Give them a chain saw.
It has no flaw.
They can scare away all in view.
Like those carolers that bother you.
Their own personal slave?
This isn't really a fave.
But some might like it I suppose.
Both of them curl my toes.
They will thank you for this.
It surely can't miss.
Some second hand smoke,
Making them choke.
If they are hard up.
Forget that coffee cup.
Give them a genetically modified lass.
One with a tiny green mass.
You could always give them a postman.
Many might be a fan.
They could get their mail fast.
Plus going postal is quite the blast.
Give them a huge thrill.
Increase their electric bill.
That will make them suck back the liquor.
Don't forget to put them on a clicker.
A parking ticket is great too.
It is surely something new.
A gift that makes them pay.
They will thank you one day.
Umm well if you want to scare.
Give them such an evil stare.
Don't forget the ho ho ho,
And to give off that Santa glow.
Why not just make them fat?
Then next year you can give them a gym mat.
See forward thinking works.
Twinkies sure do have their perks.
This awesome ski mask,
Will sure do the task.
Then next year no present will have to be bought.
For in jail they will rot.
Now you can't say you can't find a gift. The cat has filled the rift. You will all have an idea now thanks to my little meow. So buy away and spread the cheer at your bay. Maybe throw in some laughing gas and you will surely be thanking my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.