Monday, February 4, 2013

What Is The Perk If You Are Not At Work?

So you humans are supposed to whistle while you work. I don't know why that is such a perk. But the cat will pretend to comprehend your tiny minds and your rat race grinds. What happens if you can't whistle though? I guess that is a whole other show. Anyway, what are you supposed to do for the rest of the day?

Maybe hop on one foot?
Roll in some soot?
Spin around three times?
Try to make orange rhymes?

I guess there is tons,
To do when life runs,
Far away from work,
To make you and maybe others smirk.

You could roll a tire,
Set your pants on fire.
On or off,
Either way some may scoff.

Click your heels twice,
Forget the Toto vice.
Fling cat hair in the air.
Walk around bare.

I hear that is all the rage,
The cat told you that long ago at his page.
Play musical chairs,
Hop down some stairs.

Talk to the shadows on the wall.
Flush each toilet in the bathroom stall.
Go roll in the grass,
Or snow since winter has come to pass.

Although look bellow,
And avoid if it's yellow.
Instead join on in,
Go for the win.

Simply write out your name.
Of course that is more of a male game.
Balance a book on your head.
Look up and talk to the dead.

Watch the paint dry,
Still waiting on that from that Brian guy.
Suck back the booze,
And do a Tom Cruise.

Get your mind from the gutter,
And forgo the butter,
I meant Risky Business underwear,
Or jump on a couch with flair.

Play ball with your cat,
We'll take it and your bat.
Try to be a fly on the wall,
And have a great fall.

Giving Humpty Dumpty a run.
See, there is all kinds of fun.
You could even flip off the sun,
Or get slapped by a nun.

So for the rest of the time,
You now have a new chime.
Whistle while you work.
The rest of your life has a whole new perk.

Isn't that cat helpful today? I always am at my bay. Just giving plenty of things for you to do while you are not in your work's view. Of course if you can't whistle you can choose one of these as well. Although your co-workers might damn you to Hell. Even if you do whistle a tune like some loon. Who cares if they talk crass. I'll still wiggle my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

77 comments:

  1. Cat with all the suggestions
    Plentiful choice to say the least
    Just bear with all the notions
    Can certainly end up with a feast
    No reason though not to whistle
    Co-workers are a welcome lot
    Thinking makes things feasible
    Pleasure to work more often than not

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True more often the not
      Would help a whole lot
      Except when a few
      Are lazy through and through
      So whistle away
      And annoy them through the day

      Delete
  2. I'm not a good whistler, but my mind is always in the gutter. Oh and recently I've been sucking down the booze like nobody's business.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The gutter and booze
      With that mixture you can't lose

      Delete
  3. "Fling cat hair in the air"

    Can we just fling you in the air cat? he he he

    I'll be around quite a bit this week, cat, don't you worry! Blogger has my name all over it for the next three days....at least in the morning....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure you can go for it
      When I'm up there I'll have a shit
      Then on your head it will come down
      You can have your very own crown hahaha
      Could not resist that
      About time you came back around the blog mat

      Delete
    2. I knew you missed me quit a bit
      especially when you felt the need to shit
      but I don't mind it all
      because I love to visit at your hall
      and get you all riled up and start to walk away
      turn around and flip you off and head on back to my bay

      ha ha ha!!

      Delete
    3. lol but as you flip
      You turn and trip
      Because with your finger to the sky
      You block your old one eye
      Not able to see a thing
      Like the cat stretching behind your feet some string

      Delete
    4. but as I flip I do a cartwheel
      and do it with such zeal
      I amaze and appeal
      to sign an amazing deal

      Now I am uber rich
      and an even bigger witch!

      Delete
    5. A cartwheeling one eye
      Make the kiddies cry
      As they watch you in the zoo
      Rich in flavor as they pull your tail and you moo hahaha

      Delete
  4. I can't whistle in the least
    I sound like a dying beast
    So I'll just be content with singing
    And making other people's ears continue ringing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha carry on the tune
      Pat sounds like a loon
      Can't carry a tune in a bucket
      But a whistle he can chuck it

      Delete
  5. haha i might get fired or forcibly retired should i follow your direction, or at least get a firm correction, but i am just crazy enough to try it, i'll let you know how it goes at my show...smiles...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well as long as they give you a nice pension
      Forcibly retired is worth a mention
      And no doubt
      You are crazy enough to give it a shout

      Delete
  6. You have suggested a lot of things
    and now my mind just sings
    I will have to keep this list near by
    in case I ever want to try
    to drive someone bonkers
    even though some ideas are clunkers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah annoying is grand
      Across the land
      Especially when they annoy you first
      So give it a burst

      Delete
  7. "Do a Tom Cruise"?

    Join a cult, pretend I'm not gay, and force a woman to marry me, all while being incredibly insane?

    ...yeah, I can do that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm sounds pretty easy to do
      But I'll leave that one to you

      Delete
  8. even the near rhymes to orange sound awful.

    I'm surprised nobodies coined their own word to just make a rhyme to orange.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha i could do that
      And yeah the near rhymes are rather flat

      Delete
  9. I can't whistle!!!! I've tried and failed too many times. So, I listen to music and work my little tush off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well at least you tried a ton
      To give a whistling run

      Delete
  10. The Mrs. is annoyed by whistling so I have to find other places to do it other than home. And, I would def stay away from the soot. Rolling in mud is more fun without the lung issues.

