Thursday, May 31, 2012

The Me And My Thinking Cap Rhyming Rap!

Meandmythinkingcap thought it would be fun
To give the cat a comic run.
Thanks to Blabber, who will get her due,
She put the cat in a tutu.

The cat can take the joke,
And will never choke.
But I have to scratch the itch,
As payback is a bitch.

So what kind of thinking cap does she use?
There are so many that telling you might confuse.
So showing is the only way,
Here is her secret stash she has on display.


This one is rather odd at first,
But it is to protect her brain burst.
Plus you can pop a piece off and provide an air hole,
I hear a lot of those are needed for her thinking goal.


This one scare the kids,
Really makes them flip their lids.
I guess it so she can be her own stuffing,
Pretending her thoughts are more than fluffing.


This is when she needs some extra booze,
Or maybe it is just ooze.
So then the brain juice will flow,
And she can at least have a nice shiny glow.


Remeber that hole?
Now she covers it with a flag pole.
Then just taps the golf ball in,
When she thinks she is going to win.


This is when things get real hot,
And she thinks a whole lot.
She needs a power snack,
For such a "you're right" thinking attack.


It's alllllliiiiivvvvveeeeee!!!
Comes from her hive.
Yet it still won't light up with a thought.
Even when she is thinking a whole lot.


What was she thinking with this?
At least her head you can't miss.
Like a stamp that says look at me,
I'm completely crazy!


Here is one the really works for her though,
As she uses sticks and writes things down on the go.
Now she doesn't have to remember one bit,
Of course unless she forgets where she put it.


This one is on her wish list,
For she shakes her fist.
As her thoughts could be a double decker,
If only she had a ummm pecker.


And of course we come to her pride and joy.
The one that is more than just a toy.
For with this one she is raring to go,
Where? I'll let your mind continue such a flow.

So now you know about meandmythinkingcap's secert stash and the caps she likes to flash. Don't you just love how the cat can get the dirt? I bet with that last one she sure can flirt. So think twice before crossing the cat as payback will come at my mat, all in good fun of course but as you see you will suffer my recourse. So what to do about Blabber's little addition to this thing hmmm I suppose that is another ring. For payback has come to pass and it was such fun for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

And From A Backyard Zoo Comes Something For All To View!

Now besides her twin, The Gawker, old Numb Tongue has been here quite the long time. Each and every person has also probably seen her rhyme in the comments below when they visit my show. She's been doing that for almost as long as the cat. Even coming back each day for a second go at my bay and third and fourth and you get the idea I hope before I count too high for some dope. Oops! Did I offend thee? Blame it on Betsy.

And of course the cat does that same at her sea thus knowing the numb tongue of she. But once upon a time there came a grape face and he looked so proud at her place that the cat had a thought and so he started to plot. Then out came what you see below and Betsy did not even know. The cat had a hard time biting his tongue about this one as yep, another children's book has been spun.

Boo and the Backyard Zoo has come due and it's PUBLISHED too!!!





Published by Wayman Publishing as well. The cat just had to once more ring that bell. And so there you go. The third children's book from my show. And it's all because of Betsy and Grape Face that brought this one to my place. Good way to thank her for all the fun and Nugget is the bad guy so you can apologize to him for me under your sun.
Now you can become a fan of all from a Stumpy Skunk to the Kitty Kat Clan as they try and free poor Grape Face and send him into space. But can they get around the evil Nugget and his parakeets? I guess that you will have to learn through reading or maybe cheating with tweets. Now I need to once more get crass and so that is all from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Opening It Can Be Quite dVerse Making You Curse!

Ever get something that is a pain and makes you want to pop a vein? I mean by opening the thing up with the stupid wrapper causing a hiccup. You stab it and yank it and stab it some more. That plastic makes it seem like something of lore. Really annoying I must say. I guess they want to make you work for it at your bay.

Your pretty item is in the mail,
You get it and give a wail.
Want to see it right away.
But then you are caused dismay.

The thing is stuck,
What the duck?
This plastic is worse than super glue.
And all you can do is view.

Stabbing it comes to mind,
You grab the first thing you can find.
So and take your pen,
Stabbing it at your den.

Oops, the pen broke,
Now ink is making you choke.
But you will not give up,
As you knock down your coffee cup.

Smash! It breaks to pieces on the floor.
Adding another chore.
But screw that for now.
Could be a blessing some how.

You take the biggest piece of glass,
And stab it in mass.
Oops! You cut yourself some,
Now you swear the thing is dumb.

But it will not win.
You bash it with a tin.
A frying pan too,
And drown it in the loo.

Bleach the thing to melt it off,
As you continue to scoff.
You finally get wise,
Hauling out scissors on the rather large size.

You go to chop the thing,
And the two halfs fling.
Meaning the scissors break in two.
Now whatever will you do?

Smash it with a hammer,
For causing such a clamor?
Then that would signal defeat.
And you will not be beat.

So you stamp return to sender,
Saying it was put through a blender.
And wait for your replacement one.
Declaring this time such a tail will not be spun.

Until it is once more,
As the plastic gives an encore.
If only it was made of rubber,
Or at least could amuse and dance like Flubber.

Now was that not dVerse? For that plastic crap can make one curse. A chop here and a chop there and all you can do is stare. For the thing won't open with ease and is such a tease. But if you stab it just right your item will see the light. By then you are too tired to care and you know it is not that rare. All a ploy to cause sass so all will hear of the product including my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 28, 2012

The Case Of Mr. Blue On Whoopdi Friggin Doo!

Robbie is here. That is Raisin, Robbie Raisin. So have no fear. I had to get the cat away from his New York yapping as I knew your foot was tapping. But an important update really has come to light. Zombie Foot has returned this night. Scroll below and see that butt ugly toe. No? You are right it will not show. For even bigger news has come out that I must give a shout. Whoopdi Friggin Doo has learned that Mr. Blue is no longer in anyones view.

It seems some one , cough alliance cough, has kidnapped the blue guy and taken him somewhere to make him cry. I hear they are going to torture him with fluffy feathers and fools gold. How can anyone be so cold? We here at Whoopdi Friggin Doo have our suspicions on who it is, cough poo people cough, but first we have to have everyone answer a one question quiz. Then the really culprit or culprits will come to light and Robbie Raisin will save the blue guy from such an awful plight.

Answer this question and that is not a suggestion:

Where were you on the night the moon was three times bigger than a cow and the farmer broke his plow?

Come on, don't be shy. We need to find the little blue guy.

Besercules:
Thats extreem rhyming! Experience spring, have a fling? Dang, being in a relationship is wrecking my spring!!

Likely story using your relationship in all its glory.

Fred:
Oh my God, did the cat just eat mother goose?

Don't change the subject. I'm marking you down for neglect.

Anne:
Do you like the taste of anti-freeze?

I knew you were sick. You surely get a tick. High up on the list of those that did it. I will be back to you in a bit.

Betsy:
oh dear and think of the blisters on the lobe from limping along the open road wishing that it had a shoe as it stumbles along saying boo-hoo.

Don't think I am going to fall for your pretend sympathy for him. Do you think Robbie Raisin is dim?

A Beer For The Shower:
Because this is sheer brilliance the likes of which neither of us can touch

Don't try and butter me up. I'm on to you and that alcohol in your cup.

Daydreamertoo
You've got me a crazy assed as you are!

That is a strike against the Brit. I'm watching you for you might have thought he was a wanker and you are behind it.

Elisa:
That's exactly what I wanted to write

You wanted to say wanker or crazy assed? I think you've been gased. Go lie down. You did not steal the blue guy from crazy town.

Al Penwasser:
Well, well, well. "Penwassa on the toilet throne" That cat of Pat is sure swell to throw this old dude a bone.

But you did not catch the bone. I heard that groan. You are on my watchlist too. I will keep another eye on you.

Gloria
i know you "dear"

You know me? Pfft go to some other sea. You will not cook this raisin up or put me in some cup.

