Monday, January 7, 2013

Another Way To Suck Dough From Your Bay!

So that dreaded time will come soon enough when you do your taxes in the buff. Not sure which is more scary. Thank God the cat is hairy. But what could you get taxed on this year? There could be many a things that you don't know about, I hear.

There is a pee tax.
Wait! Now it is lax.
The 1st century is where it took place.
As people would tax pee at a steady pace.

For it was used to clean,
Each and every scene.
Due to high ammonia content.
I hope they at least had a vent.

It must suck to be a witch.
They may curse those officials and make them itch.
For now somewhere out there,
People are taxed for being witches at their lair.

How would you know?
Do they have a witchy glow?
I would fear a curse,
Let the witches keep the coins in their purse.

Wig powder has a big tax,
So if you want to relax,
And strap on that wig,
Be prepared to pay big.

Do you have a tattoo?
One of a zoo?
Maybe some barbed wire,
Or your love for Oscar Meyer.

A tattoo dedicated to a whiner.
I hope you aren't a hand signer.
Either way taxed you are,
For displaying one at your bar.

Here is a great one.
God is so fun.
A Catholic tax is so cool.
God must really rule.

For if you don't pay,
You are kicked out of the fray.
I guess the bible must have missed that part.
"All shall take taxes to heart."

Want to go on a ride?
In the air you glide,
On your hot air balloon.
While the tax man sings a tune.

And now for the best.
It beats all the rest.
For it is a tax,
That reached the max.

The Soul Tax has come due.
It is charged to each and every one of you.
I wonder if cats count too?
But then what? Tax a kangaroo?

Did I forget to mention,
That this little tax detention,
Was done in 1718?
That Peter the Great was sure mean.

Why are they always great?
Is it their taxing fate?
Cat the great?
Pfft that is too low a fate.

So there we go some fun before the tax show. Even though it is a month or two away. I figured I'd get you in the mood at my bay. Glad I can make you grumble but you do not want to rumble. For the cat has hidden in the grass, pringle cans full of stuff that comes out of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

62 comments:

  1. Taxed to the maximum?
    Equitable incidence of tax
    Fairness is the norm
    Lest the govt gets lax
    Progressive taxation
    Yet another consideration
    Never you mind, have a fill
    All must pay their tax bill

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they get you every way
      No way around them at your bay
      So may as well just pay
      And have a nice day

      Delete
  2. oh trust our government will find a way to tax it, spend a bit more and tax again to make up for it...a pee tax...i wonder who the counter is and how they catch me peeing on a tree....and would i be jailed for such deed...hailed as a miscreant or strung up between steeds...no wig here, so hold the powder, 10% tax if you order the chowder...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that chowder will do you in
      That tree may think it a sin
      A crowd may think it's rude
      While a dog could give you attitude haha

      Delete
  3. I'm up to hear with fecking tax and I'm not even a native!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah I agree
      Taxed to death at every sea

      Delete
  4. Even if you don't work
    you pay higher taxes to some jerk
    Our property taxes rose
    while their values froze
    taxes on food and clothes grew higher
    the words of politicians proved another liar
    Watched my healthcare insurance double
    no wonder my country is in trouble

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah taking and taking some more
      All they are doing at your shore
      Then cutting here and there
      Filling their own pockets without a care

      Delete
  5. Can you imagine tax after an aspargus pee? Now that is some stinky ammonia pee!!! YEE GADS!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that would be blah in every way
      Would not want to be that taxman any day

      Delete
  6. I bet gingers don't have to pay the soul tax.

    Brandon would be screwed with the pee tax, what with his little girl bladder.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmao maybe he can pretend
      To be a little girl with such a trend

      Delete
  7. reminds me of a song by steve vai, helping us all realize the truth of the government

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the truth is they are all full of shit
      With the garbage they spit

      Delete
  8. Yuck. I am still waiting on the consumption tax for people like me who are stingy consumers to win.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. While that will prob come due
      Then a win for you

      Delete
  9. I can't wait to do mine actually. Still waiting for my paperwork to come due.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Geez you must be getting some back
      There at your shack

      Delete
  10. With Austerity Measures
    in place
    they tax
    for looking
    into space.

    And dreaming
    too, that
    just won't do
    so taxes on
    that will
    have to
    come due.

    The air
    you breath?
    We'll tax
    that please.

    Go to the
    loo?
    We'll tax
    that too.

    For the
    governments broke
    so you must
    pay to
    get us out
    of the mess
    we made.

    If you add up all the taxes we pay, VAT, property tax, earning tax, service tax etc. it's no surprise that we have no money to spend to stimulate the damn economy. If I start ranting I won't stop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh it is pathetic in every way
      Had to have fun with it at my bay
      As ranting I would be here all day
      Just a sickening display
      Looking at my final tax slip for the year
      And seeing how much those greedy bastards took from my little rhyming rear haha

      Delete
    2. The evil is compounded by the fact that you work for wages that are too low to begin with and then the government has their hand in your pocket to pay for bullshit projects for their friends.

