Saturday, January 26, 2013

It Is Rude And Very Crude!

So the cat will play a little game matching the good and the bad of food fame. For with all the crap that came due he has learned a thing or two. Some are not that pretty might scare an old bitty.

By now many know,
That pringle cans are used for waste at my show.
But what you may not of heard,
Is the "light" is absurd.

Yeah, less fat for you.
But you know what is true?
The light pringles cause anal leakage when eaten.
Yummy, that fact can't be beaten.

Oh and rice is so great.
All should eat it on their plate.
Whoops, aresnic content is high.
So go ahead and answer your black stomach cry.

Pesticides are here and there,
All over your lair.
From corn to grapes,
You may be better off eating those old cassette tapes.

Oh and then there is the trans fat,
Which is in tons at your mat.
That stuff is oh so bad,
According to some scientific lass or lad.

Then there is this,
Then there is that.
None causes bliss,
You just get fat.

But flip it around,
And look what is found.
This study says the opposite thing,
Another let's a cancellation fling.

So besides the obvious anal leakage stuff.
Who really knows with their huff.
All one can do,
Is eat what works for you.

The cat has easily surmised this day,
That each and every single solitary bay,
Are different in every way,
With what they can eat on their food tray.

Miracle diet or eating this many times,
Is crap and worse than mimes.
No such thing!
That these idiots fling.

What works for one,
Does not work for another under the same sun.
They just want to keep the blinders on.
So all will fall for their con.

Obviously there is bad,
That should not be had.
But no such thing as good,
For each and every hood.

That was the cat's rant for today. Sorry for the anal leakage display. That isn't something I wanted to know. So I figured I'd share at my show. But the next time you see anything saying this is good and this bad and this is that and this is this. Print it off and on it take a piss. That is the worth of it. Food guides are worth about as much as spit. Actually that is worth more at my grass for the cat can use it to clean his little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

66 comments:

  1. Food for all its worth
    is unfriendly to the girth
    Obesity is very apparent
    Being unhealthy is a deterrent
    Change the diet of food intake
    Long life an element at stake
    Knock off things acidic
    Alkali based is the pick
    Wonderful life is the ultimate
    Pat and the Cat have so said!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it can o a ton
      If one doesn`t watch it under their sun
      A great life it can stop
      Making you drop
      So best to watch what it is
      That you eat with this biz

      Delete
  2. Ha ha ha I rant with cat
    Things are no better at my mat
    The thing that stands my hair on end
    Is that Honey Bees have not a friend
    A chemical called clauseaniden is bold
    It crosses every meridian, I'm told.
    The nicotine is what kills the bees
    Whacks them off right at their knees
    The culprit is big corporation
    Surprise? Tiz no revelation
    The EPA could have their say
    But they surely look the other way
    I'm sure they too are getting paid
    Or better yet perhaps get laid
    Bayer Corp is the sadists name
    Ban their goods, bring them to shame

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No surprise at all
      That big corp is standing tall
      While the bees an the like suffer their crap
      If it doesn`t work they just throw money at it to fill the gap

      Delete
  3. Ha ha considering the alternative
    I guess I will continue to eat
    I'm not a fan of Pringles anyway
    so I think anal leakage can be beat!
    (LOL)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yeah I stopped those
      So no more anal leakage woes
      True the alternative is worse
      But what they put in many a food is down right perverse

      Delete
  4. anal leakage..now there is a thought ewww what images yu've rought on my mind, its not kind, and what we eat will def kill with all the processing fill, good and bad it seems, is only in our dream as pringles our ass reams?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is about the size of it
      Those things will make you auto shit
      Nasty as nasty can be
      Avoid at all cost now by me

      Delete
  5. I could build a castle out of my old pringle cans

    that brand of chips has many fans

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I could too
      At one point at my zoo

      Delete
  6. That is all so true Pat. I like your food guideline that best...if it works for you that's all you need do!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is the best way to be
      Screw what many others try to tell thee

      Delete
  7. ha...no pringles for me please..though the cans are quite useful..ha..no such things as miracle diets...i agree...there was one wise lady once (hildegard von bingen) who said: it's the dose that makes a thing a poison...and i think she's right

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is true
      The more you eat the more it can poison you
      The cans are very useful indeed
      Work for kitty waste at my feed

      Delete
  8. Ahhh yes! Ingest things which don't let FAT stay in your bod... And the FAT has to go somewhere. "Somewhere" being back OUT! OUT the BACK way, that is! Hehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

    "Auntie"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah it has to come out
      As ones rear gives a shout

      Delete
  9. I have eaten a can of Pringles
    Until I was so full that my belly tingles
    Potato chips in general are my guilty pleasure
    But I best be careful, or there will be to much of me to measure

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh I used to eat them by the can
      Was a big fan
      Now not so much
      With their anal leakage and such

      Delete
  10. It been a while since I ate pringles. 

    I spend most of my time wishing I was single. 

    And I don't spend much time reading a lable. 

    I rather laydown and watch my cable. 

    I know this rhyme is  lame and wont bring me any fame. 