Dezmond
hope I don't get all blue after this rubbing business :)

You all but admitted to it. I see that blue paint from your rubbing fit. You are going in the cell and I hope for all that awful rubbing you go to Hell.

DWei
All he did was yell. Come on! Punch a monkey a least

Are you in on it too? Punching is a sure fire clue.

meandmythinkingcap
You Blasphemer?Flushed away?

I'm the one asking the questions here. Is that clear?

Mary
You did it again with your mighty pen

I did what? Have you been sniffing a butt?

YeamieWaffles
I know I'd do my best to buy it!

You think the milk carton is for sale. Oh that is just an epic fail!

Elsie
You better check yourself Before you wreck yourself Cause I come real stealth

Don't give me that tough guy talk. Take your eyeball and go for a walk.

Jax
Fleas on knees?? For the love of god!!! What did I do now?! lol And suck it up buttercup??? Hmph!

Pfft! I'm not even wasting my time on you. Once you saw he was blue you'd go scrub down thinking he had some disease. What is it with you and fleas on knees?

Adam
I miss Johnny five I hope theres nothing wrong with his disk drive

This happened in the here and now. Get out of the 80's and fix the farmer's plow.

Baur
I'll join the Armstrong man if he doesn't mind i'm his fan or steal my van.

So you were the getaway driver you say? Oh that just makes my day. Get in the cell! You too can go to Hell.

Jaya J
the Zebra Thong keeps playing in my mind

My god! You made him wear a thong? That is just soooo wrong. In the cell with you. That is just so eww.

The Angry Lurker
I'm with Waffles

You want to buy the milk too? Tell me it is not true.

Hank
Can we expect Cat to fear Or stick around and play ball

I expect you to answer my damn question now! Or go save the cow.

Grace
I heard he is very protective of his mate..and yeah, he can attack.. so I will just stare at his devotion

So the blue guy put up a fight? Glad to know he did not go quietly into that good night.

Brian
so why did the chicken cross the fricken road, and was he lazy and cross in the middle or just crazy, maybe just a little, but when you walk the jay be careful

Figures you'd be gawking and chicken stalking. You're off the hook all you do is look. Wait! What are you pointing at? Who cares about the cat. What? You spy a blue guy? What the poo? This can't be true.

RCB
What's wrong with you people? You're always talking about poo.We need to add a bit of variation to the mix: crap, defecation, discharge, dung, excrement, excretion, fecal matter, feces, feculence, flux, manure, number two, shit, stool, waste. Amen.

Hmm upon second look it seems everyone is off the hook. I got the wrong blue guy as someone told me a lie. But Robbie Raisin is not at fault. You nuts can stay locked in the vault. That is all for today as whoopdi friggin doo fades away.

********************

And my money was on R too. I wonder why he never came into Robbie Raisin's view? Don't you love when people come to visit the cat even if they are raisins and other strange things you want to squash flat? The blue man was also quite crass, naming everything that comes out of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Going To The Fair To Leave Some Cat Hair!

So dVerse wants to go to a fair or was that have an affair? Hmmm that could get people in trouble showing things that are bare. So we won't go there and get back to the fair. Maybe some guy will pull out a hare. Do you really care? What if is it a pair? That would be rare. Let's just pay the fare before you become aware that you might see a mare and do something bad on a dare, like maybe molest a care bear. See what happens when you rhyme all the same? Things do not end up tame. Anyway, away we go and on with the fair show.

Things go round and round,
Scary women are found.
They have a beard,
That is just weird.

Tip toeing on a rope,
A cannon shooting dope.
All things that could be rare,
Or kill those unaware.

Don't you love a fair?
Rigged games make you beware.
Unless you want to lose your dough,
Or put on a womanly show.

Like showing off,
But in the end you'll scoff.
Just see that clown,
With his bright smile or frown.

Walking on big sticks,
Parading around all the hicks.
Falling down and hitting his head,
Like Billy Madison type dread.

The ferris wheel,
Is quite the steal.
For you can ride above all,
Then wait for it to stall.

Stare at the sky,
And give climbing down a try.
Down what, who knows.
But I'm sure a bruise shows.

Spaceships come too,
As a rocking boat umm rocks you.
People hurl as well,
That just makes for quite the nasty hell.

A big hammer,
Might make one stammer.
As away it will go,
And it slams down going high or low.

Could mean you're weak,
Or maybe just a geek.
Or you could be strong,
Like the cavewoman wearing a thong.

That image is so wrong,
Could sing a song.
Zip a dee do dah or something like that,
And the candy may make you fat.

But don't worry one bit,
For with such a fit,
You will roll down a hill,
No coaster needed for a thrill.

Let the bright light flash,
And make a dash.
To the fair,
Next to your lair.

So there is my fair memories and such, as it has been a while so I may be a tad out of touch but either way it made for a circus type day. Isn't that always the case here? Maybe I should have went back and quoted my little rhyming rear. Of course that would lead to lots of gas so better off going to the fair with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Okay You Stinkin American Crazies! Time To Stop Smelling The Drugged Up Daisies!

So Pat was in a diner once more down in New York and yes he even managed to use a fork. Still wish they had those up here but I guess I'm SOL with that I fear. Anyway, on to the topic of today. For at your stinkin American bay, I found something out that Blabber, Pat and many other people went on and on and on about. Pat sat down for breakfast and saw bacon there and it said Canadian by it reminding him of his lair, so he figured what the hell and ordered some thinking it would be swell. Feck that! For I smell a rat.

What came was HAM! They slapped it down with a bam and it was stinkin ham and not bacon what so ever. So Canadian Bacon is ham? That is quite the endeavour. What nut case thought this stupid idea up? It seems every Canadian I ask thinks you Americans are drinking straight rum in your cup. Meaning you are out of your mind. Did you just pull such a name from your behind?

You should call bacon, bacon and ham, ham. Do you have another name for jam? Maybe Russian Moose? Or Chinese Goose? Makes no sense what so ever. So why the hell would some nut job think of naming ham Canadian Bacon and think it was clever? Stupid in every way! Ham is ham and bacon is bacon at our bay. There is no difference what so ever in the bacon we have up here and the one down there I fear. So you don't need to take your crummy ham and rename it blaming it on Canadians because it isn't a hit.

Don't believe me? Look it up at your sea. Every Canadian thinks you guys are insane for believing such a thing down at your lane. I hate dairy and find it rather scary, so maybe I'll name it American Milk from now on and the idea would spread from my lawn. The milk is all the same but naming it American Milk gives me someone to blame.

Why stop there though? Let's blame prune juice on Sweden and bananas on Eden. Let's blame headaches on the Irish and raw fish on some bad India wish. Penguin Man gets blamed for pringle cans though. I'm sure he'll like the fame of it from my show. But either way it is so dumb and someone obviously pulled this from their bum. Ham is ham and bacon is bacon and that is it! Anyone who says differently is a nitwit. And that is putting it nicely I will say and so ends the rant of the day. Pat already went through this with that Blabber lass but it also had to be done by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Elsie Needs To Be Told After Making Pat and Blabber Go For The Gold!

So back somewhere along the way Elsie decided to tell Pat and Blabber how she went down a golden well. I'm not sure how she did it though for while at the NY show Pat and Blabber tried to give it a go. That is right! All the way to NY to piss in a golden loo at Trump Towers to our delight. But they would not let us in to go in their golden bin. All the fancy guards would have tossed us yards. Of course we got laughed at by everyone we told. Think they were laughing with us or at us as it took hold? Anyway, Elsie is full of strat and the cat must make her pay on this very day.

That is what we tried to get too. Yes, for the first time in seven years Pat even used a public loo. But that is another story as well that I will later tell.  We did see plenty of those Asian guys though down stinky and nasty Chinatown row. So back to Elsie getting what she deserves for throwing us for swerves, telling us we could use a golden loo which simply was not true.

It was all an alliance trick I bet! You just wanted to make us fret! Well the joke is on you for making us try and go in that loo. For we gave them your location and name. Now they are coming after you knowing you are to blame. What for you ask? It seems a long time ago someone plugged up the golden loo when doing the daily task.

