Thursday, January 31, 2013

Ideas From The Cat To Squash All Flat!

It is coming up on pilot season and the cat will add in a little rhyme for no reason. For there is too much crap on TV. Like that junk they call reality. Pffffft to any of that crap. That needs to take a big dirt nap. Of course some big holes must be dug for a big loser thug. Oops, did I offend? Good, stick your stupid reality tv trend. Now on with the show before I get into another reality flow.

A show about a cop,
Whose pants just drop.
He could be arresting a perp,
And they drop as easy as a burp.

A doctor with a fascination with a certain part.
That surely isn't the heart.
He always has to sitck his hand,
Up such an open gland.

A lawyer with a moral code.
Pffft that is a load.
Could never say that is reality tv,
So I guess it works for me.

An alien with a human toe,
When he is upset his toe will glow.
Of course he can't afford shoes,
So the toe will make the news.

A firefighter that puts out flyers.
He will even squeal the trucks tires.
He will haul up to a wall,
And spray away the flyers announcing a dance at the local disco hall.

A vet will go into a bar.
Now she helps drunks near and far.
Giving them a snip snip,
Without the need for an ER trip.

An apple meets a grape.
It turns into a great big apple ape.
Now it tries to escape each man,
Who is an apple eating fan.

A hooker pretends to lie,
With each and every guy.
Then chops off their thing.
This time they need to give the ER a ring.

A scary cyclops that is blue,
Will be on screens near you.
But it won't last long,
As all thinks she looks like a scary ding dong.

A cat can rhyme.
He beats up on a mime.
Trots all over the earth.
His viking women, of which he chews her fat, gives birth.

And so there are a ton that I could give a run. But then Disney might steal from my show and claim they created the alien with the toe that can glow. Such evil corporate greed stealing from my feed. My viking woman lass will sit on them for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

71 comments:

  1. Yeah, keep it to yourself
    One is not obliged to reveal
    Just make out when time is ripe
    That'll enhance the appeal!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha then I could score a deal
      And real spin the wheel
      Finding some luck
      Even if it did suck

      Delete
  2. The only realities I've ever seen
    Were briefly on the TV screen
    This is boring, what a waste
    Not fast enough could I make haste
    So many things I'd rather do
    Like spend an afternoon at the zoo
    Or chop some wood with my log splitter
    Tiz better than sitting on my sitter
    If I want my brain to turn to mush
    TV's like sucking a snow-cone slush

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I send reality tv away
      If it ever comes near the screen on my bay
      I just rhyme away
      Making up fake ideas at my bay

      Delete
  3. got to wonder at some who sit around and come
    up with these show ideas, and what else might be
    spinning around their heads, things best kept
    in back lot sheds, but they sell it, and we
    get to see the hell of it...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is true
      Sad what they sell to view
      Making tons of dough
      For a God awful show

      Delete
  4. I'm a trashy reality show whore. Can't stop watching The Bachelor and Mob Wives for the "real drama", even though it's all scripted. I love those crazy bitches.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha geez that is sad
      I'll pretend i never heard it at my pad haha

      Delete
  5. I don't watch much TV, normally some documentaries but I am pretty sure most of your ideas would be produced!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah with this day in age
      They'd prob be all the rage

      Delete
  6. We're in the deep freeze here today
    sending the iciness toward your way
    I hate days like this you know
    where it's so cold TV is the only way to go
    and everything on the tube is a boring show
    (unless I find a repeat of Law & Order)-hiho!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha we had that
      Keep it at your mat
      And law and order is fine
      But it is the same old same old as each who did it follows the same line

      Delete
  7. You're right, my man, it's all about reality, where I see no signs of diversity, nor humanity. What's the world coming to? Well, at least we've got your cat, your rhyme and you, too. :-)

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah lots at my zoo
      May be in my own little reality too
      But oh well
      Beats such tv hell

      Delete
  8. The cat beats up a mime?
    Well, it's about time.
    That one will surely be a hit.
    And it will rule over all the other sh*t.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I can rule
      Over the mime fool
      And the other strat
      Making me a happy cat

      Delete
  9. I'm proud to say I don't watch reality TV, but I would happily watch some of these. Who wouldn't want to see a hooker cut off someone's dick or a cyclops that looks like a dick? Actually, now that I think about it, I'd like to see the two of them square off in the season finale. Angry hooker vs giant penis. There's some kind of metaphor there, but does it even matter?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha yeah that may be xxx though
      But would be quite the show
      Be interesting who would win
      Even if it is a sin

      Delete
  10. There's nothing good on tv any more
    I never watch it at my shore
    Seems their brains have turned to mush
    and they can't think of creative stuff.
    News and sports are all we watch
    and maybe some HGTV and cooking fluff. ha.
    Seinfeld was probably the last sitcom I really liked
    now they can all take a hike.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. besides, with cats galore
      who needs tv anymore?
      lol...

