Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Raise Your Paw If You Disobeyed The Law!

So the cat has brought shame and will surely take the blame. He went and ripped apart a pillow case thing and oops, I ripped the tag off and gave it a fling. Pfft screw the law. I ate pieces of it and tore the rest with my claw. What are they going to do? They come near me and some pringle cans will come due. But that law isn't the weirdest one. I found even weirder ones than the last time this was spun.

In Miami and the surrounding place,
It is illegal to put on an animal face.
That is right,
It's illegal to imitate animals day or night.

Also down that way,
Hunting and killing a deer while swimming is illegal they say.
That takes talent though.
Should be an Olympic show.

And if a man feels like going out on the town.
He can't be seen in a strapless gown.
I guess Brian is out of luck.
Can't even waddle like a duck.

Skip over to Hawaii and I hear,
It is illegal for people to stick pennies in their ear.
I guess a nickel is fine,
And a quarter must be divine.

If you skip on over to Maine,
It it illegal to cause your landlord pain.
At least it is illegal to bite your landlord.
I guess you can strangle them with a cord.

And at the NY show.
This you may not know.
In the presence of a horse,
It's illegal to open and close an umbrella with or without remorse.

In an area of Ohio and its smog.
You better not have your head in a fog.
You need to stock up on gas in mass,
For running out is illegal to come to pass.

Down the Tulsa way,
It is illegal to have a kissing display.
Actually it is illegal for three minutes or more.
I guess you better time it if you are at that shore.

Up near the cat's way.
When it is a rainy day.
It is illegal to water your lawn.
I guess the rednecks will have to wait until a clear dawn.

On the other side in BC,
If a Sasquatch you were to see,
It is illegal to kill it.
Better hope it doesn't have a fit.

Skip the pond to England as well,
And you will be caused hell.
Just hang a bed out a window,
And off to jail you'll go.

Ireland is also a bit out there,
For it is illegal to practice witch craft at your lair.
If you do and get caught,
You get thrown in the stocks outside Dublin Castle and are allowed to be pelted with rotten fruit a whole lot.

There are many many more but I don't want to keep you here all day at my shore. They may make a law against that. Then they would fine the cat. That will not do. So have any been broken by you? The cat will break them in mass. I'll rip and eat all the tags off that are in view of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

91 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. After your rest
      Back on top with zest

      Delete
  2. Hank had to come back today, hmph!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing the matter. A near miss
      but still a photo-finish!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Hank came back just in time
      To stop you from the first chime

      Delete
  3. Hunting and swimming at the same time, guess I'll leave my spear gun at home

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That may not count
      But sure it falls under some other mount

      Delete
  4. It's real weird
    Imitating an animal
    Can be dismal
    A no, no, for man
    a strapless gown
    Cause more than a frown

    Lucky just a few
    but anything else's new?


    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nah nothing new
      As it goes to every zoo
      Without a clue
      As break in on cue

      Delete
  5. Some of the laws on the books are hysterical. The one about beds hanging out of windows in England must have come about during the era of hotel trashing, lolol (I'm thinking Rock bands). ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I bet that was true
      But I'm sure they never got arrested at their zoo
      Maybe just the wannabe fans did
      Who chucked the beds out and made the hotels flip their lid

      Delete
  6. ha, hang a bed out the window,
    now that would be quite the show,
    especially if you were still in it
    take that fall and you might get hit
    and gunning from the lake,
    well maybe if chased by a snake
    but wouldnt your gun get wet
    i'd take that bet

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha a person there
      Would be a fun affair
      Until they went splat
      As they have no claw lie the cat
      And yeah be tricky to do
      With a gun and swim at ones zoo

      Delete
  7. It really is crazy some of the stupid laws that are in place in various states, it's easy to break the law when some are so ridiculous, I guess as long as nobody's arrested for any of them it's not that big a deal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah if no arrests are made
      All can break such laws with ease and no fines are paid

      Delete
  8. Silly me
    what will
    I do
    for I boiled
    newt in a pot
    of stew,
    an enchantment
    I hoped to brew.

    What is it
    you ask
    I hear
    that I wanted with
    my heart so dear?

    There is a Cat
    that I know
    so well
    and I hoped
    to spell him
    straight into Hell.




    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that is against the law
      For that you will get the claw
      And then the cat will make you lunch
      Or it can be good for brunch
      As you'll be guzzle down
      And become the talk of the town
      With your dish of newt
      I bet they make you toot

      Delete
    2. I don't know Cat. I might get Sainted for that one as I'd be ridding the world of a great evil if I disposed of you.