Then it went into overload and made Trump lose his wig errr umm hair making him a grump. Ever since then he has searched for the woman who messed up the loo in his den. So we wanted the reward and gave him the info we had stored. Now there is a hit squad out on your fake eye. All because of your golden loo lie. You better duck and cover too for they will track you down and fill up your loo. That is right! They are going to leave you a fright. For a thrill they will:

Take all your tp
And ditch it in the sea.
Leave an empty roll,
As they take a bathroom stroll.

Then fill up your loo,
With things that are ewww.
So fake eye of not,
Your nostrils will rot.

And as it goes all over the floor,
You'll remember never again to tell Pat or Blabber to explore,
A golden loo,
Which using it is totally untrue.

So have your plumber or plunger ready,
Hold either steady,
If that is your thing,
Down at your wing.

For no pringle can is in need,
As the hit squad comes to your feed.
To take a break,
And a mess they will make.

It was Blabber and Pat that gave them the info though, so don't blame the cat this time at his show. He was comfortable sending a pringle can. Maybe they'll do it when you're off getting a tan. Then at least the smell might go or it could linger a bit at your show. It could go right out into the grass and you know, the hit squad does delight my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Learn A Ton With A Vacation Run!

So as some may know and if you don't you should hang your head low. Pat ran away from the cat and went to visit NY and Blabber at her mat. Having been nowhere what so ever before it was quite the adventure from our shore. Elsie is going to get a roast in a post or three for her suggestion to us at the NY sea. But anyway this isn't particularly about there just yet but plenty of posts will come on that which is a safe bet. Instead I will copy Blabber at my shore and do a list once more. Oh wait! Hmmm those lists are for posts at a different date. Isn't it confusing when you have 40 posts ready to go? Anyway, on with the show.

1. Sure it gives the odd hum but you learn fear of flying is kind of umm maybe sorta dumb.
I mean if it goes boom you won't feel a thing from its doom.

2. Things are bigger on TV even though it only has a 46 inch screen to see.
Hmm I suppose they get a close up or Pat was drunk off his coffee cup.

3. You learn your picky eating is fleeting.
Pat even ate raw fish which was not a tasty dish.

4. You learn they hate NS people down there. At least when it comes to a taxi fare.
If you want to believe Blabber that is with this "No" biz.

5. You learn that if you were truly an internet stalker crazy person or something like that, you would be squashed flat.
Blabber will never again forget her phone giving all nothing but a tone.

6. You learn diners are great. But stupid Canada, or at least NS, has none which is such a sad fate.
That is true, Canada has a loose screw.

7. You learn China Town will make you frown.
Stinky place and that wasn't even the full blown effect in your face.

8. You learn camels can pee forever in a day and it is quite the nasty display.
No wonder the Sahara has such a big litter box and when you are around them watch your socks.

9. You learn there are truly wonderful people in this world in real life and not just nut bags that want to cause you strife.
The cat still isn't sure on that fact as Drazin keeps coming back with his third person act.

10. You learn more about yourself being away then you ever would have if all you did was stay.
Which I would say is the true joy in going anywhere and all should do it when they can as it will surely be done more at my lair.

Pat would surely like to thank Blabber for getting him away and also TheViking, Madre, Brother and the many others from Blabber's blog for making it such a fun stay.

The cat may have bitched more than a ton to get Pat back under our sun but after that it seems it was truly needed by Pat. Blabber also took good care of him and nothing happened with any crazy nut cases, excluding a towel guy who I will get too, that could make things go grim. So Pat is okay to travel once in a while I suppose as long as he never leaves us at nanny's to cause woes. It also causes quite the amount of gas for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Do Not Forget To Stop And Stare As Hazards Are Everywhere!

The cat should be back in the swing of things by the end of today. So he will once more get to each and every bay. Just so you know and then start posting here and there on the NY show.

Time to warn you of some hazards that are all around. So be very quiet and listen, not making a sound. These ones you must avoid from the normal to the paranoid. All must take heed of this oh so hazardous, awful, nasty, really really really bad stuff I'm going to show on my feed.

Isn't that the most awful hazard ever? A sharp edge should be touched never. You don't have to thank me just yet but by the end of this you will I bet.


Good luck? Really? What the duck? If you see this hazard on display run the other way. I bet you will get to where you want to go anyway and avoid driving into the bay.


This is the biggest hazard of all. For it has such a confusing call. Maybe pets are different for each and it means those you are trying to teach. Like your mate making them wear a leash as you go on a date.


Temptation is at its worst this time. For with such a hazard parents might feel in their prime. As they drop the kids off there and let them go to the circus with the guy that can continually stare.


This is a huge hazard too. For you are too busy reading this thing to watch what is coming at you. Then you turn back to the road and crush a poor toad. How mean of you? Notice how hazardous having this notice is to your view?


Soooo hazardous to you as you could end up part of the jailhouse rock crew. Remember there are laws against exposing one's self no matter what the sign says as it was probably made by a tricky elf.


This is as hazardous as can be. For those penguins will capture thee. They will work the secrets out of your head and leave you for dead. NEVER trust a penguin at all. Shoot them if they come to your hall.


This is the best ever. The maker has to be oh so clever. That way no hazards will befall you as you will be alert of anything that might come due. But of course the sign could fall over thanks to rover and flatten your car before you get very far. Just saying. So you may want to start praying.


That is a big no no. Especially if you want to keep everything down below. For if out your hand sticks it will be received by multiple kicks.


And the winner is this crazy hazard that wants to have you for dinner. Not satisfied with scaring you off and making you scoff. If you don't get shot dead this nasty hazard will double tap your head. Then you will be dined on for lunch. Can't you just hear the crunch?

So now you are wise to the hazards that are out there. From being eaten to stripping bare. Aren't you glad the cat is here for you? For without me what would you do? Poo in your shoe at half past two? I know that is just so crass and maybe even another hazard given to you by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The Cat Blazes A New Trail For This dVerse Tale!

The cat has realized he has been going about this thing all wrong at his sea. I need to make Blabber want to ship Pat back here to me. So what better way then to give some dVerse reasons to do so. For Pat must be boring her by now at her show. He has no ability to rhyme like the cat. Poor poor Pat. Read this Blabber and send him back. Last chance before the cat goes on the attack.

You can have a dog,
You can have a hog.
Go buy a shoe,
Or maybe even two.

For Pat is a cheap skate,
Doesn't eat much on his plate.
Such a bad date,
See your fate?

Better luck with that hawk,
Even if it makes you squawk.
Or some other animal at your zoo,
For Pat is full of poo.

That means bs,
Just in case you could not guess.
Think I'm wrong?
Remember the zebra thong?

Plus he doesn't mind Braveheart.
Knows the Goodnight John Boy part,
Of those people on the mountain,
And does childrens books with a magic fountain.

He steals your stinky bum phrase,
Knows one too many movie plays.
Isn't just a mutt person like you,
Which makes the cat blue.

Not really as it means send him back,
Stop causing the cat flack.
With this Tarsier Man nut,
Making me hang on a Speedy Moose butt.

Dealing with that loud mouth strat,
A word made up by Pat.
See! He can't even talk right,
Isn't that a fright?

Hmm what else can there be,
To get him sent back to my sea.
I suppose there is one,
That would not cause you fun.

He left catnip on the floor,
For a whole week at our shore.
What is that I hear?
Pat is coming near!

Ha! I can stop now, as it seems Blabber had a cow and sent Pat back. From what I hear he has hitched a flight back to our shack. That was easier than trying to deal with Tarsier Man, Drazin and the Speedy Moose. Blabber has set Pat loose. No more nanny's for Miss Priss and the cat. Too many damn cats at their mat. Blabber put up a sign telling Pat not to trespass and never make him again leave my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 21, 2012

From New To Old But The Cat Will NEVER Fold!

So last night the cat had a dream that Pat was playing for the other team. Now don't start to mutter and get your mind out of the gutter for it was dogs or maybe hogs I am talking about. Both of which Blabber likes to give a shout. It is a sign the cat has to get across the damn border and put things back in order. Before Pat gives use some butt sniffing mutt, a hog addicted to egg nog and a Blabber at our sea. I think we'd need a bigger bush number three.

