Saturday, December 22, 2012

Do You Know All Below?

So the cat is still in the holiday mode. If you don't like it, go find a rhyming toad. I suppose he would be a fun bloke until he decided to croak. Then nothing would be said. Better off avoiding such dread. Now away wie go with some facts that all might not know.

In that twelve days song,
You can do no wrong.
Get all the presents from it,
And 364 presents your stats would hit.

Jingle Bells is so great.
Christmas had to be its fate.
Nope, wrong once more.
It was actually written for Thanksgiving's shore.

More than 3 billion greeting cards are sent,
Making the mailman get bent,
In the US alone.
Be cheaper to leave a message at the tone.

The average household will mail out,
On average 28 Christmas card shouts.
I guess with that stat,
The cat falls flat.

A wreath on the door,
Means welcome to ones shore.
Also it wishes you a long life.
Sucks if Santa stole your wife.

Supposedly 7 out of 10,
Of those mutts at each den,
Also get a gift each year.
Pfft 10 out of 10 cats get them I hear.

56% of you guys down below,
Meaning at the US show,
Sing carols to your pets.
I hope you give them earplugs in sets.

Visa cards down below,
My meaning by now you know.
Are used 5,340 times a minute during the season.
Wow, those bills can't be pleasin.

1.76 billion candy canes will be made.
If I get one I'm willing to trade.
A dollar a stick.
I promise it will only have one lick.

In early England they say,
The traditional dinner on display,
Was a the head of a pig,
With mustard for a wig.

Alabama and their backward ways,
Back in 1836 in some sort of daze,
Probably thinking they were in a stage play.
Became the first state to declare Christmas a holiday

And finally the jolly old fat guy,
Must really know how to fly.
He has to visit 842,000,000 houses in one night.
Hopefully Rudolph and Dancer don't fight.

Or he may be late.
That would be an awful fate.
841,999,999 would just look so wrong.
Maybe he'll just skip King Kong.

There are all the facts for this year from my little rhyming rear. Now you know plenty more useless things thanks to my wings. You can also pretend to be smart and maybe get on the people of Walmart. That would show such class. I would at least pretend to be a jealous little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

68 comments:

  1. I think the facts about cards being sent must be from a while ago
    And no presents for my pets yet, so today shopping I will go.
    Enjoy your day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah must have been a while ago
      As now not as many show
      Geez those pets need a gift
      Or they may steal yours quite swift

      Delete
  2. Another fact making the rounds
    Verification from good guy Berowne
    St Nicholas wasn't from the North Pole
    But sunny Turkish Riviera we're told

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never knew that one
      Much warmer under that sun

      Delete
  3. a prelicked candy cane
    is not a bargain, ha you think me insane
    christmas cards i do not rain
    on unsuspecting others, just to get my christmas druthers
    i usually prance the lawn, while they roll over and yawn
    and pawn off christmas carols, off key
    def some intersting facts on our various holiday acts
    enjoy your holiday pat & cat
    and stay away from my wife, to the jolly man who's fat
    ha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha better watch that jolly man
      Of kissing I hear he's a fan
      And you can keep the white
      Glad when none is in sight
      No bargain for you?
      Geez and I try to share at my zoo

      Delete
  4. That is one big bunch of cards, I'd hate to pay for all of those stamps!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hate to lick them too
      That would just be eww

      Delete
  5. At my zoo
    the mutts
    get gifts
    and the
    felines too.

    No plastic
    for me
    I buy
    interest free.

    The head
    of a pig
    without that
    I can live.

    To Alabama
    we give
    thanks for
    this Holiday
    most great,
    or blame them
    who knows
    for they've
    got stinky
    toes.

    Jingle Bells for Thanksgiving. When I thought of the lyrics I could see how Jingle Bells really isn't a Christmas Carol, strictly speaking. Have a Happy Saturday Cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hope you have a grand day
      And I wish there was no plastic at my bay
      But after all of my crap
      Only thing keeping a roof over the head of this chap
      Otherwise pffft be screwed
      Interest is rude
      But what can one do
      And yeah Alabama is grand for making xmas come into view

      Delete
    2. With the wages not increasing at the rate of inflation, lots of people are having to use credit to bridge that gap. It's a case of the rich preying on the poor and middle classes. Really, I wish things would change.

