Thursday, January 3, 2013

Once More Orange Eejits Give An Encore!

They came back to my sea just to bother little old me. But I pulled the green stuff from their head and now they are bald but still cause me dread. The little orange men err umm things won't shut up. They are worse than a butt sniffing pup.

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo,
I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you.
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee,
If you are wise you’ll listen to me.

What do you get went hitting the gas?
A flattened mass and a puddle of ass.
Was saving time worth such a run?
Now your time is officially done.
I don't like the smell of it.

Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-da,
With a little patience you won't be hit by a car.
You won't get turned to goo,
Oompa loompa do-ba-dee-doo.
Do-ba-dee-doo

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo,
I’ve got another puzzle for you.
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee,
If you are wise you’ll listen to me.

Drinking is fine to do every now and then.
It allows you to hook up with women or men.
But too much and you are a drunk,
Stuck in line with your smelly funk.
Something like an outhouse.

Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-da,
Take a bath and you will go far.
You will smell less like a zoo,
Oompa loompa do-ba-dee-doo.
Do-ba-dee-doo


Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo,
I’ve got another puzzle for you.
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee,
If you are wise you’ll listen to me.

Why bothering committing a crime,
When you have the sense of a grocery store mime?
Posting your act on Facebook and Twitter,
Leaves you getting caught and makes more Internet litter.
Yours could fill a landfill.

Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-da,
Sadly your brains can't fill a toy car.
You will never get a clue,
Oompa loompa do-ba-dee-doo.
Do-ba-dee-doo

Wasn't that just annoying as annoying can be? They are beyond crazy. They need to go back to their homeland in space and leave my place, never to return. Or next time their face may feel a burn. Yeah, it would be something that I pass from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

58 comments:

  1. Back later with my own verse
    Surely could be a lot worse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bah throw in a curse
      And it will never be worse

      Delete
    2. Oompa loompa life is good
      when you do what you should
      oompa loompa life is bad
      when you follow every fad.

      Oompa loompa so much to do
      hoping I don't get the flu
      oompa loompa worse is verse
      I fear I have the rhyming curse!

      (See, I told you I would return!)

      Delete
    3. haha and that you did
      Flipping an oompa loompa lid
      Have to avoid the fad
      And yeah any flu would be bad

      Delete
  2. Hit the gas, you're done
    Had your fill, you're drunk
    The show-offs, on Twitter and FB
    Not reailizing their folly
    Make a crowd with no directions
    Shout about to fill their time
    Know what you mean,just puzzling!!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Puzzling it can be
      Even to me
      With such a crew
      Who tweet about such things as the loo

      Delete
  3. Did you know there was recently a robbery committed by two Oompa Loompa's? They were at a Christmas party and then robbed a guy later on. Why were they dressed as Oompa Loompa's at a Christmas party? I have no idea, cat.

    Here's the story: http://www.newser.com/story/160202/2-oompa-loompas-attacked-man-police.html

    I guess the moral of the story is - if you see an Oompa Loompa - RUN!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO never heard that
      That is too funny to the cat
      Although maybe not for the one who got robbed though
      Next time I see an oompa loompa I'm gonna give a pringle can a throw

      Delete
  4. Ooompa Loompas sound like they are quite the little criminals. But I hear they make some of the best chocolate!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is suppose to be the case
      Wonder how they got an orange face

      Delete
  5. Oompa Loompa I fully agree
    Those drunken b*stards get a finger from me
    Oompa Loompa, risk your own life, that's fine
    But you really suck if you're gonna risk mine

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha wow quite mad
      At the oompa loompas more than a tad
      The cat loves that
      Here at his mat

      Delete
  6. They look and act crazy, I agree
    why rob and shout your act to a tee
    in all of social media. Better
    to be sober, sit back and enjoy the show ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah sit back and gawk away
      Makes for quite the fun dispay

      Delete
  7. and the outhouse def has the funk, spent a year using that junk, ha those idiots posting pictures on FB, what a dumb crook...we had them here though, a group of HS kids created a gang, posted faked pics to build cred with a bang, was all fun and games, til the feds burst in to their shame

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A whole year?
      Damn that would strike fear
      And wow what a bunch of idiots they were
      Maybe humans need more fur

