Friday, December 21, 2012

The Big Day When Boom Goes Your Bay!

Stocked up at your sea? I have some extra toilet paper just in case the world does flee. I mean you have to hedge your bets, right? But is this day a fright? Yeah, it is about as scary as a toad on the road, a nun on the run, a man with a plan, a dick whacking stick and you get the picture from there. Although that last one would be scary anywhere.

So the world is toast,
That is what some boast.
But it's all be said,
By people long past dead.

Oh no!
The world's gonna blow.
Shiver me timbers and all that fluff.
Things are about to get rough.

Oops, we are still here.
The end isn't near.
Oh such and such says this,
So that is why the end was amiss.

What a crock of shit.
Is all I can say about it.
Planet whatever is one big joke.
Plus we are the ones that are going to croak.

The world will be here long after we're gone.
Humans and their egos are what's the con.
No big grand day,
Is going to smite us and make us pay.

People need to get that through their damn head.
And stop being force fed,
All this trash,
About planets, black holes and the world ending bash.

It is NOT going to happen all at once.
Anyone to think so is a dunce.
One magic day,
Poof, the world will just go away.

Right! You nitwit.
Keep screaming your dumb fit.
What is going to screw us, is us.
Unless you're lucky and get hit by a bus.

Global warming or some actual known crap,
Is what will make us take a nap.
But the world will still be around,
And no one magic day will be found.

Religious nuts can claim their crap,
Mayan studying nitwits can circle the map.
The Internet can make up something,
Even uncle Sasquatch can give it a ring.

Doesn't mean a damn thing at all.
Ooh there is strange writing on the wall.
Just means some cavemen was bored while taking a dump.
He probably even used the "you know" before it could clump.

So you just touched crap on a wall,
As you gave your world ending call.
How did it feel?
Shocking how such nimrods ever invented the wheel.

That is that from the cat. Tomorrow there will be no change for you, the cat or Pat. Except that of the norm and true to form. Which means we will all be more old and death will be closer to taking hold. But forget that cheery thought for on the 22nd these idiots and their world ending crap can finally go rot. Oh wait. They got the wrong date. It will now be December 24, 2134 when it comes to pass. At least I will be a dead little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

69 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I thought I had a chance today. If I had a faster computer I'd have won.

      Delete
    2. Yeah my computer is junk too
      Have to hit the keys for them to come into view

      Delete
  2. gragaph, mmdorff aaaaaaa

    (i would leave a more intelligent comment, but the zomiez already got my brainz) end of the world and at my bay it rains & winds hard enough to make the trees bend, so i will live and go on about my way and tomorrow wake to see if we survived the day

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All garbled as a zombie man
      Maybe you need to go south and get a tan haha
      And yeah pfft to that
      See you tomorrow at my mat

      Delete
  3. 'Tis stupid
    as snot
    and all
    have brain rot.

    I'm here
    to stay
    till one
    fine day when
    causes natural
    come my way.

    It is amazing at the sheer stupidity of some people. It's rubbish.

    Today is going to be a great day for me. I can just feel it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah some people are soooo gullible and idiotic
      Making the whole mess chaotic
      Thinking how one day all will just disappear
      They have no brains even in their rear

      Delete
    2. We're having our first snow over here today. Some people will look at that as a sign that the end is nigh. I'll be back later to see if we're both still alive. Have a good one Cat.

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    3. haha well in some time zones
      Hasn't the clock alreay struck doomsay tones?
      Meaning pfff to that
      And yeah saw snow on the way home to that other mat

      Delete
    4. We're still alive Cat. Not sure what time it is in Australia. I'm off to make a lasagna Cat.

      Delete
    5. Yeah still alive
      Wow that was sooooo hard to survive

      Delete
  4. Well I'm gonna be napping so if the world ends somebody needs to wake me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the case here too
      As nothing to fear will come into view

      Delete
  5. I am at work and no....I wish people would stop making these predictions, it's all business you know.

    I see the tagline but fortunately no snow here yet ~

    Have a good day Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No snow is grand
      Across any land
      And yeah it will be over come tomorrow
      Until some other lore some idiot decides to borrow

      Delete
  6. Human beings are all about the drama. Happy Christmas!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they are
      Merry Christmas to your bar

      Delete
  7. Hi! Pat Hatt, Orlin and Cassie Cat...

    It's almost the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring not even Orlin and Miss Priss squeaky toy mouse...

    ...and those predictors called "dooms-dayers" said, today the world is going to come to an end, but here I'm leaving my 3rd comment [as the year end] at your place my friend...LOL

    deedee :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pat Hatt...
      You and your readers, may want to check-out this article doomsday-stock-up-and bunker down ...
      I hope to return here 1 min.past Midnight...lol

      Delete
    2. What a bunch of crazy people indeed
      But I suppose some things they need
      Should they want to survive the night time
      Might get struck by a big scary mime

      Delete
  8. Replies
    1. Yeah pretty much
      Pfft to paradise and such

      Delete
  9. To depressed to write, I'm losing the contest...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I voted for you
      Maybe I can make two

      Delete
    2. Hmmm I could try
      On a different ip under my sky

      Delete
    3. I don't think the polls are closed, so you may have till Monday to get some votes. Call your family and friends and get them voting.

