Thursday, December 6, 2012

Glitch Of A Witch Part Ten. Still Not Home To Our Den!

A look of dread came across Anne's face. For she did not want old one eye to go to that heavenly place. Do you think they let cyclops in there? Yeah, as no favorites are played at such a lair. Then friggin Anne jumped out without a plan, bringing forth a Betsy scream sending her zombified team at us in one big stream.

"Damn Irish. Even the fleabag has more sense than her. Why does Drazin bother?"

"Annnnnneeeee, save me!"

Anne struggled to break through and yelled some nasty words too vile to tell you. Betsy gave her half human, half zombie smile. And then old one eyes shriek could be heard for a mile. For the board beneath her let loose and she hung like a one eyed blue goose.

"Now your turn.
This time you all burn."

They gagged Anne on sight as she continued to fight. Pat turned into some pacifist guy. Of all the times for his mind to give that a try. Miss Priss and I scurried about, avoiding the likes of Brian and Glory Dear as they gave their moaning zombie shout. We knew we had to snap them from Betsy's spell but things were going completely to hell.

We were caught by the tail and Drazin let his name set sail. But that was all he could do, as a horde of zombies pinned him and Pat to the ground like glue.

"Open the fire.
Send them to the deep fryer.
Take this thing too.
She is way too blue."

Once more we were nothing more than bait heading toward a fiery fate. Until out of nowhere came some godly type of neigh. It seems Thinkingcap was not having a very good day. She came barreling through the horde, wrapping them in a magical lasso cord. Of course she got us too, we really had no luck at this candy land zoo.

"My powers will grow,
As I line them in a row.
They will go in the mirror.
Your complexion could be clearer."

"Don't talk to me.
I'll squash you like a flea.
Or maybe the ass you are,
Leaving you nothing more than tar.

Hmm I could use the phrase cat fight. But that probably would not be right. For one was half human half horse and the other half zombie with no remorse. That really brought out Betsy's mean streak. Either way we were up shit creek.

"Maybe they'll kill each other."

"Can't we all just have some peace and love."

"Drazin is going to.."

"Calm down and feel the vibe."

"Drazin is going to squash your human, Fleabags."

"Now what?"

The ceiling began to show a crack. Betsy's cave was clearly under attack. The roof began to pull away like someone was shoveling it into another bay. Then came a sight that made us sick. Godzilla Worqueendan was towering above us and well we could see his umm dick. I guess the he/she is gone. Then of course he began eating the removed candy land lawn. He began to speak too, spitting all over us which was just eww.

"There you are ass.
It is time for you to pass.
I am the king around here.
Candy land will suffer for having no beer."

The three of them stared each other down or at least the two of them while Worqueendan fixed his crown. Not like you could see him stare anyway. For his eye was bigger than the hole he made to show his you know, what nasty display. I guess he needed to eat more which he began to do while calling Thinkingcap an ass whore. We could not believe our ears as we saw fiery rears and heard two that we thought were through.

"Bryan, how do you know you have a hot ass?"

"When it's too hot to touch? Too hot to handle?"

"Wrong! You set it on fire."

The zombie horde just looked on with their blank view as we could not believe it was those two. Then Betsy and Thinkingcap started to be bombarded with dead heads. I think Waffles was off his meds. He gave some Tarzan cry and swooped through the sky. Thinkcap twirled her finger and his vine wrapped around his neck, sadly Waffles seemed to die.

"Let's go you eejits!"

Anne broke free her gag and Worqueendan's gut continued to sag. It could have been his boobies I suppose. Either way, we stomped on the zombie horde's toes. Miss Priss and I kicked Pat in the head and he went back to normal, not wanting to end up dead. Anne grabbed old one eye's body and off we went. Drazin, and I admit, we thought she was bent.

"Let's go eejits. Get your arses in gear."

"Like hell! Drazin is not going in there."

"I'm with the godly mook."

"The demon has a point."

"Come in, the fire is fine."

"Brandon, we have a fine fire and a hot ass."

"Living the good life."

"Get them my subjects, now!"
I'll take care of the old cow."

"They are mine, I need their power.
For I will make all cower."

Worqueendan had is mouth to full to speak but he wanted everyone to go up shit creek. Our only choice was to jump in the fire and hope we would not go to hell or some place higher. So we followed Anne and dead one eye, as all around us continued to cry. If the Beer Guys were still around, some hope had to be found. So in we went. Betsy and Thinkingcap cried out and were rather bent.

*****************************************

Everything is surely coming to a head. I hope we are not dead. Poor old one eye though. I guess that is what she gets for watching reality TV at her show. She was hung and her bell was rung. Or maybe she will return from the fire's burn. I guess we shall see what comes to pass to everyone and my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

67 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Ruined poor Hank's streak
      Revenge he may seek

      Delete
    2. Ha ha, revenge me may seek
      but I think today he is asleep
      and I smile when you too
      were first at MY zoo!!
      Slow day today, I guess...
      I was up early, I confess.

      Delete
    3. Yeah I was up early too
      As the cat would not let me sleep at my zoo
      Jumped on the bed over and over
      As bad as a rover haha

      Delete
  2. Great meaty mixed meaty pie of a tale,
    they have been heard to wail!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha see the use of meaty there
      So yes I am aware

      Delete
  3. "
    "There you are ass.
    It is time for you to pass.
    I am the king around here.
    Candy land will suffer for having no beer."