      Delete
  8. I am still laughing at Elsie's comment and news link. No matter what direction a blogger takes a post there is always some relevant crime story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha sadly that does seem to be the case
      Especially in that good old us of a place

      Delete
  9. on a side note I never watched the willy wonka remake

    mainly because the helpers are no longer orange, that's hard to take.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NEVER watch that thing
      Horrible in every way at any wing

      Delete
  10. Replies
    1. That they are
      Need to cover them in tar

      Delete
  11. Willy Wonka, I've never seen the appeal
    But I know the appeal for many is real
    For me, I'll continue living in Willy Wonka denial
    Hopefully for that, I am not put on trial

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some might string you up
      Or poison your coffee cup
      But not me
      Willy Wonka can be taken or left at my sea

      Delete
  12. Here we are wishing you a most happy new year. Love Darcy, Bingley and Helen xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the wishes
      I'll send some tasty fishes

      Delete
  13. Oompa Loompas on the run
    From dawn till dusk, they need some sun
    With orange skin and work they face
    To go through such a terrible pace.
    But it is true, heads do spin
    With tales of staying at a Holiday Inn
    We'll take a bed on 13 floor
    And order vodka by the score
    Return to work the morning after
    Big hangover minus laughter
    Sucking on a coffee bean
    They wish they'd stayed on the chocolate machine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn that sounds like a night
      That would give many a fright
      Be tough to wake up and see the light
      After taking in such a plight
      Might even lose one sight
      Should it ever take flight

      Delete
  14. This is excellent Pat, I love these little orange dwarves and the lessons that they teach us, great post man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lessons they can teach
      Even if they tend to preach

      Delete
  15. orlin N cassie...ther trooly R sum things az stoooooooooopid az de "B" werd N we hafta say oompaz make de list....

    =^00^=



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha oompaz and burds make your list
      To which you shake your fist

      Delete
  16. I hate it when the pup starts sniffing about!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah sniffing along
      Sounds oh so wrong

      Delete
  17. A grocery store mime?
    Is that worse than the regular kind?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Twice the same
      Spam catcher is to blame

      Delete
    2. ha..it didn't show at first
      so I gave it a second burst!

      Delete
    3. Google must have been mad
      Or just was trying to ruin your streak at my pad

      Delete
  18. A grocery store mime?
    Is that worse than the regular kind?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah worse indeed
      They try to interrupt your need to feed

      Delete
    2. I'l have to watch for those
      as they might step on my toes!
      That would surely cause me woes
      as I tried to buy potatoes.
      hahaha.

      Delete
    3. Pfft those nasty things you can keep
      Not even mimes would give them a peep

      Delete
  19. Sounds like a good song to sing when you're sitting on the bucket. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope nothing in a bucket
      Smells like something your dog up chucked it

      Delete
  20. people really are somewhat clueless what they post on social media... :P <3

    ReplyDelete
  21. so you think i should NOT post my crimes on FB and twitter..no...? ha...smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that would be wise
      And wear a disguise

      Delete
  22. Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-force
    We may be orange
    but we're hung like a horse.
    Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-doo
    It's not only that
    we know how to use it too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But they need some height
      Or it may never see the light

      Delete
  23. Classy and true, sounds like you.
    Though I would never be such a fool to post my crime in a public venue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is very true
      Stupid is as stupid does or do

      Delete
  24. Worthy of Dumbest Criminals program. Some people are really stupid. Now I've got the Oompa Loompa song stuck in my head. Curse you Pat!

    .......dhole

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha sorry for the dread
      But so fun that I got it stuck in your head

      Delete
  25. I don't want to blog about this, at least not yet. We just got some very bad news. The results of the Hubbys last EMG came back and it's bad. He has "dead spots" not just in his legs, but in his arms and hands. He has another more extensive round of tests tomorrow. We are definitely looking at one more major surgery this year and most likely two. The heart has gone out of me Cat.

    I'll be back when I feel more like myself.

    Nitey Nite.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ugg if it's not one thing it's another at each sea
      Sorry to hear about such woes for the hubby
      Just can't seem to get ahead
      Always seems to be more dread

      Delete