Saturday, March 2, 2013

To Annoy Brings The Cat Joy!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!

So you know the cat likes to pester and can be a patience tester. It is so fun to annoy and it brings the cat joy. You humans are so fun to take on, falling for all my tricks at your lawn. But the cat will never give those away. Instead he will show off your petty ways to annoy today.

So you want to annoy?
Here is a ploy,
Or maybe ten,
To make it happen at your den.

Simply ask all to prove it.
Should be fun for a bit.
My name is Pat,
Prove it, is what you shout at your mat.

When getting out of an elevator next time,
Commit a terrible crime.
Hit all the buttons and run.
That would be such fun.

Need to use the laundry mat?
Here is a tip from the cat.
Use a seperate dryer for each of your socks.
That will get some gawks.

Pretend you are at a loss,
To every person you come across.
Ask them what gender they are.
That will annoy by far.

End everything you say,
Each time at your bay,
With whoopdi friggin doo.
Or just go achoo.

Whenever anyone says hi,
Look to the sky.
Bark like a mutt,
Just don't sniff their butt.

Call your family collect.
That is something they won't expect.
They don't pick up, oh well.
Save money on your cell.

Pick a song,
That will make all sing along.
Such as the one below,
That I just have to show.

This is the song that never ends,
It goes on and on my friends.
Some people, now it's stuck in your head.
I love causing such dread.

Or the wheels on the bus for round and round,
Round and round, round and round.
I think I have proved once more my case.
Have fun singing that all over the place.

Develop an unnatural fear,
And even throw in a tear,
Or a big scary pen.
Although you might end up in the loony den.

Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
That can do no wrong.
You'll get told to shut up,
Or hit with a coffee cup.

Go to a poetry affair,
At some far off lair,
And ask why they all don't rhyme.
Warning, you may get struck down in your prime.

And last but not least,
Inform all you meet from west to east,
That they only exist in your mind.
Then at least you wouldn't have to be kind.

There are a ton more but I'd go on forever at my shore. Of course I could also annoy that way. Oh such fun I have at my bay. Maybe I'll have to do an annoying part two here at my zoo. Of course there is also that annoying singing wall bass. I just want to strike that down with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

87 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Many are after you
      Better watch what comes due

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Yay Yay Yay
      Here's a posey
      Just for Rosie
      My pompom'a are shak'n
      #1 you'll soon be make'n

      Delete
    2. Got the cheerleader down
      Here at my town
      And only a little off too
      As Hank i lurking at 7 all the time at my zoo

      Delete
    3. Dang Rosey... and you were so close. Maybe tomorrow will be your day.

      Delete
    4. haha so close
      Doesn't count at my house

      Delete
    5. It's brutal in here w/the fellas I see. I was just going to blow it off and give Hank his due, but w/the two ladies here cheering, I may try again next week. ;)

      Hank is good... but I'm willing to hang in there w/the competition a little while longer. :)

      Delete
    6. haha well good luck
      Some days Hank is out so you may get first cluck

      Delete
  3. One need not say a word
    Wicked smile is already bad
    Others will get annoyed
    Thinking they've been had
    One need not even insult
    Look to the sky, act stupid
    They would just get fed up
    To put up with your antics

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yep that is all it takes
      Pretend to jump in lakes
      Don't have to say one word
      Then just run away thinking your absurd

      Delete
  4. Wow, you have come up with a long list of ways to annoy for sure! I have experienced getting on an elevator and finding all the floor buttons pushed. DEFINITELY annoying to have to stop at each floor.

    I might annoy some as I walk the track at the Y. Sometimes I catch myself humming along with the song playing on my iPod. I don't always realize it...until someone gives me a 'look.' LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does that really surprise
      I can annoy flies haha
      And yeah being the one to get stuck
      Sure makes you say something worse than duck
      haha hum away
      Annoy them all day

      Delete
  5. haha...i think i have a serious poetry affair with all the poems at my lair ya know..and now go and teach me that 99 bottle beer song..smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha go ahead and run that through
      All will be annoyed by the time one comes due

      Delete
  6. If your name is Eloise
    Not everyone can you ever please
    If your neighbor's name is Dennis
    You may ship him off to Venice
    If your name by chance is Tom
    Return the pig or tell his Mom
    If per chance your name is Peter
    Hide the pumpkins,run a meter
    If your game is to annoy
    There are others not so coy
    If the wrong way of others you rub
    There's room at the top, join the club

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The names fly
      From each girl and guy
      Those ones I will avoid
      Now you got me paranoid
      But room at the top
      Sure isn't a flop
      Top of the crop
      With a bob shh bop

      Delete
    2. Hahahaha... My Hubs name is Dennis, should I ship him off to Venice?