    Response (tongue in cheek):

    Say, what is with that sass?
    I find you very crass
    Your words give me gas
    please do not harass
    especially near this crevice
    or they'll find you under anoverpass.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL that was a great retort
      Here at my court
      Might leave all stunned
      Hopefully that crevice will now be shunned

      Delete
  4. I'm inspired to call someone an ass whore today. Thank you very much!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha glad I could inspire
      Before we jumped into the fire

      Delete
  5. holy crap, i am like 13, what a bean
    have you seen my ass, its hot
    at least to the one who gives it a pop
    this is all kinds of chaos
    are they close or still way off
    i wont scoff a zombie horse
    is still a horse of course

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha summed it all up
      Too much coffee in your cup?
      As you went right to town
      I'm sure we'll get rid of that zombie frown

      Delete
  6. see...somehow i always knew they had no beer in candy land...ha.. lots of action going on at your shore today..smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah no beer
      Should cause many fear
      And tons on run
      Under my sun

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. haha no rhyme, just a wow
      Wonder what will come now

      Delete
    2. haha that works better I suppose
      Beats holy socks with bare toes

      Delete
  8. I miss thinkingcap

    it's been like 5 weeks since a new post fell in our lap

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah she has been away
      A long time from her bay

      Delete
  9. I'm always such a foul beast!
    Might as well eat you all in a grand old feast!
    Things are heating up in this story!
    I have a feeling things are about to get gory!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah a bit more obscene
      As we near the end scene
      We shall see how foul you become
      With your fee fi fo fum

      Delete
    2. I'm almost afraid to see how far you'll go with Dan Cat.

      Delete
    3. hahahaha don't want to scare all away
      So tone it back a bit I may

      Delete
  10. Oh, I wouldn't mind being by the fire
    or even he deep fryer
    this morning at all.
    It surely isn't fall anymore.
    Much too cold and crass for mine
    and my little dog's freezing cold ass(es)...hah

    I tried...keep drinking the beer for some Christmas cheer c(__)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it is cold
      At our fold
      Need lots of gold
      So warmth can take hold
      But technically still fall
      So it will still get such a call

      Delete
  11. It's good to be back! And who doesn't love a good arson joke? Come on in, folks! The fire is quite nice this time of year! Really burns off the frostbite!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah burn it off
      Would not make me scoff
      Crappy cold
      That takes hold

      Delete
  12. Replies
    1. Nope none at all
      No drunk cats running down the hall

      Delete
  13. OMY! so all we are only zombies??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are under Betsy's spell
      So you are just her zombie at the candy land well

      Delete
  14. Hahahahaha. It has not escaped my notice that I keep getting gagged Cat. For fucks sake, I don't talk that much and when I do I don't curse that feckin' much. You're an arsemonkey Cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahaha wondering how long
      It would take for you to sing that song
      Did that on purpose as you surmise
      And oh no you and swearing sure cut ties haha

      Delete
    2. For us feck isn't a swear word and actual cursing is an appreciated art form. The Spawn made up the word arsemonkey and I like it so much I use it regularly. Now gobshite is used by everyone and it's not considered a curse word. Back home the way I talk isn't at all shocking. I really tone it down a lot on blogger.

      Delete
    3. haha bah toning it down is no fun
      Let it run
      And arsemonkey is a nice one
      Gobshite I've seen you use but that one I never have spun

      Delete
  15. You inspire
    You delight
    Your poems
    even ignite!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is grand
      That is great
      Across the land
      All can relate

      Delete
  16. It's never good when your rear is on fire!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope not at all
      But it might be at candy land hall

      Delete
  17. I loved the pulsating way that this part finished Pat, really can't wait to hear how this turns out, great part as usual, absolutely adore this Glitch Of A Witch series!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Should be interesting to see it take a turn
      As we all might feel the burn

      Delete
  18. You can't have a half human/half zombie. Only one or the other.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not in candy land
      Half and half is grand

      Delete
  19. Replies
    1. haha yeah me too
      He is a scary weirdo it is true

      Delete
  20. I skimmed and I glanced
    and saw "boobies."
    How exciting.
    Then I read deeper
    and read "his."
    Now THAT'S a sighting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha not the thrill
      Worth popping a pill
      Make you feel ill
      And get quite the bill

      Delete
  21. This was crazy fun in zombie land Pat ~ I had to stifle a giggle at hot ass ~

    I see Elsie hasn't read this yet, I wonder what she will say ~

    Have a good night Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha god only knows
      If one eye will come so I can cause her woes
      But either way
      She is toast, for now, at the candy land bay

      Delete
  22. What a run - so clever and fun.

    I'd rather be a human-horse
    Than a zombie without remorse.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I suppose that would be best
      At least better than the rest

      Delete
  23. I'm so glad I got to see this before I headed off to bed! I'll be back tomorrow after hubby's doctor's appointment to give a better comment....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well you just gave one
      I guess you found your dead run? haha

      Delete
  24. WTF? It's a good thing God loves all creatures, even us one eyed ones, huh? Cause you just done kilt me off!! I can't believe it and now poor Anne is lugging me around like a sack of flour?? Good thing I'm tiny! Don't you diss my Honey Boo Boo now!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He'll bring you back from the dead. He's just being his usual arse of a self.

      Delete
    2. hahaha a sack of flour
      Anne sure has the power
      I will have to use that one
      And hmmm I don't know after such a reality run
      She may stay dead
      Off with her head

      Delete
    3. Don't think I'll soon forget how evil you are - killing me off like this!! I'm hoping you'll bring me back with some cool powers or something!

      Delete
    4. haha we shall see
      What really happens to thee

      Delete
  25. Replies
    1. Those things come
      Maybe I need some rum

      Delete
  26. Zombies, monster penises, and other nonsense. This isn't very Christmasy at all! D:

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha cant be christmas every day
      Sometimes I stray

      Delete