But Miss Priss and I had figured out the best way for as I was dreaming away we were being shipped to Pat. That's right! I was mailed priority to Blabber's doormat. It's just too bad the mail guy had the mind of a baboon the stupid maroon. For we were sent to Old York instead. This is so hard on the head.

I want the New York not the Old York. Maybe we should have taken a stork. What you never heard of Old York before? Let me share with you what they have in store.


They have lots and lots of these so you might want to freeze and watch where you put your feet. I guaruntee stepping in one is not a treat.


They eat this gobbly goop. It's worse than the feed from a chicken coup. Made the cat want to hurl. Thankfully I found a nice juicy squirrel.


This is their slick mode of transport. It gets them from port to port in about ten days. They seem not to know that there are better ways. The cat can run faster then this. Oh how they hated the speed of the cat and Miss Priss.


Never fear at all. For what you see now does not grace their hall. I hear you giving a sigh of relief, as outhouses cause all such grief. Don't get ahead of yourself though for just look below.

This is where they use the loo. They share and it is quite cold on the butt too. Plus they never wash the seat or anything near it. This surely gave my OCD a fit. Can you say ewww? In every which way such an ewww is true.

This crap I could not take so we made for the nearest lake. And guess what? The stupid rowboat also was cursed by my little rhyming butt. It took us across the sea and we were once more in the home of nanny. The cat is really getting ticked off at the universe or whoever thinking they are so clever by stealing Pat away. Blabber is going to pay. At least here there are no cow patties in the grass. That is the only positive thing you will get today from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

No Plane Or Train Making Us Go Down The Third Person Lane!

Everything was booked from head to toe and so we could not get to Blabber's NY show. Then we spied a shadow we have seen time and time again of the one who is supposedly above mortal men.

"So what are you two fleabags going on about now? Drazin would ignore you but you did get Drazin off that planet."

"Just what we need, the chrome dome to help."

Drazin and Miss Priss did their usual rant and Drazin yapped about crushing her like an ant. But then he offered to pay us back by getting us to Blabber's shack. Of course he was a border patrol guy before we made him cry and lose his job way way way back but we all know about that attack. So he called in a favor and got a truck, not even having to pay a buck.

Of course the truck looked like it was going to fall apart and we would have better luck with a grocery cart, yet we gave it a go hoping to get to Blabber's show. We made it an hour and the truck no longer had power. We were stuck in the middle of nowhere with a moose giving us an evil glare.

"Drazin will teach that thing to stare at Drazin."

"You are quite the ugly mook, maybe he's just fascinated by your godly-ness."

Drazin ignored Miss Priss and went after the moose. He actually slapped it in the caboose. It turned and flung him into the trees and then stared at us as Drazin got chased by bees. The moose had super speed as it rammed the truck, stomping it like a weed. It split the truck in two and in the air we flew. Miss Priss and I landed on its back and the stupid damn moose ran us back to nanny's shack.

Is the whole world out to get us? I so want to cuss. First Blabber steals Pat and we get stuck at nanny's mat. Then Tarsier Man shows up too, Drazin couldn't even make it come due and a friggin Speedy Moose sent us back here to hang loose. I guess it is just our fate not to mess up their little play date. That doesn't mean the cat will stop. Don't like it? Call a cop. As another plan will come to pass and I will bring Pat back to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

A Little More Doom And A Lot More Gloom!

Damn it! We are still stuck in this pit. This stupid eyeball freak won't even let us go take a leak without staring us down like he is from pervert town.

Tarsier Man watches near and far,
So we can't leave nanny's bar.
But that is about to change,
For we have to get Pat back to our range.
And so another tale comes due,
Of this guy with the flying eyeballs that doesn't have a clue.

Tarsier Man showed up,
As we finished tiping over nanny's coffee cup.
She was busy cleaning up the mess,
Yes, we obviously did it on purpose I confess.

But while she was distracted off we went,
Sneaking out a vent.
Then Miss Priss got grabbed by that Tarsier Man nut,
And he snatched up my little rhyming butt.

He chucked us back into nanny's bay,
And told us to stay.
For he wanted to get his pay,
Boy, for the cat this was a crappy May.

His stupid eyeballs kept popping out here and there,
Making sure we were still at nanny's lair.
So we devised another plan,
That would rid us of Tarsier Man.

I pretended to use the loo,
And he watched having no clue.
Miss Priss snuck up from behind his floating eye balls,
As I made my pretend cat calls.

They were flung at me,
And as Pat does at bush number three,
I opened an empty Pringle can,
Slamming the lid back on and capturing the eyes of Tarsier Man.

We laughed and took off as his body twitched about,
Giving his stupid theme song a shout.
I'm sure he found his eyes soon enough,
And if not that is just tough.

For now we are free,
To bring Pat back to our sea.
Something I will surely do,
No matter how much he and Blabber try to prevent it at her NY zoo.
I will get that ex-minion lass,
If it's the last thing done by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Send Pat Back! I Hate This Shack!

Too many cats in this horrid place all getting up in my face. I need to find who stole Pat and get him back to our mat. It had to be one of you that much is true. So first I will track him down and then I'll have to skip town. For I can't take nanny's any more. Miss Priss and I need to flee this shore.

Suspect Number One and Two would be Dezmond and Anne at my zoo. With that little coalition they have going on there and all the threats they sent to my lair. It has to be those two that made this awful thing come due. So I sent Anne some liquor to get her to bicker and all I got was this little bit of bliss.

 "You are an eejit cat, I have no bloody Pat. Feck off and let me drink. Dig in my garden and I'll turn you pink."

I suppose that suspect is down and we all know Dez is her lacky dragon clown. So without her he couldn't pull off such a thing so those two are off the hook at my wing.

Suspect Number Three would be Brian taking his Gawker monikor seriously or maybe it left him cryin' and he wanted payback for me using it at my shack. Turns out he was too busy gawking up some mix matching sock guy when Pat flew across the sky. Another down making me frown.

So on to Number Four and that would be Betsy and her clean floor. After all she has been enticing Pat to come take some more cats from her shack. If he does I will go on the attack. Plus her whole underground thing could sneak him in but it can't be Betsy for the win. For when Pat left it was grocery day and you all know she can't miss that at her bay.

I thought about the blue guy and his bora bora lie. Then there was Fred but he knows I'd scratch his head. R is too wordy for Pat and Baur is too busy with his alien radar while Dwei takes a nap. Elsie is writing long posts and asking questions at her sea while Angry is well just too angry. Waffles is too far away too and Al has that nasty loo. The Fox would run Pat over like rover so that can't be and Elisa is too busy getting the Zombie Elf down from a tree.

Wait a second! Another isn't blabbering about at my hive. But she can't be suspect number five. For she is the cat's minion and would never steal Pat. Hmmm nothing much can stop Blabber from her display at my mat. Strat! She isn't around too which means she stole Pat from the cat. Oh that is not a very good minion at all. I have to flee this hall and get down there. Jax may just lose her minion status at my lair. So now with Cass it's time I left nanny's and found Pat using the skills of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

A Little Less Rhyme For A Time!

Not a huge rhyme in sight.
Losing my rhyming might?
Or could it be something else at my sea?
Like leaving bush number three.

Or at least that dirty human Pat,
Is skipping out on the cat.
So for a few days the rhymes may be less,
That I will confess.

I guess even a cat and stupid Pat,
Needs a reprieve once in a while at their mat.
But we will be back and around to read,
Each and every feed.

When? Who knows though,
As Pat has never ever left his show.
Besides Gawker Island and some other stuff,
Where Drazin too probably gave a huff and puff.

All the cat can say,
To whoever the thief that stole him today,
Is you better send him back,
So Miss Priss and I don't have to hang out with this other cat pack.

Hmmm this was supposed to be short.
I guess it just isn't the case at my court.
Oh well I will still rhyme each day,
Whether or not Pat is here to play.