    Enjoy your day Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True mud is the better way to go
      And at least you know how to annoy at your show haha

      Delete
  11. true! work just keeps us from flipping of the sun and set our pants on fire. I'll try it on my holidays!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let me know how it goes
      And watch your toes

      Delete
  12. My grandfather always whistled and he did it so often that I still find myself doing it from time to time. The family likes it better than my singing. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well at least you can do both
      Even if they think your singing goes a little south

      Delete
  13. I had to laugh about writing your name, though I'm sure that is a man's claim to fame!

    alas, I'll get the perks of work today in a few short hours :)

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it would probably be
      A claim to fame at ones sea
      And here now
      The perks of work, raises eye brow

      Delete
  14. Actually I think Humpty Dumpty would make me run!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah he might fall on your head
      That could cause dread

      Delete
  15. Yeah, how could most people whistle while they work?????? Those crazy Disney Dwarfs. ,-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah thos dwarfs ruined it for all
      With their damn whistling call

      Delete
  16. So many fun things to do while you work! I think my husband and Schultz might like to see cat hair fly. Or better yet, see the whole cat catapault to the moon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well Schultz may get a whack to his nose
      And the hubby may lose his toes haha

      Delete
  17. For some reason this post reminds me of the Doby Gillis Show. Mainard used to always say "Work" in a high pitched girls voice when he was ask to work.

    You are way to young to remember that show!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I heard of many a show
      But that one I do not know

      Delete
  18. My daughter says that I whistle when I'm upset or nervous which is funny since I can't whistle a dern bit and i don't hear myself.

    fun rhymne, Pat Hatt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha always interesting when others see you
      And tell you what you do

      Delete
  19. Oh, no! Not the butter... :D

    I prefer my iPod to whistling~ <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah that would be more at ease
      Making one wiggle their knees

      Delete
  20. All work should be play.
    every hour of the day.

    And I LOVE your new header -- bravo Pat. Looking good. You going all code-crazy, boy? Fun!!

    xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wish it was here
      That would be enjoyable to my little rhyming rear
      Coding I can do
      At least a bit at my zoo

      Delete
  21. Busting a gut over here...the Tom Cruise line - that was good! Slapped by a nun...I remember our school principal, the one who broke the ruler on a friend's butt. Thanks for so many giggles and grins today. I do appreciate it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I could make fun come about
      And ouch, that had to hurt and cause them to shout

      Delete
  22. orlin N cassie...

    ever wunder if like dorothy had a cat.... sted oh a dawg.... if de mewvie wooda ended de same.....

    ok then...

    haza merry mackeral monday :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm you never know
      How that would go
      Could have killed the witch at the start
      By running her down with a litterbox cart

      Delete
  23. It's much less complicated that you've made it become!
    If you can't whistle while you work, then hum!
    Geesh! Now who looks dumb?
    LMAO. hahahahaha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL but a post that just says hum
      Does not let my blither on with my little rhyming bum

      Delete
    2. blither.
      now there's a word to make my tongue wither.
      lol...

      Delete
    3. Spencer wanted to send this to you. He hopes it sticks in your head. lol....

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m35Hf2ciftk

      Delete
    4. haha quite the word
      Might make your tongue feel absurd
      hahahaha now I'll hum away
      All night at my bay

      Delete
    5. yes, but absurd is better than numb
      and yes, I've done a thing so dumb.
      hahaha.

      Delete
    6. haha that I know
      Never will let that one go

      Delete
  24. Those are all some very interesting things to do while you work. I don't endorse the whistling though. It can get quite annoying. Like my daughter blowing on her kazoo, some things should not be done in the presence of others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah one might take the kazoo
      And threaten to shove it up ones gazoo haha

      Delete
  25. Whistling a song is lots of fun,
    But don't keep whistling the same darned one.
    Otherwise, the folks at work
    Will think you're a one-tune jerk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha but payback can be fun
      And one good annoy deserves another under my sun

      Delete
  26. I think that I had better just stick with whistling!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that works too
      Can annoy many at one's work zoo

      Delete
  27. I'll take all of the above instead of working! Except the pee thing of course

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah I'd take it too
      Even the pee thing if work was through

      Delete
  28. Not good at whistling, fairly competent at pee, and like to write rather than fight.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah writing is much better to do
      But here whistling can also come due

      Delete
  29. If you can't whistle at work then you're boss is presumably a jerk. Actually I just realised I can't whistle at all let alone whistle songs so I guess that I've got to look at some of these perks and hope they work, great job Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha geez another one
      Never knew so many people couldn't whistle under the sun

      Delete
  30. I can't whistle, never have been able to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Geez so many can't
      We'll blame it on some ant

      Delete
  31. A whistle is a musical art.
    Sounds better than a holler.
    Smells better than a fart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Depends though
      For as they blow
      Without a mint
      Their breath could tint

      Delete
  32. I'd have to down the booze before I do the Tom Cruise. (And that can be taken so many different ways. lol)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha oh mind went to the gutter
      That could make many stutter

      Delete
  33. Anything than a Tom Cruise! Please!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that would be bad
      Should be avoided a tad

      Delete