Bay!

So on this day before Christmas day. That can be confusing to say. Something like the day before the day before Christmas day. I could go on forever with that at my bay. But I will refrain from hurting your head for Scrooge has come to cause dread. He wanted to have his say and it was so fun I will let him today.

Scrooged Holidays

I have kept a count of all the cheer,
That is said to come this time of year.

Jingle Bells, cooking smells,
Cardboard little wishing wells.
Lights to mock the Vegas strip,
Brats on Santa's ancient hip.

Mounted heads in the sky,
Working for some fat guy.
Natures needles on the floor,
All decked out on the door.

Animals moving in a flock.
Clerks moving final stock.
Relative love being spread,
No, Aunt Millie is not dead.

Plastic boobs promoting sales,
Everything from food to nails.
Howling dogs at the porch,
Singing songs one should torch.

Bows that shine with a glow.
If you have surpassed Velcro.
Paper wrapped all nice and neat.
Even a Merry Christmas tweet.

Balls of snow rolled and stacked,
Avoid yellow in the digestive tract.
Carrots simply laid to waste.
While puny brains turn to paste.

Holy wallets, plastic nights,
Bills reaching new heights.
Mistletoe with the office horse,
Bringing grounds for divorce.

Whiny babies, picture snaps,
Concerts bringing fake claps.
Snow balls are a thumping,
Blue need early holiday humping.

Stockings traps above the fire,
Elves wishing they were higher.
Cookies and milk treaties,
Easily promoting diabetes.

I am sure much I missed,
That will make next year's list.
So to you I raise my mug,
And to this holiday cheer, bah humbug.

Wow such a cynical old man. Of his rhyming I am a fan. But not his no holiday cheer. I think he needs to get drunk off beer. Or you know those spirits must come to make him no longer glum. But if a ghost comes near me with his moaning sass. I'll just blow it away with some gas from my merry little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.