You read that right for today stinkin' Pat is hitching a death trap flight. The mean human shut the computer off and changed his password. How absurd? So now the cat can't get on and rhyme as much as usual at his sea. Stupid Pat having to cross the border from bush number three.

I will fix Pat though for I'll sneak away from our show and get on another laptop somewhere and still occasionally, maybe, sorta visit my lair. But if you notice Pat isn't hopping around leaving comments everywhere at each and every lair, that is why he's off flying through the sky. And who is to blame for this coming about and making the cat pout?

Well that is another story and after the cat is done sulking he will tell it in all its glory. For now he's stuck with nanny giving her his fanny while Miss Priss is as regal as can be swatting at all the humans she can see. For now not as many rhymes in the comments below or at your show will amass. But unless Pat goes boom I will be back fully soon enough with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

We All Greet Never To Meet!

You know the cat or maybe Pat was told something a while ago, as he was trying to explain things to that other cat show. As he found non bloggers just don't get it I guess and trying to explain it left their mind in a mess. But then this was told to me and it made much more sense at that other sea. That the blogging world is a community indeed where each have their own feed but people join without the intention of ever meeting no matter the greeting.

Best explanation the cat has heard and even though non bloggers still don't get it and may think it absurd, it seemed to sink in a bit and they maybe, sorta got it. The point the cat is trying to make is even if ones name is fake, hiding behind a fake eye or some little blue guy. More is shared in one way or another on each feed for totally random people to read than most share with no more than a handful in real life, whether happy, sappy or some moment of strife. Are we all crazy or what? Yeah, I know I am a nut.

Trust in the unknown,
No matter the tone.
With each passing day,
The closer more become at each bay.

The feed takes a life all its own,
A fact not readily known.
For when one begins their feed,
Trying to get others to read.

None of this is even thought,
Except for maybe the odd robot.
Those are known to come and go,
But nothing is expected to grow.

The life of those far away,
Or even near your bay.
Worlds apart,
Like randomly throwing a dart.

A bullseye is hit,
And a relationship is lit.
The smallest act,
Creates a pact.

Rough days come and go,
Yet all continue to show.
Giving what many need,
No thoughts of ones own preservation or greed.

Might doesn't make right,
No need for fight or flight.
The pleasure of a few words each day,
Or many depending on who is having their say.

Is all that one comes to seek,
When each hop about taking a peek.
And as they continue to build,
Anonymity is essentially killed.

For the life of another,
Becomes like that of friend, sister or brother.
More known than that which is deemed real,
The fake becoming the real deal.

And so upon the blogging sands,
Many may never shake hands.
But from many we can detect,
An even greater respect.

The cat would rhyme no matter if he was here talking to himself all day long at his shelf. For there are enough voices in his head to last him until he's long past dead. But all of you certainly make it that much more fun and so we'll say for post 400 this was spun. Even if 400 has already come to pass this was close enough for my day with no sass. And yes the cat actually appreciates all of you and never thought when he started this such a thing would ever come due. But now I must finally be crass as off I go wiggling my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Get Here Quick For Some dVerse Spotted Dick!

Spotted Dick is yummy,
Spotted Dick is grand.
It can reach the tummy,
Or stick to your hand.

Get it by the penny,
Get it by the pound.
I hear there is plenty,
Even for a hound.

Sometimes it is rough,
Sometimes it is creamy.
One can never get enough,
When it's oh so steamy.

Show it at a party,
Show it at the mall.
Eat it with a smartie,
Roll it down the hall.

Serve it on a dish,
Serve it on a platter.
Don't forget to make a wish,
When you see the splatter.

Stock up for cold weather,
Stock up for the sun.
Eat Spotted Dick together,
And everyone has won.

Don't forget to clean,
Don't forget to re-use.
For you could make a scene,
When the garbage men stamp refuse.

If only there were more,
If only it was bigger.
I could make an encore,
Telling of its vigor.

You'll just need two,
To get things done.
Yes, it is true.
You can feed it to a nun.

So step right up,
And give it a lick.
Today you fill your cup,
With some Spotted Dick!


I'm sure you can imagine the cat's delight as he typed this up the other night. For I saw this at a shore here and there and knew it had to be done at my lair. I even shared it with dVerse so they can fill their purse. Doesn't it sound oh so tasty? Now don't be hasty. Pop the top and maybe it's like Pringles and you can't stop. Next time you go to the store ask for some Spotted Dick and I bet you will surely confuse even the smartest hick. Of course you may get a whole lot more on display but we won't go there today. I hear it also might cause gas so Spotted Dick could make me a totting little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Island Of The Gawker Part Ten Part Two Could Home Finally Come Due?

Petsy sent out a call and from out of nowhere birds began dropping animals from her hall. Blabber's tarsier stood in front of the crew ready to lead them when Petsy's call came due. Up from the ground came that L shaped hail we saw earlier in the cave and she continued to rant and rave.

"No earth is an island. The magic you seek is there, believe and the island can be earth."

"Yes, we get it. We are on another planet already. We're past that part."

"Oh! Well then let's kick these hooligans off this peak."

"This is just great. Not only does Drazin have to work with two fleabags, a guy whose lost his mind, a hair nutcase, a dumb Irish woman and an animal hoarder. But now Drazin gets to work with an L and an R. Why not bring in the whole damn alphabet? Great! Now what? Oh him too!"

Flying from below came Bersercules with his apes, they were even wearing capes. I guess they used the trees as slingshots to get them up here and they too wanted to carve The Gawker a new rear. This had become one crowded peak there was not even enough room to take a leak. But this is where it would end as we were going to send The Gawker around the bend. I told all it was sad but true that if we wanted to win we would have to join Blabber and Pat with their crazy view.

Petsy sounded the call and the horde of animals followed tarsier through The Gawker's hall. She did not seem stunned one bit and even used her numb tongue fit. For it was really eww but she took out many of The Gawker's crew, as she stretched her tongue from her head, whacking the glowy eyed freaks and causing them dread. They seemed to freeze upon her huge frog like tongues touch and The Gawker did not like that too much.

Drazin let his eyes glow and laser beams began to show. He cut through many with ease as I simply used my fleas. They grew five feet tall and stomped forth into The Gawker's hall. Miss Priss used her tail to send strains of fur flying, they were so sharp those glowy eyed freaks were surely dying. Irish Air opened her mouth and an echo of drums came out. It was such a loud shout that the glowy eyed freaks disinegrated on sight. Whoever she aimed her mouth at went not so quietly into that good night.

Blabber spun her hair and blocked anything that came our way sending it back at them and causing them dismay. While Pat used it as a shield and shot all with his finger when they would not yield. Besercules turned into a giant ape and ripped his poor cape. He stomped the glowy eyed freaks like King Kong. Some how him with no pants was just wrong. L used her hail to create a noose and wrapped herself around the neck of each glowy eyed freak making their head pop loose. R still floated like a nut stuck in a rut.

The Blue Guy would not give in and did his slot spin. It seemed Besercules lost his feet and fell over the edge of the peak, hitting the ground and creating an image that was not so neat. The apes retreated hoping to save their master and the glowy eyed freaks came at us faster. But they were met with the same until The Gawker popped his eye ball out ready to mame. For he caught L off guard and she became fully gawked, now part of his bard. She wrapped her self around Irish Air's neck good and tight, forcing her to go toward the light.

The Penguin Man was taking out Petsy's animals one by one finding it tons of fun. Dictionary Collector snuck up on Blabber and grabbed her hair, holding her by it in the air while he gave Pat a book and caused many new voices to go into his brain nook. The Gawker had Miss Priss and I pinned against the wall and Petsy could no longer send out the call. For Grammar Nazi had run her down, zooming back and forth in his glowy eyed freak gown.

Drazin on the other hand was fighting The Blue Guy's attack of the slot as he really wanted to make him rot. Drazin marched toward him and The Blue Guy's smirk turned to something more grim, as Drazin grabbed him by his spiky hair and shouted over to Irish Air.