      Delete
    3. He might like that
      A free trip to the Venice mat

      Delete
  7. Do you know anyone who is annoying just by breathing? I do.

    ReplyDelete
  8. lol...annoying as hell, but sometimes its fun to ring the bell of those that need it, and i'll admit i might have done one or two as i danced about the zoo...the elevator for sure, now wasnt that a burr. and all you need is to disagree with some to cause a stir...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yep getting them back in a little way
      Is fun to do at each bay
      I hit all the buttons a time or two
      Sure some was annoyed that came due

      Delete
    2. Brian has danced about the zoo? Now how did I miss that one? Oh wait...not my zoo....lol....

      Delete
    3. haha not hard to believe though
      Sure he danced quite a jig at his show

      Delete
  9. oh, yes, these are definite ways to annoy. The elevator thing used to irk me some big time when I used to do the hotel stays. Many of these I've encountered, and, to be perfectly honest, I think I've used a few myself over the years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah we all have seen them at our bay
      And even if we don't want to admit it have used them in one way

      Delete
  10. You have an *eeeeeeevil* mind Pat! And Cat toooo!!!! -giggles- Glad I don't live near your pad. It could be... problematic, to say the least!

    Heh-heh-heh...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha evil is grand
      So fun to put it to work in my land

      Delete
    2. problematic. lol....and you'd have to watch for Pringle cans being flung.

      hey..if you don't eat those anymore, what do you do when you scoop litter at your shore?

      Delete
    3. Geez forgetful aren't we
      Remember I said I use the spinach plastic containers at my sea

      Delete
    4. Oh yes, my mind is failing!
      I can't even remember an attachment while emailing!
      LMAO!

      Delete
    5. LMAO yep that is bad
      First hands, now mind, breaking down at your pad

      Delete
  11. Hate that song that never ends. Almost as much as 99 bottles of beer on the wall. To tell you the truth, not sure which I like the least.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sing them both at the same time
      Which ever gets stuck in your head is the worst chime

      Delete
  12. All cats like to pester!! I think that is why they were put on this earth, .. to pester us.

    Can you imagine asking a big tough guy what gender he is. Might end up picking your teeth up off the floor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I can run really fast
      So I wouldn't get a cast
      And yep pester away
      They do at every bay

      Delete
  13. LOL; now I have two songs in my head, they will be there all day I dread, wheels going round, beer bottles being taken down; that cat really does like to annoy, does he ever bring joy?

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha annoying is to much fune
      And always must be done

      Delete
  14. These things would be very fun to do!
    Have you done any of them at the zoo??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha have done a few
      From songs to slapping elevator buttons to faking an achoo

      Delete
  15. Love this Pat, I could definitely see you going on and on with the list of endless possibilities haha, funny rhymes man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah there is a ton one could do
      If they want to annoy at their zoo

      Delete
  16. Lamb Chop and the Song that never ends? Oh, Cat...that's so wrong to do that to me today! Payback time...
    100 bottles of beer on the wall, 100 bottles of beer!
    Take one down, pass it around, 99 bottles of beer on the wall.

    99 bottles of beer on the wall. 99 bottles of beer!
    Take one down, pass it around. 98 bottles of beer on the wall.

    98 bottles of beer on the wall. 98 bottles of beer!
    Take one down. Pass it around...

    Must get back to work now. See you again soon:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL trying to get payback on me
      That is not nice of thee
      I'll have to go crank up a tune
      So no beer stays in the head of this loon

      Delete
  17. This sounds like fun! I'm going to pretend that everyone is a figment of my imagination today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha works really well
      Others might not think it so swell

      Delete
  18. Oh thanks so much, now I have Lamb Chops song that never ends in my head for the day. I used to watch that show with my daughter when she was younger..lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I watched it way way back when
      Hated it at my den
      Only one tv though then
      Now all easily have ten

      Delete
  19. A good and crazy list to annoy people for sure Pat ~

    If I end my post or sentence with that funny and long verse,
    it will make people go nuts, like I am a broken record ~

    Have a good weekend Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha but oh it is so fun to see
      As they go nuts and shout at thee

      Delete
  20. Do you have a Singing Wall Bass?
    I think you deserve one for your sass!
    Might have to find one in the auction trash
    and send it to your smart little ass!