      And hey, HRH is going to take away the crown. You are the Eternal King of Canada. I'm just giving myself a bit of story to play around with between the characters.

      Delete
    3. Yeah it is sickening in every way
      How much the suck away
      And pfft the cat won't stand for that
      He'll squash her flat

      Delete
  11. orlin N cassie... a pee tax !!!???? purrhaps thatz why peepulz iz all ways pizzed off at de govern mint !!

    haza marvelous mackeral monday !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that would be the case
      Maybe they should pee on their face haha

      Delete
  12. Enjoying your ride for taxes.
    Just see it:
    singing tax-man in tuxedo
    with placebo effet-
    good idea, great cat,
    no pain for tax gain!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah make the pain rain
      For those of the tax gain
      But a tuxedo
      Sure beats a speedo

      Delete
  13. I can't get over all the ways people have been taxed before, reminds me about reading of that horrible sounding ship tax in the 1600s, the governments will do anything to tax you, even for just being a witches and to me that makes the government be a load of.... annoyances haha. I refuse to rhyme with bad language at this time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha if they can find a way to make a buck
      Then we are shit out of luck
      As they don't give a feck
      Hmmm I guess I got off your non swearing truck haha

      Delete
  14. If they start taxing for cats
    or any kind of pets
    I'll have to run off to Timbuk Two
    where I can still keep my zoo!
    People down here can't really whine
    cuz they voted in the tax god for another time!
    hahaha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is true
      Taxes were voted at your US zoo
      Oh and guess what?
      Here at our hut
      There is a cat tax floating around
      But I ignore it at my ground
      Never will pay that thing
      They can shove it up their rear and hear the cling

      Delete
    2. So, what would they do?
      Search every home for a kitty or two?
      And only cats?
      Must be a dog owner that thought of that!
      haha.

      Delete
    3. Dogs are taxed too
      Cats came second at our zoo
      I guess to try and make people pay
      For having them outside at their bay
      No one I know actually pays the thing
      At any wing

      Delete
  15. I guess I've fallen into the spam trap again.
    Blogger should recognize me at your bin!
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blogger has it in for you
      It seems at my zoo

      Delete
  16. You are tooo timely
    It's spooky and finally
    2 envelopes I did just seal
    To pay quarterly tax without zeal.
    From the news that I hear
    I again want a beer
    From my ears, I purported
    All new tax is assorted
    To make my new pocketbook thin
    Let's change that beer to a gin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha need something stronger
      For the tax bill gets longer
      And damn I am good
      Must be those psychic powers in my hood

      Delete
  17. Mine will be complex this year. Thanks for the early reminder.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha does not sound like fun
      Sorry for bringing it up under my sun

      Delete
  18. They're taxing souls now? Well, I guess I don't have to worry. I probably don't have one anyway. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha you can get off cheap
      That ought to piss off the tax creep

      Delete
  19. Poppin' Fresh thought he would try
    to suck him some dough.
    But, when he bent over
    instead of a popover,
    he became a pretzel
    Silly guy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ouch that would cause alarm
      Twisting an arm
      And maybe filling a hole
      That wasn't a goal
      He might have bought the farm

      Delete
  20. No one here is taxed to the max like us Canadians ~ Sigh ~

    My son, who is a CA does the work, I don't bother with it ~

    Have a good week Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah we get taxed up the ying yang
      I just do my own and hear my money clang

      Delete
  21. What was it the Beatles sang? "And when you're dead he'll tax your eyes . . ."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And your ears too
      Prob charge more if you are blue

      Delete
  22. Don't make me get political up in here, cat! I'm not happy with Uncle Sam right now, not happy at all! We are taxed to high hell and it don't sit well!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha political and you would be fun
      To see you give it a run

      Delete
  23. Ha ha, I enjoyed reading all the factses
    you shared about the dreaded taxes
    that take money to the maxes
    when we turn our backses!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't even have to turn around now
      They will even tax a poor milking cow

      Delete
  24. A "Pee tax"! My Cod, what will they think of next! We will gladly give them all the pee they'd like!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha seems they thought of much
      I'd hate to be the one to have to count it and such

      Delete
  25. Wouldn't it be just too rude
    If they began to tax my food?
    I might "Meow" in a way that's crude
    And tell that taxman, "Go -- yourself, Dood!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pat already says that
      But agreed, then so would the cat

      Delete
  26. soul tax...pee tax and powdered wigs...ha..can it get worse...smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Excrement by the pound tax would be worse
      Enough to make any one curse haha

      Delete
  27. haha, I've never done my taxes naked... so funny. I just got my 2013 paycheck though and taxes have definitely taken a larger chunk out: boo!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah same with me
      Sucks big time and causes no glee

      Delete
  28. My Dad's accountant does all our taxes so no worries for me. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice thing for him to do
      As I'm stuck doing them all at my zoo

      Delete