"Drazin knows the damn Irish have more fight in them than that. Stop being some damn wanker and get that damn alphabet thing from around your neck."

It seems Drazin pissed Irish Air off enough that she got rough. She bit the L shaped lasso around her and even as her eyes started to blur, latched onto L and damned her to Hell. Then gave her drum deafening shout and L's top popped off like the head of a trout. Irish Air tossed the remaining part to Drazin and he latched onto The Blue Guys head like he was crushing a raisin. He then wrapped what was left of L around his neck in a noose and hung The Blue Man like nothing more than a stuffed goose. His lights went out as Drazin told him to rot but as they did his eyes told Drazin he had hit the jackpot.

Pat finally got wise to the book and used the magic of The Gawker's nook. He made a whole pile appear over the Dictionary Collectors head and pointed up into the air making Dictionary Collector loosen his grip on Blabber's hair. She spun her hair as the Dictionary Collector thought he dodged Pat's book affair. But thas was a mistake as Blabber's hair send the pile of books at him like she was blowing nothing more than a snow flake. The Dictionary Collector could be heard screaming as he fell off the cliff. I guess being crushed by his own books left him in quite the tiff.

Petsy slurped on Grammar Nazi's arm and finally freed herself from harm. She made his arm go numb and them slurped him from head to bum. Grammar Nazi could not move one bit and Petsy wanted to give him a taste of his own hit and run fit. So she used the magic the best she could and brought forth a car made of wood. It was enough to do the trick for let's just say what was left of Grammar Nazi was kind of ick.

Penguin Man had his hands full with the animal crew but he was tossing them off the cliff and did not have a clue. For while the others were keeping him occupied, Blabber's tarsier was preparing to turn the tide. He set up a slippery patch of animal poo which the animals lured Penguin Man into. He got some on his glowy eyed freak attire and then the tarsier lit him on fire. It gave a whole new meaning to dog poo in a bag as Penguin Man burnt to a crisp like an old rag.

After all of that it was down to The Gawker, Miss Priss and The Cat. We had taken many before at our shore and this time we would beat on him like he was some bad mime. For he retracted his eye once more but Miss Priss jumped to his head and held open the door. I jumped up and swated at the eye but it seemed to be protected no matter which way I gave it a try. My five foot fleas surround him and Miss Priss used her sharp hairs to give his mohawk a trim. Then I darted off to Blabber and snatched her horn, of course she got mad that her necklace was torn. But I jumped back on The Gawker and stabbed his huge eye and I am glad to report a simple horn is what made The Gawker die. No matter if Gawker Peak was ravaged and torn I beat The Gawker and had to toot my own horn. I know that was a bad pun but it was fun.

Finally with all beaten back we were ready to go back to our shack. We surrounded the magic pot and we hoped someone would connect a dot. For no one had any idea how to work it that is when R finally moved from his stationary spot and joined us with his usual bit.

"The power is nice."
"The power is great."
"The power is epic."
"The power is..."

"Drazin has had enough of you."
"You took away my shampoo."
"You took me from my zoo."
"You are a bloody eejit."
"You are too consistent. The best I got."
"You made me hang out with the godly mook."

And that was that. For nothing had to be said by The Cat. As I jumped up onto R and pushed him down far. The others all grabbed hold after R had been told and we shoved him into the pot telling R, just like The Blue Guy, The Gawker and the rest, he too could rot. That is what he gets for pretending to be Merlin and bringing us here, sadly his final words were nothing you wish to here.

"This is hot."
"This is warm."

But as he disappeared around us came a bright glowing storm. We all began to pull away assuming things would go back to the norm. Each gave an appreciative nod for as much as Miss Priss and I hated the god we had made it through. I hear Petsy finally made it back to her zoo. Irish Air's gardens surely grew in some mighty fine poo. Drazin continued to talk in his third person view and yes, Blabber finally got to wash her hair with two kinds of shampoo. Her pet tarsier even hitched a ride as we all left Gawker Island, or I guess that would be planet, with pride. Pat, Miss Priss and I will surely have more adventures come to pass. But for now I am just happy to be home to rest my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling

Sunday, May 13, 2012

There Are Wild Things? I'll Clip Their Wings!

So dVerse is doing a Maurice Sendak day. Honoring him for his kiddie display and you know the cat can't pass that up. Dr. Seuss growing up was more my cup, as I barely ever heard of Sendak at all, which I will sadly admit at my hall. Anyway, I guess there were all kinds of wild things about and the cat has many he will let out. There was some relief from my grief. Does it smell? Hmm this is going to Hell.

The wild things are here,
From far and near.
An Oompa Loompa has come,
Captain Crunch bites his thumb.

Penguin Man moons the crowd,
Oops! That is daily and not so wild as he acts proud.
Here comes Flingy Flong,
Wearing a zebra thong.

I guess it just isn't Pat,
So disturbing to the cat.
Trikety Trap,
Came to run his yap.

Eating a camel hump,
Getting rid of the bump.
I suppose that is good,
Fix ones OCD it should.

Hippo Happy lost his tooth,
Blamed it on some old bitty named Ruth.
She had to have it around her nose,
Why? Who really knows?

But things get whacky from there,
As along comes Lucky Hare.
Except he lost two feet,
Which isn't so neat.

As he was so wild,
He needed to be lucky for some child.
That's to put it mild too,
Not something you want to view.

Unlike the Fox and the Hound,
Oops! They already did that round.
The Termite and the Tree?
Wouldn't that be something to see?

Could help the woodchuck chop wood,
Somewhere in the hood.
Or was that chuck?
By now do you really give a umm duck?

Let's get wild with that,
And use flibo at my mat.
Puck which rhymes with you know,
Uses that in Pat's book show.

So Vilit Vigger was a flibo,
Or she wanted one on the go.
Either way,
She didn't have a nice day.

Got a saggy rump,
After the humpty hump.
From a bad goalie and such.
Do I say too much?

For along comes joy,
Girl or boy.
Or maybe a moose,
From some deranged mother goose.

Then the wild starts all over again,
As they see more than that of women and men.
Who are supposed to be oh so wise,
Which is more of a disguise.

So the wild will go on,
From dusk to dawn.
Until the Mayans pull up their pants,
And stop acting like army ants.

Getting the date correct,
When we will no longer stand erect.
And go boom.
That would be a wild kind of doom.

Oh wait! They are dead.
So don't worry your pretty little wild head.
All will come around,
And the wild will always be found.

Was that wild enough? If not you can go search for scary people in the buff. I'm sure wild will be the word for that and so much more not wanted to be known by the cat. So go get scary and roll in the grass, just don't tell my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Shove A Pencil Through Her Eye! Such Violence, Oh My!

"I booked the first three Tuesdays of the month every month, so I have the 22nd booked."

After five whole weeks of bliss Pat had to once more hear Flappy hiss. The dumb ass can't even count to any amount.

"I know I booked the first three, let me know, can you let me know. I'll let the others know. Maybe I should let them know now."

Of course you should let them know at nine in the night. They want to be shook up by a Flappy fright and told about something that is over two weeks away. Right now, at this very moment, today!

"May has five Tuesdays so you did book the first three."

Is all Pat had to say and Flappy was in dismay. She tried to book it once more but tough luck for her as Pat will be away from his work shore. Actually he will be back but not about to come into his work shack. Especially for Flappy and of course she got yappy.

"I guess I will have to cancel. I guess I will have to call them, I should call them now. I should really call them now. Mom, do you have your cell phone?"

Yes, even Flappy's mommy comes to this thing and she really was going to give all a ring. Her mother just hugged her and left with another. Flappy can't even be tolerated by her own mother. That has to bring shame and by now Pat just wanted to mame.

"I know the number. I just need a phone. Where did I put my phone? I should cancel them now. I should call so and so and have her cancel them now. I should..."

This went on for ten minutes or more as Pat just wanted to be rid of the painted up whore. Then she asked to use his phone and he said it was upstairs as he let out a little groan.

"Can you go get it? I have to call them now, they should be told now. They have to say what they want to do. Can you go get it?"

