This just in at Whoopdi Friggin Doo's news bin:
Old One Eye tried plastic surgery for a second eye. Sadly it made her look like a guy. One with a plastic face mind you. Boy, the things one eyed people do.
A certain Petsy is going back to form. For at her zoo meowing is the norm. So she got some ant spray and caused each feline a numb tongue for the day. Someone needs to call the SPCA and send them her way.
Irish Air is full of just that, hot air! What? You were already aware? Damn, no good news about that lass. As she sends out everything like a certain cat passes gas.
After months of deliberation from his gawking. The Gawker is now up and walking, with a brand spankin' new pair of superhero underwear. The Power Puff Girls count, right? Whoops, you didn't hear that from my site.
A certain Daydreamertoo was caught selling spotted dick. At first cops thought she was pimping out women to trick. Then they chowed down on some too. Coppers like spotted dick, who knew?
It seems a dog named Schultz caught a house on fire. Things turned rather dire when he lit his own crap on fire. I guess now he's a dog for hire?
Somewhere out there Waffles is one his 54th Twitter account. That is quite the amount. When asked why so many he simply said, "It's because users keep asking me to wed." Wow, that is some issue. Give me a moment while I go get a tissue.
It seems there is an Adam without an Eve out there. But she ate apples so he must beware. Anyway, he got his tongue twisted when converting English to Japanese. A knotted tongue must make women weak in the knees.
Close by a thinking cap caught on fire. What is it today? Pyromaniacs for hire? I guess when a thought came, something that would bring fame, that light bulb was too bright and burnt the thinking cap on sight.
While Just Keepin' It Real Folks some woman slipped on egg yolks. I guess she ended up with egg on her face and egg in every other place. She was a human egg roll. She was an omelet that took a stroll. This story is sure egging me on. But I will stop before an exeggcute decides to spawn.
Wow, putting crazy cat ladies to shame comes a resident named Mary who is growing in fame. It seems she has an increasing number of dogs at her lair. She puts on a circus and charges a fare. Can't fault entrepreneurs I guess. Just watch where you step, they don't bury their mess.
Now I hope you enjoyed this national news update from Whoopdi Friggin Doo, where we didn't even need to use any of you. Hmm maybe we did go to Tell a Tale Town. But come now don't frown. Just because you believed us and are a sucker, doesn't mean that egg roller isn't a mighty fine clucker. Oh I kill myself. This is Robbie Raisin signing off with Bob the underpaid elf.
The cat thought he would let the news flow. Wow, some of the things that people try to hide at their show. Of course it could be all a tale and feel free to send Robbie Raisin your hate mail. Just search out Whoopdi Friggin Doo. Where? I don't have a clue. You can go ask the singing bass he may tell you more than my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.