Monday, December 17, 2012

It Is All In The Wrap You Silly Sap!

You know the cat has to give giftts too to people at our zoo. But Cassie and I won't let what you humans give fly. I mean little hearts and trees. All the cat can say is, please! Grow some back bone and really set the Christmas tone. It is all in the wrap which we have plenty of such paper on tap.


We're No Angels indeed.
Just look at them satisfy their need.
Getting quite busy,
Heaven must be in a tizzy.

Horny Santa is on the chase.
He can sure move at a steady pace.
He sure seems jolly,
Guess his bells ring for Holly.

If you just want to be mean about it.
Then this will be a hit
Add a lump of coal,
And mail it to the north pole.

Not sure how appetizing this one is.
But I suppose some go for such biz.
Enough of the dong,
That sounds so wrong.

It's a full moon tonight.
Butts of every height.
Ready to heed the call.
Plaster this one across your wall.

The conga line is grand.
Just look at Santa's hand
Or other aspects too.
You dirty pervert, you.

Santa sure has style.
I wonder if he joined that club about the mile?
Either way,
They sure are having a merry day.

Santa is kinky too.
That I never knew.
With one crack of this whip,
No Dasher or Dancer will come from his lip.

For those up close and personal times.
When you want to scare even mimes.
Shove your gift in a bag,
And watch Santa's ass sag.

Then do the locomotion.
And make a commotion
Or would that be disco?
Santa sure shows more than his toe.

Now can you imagine those gifts under the tree? All will stop and surely see. Although you may have to cover the kiddies eyes. But they won't be wise. For they will be too busy with their toys while the wrapping paper can give you joys. Such paper does come to pass for all the get a gift from Cass and my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

58 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Beat old one eye
      Sure to make her cry

      Delete
    2. I was here first but he totally shoved me out the way. I even skinned my knee when I fell down and had to get a band aid! I'll be limping all day now. Probably get made fun of too. Waaahhh!!!

      Delete
    3. Err umm wrong post?
      For this whiny boast?

      Delete
  2. How did you get my wrapping paper? Merry F'n Christmas is my motto! Nah, I love Christmas, it's a time to bond (bitch and moan) at my kids and hubby!

    PS: My gift still hasn't arrived?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah bitchig and moaning sure works for you
      As you like to whine at your zoo haha
      I guess border patrol would not let it cross
      And I use the wrapping paper all the time, so some are at a loss haha

      Delete
    2. I will sit and wait patiently for my gift to arrive then. Perhaps it's at the golden loo?

      Delete
    3. Perhaps that is where it went
      I guess you will have to visit Trump's tent

      Delete
  3. seriously people disturb me at some point...hahaha i guess the moon one would make a fun gag (stress gag) gift for the holiday rift

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha disturbing many can be
      But fun to use on the adults at ones sea
      Moon away
      Each and every day

      Delete
  4. Now I get it
    Logically it fits
    Adult wrappers
    for adult toys
    Santa gets it easy
    No confusion on delivery

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah would not confuse
      So how can he lose
      As he lets it fly
      For each adult under the sky

      Delete
  5. Yikes....
    not wrap for grandchildren's bikes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope not at all
      Just for adults at each hall

      Delete
  6. Santa stuffed
    her chimney
    what a lovely
    ditty.

    And sliding
    down his pole
    with a
    happy glow
    Holly did
    sing Ho-Ho-Ho.

    So the
    Angels sang
    with great
    delight
    Santa Claus
    is coming
    tonight!

    This was a good one Cat. Bloody hell, you shocked even me. My FIL would love it if I wrapped a gift for him in one of these. My MIL would have a heart attack-really it's a win-win for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL the cat uses it on one and all
      At his hall
      Except those with kids
      As they would flip their lids
      So fun so see
      What one lookers think and watch them flee

      Delete
    2. When do you start your vacation from work? Seventeen days away from the place will do you some good. Do you post on Christmas day?

      Delete
    3. I will be off work come Thursday at 4:30, thankfully
      Hopefully I can get some extra healing done at my sea
      But God only knows
      As I'll prob move the wrong way and cause more woes
      Oh yeah christmas day is all done
      I post every single day under my sun
      Surprising how many come
      By on the day to give a hum

      Delete
    4. Is there anything herbal or alternative medicine that could help you?

      I went home for Christmas last year, so I didn't know if you would. I may pop in for a hello if I get the chance.