    But i sure enjoyed your post, made me smile while I drank my coffee and ate my toast. 

    This is fun!
    Madison:-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah avoid them you should
      Fun rhyme in my hood
      Not much on cable though
      But there is always a pretty good show

      Delete
  11. Oh Pat I am at a loss for words to say
    You have turned my favorite foods into a source of dismay
    That slim metal can houses some of the most delicious chips
    But now you have me wondering if they are worth the risk!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I liked them too
      But reading that made me go eww
      So tossed them aside
      Moved on with stride

      Delete
  12. I try to eat very healthy foods. No pringels for me... but do you know how hard it is to find healthy foods sometimes? Especially when traveling!! I eat very basic and have learned to love it.

    Your post kind of fits in with my post on foods that can help to heal the liver and gallbladder.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah fit in well
      With the post at my cell
      Avoid those pringles now too
      And yeah can be hard to eat healthy at one's zoo
      When flying all around
      As only crap is found

      Delete
  13. I love Pringles man so this is a little off putting for me haha, but great post despite the crudeness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah bet to chuck them away
      All gone now at my bay

      Delete
  14. Yum - nice post Pat! Who's for some nice soft, mushy fudge? In intend to eat enough artificial preservatives to live forever!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well that is a lofty goal
      To live forever and stroll

      Delete
  15. My husband had the leakage problem with the Pringles light.
    Lawd, that was not a good day to take a cross country flight!
    Ya gotta read the label on the back of that can.
    If not, you revert to a baby from a man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blah to that
      Surely need to read the back of everything at your mat
      And yep been there
      Went all baby at my lair

      Delete
  16. Sounds rather frightening
    but I heard of that Olean warning
    back when it first came out
    so I knew not to give it a shout.
    And it's not the 'light' but the fat free
    that can cause such misery.
    lol...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that I never knew
      Glad I tossed them at my zoo
      All that fake stuff is gone
      Anal leakage and all at my lawn haha

      Delete
    2. You shouldn't have mocked my healthy food list the other day
      Because you would have read in the comments bay
      that something titled fat free is usually bad
      Full of stuff to make your taste buds glad
      but your body will revolt
      and give a little jolt
      as the artificial stuff and goop
      is actually very bad for you!

      Delete
    3. Well my body revolted and so much more
      To the supposedly good stuff of lore
      So fat free and "good" stuff can go in the trash
      As it's about as good as a bum rash hahahaha

      Delete
    4. You should stick to the original
      a little fat on you, mr. skinny, is beneficial.
      lol....

      Delete
    5. No fat will stick to me
      Knock on wood at my sea haha
      Doubt I'll ever eat them again though
      But you never know

      Delete
  17. I hardly eat Pringles and canned stuff, its all phony food
    anyway and its best to eat the fresh stuff, fruits and veggies
    All of these nutrition info is good but not to the extreme, I say, everything in moderation ~

    Have a good Saturday Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah i avoid the fake stuff now
      As makes me have a cow
      Yep all of it is taken with a grain of salt
      Better off sucking on a single malt

      Delete
  18. This could actually help me with weight loss as the image of anal leakage dances in my head :)

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah that can be scary enough to work
      As it sure isn't a perk

      Delete
  19. I will never touch a Pringles again!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was my thought
      When I read of the anal leakage plot haha

      Delete
  20. Light Pringles gives liquid poop?
    Now that's a helluva scoop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, if you please.
      I'd like me some cheese.

      Delete
    2. Be better for you
      Unless dairy is scary at your zoo

      Delete
  21. Thanks God I dont eat Pringles! OH MY""

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is something I cringe at
      Knowing I've eaten so many at my mat

      Delete
  22. As far as I'm concerned
    This is what I've learned:
    If I like it, I eat it.
    If I don't, I just beat it.
    And because my Human's weak
    She'll give me what I seek.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the cat agrees
      Except stuff to prevent fleas
      I hate those pills
      They give me no thrills

      Delete
  23. That was absolutely great! What a hoot. In fact, I called my hubby in to read it too & he laughed as much as I. Thanks for sharing. No Pringles for me ever! Oh, and all this is so so true. I totally agree with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha glad you both could enjoy
      As I didn't remain coy
      Good to avoid the leakage too
      And nice rhyme at the end from you

      Delete
  24. Thanks for saving me a few calories tonight. I was thinking of going to get a snack, but that anal leakage image you put in my mind rid me of my appetite. I'll also never look at Pringles the same again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yeah that image can sure sway one from wanting to eat
      I curl my now up now every time I see pringles near my street

      Delete
  25. Ever noticed how some food that's been on the market for years suddenly starts to change? It tastes a bit different and next year a bit more, and before you know it you're eating something that reminds you of something you used to eat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah I noticed that on a few
      With all the crap that comes due
      It's lie what once was food
      Is now just some playdough dude

      Delete
  26. Replies
    1. Anal leakage is the best one
      Damn zombie feet need another run

      Delete
  27. I enjoy the ryhme. Bt i still want to eat fatty foods :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha go ahead
      As long as they don't cause you dread

      Delete