      Delete
    3. Yeah it would be nice
      But with such a price
      Pat and the cat are screwed
      And find it still oh so rude

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. Yeah it would be a sight to gaze
      Sure would amaze

      Delete
  7. I upped the ante on the greeting cards-127 sent from my house, and I even knocked off some deadbeats from my list this year. So far I have received about 89. These southerners even send cards to the next door neighbors with stamps. CRAZY!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One that is a ton
      I gave like two under my sun
      Beats me big time
      And lol to the stamps that is a crime

      Delete
  8. I only mailed one Christmas card, and for my office mates, we just exchange cards ~ It boggles me at the amount of spending we do during this season, but I guess we just want to to be merry and sated with all the food ~


    Happy Saturday Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pfft to the food
      Pat finds that rude
      But I guess being merry is grand
      All across the land

      Delete
  9. Hahaha - Pat I'm always glad for useless facts, but you can keep your once-licked candy cane! I hope you and the cat have a very Merry Christmas :o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have a great christmas too
      Thre at your zoo
      And pfft it's only one lick
      It will do the trick

      Delete
  10. I hate candy canes

    most are the peppermints ones from the insanes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they are nasty to me too
      So I give them away from my zoo

      Delete
  11. All those cards are clogging up the postal system!
    I have a few people their packages are missing!
    Sitting in Chicago with a billion more
    and the blizzard didn't help that score. ha.

    I might be tempted to give Santa a kiss
    if he promised me a life of bliss.
    lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL well if Santa gave me bliss
      I'd even give him a kiss
      That is the cat
      Surely not Pat haha
      A blizzard you say?
      Pfft keep that at your bay
      And still no package from you
      Came to my zoo
      Must have got stuck
      The cat is strat out of luck

      Delete
    2. Well, you aren't even home to get it
      so don't throw a fit.
      hahaha.
      Checked the tracking today.
      After 11 days, it's still in the USA!
      What kind of strat service is that?
      Terrible service, don't you think, cat?
      haha.

      Delete
    3. haha wow that is bad
      Slow from your US pad
      Snail mail
      Rings true the meaning without fail haha

      Delete
    4. Should have mailed it as early as you
      so it didn't get caught in the holiday mail slew!
      hahaha.

      Delete
    5. haha I was on the ball this year
      As everything was done by Dec 1st for my little rhyming rear

      Delete
  12. For that longer life and sucky if Santa stole your wife,
    That often does happen
    When wives go a-nappin
    And dogs go a-yappin
    When she closes the door.
    My real estate man
    Was a-selling some land
    When the client's wife gave him her hand.
    They jumped in his car
    Boy, the husband was sore
    And I bought the land for a score.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn that was great
      Got a fine rate
      With your deal
      At a steal
      Over such an ordeal
      Thanks to the car and its steering away wheel

      Delete
  13. haha...the head of a pig,
    With mustard for a wig....oh my goodness..i'm glad that i don't lived in england back in the days...our funniest christmas dinner was one year when, due to a misunderstanding we had sausages, one for each person...ha...that sucked...but in a way was fun as well..smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL blah to that too
      But beats the pig with the wig coming due
      Suppose it was fun as well
      Looking back at what befell

      Delete
  14. Hey, my best friend is in Alabama!
    But Sistah no longer in slammah.

    I send three cards
    and lighted the lard.