Pat lied of course with that one, as he had it in his pocket and was hoping by his shun she would leave, giving him a reprieve. But she did not and so against better judgement he pretened to trot. Then came back with the phone that was in his pocket all along and she sang here usual song.

"How does this work? Do I just press this button?"

She said as she looked at the numbers on the phone screen and she could see as it was nice and clean. Finally she hit the buttons on it, proving once more she is a nitwit.

"The number is out of order. That can't be. I know it works."

So she pressed it again and this time it was a number of a different den. The dumb ass didn't even get the number right. Then she explained her plight.

"He isn't going to be here on the 22nd. So we can't have that night. What do you want to do? Do you want to keep the other night? That will be two nights in a row for you. You know that is two nights right? Two nights for you?"

Damn broken record went on and finally this plan seemed to dawn.

"We'll call you later in the week and let you know. Is later in the week okay? Sometime later in the week we'll call."

Took her all of that to figure out she would call later? Then it was time to go all see you later aligator. But she tried to call another after saying she was just going to call one. So Pat ended her fun. Took the phone back and said she had to go. For if he did not she would be there all damn night at his work show.

"I have to deliver this anyway. I have to do this as well and this too. Can I borrow your phone for one more second? There is a call I have to make."

So Pat hit the button to turn it on once more but oops! It would not explore. Seems the phone went dead or Pat just didn't hit it hard enough and pretended it was so, so he could go to bed. She still went on about the phone as he kicked her out the door.

"I should really call the others too. I wonder what they will think? I should really call the others. I have to deliver this, maybe I should call the others."

God, Pat needs to find a new work shore. Good things there were no pencils or pens around or a dead Flappy may have been found. Then he finally came home to our grass and fed my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Island Of The Gawker Part Ten Will Have Us Home To Our Den?

The cat was mule kicking those pesky glowy eyed freaks every which way and Miss Priss was clawing them as we barely kept them at bay. The light from the sun was dim and Pat had many over him. Blabber came from behind her rock chucking a stone at one, giving it a shock. It spotted her and went for the kill but her tarsier made it chill. Pat saw her save and began to rant and rave. I guess he had some samurai in his head as he picked up a stick and began making them drop dead.

Petsy used her animal horde to keep them off her tail as the glowy eyed freaks continued to wail. She lead Irish Air to a secret stash of enough liquor to have quite the bash. Irish Air perked right up and filled her cup. She began to spit fire at the glowy eyed freaks that came near, causing them fear.

"Watch where you spit that stuff. Drazin will get you next. Damn Irish people."

Drazin almost got singed a bit. But I think Irish Air meant to do it. He did his normal loud mouth thing and sent each glowy eyed  freak for a fling. But no matter how many we stopped in their tracks more seemed to come and continue their glowy eyed freak attacks. The is until He showed up from above. He floated down like a dove. As He came each glowy eyed freak were not long taking off for Gawker Peak.

"Is Drazin seeing what Drazin thinks Drazin is seeing?"

"Bloody hell! Petsy you got some bloody fine liquor. I must be knocked out on my arse dreaming this bloody stuff up."

"Attack of the ABC's? Do you think that cereal company can sue?"

"This isn't going to end well. Let's go back to fighting the Godly mook."

"Do you think it has any shampoo? Wait! Look at that curve, it must have some horrible disease. Everyone get back!"

"I must have mixed the liquor up with ant spray."

We all stared on outside Petsy's shack except for Blabber who was having another hypochondriac attack. I wanted to run as well for this guy, girl, it was boring as hell. But down it came from the sky landing in front of us sounding it's battle cry.

"Nice work!"
"Great Job!"
"Nice Job!"
"Great Work!"

Now if that does not get one ready to fight, I have no idea what one needs for a fire to insight. The "He" that everyone was talking about from The Blue Guy with is shout to all who now stood around, was far far less profound. He, she, it, was nothing but an R. That is right. Not a dog, cat, human or even car. But it was a giant letter R standing before us. The one who caused all of this fuss. The one who deprieved Blabber of her shampoo, Petsy of her five men crew and Irish Air of her gardens filled with manure. Not to mention who was disguised as Merlin and took us from our shore, was nothing but a giant R. I think we all inhaled some bad liquor from Petsy's secret bar.

"Drazin has better things to do then to listen to some broken record. That starts with R maybe Drazin found what this thing is. A record that spins and spins. Drazin is going to stop that little blue douchebag now."

"Nice advice!"
"Great tactic!"
"Nice tactic!"
"Great advice!"

"Is this thing for real?"

"Let's forget it and go get that bloody blue eejit."

"Not to the mention the eyeball."

"Yes, hang onto your horn. We may need it to ward off the scary eyeball."

"It is a real thing, you should be scared."

"Shut up already! You two are worse than the godly mook and his third person speak."

Blabber and Pat continued to well blabber about some Maloika jibber jabber while Petsy kept checking her tongue, Irish Air thought her bell was really rung and Drazin made his way for the peak. Until R made another squeek.

"Come with me!"
"Go with me!"
"Follow me!"
"Join me!"

"Did it actually use three words?"

Seemed to be the only thing all could say as we were still baffled by such a display. But then we all got covered in a cloud of mist, even Drazin who was upside down and shaking his fist. Away we flew with the strange letter R whose words did not seem to stretch too far. The closer we made it to Gawker Peak the more all of us knew one way or another we would end The Gawker and that little blue geek. We landed right on the edge once more and The Gawker, The Blue Guy, his lieutenants and all the other glowy eye freaks looked ready for war.

"Pat, I think you are going to need more than your finger this time."

"Thou shall not win, evil demons always fall to the likes of a yippe kay yay."

"We're buggered with that eejit."

"Drazin has had enough of this backwater planet to last Drazin a million lifetimes."

"I want my shampoo!"

"I want back to my zoo!"

I guess Petsy hung around me too long as she was rhyming as she came on strong. Blabber seemed to be rid of her ocd as did Pat and Petsy. Miss Priss and I were ready to take the fight to The Gawker because we really hate a creepy stalker. Drazin just eyed down the blue guy as that R thing stood floating in the sky. That was when Miss Priss sounded the cry and it was now do or die.

The Gawker's eye popped from his head and we wanted to make that dead. The glowy eyed freaks had other ideas though as Grammar Nazi lead the show. Dictionary Collecter and Penguin Man each took the left and right as once more day seemed to become night. Irish Air used the liquor she took and started frying all of those at The Gawker's nook. Drazin marched right up the middle as The Blue Guy continued to smile and then his slot machine eyes began to dial. Drazin was then caused dismay as he started marching the other way.

"Drazin doesn't want to go that way. What the hell did you do to Drazin?"

"Backwards is forwards and forwards is back. Now let's see you attack. I did not mean to rhyme like that. Stupid cat!"

It seems The Blue Guy made Drazin do the exact opposite of what he was trying to do and he finally got a clue. He struggled with it though moving forward once more ever so slow. Miss Priss and I ran for The Gawker flipping over and under any glowy eyed freak as the others made them feel like they needed a walker. He grinned at us with his big eye and then he started to cry. Blabber being so small snuck around the other side of his hall. It seems her magic horn necklace thing actually worked, to which Pat just smirked. I jumped for the eye but I missed on the first try. For that chicken sucked it back in his head and then The Blue Guy declared it was time we were dead.

Petsy still seemed to have something up her sleeve as she watched everyone else giving the glowy eyed freaks a heave. Then that stupid Blue Guy raised his hand to the sky and sent us flying at Petsy's feet declaring we all admit defeat.That stupid R just floated there being no help at all, just watching each of us fall.

We all got up and as The Blue Guy smirked once more I remembered what he showed me when he opened my brain to explore. For I could see behind him a pot that was sparkling quite a lot. I knew that must have been the magic he spoke of that gave us that extra shove. So all had to be like Pat and Blabber which I hate to admit. Find their nutcase vibe and use it.