      Delete
    4. Yeah that works too
      Bum for all to vote for you

      Delete
  10. Where is that printer, I think I will smash it...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If my arm wasn't junk
      I'd bash such a junk hunk

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    2. But if we smash the printer, what would your rhyme be?

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    3. Enjoy your winter
      Don't get an eye splinter when you smashed the printer
      Too wordy I suppose
      But who knows

      Delete
  11. It was stupid as shit
    I didn't even consider it
    I have to much to be grateful for
    to be worried about stupid lore
    The calendar will just start again
    and we can continue to be friends!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that it will
      Then all will feel ill
      With their high bill
      From buying doomsday crap at their hill

      Delete
    2. I still have much junk
      from my hurricane funk
      at least it will last
      for the next winter blast

      Delete
    3. That is true
      But rather one not come due
      For the stupid snow
      Should never blow

      Delete
  12. I wondered if the printer would return
    as of the world's end we learn.
    And it's the first day of winter
    guess they didn't want to get a splinter
    shoveling snow
    so away the world would go!
    wouldn't want it to end in summer
    missing the sun would be a bummer!
    haha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is true
      No summer coming due
      But technically as well
      Summer is when the world should have blew to hell
      For the Mayan's had no leap year
      So taking away those days from beginning to now
      Means July is when the world should have taken its bow
      So full of crap they are
      And the printer has to come back at my bar haha

      Delete
  13. People must be really bored
    so many people join the horde
    and some hope to reap reward
    from fake end-of-world chord

    Arise I say, and live today
    Put energy into awaiting Santa's sleigh
    that's a truth for ALL I say
    let's kick those doomsdayers away!

    Have a good day today and tomorrow and tomorrow!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That I will
      As each day continues at my hill
      And yeah those nuts
      Have sniffed one too many butts
      And away they will go
      Come tomorrow

      Delete
    2. I definitely agree.
      Tie those nuts to a tree.
      Tee hee.

      Delete
    3. haha and now they were all wrong
      With their stupid world ending song

      Delete
  14. You should make a rhyme about how my birthday is on the same day as doomsday. AKA today :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Should have warned me in advance
      Could have taken such a stance

      Delete
  15. "What is going to screw us, is us."

    Amen, brother!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep will be us
      That puts us under the bus

      Delete
  16. It is pathetic the extent to which folks have prepped for this day. Yet the Mayans never predicted an end to the world, just an end to an era. People are stupid. And your point about egos is well taken.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that they are
      Near and far
      Believing such junk
      Be glad when the day is over and all know it to be bunk

      Delete
  17. I loved this post Pat but I'm glad that the world didn't end because I'd miss you at your bay in all honesty so it's great that you're still here. Great rhymes even though I'm 45th on your blog this time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah a bit low
      But what do you know
      Still here to cheer
      And pass gas from my little rhyming rear

      Delete
  18. Ha. My aunt broke up with her boyfriend because he has over 1000 rolls of toilet paper in his house. Preparing. Lolz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL but with the TP
      Ones butt will be clean and shiny

      Delete
  19. yuhuu Pat!:) we are still alive too lol
    but I dont think would be different lol
    so see you tomorrow in this land
    if I still I alive:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah all are alive
      I guess the Mayans and nuts be sad they were able to survive

      Delete
  20. So we're all still kicking.
    And shooting each other.
    Global clock still ticking.
    Too bad it is, brother.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is true
      Sad state to view
      If only nuts would get a room
      And just bring about their own doom

      Delete
  21. Hooray for the non-apocalypse, I guess.

    (Also, I'm oddly excited that it's printer-smashing season again.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah printer smashing season is fun
      Love going back there under my sun

      Delete
  22. All I know, is now that all this Mayan hocus pocus is through, perhaps we shall be able to move on…hahaa but seriously, the ancient Mayan spirits must hate the cat, as you took the fight to their prophecy better than any other this one's seen, perhaps a few kick them while their down moments will come about.

    Actually quick funny story.

    Was at grocery store yesterday. There was this older hispanic woman and her teenage daughter/relative or whatever shopping. I was trying to decide which flavors of yogurt when I heard a voice yelling (sort of) at another. So nosy me popped up the eyes and this woman had put 5 gallons of milk in her cart. The daughter was saying things like, why so many, they'll go bad etc…the mother said but the world will end, we need the milk…then, the daughter had the best line, which I'll repeat verbatim…"WHAT! do you even know what you're saying…(a pause) (mother looks befuddled) if the wold ends we'll be dead and won't have any use for all this milk/) I couldn't help laugh, but just out of a skit, the mother came back with, "but we'll have milk." The young girl just walked away…it was classic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO that is too funny
      Wasting the milk money
      And be dead anyway
      Must have been a fun display
      And yeah all the Hocus Pocus is through
      Can't believe anyone thought it was true

      Delete
  23. I'm still alive! Maybe the apocalypse is late or something.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It could be
      Or maybe we all died and don't know it yet at our sea

      Delete
  24. I told my students I hadn't prepared the lesson for I expected them to be dead. You should've seen the look on their faces haha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahaha that would have been funny to see
      Might not have caused them glee

      Delete