      Delete
    3. Pfft the cat is owned by Saint Pat
      So one saint cancels out the other as the cat squashes you flat

      Delete
    4. Were both Saints as there is a Saint Anne as well. She was the mother of the Virgin Mary. So there.

      Delete
    5. Hmm see canceled out
      So the cat there is nothing you can do about

      Delete
  9. Ha, if I saw Sasquatch I would run the other way
    wouldn't tangle with him at all at my bay!
    Laughed about the bed hanging out of the window
    If that happened I'd yell look out below!
    Ha, I chuckled at it being illegal to have an animal face
    Must be boring at Halloween at that place.
    Good ones today
    at your bay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I'd run too
      But be a bit curious at my zoo
      And that would sure squash someone
      They'd surely have to run
      Could be a bore
      Maybe instead they use a mask of Al Gore

      Delete
  10. There's enough weirdness in Ireland without the witchcraft but we got rid of them along with the snakes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are snakes here where I'm living. I was in the creek getting rocks for my gardens and this snake was right there by my leg. Oh Jesus, I almost died.

      Delete
    2. Got rid of the snakes too
      Damn, on a roll at your zoo

      Poor Anne getting cared by a snake
      Think it was an earthquake

      Delete
    3. It freaked me out something terrible. I screamed, dropped my rock and scrambled up to dry land. I don't like snakes.

      Delete
    4. The cat knows your weakness now
      I'll remember that to make you have a cow

      Delete
  11. so dressing like an ass on Halloween is out in Miami. I am surprised there aren't a lot more people in jail down there since some of them act like a jackass.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well I think that is everywhere
      But still have not been to Miami's lair

      Delete
  12. That's our favourite pastime in Dublin, pelting witches with rotten fruit, I guess that's why Anne moved..huh huh?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha so the secret is out
      That is why Anne left so she wouldn't get pelted with rotten fruit and shout

      Delete
  13. I hang my head and my paws are at my side,
    For by the law I try to abide
    But put me behind the wheel of a mighty fast car,
    and the petal goes to the metal so I can go far.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have paws too?
      That must look weird on you haha
      And if it is fast enough
      The cops can't catch you no matter how much they huff and puff

      Delete
  14. Since I work for local government and I know a little about how our laws come about, these little weird laws always make me wonder what the story is behind them. And they show how stupid it is to try and legislate everyone's behavior because you have an issue with one person.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah prob most came about over a grudge
      After giving the law makers a little nudge

      Delete
  15. I spent some time in the back of a cop car
    and when I tried to run, I didn't get far
    Police are funny that way
    they just want you to stay
    wherever they tell you
    and no matter what you do
    even if you cry and whine
    they make you pay a big fat fine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oooh what did you get busted for? Sounds intriguing.

      Delete
    2. Oh in the back you say
      Must have scared a poor citizen with your once eyed display
      Or maybe just speeding away
      Down at your bay
      Or going nude on the town
      Wearing some scary crown?
      Pestering the canadians back?
      My what you do at your shack

      Delete
  16. There are some really really strange laws on the books
    When I read them I can't help but give funny looks
    I wonder if they really enforce these insane laws?
    If they do, they should seriously give some pause.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah wasting the tax payers money
      Enforcing laws that are funny
      That would be the next reality tv show
      Sigh, I just gift wrapped it for them I know

      Delete
  17. the deer swimming thing sounds like a world record challenge than a crime.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah that is true
      Wonder how many could pull it off at their zoo

      Delete
  18. How nosy and bored would you have to be to time a couple kissing?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha very very bored
      An more nosey then than a land lord

      Delete
  19. Replies
    1. But it is your turn
      That tag you earn

      Delete
  20. Replies
    1. Glad t was fun
      As I gave the law a run

      Delete
  21. hahaha Hang your bed out the window far..
    maybe they just want to sleep under the stars!
    Hope there are rails on the sides
    in case the sheets are slippery and they slide!
    lol...

    Guess I better not run out of gas!
    Wouldn't want a ticket to come to pass!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe it was a bad hitman
      Who was more of a flash in the pan
      Death by mattress though
      Is clever and embarrassing all in one go
      And yeah keep that gas
      Or a ticket may come if you run out near your grass

      Delete
  22. Taking down notes for my A to Zed.
    I'm writing about Wicca like I said.
    I'd no idea Irish witches were pelted.
    Is that better than Oz where they're soaked
    and then melted?