********************
Hmm wasn't this supposed to be the end? Did I send you around the bend? Well it is written as the end of the series I will admit but it was so long many would have a fit. So for part ten you will get it in part one and part two at me den. Can you break a part into a part? Pfft who cares, as I am going to do it at my cart. It won't take long to come to pass and you will see how it ends for all including my little rhyming ass.

Exprience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

The Alliance Is Toast As The Cat Makes Them Roast!

So that stinkin alliance of poo heads hangs around my sea trying to stop me. But it will never happen at my hall for the cat took it to them and had a ball. Now they are a little crispy and fried. Never fear though as I don't think anyone actually died.

You see this pretty car? The one they hopped in to try and get away from my bar. Well it went very very fast and got away. Or at least they thought so as my timer was on a few minute delay.

And boom went their pretty car. Proving you never get far when you mess with a cat. So bye bye alliance car as the cat continues to squash you flat.

Thought I would not find your uber secret lair. Not hard with the way Irish Air tends to swear. I just followed the eejit calling and then the poor bricks starting falling.


As boom their hideout flew through the air. Poor poor Irish Air was too dusty to swear. I guess they need to work on that uber secret thing a bit. I'm sure sooner or later they may get it.


It seems they had enough and were trying to get rough. They sent some tin can from the future back after me and he was sure a sight to see.


As he joined the scarp heap and gave off a final little beep. The poor robot sounded so sad. I think he even cried out for his dad. Maybe Penguin Man should not have made him so emotional or something. He may have stood a chance at beating a dog at least at some other wing.


So they called in the big guns. These guys gave me the runs. The scariest things I have ever seen. So I had to get mean. Okay maybe not as bad as a mime but clowns and their ugly mugs commit such a crime.

Then BOOM! They were good and dead for bringing me gloom. Clowns vaporized into thin air each and every smiley faced, red nosed, freaky looking pair.

Then came their uber secret fleet and they thought I was beat. I mean look at all of those things. I wouldn't be expected to stop those even with wings. But that is where they always screw up. They treat the cat like a butt sniffing pup.


So BOOM went the whole planet and bush number three. I guess no one is alive to see. At least I got that alien fleet and the alliance was truly beat. Sorry for all the collateral damage to all of you. Oh wait! This isn't entirely true. For this is a warning of what will come. So say your goodbyes and drink back a final glass of rum.

You just did that right? Now I truly gave Irish Air a plight. For you all drank all that rum and are drunk as a skunk in a funk. So you can all swear like her. That will surely ruffle her fur. Plus Penguin Man likes it all PG. So score another win for me and I didn't even have to blow up a thing here at my wing. See what has come to pass? You simply can't beat my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Island Of The Gawker Part Nine Has Us Nearing The End Of The Line!

Irish Air was about to string The Blue Guy up with glee when everyones attention turned toward me.

"Let me string up this bloody eejit before you start licking your arse and rhyming."

"Drazin hates to agree with a drunk or an Irish person for that matter but today Drazin makes an exception."

"The guy reminded me of repeats, let him hang Braveheart style."

"Even on an island in the middle of nowhere I hear about that awful movie. Someone has to hang for that."

"He gave me a hippo rear, let him hang."

Miss Priss was the only one who did not join in on the hanging fun. For I guess she wanted to see what I said and the rest shook their head. I think Irish Air even had a bit of drool, she really really wanted to hang that blue fool. But she waited as I did my little song and dance and around them all I seemed to prance.

Blabber thinks it was fleas on her knees that brought her across the seas.
Drazin thinks it was french fries but then he is so unwise.
Petsy a search for a fountain brought her around the mountain.
Irish Air thinks it was a nosey neighbor sending her away to drink and drum play.
Miss Priss, Pat and I think it was that Merlin guy.

But what none of us know is that was all for show.
We have all been brought her by a smoke monster that thinks it's a man. Sorry! That is untrue but of that island I am a fan.
The secret to this whole thing is that we are in a whole other wing.
By that I mean a whole other place is where we show our face.
A whole other world is where we are for we were sucked away from afar.

"Right! We were sucked away to another world. Let's forget the bloody arse licking cat and hang this blue eejit."

"And Drazin thought the Irish were crazy. Fleabag, you surely take the cake."

"I suppose this could be a whole secret wars thing as we jumped through some magic Stargate type thing."

"Alien germs, I really need my shampoo."

"If only I had dug for that treasure in my backyard."

Skeptical you may be and I don't blame thee.
But what I can see is everyone flying through space at a great pace.
And poof here we land to make a stand.
All because of some guy that wants to make The Gawker fry.
He thinks we can all do it and so collected us bit by bit.
This Blue Guy is his nemesis as well. He would be the equivalent of Lucifer and Hell.
Each want the magic The Gawker hides behind which makes the eyeball pop from his mind.
That is why Pat's finger worked as a gun and Blabber's hair spun.
For the magic can be tapped by all when near Gawker Peak's hall.
Making their wishes come to life and causing others strife.
The Gawker wants to take over Earth after he collects enough specimens of worth.
For it seems this other guy has been bringing many here and they all have fallen to The Gawker's peer.
Except for this bunch and Besercules who is out to lunch.

"What about the cavemen guys? They were loony. Drazin has you there fleabag."

"Let him finish godly mook."

"I'm becoming uncomfortable with you all wanting to hang me."

"Suck it up buttercup."

"Yeah, who's talking to you anyway, you bad Avatar rip off."

There in lies the rub for this poor slub was keeping the cavemen guys lame and oh so tame.
If they worship him he gets more power to make them grim.
But now that we took care of his crew and broke the barrier hiding their view,
He no longer has much power and so he's now as weak as a flower.
I bet he is no longer even a threat, using what power he had left no longer having any heft.
And now my rhyme has rang so you can let him hang.

"And why couldn't this Irish nut let him hang before? Drazin doesn't get fleabags."

"Well you know it's no fun having a big reveal if you can't rub it in on the bad guy a bit."

"Wait! So who is the guy who brought us here? I'm getting nervous now. Is he the Zodiac Killer?"

"What happens when one watches too many movies."

"Fine, one to talk"

"Shut up! You eejits are getting on my bloody nerves. It's time to hang the wanker."

The Blue Guy just laughed as Irish Air wrapped the wire around his neck and threw it around a branch. All the animals gathered at Petsy's ranch and The Blue Guy looked like he was done. But he kept smiling like it was fun. Then came the howls and I think a few with ocd in our crew may have lost control of their umm bowels. For a whole slew of the glowy eyed freaks came in from above. They were not detered any longer by the combined animal spirit love.

The tarsier leaped from Blabber's shoulder and sent one crashing into a boulder. Petsy's birds took flight as the sky became as black as night. They fought back some, knocking them on their bum. But many broke through and The Blue Guy just laughed at the the crew.

"He will never win and all of you will die very soon. The Gawker will take over your puny planet and I will be the one pulling the strings. Just like I sucked away the power of the animals while you idiots were yapping. You will never hit the jackpot."

"Bloody cat! I told you we should have hung the eejit."

"Damn fleabag! We could have hung the crackpot."

"Maybe the godly one has realized how stupid he sounds, finally."

"Drazin will still crush you fleabag."

"Maybe not."

"Thy should focus more on the task and less on each other, demon."

The Blue Guy disappeared into thin air and Petsy let out a roar to all the animals at her lair. The fight had begun and those glowy eyed freaks were coming after everyone. Blabber was hiding quite well as things went to Hell. I guess she did not want to go there for that place could really dry out her hair. Irish Air had her drumstick knives at the ready and was fighting back the glowy eyed freaks steady while Pat pretended he had a sword and we fought off a horde. But more just kept coming after us and as they swarmed it was not just Irish Air who started to cuss. The sky was filled to the brim and things were truly looking grim.

********************
So now we know we are on another planet somewhere in space. How will we ever get back to our place? That cocky Blue Guy has to pay and we will cause him and The Gawker dismay. For the conclusion will come in number ten whether or not we survive the glowy eyed freaks attacking at Petsy's den. Let's hope we don't end up in the grass that would not please my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.