      Delete
    2. Yeah Seinfeld was the last sitcom i liked too
      As most are worth less now than poo
      And the news is pretty much all the same
      I ignore the over paid weenies who play their little game haha
      So just a few
      Are all that remain to watch at my zoo
      And yeah tons of kitties all around
      So nothing else to watch needs to be found

      Delete
  11. I was laughing at the alien with the human toe ~

    I think the tv execs are running out of ideas and
    reality tv seems to be doing well, so they milk it out
    until the audience ask for more ~

    Have a good day Pat ~ Am home as my car skidded on icy road
    and thought it best to stay indoors ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they have no ideas at all
      Or are trying to play it safe at their hall
      Making a quick buck
      With crap that tends to suck
      Yuck to the ice
      Better to stay home indeed the attempt such a price

      Delete
  12. poor misunderstood cyclops of blue

    she just wanted to make her soul true.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But instead all she did was whine
      Which hurt the ears of this feline

      Delete
  13. HA! The ones we might like are usually cancelled cause we were the only ones watching!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah that tends to be the case
      As the are cancelled all over the place

      Delete
  14. I would happily watch a show about a cop whose trousers keep falling down and the one with the alien with toe issues but I fear they would run out of storylines pretty quickly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they may run out
      But then just throw in a talking trout

      Delete
  15. orlin N cassie...tell yur dad we bee sorree; but R mom LOL at de hooker rhyme...hope they getted ta de ER ...quik :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha hopefully the do
      As being snip snip might feel wrong to the human crew

      Delete
  16. You should be careful posting funny and hilarious awesome ideas at your mat since like you say Disney could steal it off the bat haha! In all seriousness Pat I do love these ideas, they do squash all flat, awesome stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah but as I said on your site
      If such a plight
      I'll let them get big
      Then sue the arse off the stealing pig

      Delete
  17. Those would make for some pretty interesting shows! You might just be giving somebody ideas here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let them steal
      Then I'll sue when they get a deal

      Delete
  18. A sitcom that a character who always rhymed would be hilarious! I say sell it! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha yeah that would sure be a win
      Could bring lots of dough to my bin

      Delete
  19. There is no such thing as original tv anymore
    I long for something refreshing in store
    I usually just catch up on old seasons on DVD
    One of these days, I may just altogether give up TV!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I hear that
      As watched most everything interesting at my mat
      Will prob just re-watch the ones I like
      The rest can take a hike

      Delete
  20. A show about two security officers and the shenanigans they get up to on a derelict site!

    ReplyDelete
  21. We don't watch tv live anymore. As you pointed out, they all suck anymore. We've been renting older shows, and that's where we get the tv fix lately.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is the thing to do
      Older ones are much better to view

      Delete
  22. while some could be funny, many would probably not be great, then again, each and every one would be better that what's served up spoiled on the reality plate. This switch to reality tv has been the absolute worst trend in television history, and yet people still watch and watch. hmmmf. Great rhyme and some I have to admit, I'd probably give a chime

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it is pathetic as pathetic can be
      Hate the shift to so called reality
      As anything can beat that
      But people keep watching so around spins the rat

      Delete
  23. I must confess!!!!!! I watch all that crappy reality ship! Not sure why I do it. Even my Grandkids laugh at me. They even call me to tell me to be sure not to miss Snookie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL oh the shame
      Playing the reality tv show game

      Delete
  24. What about a TV 'reality' show
    Where the folks talk in rhyme
    Don't you know
    Give it time
    Give it a go.

    Penny the pawetic pawet pawducing pawfect pawetry pawhaps...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pawtastic it could be
      As I'd surely win the money
      But not sure I'd stoop that low
      To be on a reality tv show

      Delete
  25. A show about cops?
    My, my, my.
    This idea must stop.
    Along with CSI.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah if only it would
      CSI needs to end for good

      Delete
  26. You have a Viking woman lass? More on this, Pat!

    Your reality list would be far more entertaining than the real stuff. I am writing down the new titles. Incredible.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha just a joke with the cat
      Who chews her umm fat
      Glad I could entertain
      Here at my lane

      Delete
  27. There's a lot of bad shows on tv. All this reality stuff is irritating.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it needs to go
      Screw each reality show

      Delete
  28. Thank you! This was really fun to read!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Now I know why I don't watch much TV. I have to confess though, at the gym, I've been known to watch a reality show or two...it does help make the time on the treadmill go by so much faster :)

    I also confess that since everyone else has a reality show, I've been wondering what kind of one our family could do :)

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah seems all can have one
      Can make dough by the ton
      And as your exercising away
      At least it passes the time of day

      Delete
  30. Hey, these sound better than anything that is actually on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But that doesn't take much too
      So not sure I should be proud of that at my zoo haha

      Delete
  31. What an imagination
    At your cat's station
    We want more shows
    With a toe that glows
    Who needs reality
    Let's stick to fantasy :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep Fantasy is way better to view
      Then reality which is untrue
      So that should be the way
      At each and every bay

      Delete
  32. The Human just watches the Nooz
    I say that gives her the blooz
    But I'd rather go on a crooz
    Than pay HBO my dooz

    Or something!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is true
      Keep the money that comes due

      Delete
  33. We like the glowing toe the best! We are lucky our mom doesn't watch much TV, mostly just he news . . .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And nothing there
      So you have a fine lair

      Delete
  34. You could have had cops arresting a derp! Why didn't you use that word! D:

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha could have used it
      But then I'd be stealing a bit

      Delete