    I mean yard!! :)

    And now I pop in
    to the cat and her kin

    and now here away
    goes i to the day...

    xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Enjoy the day
      There at your bay
      Hopefully it is great
      And nothing makes you irrate

      Delete
  15. Great rhymes as usual Cat. I feel the same way about Christmas although I never knew so many cards were exchanged, it's an insane amount and remains a good reminder of how that Christmas can generally be a commercial thing even though that sounds cliched. It's all about getting people into the spirit of buying things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is insane
      But keeps the mailman going down the lane
      And all about buy buy buy
      For each one under the sky

      Delete
  16. Cool stats, dude. I feel so enlightened now. Schultz is getting a lump of coal for Christmas. How many dogs out of 10 get lumps of coal in their stockings? LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I say ten
      And they are well deserved at every den

      Delete
  17. we like a cat in holiday mood!It has been delightful visiting you. Thank you for your visits and for the time you took to leave us comments here too. We look forward very much to more time shared in 2013! and here is wishing it to be a peaceful, healthy and happy new year. Love Darcy, Bingley and Helen xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let's hope so
      Especially the healthy part at our show
      And the holiday mood is grand
      All across the land

      Delete
  18. Thanks for the info about the Christmas season.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I could help
      With an xmas info yelp

      Delete
  19. Gawd... this bought back some memories....lol
    Merry Christmas Pat to you and you cats :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Merry Christmas as well
      To all at your cell

      Delete
  20. My Human's been too lazy
    In fact, she's driving me crazy!
    Still no ornaments on the tree
    And no cards done that I can see!

    She's not been much of an elf this year
    Though she swears she'll get herself in gear.

    Hmmmmmm.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha not much time
      Such a crime
      But I suppose all will get done
      Sooner or later under your sun

      Delete
  21. Fang is hating this weather Cat. She wants to be outside but the ice, snow and the cold are too much for her. To make her happy, I'm feeding her chicken. She's turning into a roly poly kitty!

    I'm off to the Land of Nod.

    Nitey Nite Cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha chicken is grand
      All Pat eats in the land
      And on christmas eve night
      Nanny gives the cat a big hunk to chow down on sight

      Delete
  22. Hi! Pat Hatt, Miss Priss, and ♫♫♫ Orlin the Cat...♫♫♫!

    ♫♫♫ Here wishing you a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!...♫♫♫

    ♫♫♫Don't put on ear-plugs, Don't put on ear-plugs, Don't put on ear-plugs, or you want hear my "sounds" ♫♫♫ as I go caroling from house to house making the "rounds!"♫♫♫
    lol

    ♫♫♫ Here wishing you a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!...♫♫♫
    deedee :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well a Merry Christmas is fine
      To Pat and each feline
      But if you sing
      Some pringle cans will fling

      Delete
  23. [Note: I'm not quite sure if you can see those musical notes...]

    ReplyDelete
  24. By the way, Pat in the Hatt...
    Thanks, for sharing all the info [rmation] and the stats about Christmas...
    ...Which I must admit that I didn't know...Uh!Oh!...It's getting late and I hear the bells ringing...Therefore, I must go...lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No need to post three times you know
      But glad I could help with some info

      Delete
  25. Hey... You just made those numbers up didn't you! :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope stole them from a site
      But I just as might

      Delete
  26. Merry Christmas Pat, and Cat.

    .........dhole

    ReplyDelete
  27. Yeesh--this world without a rhyming cat 'cause he may croak? Can't imagine that. Every house needs a cat to make it a home! May your furry companions & you have a joyous Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that they do
      And why not two
      Hope you have a great one as well
      And your christmas is swell

      Delete
  28. I have rhyming toads for breakfast. Of course, I don't eat them but give them to my neighbor, who looks like a toad and certainly sounds like one. I thought Jingo Bells was about a guy named Jingo, who loved to ring his bells... See, I can learn so much from reading your stuff. Next thing I know, you're telling me you can cook too. So far I've sent zero X-mas cards. No one wants to give me their adress.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I guess they don't trust you
      With their address to come due
      And a breakfast toad
      Must send the neighbors down the yellow brick road

      Delete
    2. Why won't they give me their address? I really am a nice guy. (Just don't ask my neighbors or co-workers.) :(

      Delete
    3. I guess they must have been asking
      So avoided your nice guy masking

      Delete