    Nothing stuck in my head
    until I could hear Lamp Chop, and with dread
    I began humming the Song That Never Ends.
    You will be repaid, my friend!
    lmao....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL we used to have one
      Long time ago under my sun
      Remembered it scarred the cats too
      As its head moved on cue
      Geez feisty today
      At my bay..lol
      Well at least since it never ends
      You'll always have something to say to your friends

      Delete
    2. Friends I will have no more
      if I sing that at my shore.
      haha.

      Delete
    3. haha well that could be a perk
      To at least get rid of a jerk

      Delete
  21. I think you were never the little brother
    so you didn't get big siblings to bother
    and you're trying to relive something you never got
    like some annoying little tot.
    haha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I got it quite a bit
      As I liked to stir up shit
      I guess it just stuck
      So all are out of luck

      Delete
  22. The cat is baaaadddd!
    but make me laugh
    this::
    Whenever anyone says hi,
    Look to the sky.

    So I know what you make when look people dont like:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep just tilt your head
      To ignore what was said
      Bad is grand
      Here in my land

      Delete
  23. Hi Pat! Your post brings back memories of seemingly never-ending school bus field trips hearing the kiddos sin 99 bottles of beer... with great delight! Have a good evening!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they sing it with great delight
      Annoying all day and night
      So much fun to do
      As you go to the zoo

      Delete
  24. That sounds like normal for most I'm sure, but not here, tis a bit of a bore.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha have to go farther you say
      There at your bay

      Delete
  25. My kids do a lot of these things already. Great list, though! Woopity friggen doo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha it being normal can be interesting too
      And nice with the whoopdi friggin doo

      Delete
  26. Just show me the itty bitty kitty
    and wham bam I'm out there mam!
    Tearing up and down the garden
    wondering wha' 'appened!
    You see I'm a Doodle Dog
    Who's trying to understand
    the ways of the itty bitty kitty
    That's All!

    Sophie Doodle 1/2 Poodle here!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the itty bitty kitty
      May head for the city
      And get far away
      From your dancing display
      But this kitty
      Ain't bity
      He likes dogs too
      So may just swat you

      Delete
  27. You suck! First I was mad because of the stupid This is the song that never ends but then I read the wheels on the bus...and yep, I remember that blasted post and how angry and it made Jax and I. Stupid Cat!

    Goodnight, Pat...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha pissing off you and blabber is grand
      Always fun to do in my land

      Delete
  28. Too funny...everytime! Speaking of asking gender...I dislike when people ask the gender of your baby when they are drenched in pink!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is kind of dumb
      Some people must be drunk off rum

      Delete
  29. hit all the buttons and run

    in an elevator it's hard to be done

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha but you can run
      Unless the elevator is stuffed a ton

      Delete
  30. I can't compete with your awesome rhymes
    or with the talented responses.
    So I'll just say, I love your posts. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that works too
      Could practice at your zoo

      Delete
  31. When sitting at a light
    give the folks quite a sight.
    Just strike a pose
    with a finger up your nose.
    Then like a cube of sugar
    just eat that booger.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blah to that
      Stirs up the ocd of the cat
      Rather pick and flick
      The eat it a that is just ick

      Delete
  32. I am a good boy
    And never annoy.
    If you think that's true
    I have a bridge I will sell you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha wow a bridge
      I bet I could fit it in my fridge

      Delete
  33. LOL! This was my favorite verse:

    "Go to a poetry affair,
    At some far off lair,
    And ask why they all don't rhyme.
    Warning, you may get struck down in your prime."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yep it it true
      They will string up you

      Delete
  34. It seems like the cat has a little trickster streak in his blood. I might have to try that elevator prank some day ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yep plenty of trickster surrounds
      Here at my grounds

      Delete
  35. all heights of annoyance crossed :P
    who should i sympathize with pat or cat :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pat, not the cat
      He stirs everything up at our mat

      Delete