      Delete
    5. Tried that too
      Cupboard looks like a candy bar at our zoo
      With herbal this and that
      Even shots in the neck of Pat
      Hasn't worked one bit
      And yeah I'll be around my pit
      For can't do much else with this shit
      So here the cat will sit

      Delete
  7. I seem to recognize one, too
    The Mister gave me a look and said, "From who?"
    "From Pat Hatt!
    You should have guessed that!"
    lol
    I just want to know what Nanny says there
    when Santa shows without his underwear.
    hahaha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha they both give me a look
      That they are disturbed at their nook
      And then open away
      Saying give me that dirty present on display
      Funny as hell though
      When a neighbor comes to their show
      As she is a prude
      So she thinks it is rather rude haha

      Delete
    2. Oh, you just love to ruffle their feathers
      and the neighbor's too, with your wrapping endeavors!
      At least they don't faint
      with those pictures you paint!
      hahaha

      Delete
    3. haha nope they just pretend they don't see
      And causes me glee
      When stupid neighbor comes
      And stomps off with her flapping gums

      Delete
  8. And here I already went to the trouble of wrapping my parents' gifts. I guess I'll have to wait until next year to give them a gift covered in penises, horny Santa, and Santa being ridden by some morbidly obese granny. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well at least now you can plan ahead
      And cause them a little dread
      But oh it is fun
      To give such gift wrap a run

      Delete
  9. I would love the merry fucking christmas box! But it looks like they reused the angel sexy time wrap gift design for the santa claus and mrs. claus sexy time wrap paper.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they just switched out the two
      I guess they wanted to get frisky also for all to view

      Delete
  10. Holly Christmas Santa ~ ha..ha...I will keep the wrapper for posterity ~ Thanks for the smiles this dreary morning ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha glad I could get a smile
      With wrappers oh so vile

      Delete
  11. LOLOLOLOL I couldn't help laughing at all the naughty wrappers!!! :D

    ReplyDelete
  12. Replies
    1. hahaha that it can be
      If kiddie's are at ones sea

      Delete
  13. Who knew Santa was getting so much action, even with back fat????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Must be some attraction
      To get all that action

      Delete
  14. Wow Pat, the angels, you know, doing it is disgusting haha as is Santa getting it on! I have no idea where you found all of these from but I do know that I got a lot of kicks out of reading this post, I can't believe that anybody would wrap in this. Coal for those who send presents using bags with bad language on it as well haha, a rough and ready way to enjoy Christmas today over at your bay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guess I will get coal
      For I give it with a stroll

      Delete
  15. I can't believe you even found this stuff. Something is not right about angels engaging in that behavior! Totally twisted!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha maybe it a We're No Angels type deal
      Where they aren't real

      Delete
  16. I never laughed so much at your shore.
    Thank you, Pat and cat.
    Encore! Encore!
    Then again, I don't need to see more.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha not sure there is more
      Dirty wrap for an encore
      But I could look
      And show it off at my nook

      Delete
  17. The balloon strings on those penises make them look like worms, not cute!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha blah either way
      With their display

      Delete
  18. MOL !!!! ...orlin N cassie yur dad's post two day bee crazed....R moms dad wood love ta haz that "merry F'in box" !!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha so much fun
      To give them a run
      On some humans around
      Where much fright can be found

      Delete
  19. Naked angels?
    That's a great touch!
    They get me excited.
    'Cause I don't get out much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With that kitchen fix
      No wonder you like such tricks
      Having to build and rip
      While the angels get a grip

      Delete
  20. One of my sister-in-laws thought it would be funny to send me PJs with bunnies doing x-rated things. Except she had planned for me to open them in front of my new boyfriend's mother. My new boyfriend's very catholic mother. Fortunately my sil decided to warn me in the end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha good thing she did
      As sounds like his mother might have flipped her lid

      Delete
  21. This specialty paper really chaps my hide! How am I supposed to feel good tearing open things wrapped in this artistic greatness?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm I guess you won't have to tear
      Just go easy to keep it oh so rare

      Delete
  22. Whoa! Inappropriate Santa! And we thought he was really busy making toys this time of year, not love!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hope none of you got dizzy
      Seeing Santa get busy

      Delete
  23. hahaha. I've seen odd cards before but this takes the cake. You're right though, the kiddies never pay attention to the wrapping paper, they tear right through so quickly and then they want to play with their toy immediately, forgetting they still have more to open, and then when they open the new one they forget about the old ones..these wrapping papers are hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they won't take much in
      As they just want to add to their bin
      Playing with each toy
      Not caring about Santa's umm joy

      Delete
  24. If I gave Theresa anything giftwrapped like this she'd kill me. :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha so you are scared of her?
      Might just make her eyes blue

      Delete