    ~VR Barkowski

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A fact from the cat
      How about that
      Hmm melted may be worse
      But both could get a curse

      Delete
  23. I wish we had that strapless gown law for men here. I worked in retail once and had a man come through with a dress and sky high heels. After paying, he immediately went into the bathroom and put them on, then walked out of the store. I haven't recovered from that one since.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahaha scarred for life
      As he walked out without strife

      Delete
  24. OH NO!!! Not the *AWFUL* tag-rip-off!!!!!!

    I had to cut tags off a pillow, which husband uses on his recliner. He SAID that I can see better, than he can see, so would I please remove them.

    Hehhhhhhhhhhhhh...

    I know! He was just afraid of the *Don't Remove Tags Police" coming after him!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    LOL.

    Gentle hugs,
    "Auntie"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL so he let you do the crime
      So he wouldn't have to do the time

      Delete
  25. orlin N cassie...

    we cracked up at "Brian's gown" ....if this bee de same Brain we noez...tell YUR dad ta watch out !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha a gown for him
      Would need to be rather slim

      Delete
  26. Thankfully I'm not a law breaker..my mattress still has the tag on it too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All nice and law abiding at your sea
      Guess I'm just a law breaking kitty

      Delete
  27. Yeah, I hate those smog gas bans here in Ohio. I admit, I've filled up a time or two when the smog skies weren't blue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Smog gas bans don't sound fun
      No wonder you guys have a ton

      Delete
  28. It's against the law
    As I raise my paw
    To comment on a post
    From the east coast
    Between the hours of six till ten
    Oh no, I've done it again
    I'm in trouble
    Must leave now, on the double....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're tied at your sea?
      That can't be good for thee
      Tell the human to take a hike
      And go on whenever you like

      Delete
  29. In Malaysia it's illegal to kiss in the trains!
    You have no kissing signs up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow never knew that
      Guess swapping spit better be kept under your hat

      Delete
  30. ur kidding right? i never can tell if your kidding?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope all are real
      As I spin the law wheel

      Delete
  31. My cat destroyed the couch
    It costs a lot of money, ouch
    Also ripped up a chair
    Nowhere to sit at my lair!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha just makes it feel like home
      And now people won't come to roam
      Just leave you be
      All thanks to the kitty

      Delete
  32. I've been meaning to tell you that the grocer near us sells something called Canadian Bologna. I have no idea what the hell that is, but if I get a chance I'll take a picture of the stuff and show it to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never heard of that
      Heard of Canadian Bacon at my mat
      And there is nothing Canadian about it
      Just some american made up shit haha

      Delete
  33. I totally approve of Miami where the Humans may not dress up like animals--well, at least not their faces. And THANK CEILING CAT for that! The Humans just make themselves AND us seem ridiculous!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is very true
      Those animal groupie things they have in view
      Are just plain creepy
      Plus they get a little peepy

      Delete
  34. Love it. I don't think I've done any of this. I do have to say I am now tempted to hang a bed out a window by the way, lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha good luck with that
      Either need a small bad or a mighty big window at your mat

      Delete
  35. Hahaha! We love paying lawmakers to come up with stuff like that! We think there are a whole lot of paws in the air today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep paws go up
      As the pillow tag suffers a hiccup

      Delete
  36. I'm fairly certain somewhere in Canada it's illegal to pay with pennies for anything that costs more than $0.25.

    Not that it matters anymore, the penny is gone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never knew it was illegal to do
      Knew some places would tell you to shoo

      Delete
  37. I'm fascinated here, pulling rhyming poems one after another is true talent in my book

    ReplyDelete
  38. No law here but perhaps should be
    Cyclists in mode "Hey, watch me"
    Shouldn't wear horts too see-through-sie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha hmm that would be good
      Maybe just wants to show off in your hood haha

      Delete
  39. Another fun post, Pat! :)
    Have a good evening where you're at! :)

    ReplyDelete
  40. The three-minute limit winned it, but..
    No killing Sasquatches in BC?
    I really wonder how that can be?
    Would they bend the law if it's self defence?
    I think that would make some sense.
    (not really, I'm vegan)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah I suppose they must
      And I guess with the kissing they don't like lust

      Delete
  41. Yeah, well, I guess Porky's (1982) Kim Cattrall will have a hard time being quiet at the gym... whenever she's in Miami.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that see will
      As the sweat socks thrill

      Delete